<p>Hello all-just wanting to vent for a minute. A refresher…S had RM issues last year when he was in a quad so he moved in February to another quad. The stress level decreased dramatically although they were an odd bunch. Everyond kind of did their own thing and barely spoke to each other. Really not bad but not exactly comfortable either. Not the ideal dorm experience you would envision.</p>
<p>When signing up for housing this year S decided to go with a random RM again. He learned a lot last year: communication is key, respect one another, be considerate, blah, blah, blah. Now before we go further, let it be said that he made his share of mistakes with the first group as well, was partially to blame for the lack of communication and trying to resolve the situation. This year with only one RM and twice the space you would think easy peasy…</p>
<p>S has been trying really hard but this dude he is living with is getting slightly irritating. First off they still need to get a RM agreement down on paper with the RA. They have been there almost a month. RM has been spending most of his time on the futon we bought. S would have to ask him to scoot over so he could sit there. S has asked one time to watch something on the TV RM brought and that almost didn’t go over well with the RM. Bear in mind the TV is on S’s TV stand and he has been using S’s video game console to watch Netflix on (often). RM has started this week turning the main light on in the bedroom after S has fallen alseep. S has an 8 a.m. class 4 days a week. RM has not cleaned anything. S ends up taking the trash down the hall because evidentally the RM does not see a need to do it. RM has at least once gone thru S’s desk drawer to get something when S wasn’t there to ask. And the topper-RM has been eating S’s food. Not cool.</p>
<p>S went into this knowing that they do not need to be best friends but just good roommates to each other. I do feel he is trying and all of these issues are small issues, but when they are adding up together and increasing-it will start to be a problem. These are just the things S knows about. </p>
<p>Seriously-just want my S to have some good memories of living in a dorm and being able to look back years from now with a little fondness for the time he spent there. But the total lack of consideration for others is stinking up another year for S. He is starting to get stressed and worry that it will end up the same as last year and it really sucks.</p>
<p>Hoping the RA will get with them soon to get the RM agreement in place. Maybe this guy is just oblivious on the courteousness that RM’s should bestow on one another. Once he sees where it can become a problem, maybe he will be enlightened.</p>
<p>(Waiver-I know my S is no angel and can be irritating in his own way and I am only hearing his side of the story. I do take that into account but really-I don’t think what he is upset about is unrealistic).</p>
<p>Thank you for your shoulders to lean on as I vented away…the only hope is RM is rushing. Maybe he will be out of there soon. I don’t even know how that works. If they rush in the fall and get into a house, when do they move in? This semester? Next? Next year??</p>
<p>Geogirl, that’s pretty cool about the TA job. Sounds like a good situation.</p>
<p>NervousNellie, I think those are all fairly minor annoyances and hopefully the RA can help them work those things out. There are so many worse kinds of RM situations- I think they just have to learn some mutual consideration and tolerance. Last year my son’s RM was a really nice guy who son liked a lot, but RM had a girlfriend who was around almost constantly and often slept in RM’s bed, so sometimes my son would wake up and see her sleeping a few feet away from him - kind of an invasion of privacy at such close quarters. But son just stuck it out and made sure he got someone this year who he knows is nice but has no girlfriend, lol. Good luck with that. Somehow I don’t think they move mid-year if they rush- that would create so many housing issues for the university- but I’m not sure.</p>
<p>Well DD launched to school on labor day weekend. We live in a college town, so it was kind of funny to be driving out of town in our packed to the gills SUV against the long line of traffic driving in to town with their packed to the gills SUVs. </p>
<p>DD has been to all of her classes a few times, did a little shuffling to trade a reading heavy course for an economics course, and is now happy with her schedule. Her first week was all auditions all the time. The a cappella group she is in held two 6 pm to 4 am audition sessions in a row, followed by a third night for callbacks. After they picked their a cappella newbies, DD had her own audition for the drama department musical. She is not a drama or music major, but happily ended up with one of the two roles she really wanted. The only drawback is that she dropped out of the equestrian team (her sister is the captain) because she does not have time to ride.</p>
<p>Her roommate has a boyfriend with a single, so DD often has the room to herself. She does not spend much time there, mostly uses it for studying, and hardly knows anyone on her hall. Big difference from last year when she practically lived in the common room. Here’s hoping it all stays happy!</p>
<p>Haha, Mihcal1, I thought of that as I was typing :). However son is good at getting a “read” on people and does not think it will be an issue with this RM, at least not the serious, becoming-a-3rd-RM-in-thimble-sized-dorm-room kind of GF. He said there are the serious relationship types and then there are guys more like him who are still enjoying hanging out in mixed groups of guys/girls and not getting serious. But yes, things can change quickly, as we all know!</p>
<p>Took our S back three weeks ago, and then stayed in the area for a week because we had tickets to the first home football game. Was so nice to meet all his friends and meet many of the parents, too. </p>
<p>He’s got a busy semester - Discrete Mathematics; Analytic Math/Differential Calc; Physics/Thermodynamics & Lab; an Electrical Engineering class & Lab; a Fundamentals of Computing class; Logic and Design; Theology; and Piano performance. He’s working about 12 hours a week (he works the 10PM-2AM shift) and is continuing on the sailing team, the boxing club and joined the robotics team. I did ask him if he ever planned to sleep! </p>
<p>We may have the first break-up of this year. He and the GF he’s had since junior year of HS made it all through their freshman year at different schools, and all summer together. When they went back to school, they had a long talk. They decided that they both really cared about each other, but they were in different places right now (not only geographically), and if they wanted to continue liking each other and being friends, it would be best if they weren’t dating right now. He was very matter of fact about it and felt like they’d really made the best decision. </p>
<p>He’s actively looking for internships for next summer and has gone to a few recruiting meetings. He is also hoping to get in to the Engineering Abroad program for next year. So far, so good!</p>
<p>Hope everyone else is having a good start to sophomore year. Remember to get your flu shots, if you’re so inclined. There have already been several confirmed cases of flu in our local H.S.! It seems an early start to the flu season!</p>
<p>Difficult start for D2 this year. She broke up with her BF right before she went back to school. A week into school, my father passed away very unexpectedly. She was very close to my father and mother. Aside from her own sadness about my father, it is hard for her to see my mother being so sad. She is also living with someone who she doesn’t really care for in her sorority. The room is tiny and the girl is not very considerate. With all that’s going on, we haven’t been paying that much attention to her, so that didn’t help much either. This Fri H and I decided to drive up to see her to spend some quality time with her. She seem to be plowing through life. She loves her courses this semester. Her advisor for her special program seem very knowledgeable of her interest. There seem to be a new list of boy interest. yes, we did our annual thing of getting flu shot together.</p>
<p>((oldfort)) I’m so sorry to hear about your father. It’s never a good time, being unexpected is even worse. I know it’s hard for her being away, I hope you all enjoyed your time together this weekend.</p>
<p>Nellie - I’m sorry the roommate situation isn’t better this year. We want this perfect experience for our kids so I think it’s almost harder on us than them. </p>
<p>I’m assuming no news is good news from my S. We texted this week when I told him I bought tickets for Jim Gaffigan over winter break. He’s a comedian we all really like and he’s clean so I don’t have to cringe sitting next to my kids. The room in his suite is super small, luckily he’s with a good friend who is also pretty laid back. I hope they can keep up the friendship after living in such tight quarters.</p>
<p>My sympathies on the loss of your father, oldfort. It’s a difficult time for your family, I hope the visit helped everyone. Take care of yourselves.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear about your father, oldfort. There is never a good time, but there certainly are some really bad ones. I hope you and your family are doing ok, <<<>>></p>
<p>Geogirl - glad to hear your D has settled in. They had so many triples this year due to an unexpectedly high yield. They are supposed to be making housing better next year by making admissions tougher. I feel for those applying this year.</p>
<p>Nellie - I hope the rm situation is able to be resolved. I agree that we feel it a bit mainly because we want our kids to all have great experiences. It’s frustrating when that doesn’t happen.</p>
<p>I bought my guy’s Christmas plane ticket today while the rate was still $90. It’s non-stop and definitely less expensive than driving.</p>
<p>Question for everyone… if you had received really unexpected either “bad” or “not-so-bad” (not “good”) news medically would you share with your college kid or wait a month until after you knew if it was in the “bad” or “not-so-bad” category? The wait is intentional. I don’t want to know the “final” results until after college visits with youngest next month. Middle son will be joining us for fall break. Do I tell him now, at fall break, or make a decision in a month after I know more?</p>
<p>I’m torn. I’m not even sure which way I would want the news if I were in his position. If it ends up “bad” I’d want it now. If “not-so-bad” waiting would be ok and would save a bit of stress on his part. He is VERY busy this semester with freshmen, clubs, his lab job, his work study job, a dance troupe, and two lab classes along with his other classes. Stress is not helpful, but if “bad” I wouldn’t want him to feel left out of the news from the beginning.</p>
<p>I have to decide for both middle and oldest (just married this summer and finishing his senior year plus working at a business he started).</p>
<p>Creekland - my fingers are crossed for “not so bad” news. You know your kids best, some may feel offended if you didn’t share the info right away, but I am in the camp of not saying anything until I have all the info.</p>
<p>Mine are crossed for “not so bad” too , but I honestly don’t know that it will be the case. “Good” was ruled out this past week. More testing will have to determine the rest. I have no idea what the “odds” are nor would anyone else - this isn’t exactly a “common” major medical issue.</p>
<p>A new chapter is beginning. A short chapter? Doubtful. The last chapter? Hopefully not…</p>
<p>((Creek)) I did PM you, and I certainly hope for the best situation of all. Unless you can’t possibly not tell them, I’d vote for not telling them until they know what to worry about.</p>
<p>My mgr was recently dx’d with a scary disease and as it’s evolved looked into further it seems more manageable than at first. It is a LOT to process and what I remind him, it isn’t your job right now to make anyone else feel better or educate them. You are allowed whatever privacy you need.</p>
<p>Creekland, I would probably wait to know for sure what I was dealing with before involving my kids in order to offer more concrete information. Perhaps you could let MS know what you’re up against over fall break so he doesn’t feel left out, but also doesn’t have as long to stress if it’s the “not so bad” result. How often do you see OS, and are you waiting to tell YS? Also hoping for “not so bad”!</p>
<p>Nellie – can your son approach the RA to get the RM agreement signed instead of waiting for him to initiate?</p>
<p>Creekland - sorry to hear about your medical difficulties. Hoping for the best of news for you. If I was in the same situation, I would wait to tell my kids. I would want to have more info about the problem and possible treatments, and also just to give myself time to process the info. Hopefully, this time would allow me to come to terms with whatever the results were so I could relay the info to them without causing too much alarm. This is me, it may not be you. You should do what you feel is best for you and your family, but I do hope you have someone with whom you can confide in.</p>
<p>Sorry for your loss, Oldfort. I wish you and your family peace.</p>
<p>Creekland - Wishing for the best news possible. Having lived through two different major medical “issues”, I would say do what you think is best. However, once you share, you have to tell them the truth and keep them informed. It is critical that your kids feel that they can trust what you and your DH say. It will bring them piece of mind. They will always worry, but they need to understand the situation in real terms so they don’t “over worry” or worry when they shouldn’t. They need to be able to trust you when you say, “it is fine for now”. If you mislead them even once, they won’t trust you and will be cronically worrying. So, whatever you do, when you tell them, say it gently, but don’t sugar coat it or mislead them. My husband was pretty gentle with my kids, but he was always truthful and I think that allowed them to process the information but still have a childhood. I send you the very best wishes as you begin this journey.</p>
yes, we did our annual thing of getting flu shot together.</p>
, but I honestly don’t know that it will be the case. “Good” was ruled out this past week. More testing will have to determine the rest. I have no idea what the “odds” are nor would anyone else - this isn’t exactly a “common” major medical issue.</p>