<p>My understanding is that a lot of it is up to the resident director. For a first time offense, it is likely to be a $150 fine plus Probation (and, the record of it). If it had been a second time the fine would be closer to $300 dollars and he would end up going on to a peer review council of some sort and get further punishment that might include getting kicked out of housing immediately, legal intervention, or other stuff). I think the fines and punishment is heavy because he was caught smoking it in the dorms, so it is both smoking an illegal substance and vandalism. </p>
<p>He currently is in a 4 person suite (two bedrooms, small entryway/commonspace, and a bathroom), the RAs think that him and one of his suitemates, as well as two other friends of said suitemate smoked in the bathroom. So it is very possible that the Vodka isn’t his. He claims it was his roommate’s, and that he had been “Nagging [his roommate] to take it out of the room” for two weeks… That said, he says he is not going to argue against the Vodka because “Its not fair to my roommate, who has nothing to do with this, to get in trouble”. Sigh, why can’t people learn? </p>
<p>Sigh, I guess we just have to wait and see. According to him (via email) the RD hasn’t contacted him yet, which seems surprising.</p>
<p>I am sorry hurryhead that you are dealing with this. I think this might be something you could offer your support to your son for, but in reality this is his issue and he as to go throught the steps and deal with the consequences.</p>
<p>Ok wise parents - WWYD? DS has an opportunity to travel around India for a month with a friend from school. His friend’s family is Indian, but live in the US. They will be traveling back to India for a family event and DS and his friend will travel around on the CHEAP before and after the wedding. DS will pay for everything, this is on him not on us. So, is this a case of, “Wow, great opportunity! Go for it!”. Or a case of, “Wow, you are 19 and can make your own choices, but I’m concerned about your safety.” So far I’ve said both things!</p>
<p>I’d also send him for pre-trip vaccinations now and a doctor’s consult on what he might need to take in pill form (anti-malarial?) before and/or during the trip.</p>
<p>geogirl - we have let our teen travel abroad without us. She has gone with groups though.</p>
<p>However, hubby will not allow her to go to India period. I think he’s read too many books lately about human trafficking, but she’s his daughter too (not to mention a minor). We’ve always have gone with the notion if one parent has an extremely strong opinion - that opinion stands. I felt okay to wishy washy, so we’re going with him. </p>
<p>I don’t know if you can really allow or not allow your over 18 to go on trip for which you aren’t paying. I believe you can go look at the state department travel advisory website and look at it together. Sometimes kids don’t get that the world isn’t necessarily their oyster every second and not everywhere is as safe as we’d like.</p>
<p>The fall back was Peru - and now he won’t be letting her go there either. </p>
<p>She may be in for a long boring summer with us, taking online classes and going to the beach.</p>
<p>Yes, if he is traveling in India outside of the normal business hotels, then he may need to take even more vaccinations than I just had to take for a trip to India. I had vaccinations for Hep A, IPV (polio), Tdap (The Tdap vaccine protects against diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis (whooping cough)), and an oral pill for Typhoid, in addition to malaria pills to take before/during/after the trip and an emergency stash of antibiotics.</p>
<p>In my city the main hospital has an international travel clinic that many students and business people use … it costs between $200 - $300 for all the vaccinations.</p>
<p>Thanks snowflake, eyemamom and mathinokc- If it was a group tour or something like that I would have no reservations. Because they are planning it out themselves (aka, winging it) I have more concerns. Thank you for the great tip about the vaccinations. I will mention to him that he needs to do that now. Maybe we can offer to pay for that. I don think it is so exciting, but I am also very concerned for his safety. I already told him to stay away from alcohol, drugs and women! The laws are so different I don’t want to think something in no big deal,when it really is a big deal.</p>
<p>If I was accused of smoking pot and had never done it, I would volunteer a drug test. If I had walked into a room just before some others were busted in that room, I would let people know where I had been and find someone who could verify that. If my kid was accused and able/willing to do both of those things, I would fight like hell against those sanctions.</p>
<p>Yes, your S should go to India - it’s life changing on its own and will be incredible with a friend who has local connections. We were just there and it felt extremely safe. (Local women are victims of unspeakable misogyny, but this will not affect your son.) Because we recently went to Kenya, we needed only the polio booster and the malaria meds. But even with all the shots it is well worth it - we’ve been all over the world and it is a true travel highlight, like entering a more colorful and fascinating realm, both culturally and aesthetically.</p>
<p>Well, sure, <em>we</em> would make a fuss if we were falsely accused, but an 18-year-old kid might not, especially if the only way to do it was to give more evidence about who was really to blame for the forbidden items. So we don’t really know. Being on some sort of probation certainly gives the kid an excuse to tell everyone that he absolutely cannot have any of that stuff around him or in his room now, though, without appearing hopelessly square, or whatever it’s called these days.</p>
<p>I can’t think why they would preferentially turn kids under 21 over to the police for having pot. Except maybe that’s the legal age now in WA and CO.</p>
<p>neuroticparent – I am envious of all your travels! One of my goals for when I’m an empty nester (after my D2015 goes off to college) is to do more travelling.</p>
<p>She got an email last week from the supervisor of her JPL internship last summer saying, “Please let me know at your earliest convenience if you’d like to come back this summer feel free to call to figure out what R&D we need to do here at the lab and whether it matches up with what you want to do.” </p>
<p>She hasn’t called him because she has applied for some other stuff (summer school, on-campus research opportunities, private-sector summer jobs) and is worried that he’ll be mad if he finds out. She does not believe me when I tell her that its NORMAL and EXPECTED that she’ll apply for other jobs – especially with the government funding situation so uncertain.</p>
<p>How do I get it into her head that she is not being disloyal by pursuing more than one opportunity at a time?!</p>
<p>Tell her that it’s the same as applying to many colleges. Nothing is guaranteed and just the way employers select from a pool of potential employees, there’s no reason that she shouldn’t be able to choose between several jobs. She can also use a job offer as a psychic “safety” - if she’s not as hungry, she’s more likely to get the offer she really wants. At any rate, she should be flattered that somebody wants her, especially in this market!</p>
<p>^^
We went to India as our empty nest kick-off trip. I’m neurotic about college admissions, but not about travel.</p>
<p>I’m looking forward to getting back to a traveling life after youngest leaves home. We settled down so the lads would have a hometown, and while we traveled with them as we had funds (49 states, eastern half of Canada, they’ve been to a couple of other countries on trips), I’m a nomad and am itching to be moving on - living a traveling lifestyle.</p>
<p>Anyone know of anyone in the market for a 23 acre farm w/house, barn, outbuildings, fencing, pond, woods, creek, etc all for probably 450K (house could use a bit of updating)? It was a great place to raise boys… and I’ll probably miss it sometime later on, but, as stated, I’m a nomad. I was made to wander the planet. We’ve been here since oldest started kindergarten… way too long for my genetics, but what we felt was best for them (and they do appreciate it).</p>
<p>India sounds like a great place to start, but we’ll probably head Caribbean or South Pacific Islands.</p>
<p>We have started a vacation savings account and plan a big trip when my hs junior goes to college. We plan a one month trip in February - to a warmer location! These gray clouds, rain and dreary weather is not for me.</p>
<p>So it’s time for housing and schedules! Do you feel nervous over the scheduling? To me it seems it’s pretty self explanatory once S had his major, minor and cluster chosen.</p>
<p>One thing to note for hurry’s kid is that this likely will not be a proceeding with “due process”, and that it is likely a one bite at the apple type thing. That said, hurry, tell your son that if he is lying, more experienced people will be able to figure that out. When I practiced law, and I noticed certain things when I thought someone was lying - the story is not consistent, they seem agitated, maybe sweating, too insistent on what their excuse was, etc. If there are not hard facts, the person deciding if testimony is true has the ability to decide that they think someone lied. If he is innocent, certainly don’t say he is not, but often it is better to admit error, and sincerely offer to repent for a reduced punishment. JMHO, YMMV, and practical not “legal” advice. Sorry that this happened. Good luck.</p>
<p>Eyemamom - we like spending Feb (the whole month + a few days since it’s a short month) in Hawaii… With youngest in high school, we haven’t been able to go (anywhere in Feb) for a few years and I have serious withdrawals. I’m glad the month is over and we only have one more to get through before we can spend it in a sunny location again. (FL, LA also work - we’ve had to stay US in the past so hubby could continue work, but we did vary locations. HI was just our favorite.) Feb elsewhere worked when we were homeschooling.</p>
<p>For us with the empty nest, we’re seriously thinking of putting a Caribbean map on the wall and throwing a dart. It sounds fun.</p>
<p>D called last night to say her scheduling time for 3rd quarter is terrible and everything is just about gone. She is guaranteed chem 2 and bio 2 plus both labs because she is chem major/premed, but can’t find much for a 3rd class. Accounting is full, but she thought she would email the prof for wait-list priority. She is not a reader/writer so euro history, which is available, is not something she wants. She also doesn’t want to repeat a lower Spanish or Psych 1 (AP 5). Very frustrating.</p>
<p>I suggested she sign up for 2, watch how the signup goes tonight to see if something is added/open and see her advisor ASAP tomorrow to find a third class. He may be able to help her get into somthing that is full.</p>
With youngest in high school, we haven’t been able to go (anywhere in Feb) for a few years and I have serious withdrawals. I’m glad the month is over and we only have one more to get through before we can spend it in a sunny location again. (FL, LA also work - we’ve had to stay US in the past so hubby could continue work, but we did vary locations. HI was just our favorite.) Feb elsewhere worked when we were homeschooling.</p>