<p>CPU - I read your post last night, but waited to post. You are doing all the right things by reaching out to many helpful resources at school. Your whole post was about your relationship with your mom, not about school or friends. I think from being away from your mom is giving you a new perspective of your relationship. </p>
<p>I had a very difficult relationship with my father growing up. I didn’t seek help until I was in my 30s because I thought it was quite normal and I should just suck it up. I ultimately had to get some help because I crashed. My psychiatrist helped me a great deal in sorting out my feelings. I got to understand where my father was coming from, and in some ways I was able to “forgive” him. I realized that he wasn’t perfect as a parent and it was ok not to be perfect. Our relationship improved greatly after I was able to put a distance between his expectations of me and what I wanted out of life. Few years ago, at a rare moment, my father told me that I was a better parent than he was to us and he was sorry for some of his behavior. I wish I had seek out help earlier, and not wait until I crashed emotionally. </p>
<p>I would encourage you to stay at school if only for the reason of help you could get at a school like H. Try to take it easy with your courses for now and work on your emotional well being. If it is not too difficult, I would turn off the GPS tracker with your mom. It is too much information and only leads to unnecessary discussion (fight). </p>
<p>Hope I am not reading too much into your post.</p>
<p>CPU - Good for you, making the appointment and getting to that first appointment are huge steps. You will be so relieved that you took action and these counselors should be able to help you navigate your feelings. Freshman year is hard - it is so much more than taking classes. You are not alone in your feelings and by taking action, you will be able to identify steps to help you enjoy your college experience.<br>
My son is also a freshman at college and first semester has been eye opening to him…he is now amongst kids who are all intense, hardworkers and doers…he says it is easy to feel like he is an unaccomplished slacker compared to some others and is trying to work on taking on only what is right for him…it is hard when you are surrounded by others who may unconsciously put pressure on you to know what it is right…but seeing the counselor can help you pick a course of action that is right for you…
Good luck today! May it be the start of your feeling happier and confident in yourself</p>
<p>It’s the bravery part that I get a kick over … my D, who is in music school and doing great, would have had 3 strong songs to consider before she auditioned and put her skills out there to be judged. He had one (non-country) song he knew that he knew the words to and could sing, and everything else he had to do was scales and a song they had to learn during the audition. I was afraid he was going tell me he sang “Red Solo Cup.”</p>
<p>What I take away from this is, next time I’m afraid to put myself out there in some new challenge, I’ll ask myself, “What would S do?” He is not afraid to be vulnerable. I’d give him a greenie square if I could, or at least an imaginary bingo point.</p>
<p>Yes, agree with oldfort that CPU and mom should agree to turn off the GPS tracker. That is a control issue disguised as concern … the mom needs to let go and CPU needs to learn how to help her mom let go in a way that is kind but firm.</p>
<p>Another vote to turn off the GPS. Your mom does not need to know where you are all the time. College is an opportunity to foster independence in an environment overseen by unrelated adults. I hope your mom can look at it as a transition phase. </p>
<p>If your mom can agree, set a time to call her once a week and check in. Otherwise, send some texts or emails during the week. That way she’s in the loop, but from a distance.</p>
<p>Best wishes. You have hit a bump as so many other freshmen do, but your maturity and ability to move forward and look for solutions will keep you going. Anything you can pick up for fun? Exercise group, community service, intramural team, volunteer at the writing or math center (if that sounds fun), watch a music/theater performance. Try something new; outside the box.</p>
<p>CPU - another vote for turning off the GPS tracker. Another thing to think about is just writing your mom a one or two page letter every other week. You won’t have to have a set time where you have to be on the phone with her (although phone calls can be great) I letter will show that you are thinking of her, but she can’t get worked up if you don’t respond right away (as with a text or email) and a letter won’t degrade into an argument. It is not really an either or thing, but letters can be a good way to reach out, but also keep a little distance. (It’s a trick some of us older parents used to do way back when we were kids in the 20th century! ;)</p>
<p>I agree on the GPS tracker being turned off. If your mother knows you are in counseling, discuss it with the counselor and tell your mother the counselor said you need to turn it off. Sometimes it’s easier to let the therapist be the heavy and sometimes it keeps it from becoming a power struggle. And I would stagger your response to texts slowly. If she texts, “Where are you?” wait a few minutes to respond. Slowly you can extend the length of time in responses. You don’t have to be available to respond 24/7.</p>
<p>Hubby was first to the phone last night and donated money to the university’s - I forget the name of the department - the one that helps with resumes and job placement. Lucky them, I’m usually not so giving. I told him once they really start hounding for the big bucks I’d be handing the phone over to him.</p>
<p>It is just now occuring to me that the banner at the top of this website puts up the schools that you looked at over on the alphabetic list of colleges. duh Funny how long I either didn’t notice or thought was a coincidence.</p>
<p>Said tearful goodbyes to our first child, son, Cal. Thousands of miles away, but it was the best decision. He is at Clark Kerr, but now looking into frats for next year. Any advice on frats? Computer Science kid.</p>
<p>Frat ideas … not knowing what frats are at your S’s school, I’ll generalize. As a computer science kid he will be working hard some late nights on programming assignments. He will need to be associating with kids that understand this and don’t put unnecessary pressure to socialize during the week day (i.e. Thirsty Thursday get-togethers) Many schools have frats that are engineering focussed, which also includes CS. These fraternities have just as much fun as the non-tech frats, but they are all suffering the late night assignments together so they don’t feel like they are missing out. (I was in a sorority with a lot of education majors and I studied engineering … I could not keep up with some of their social engagements during the weekday.)</p>
<p>My mother isn’t like the parents that desperate students post on CC about. My mom and I talk everyday whether through text or video chatting. She is not over bearing and we mutually initiate contact. She doesn’t use the GPS as an extended leash. Sometimes she doesn’t hear from me for extended periods of time so she’ll ask where I am/what I’m doing (and if she hasn’t heard from me, something is usually wrong… eg when I posted here). I try to be unbiased in my posts but I know when I’m impassioned it doesn’t always happen that way. If I were to right that post now, the tone would be different. </p>
<p>Had second appointment with SW today. Assigned a therapist for the rest of semester and I’m going to meet with another dr for an eval. </p>