<p>Creekland, best wishes to you and enjoy your travels. Regarding the car, I think we’re leaning towards buying my husband a new car and giving his 6-year-old car to our son. I will feel a lot safer if he is driving that one as it runs great and has some of the newer safety features.</p>
<p>Sounds like a plan, bookmouse. I like the idea of your S getting a car with better safety features.</p>
<p>Creekland, enjoy your trip. Crossing my fingers for good news.</p>
<p>D2 told me today that she is able to enjoy school more now. Her course load sounds brutal. We are looking forward to seeing her over mid term break. </p>
<p>H and I were resisting on having a car in NYC, but in order to be able to get out to see my mom on weekends we decided to get a car. My mom offered to sell her very low mileage old Mercedes to us very cheaply. This car is a tank. H is embarrassed driving it. He said we need rims or we look like old fuddy duddies. I reminded him that we are old fuddy duddies.</p>
<p>I am particularly worried about my D today. She is badly overloaded with too many hard classes plus a huge volunteer commitment. This Friday is the deadline to drop a class without it appearing on her transcript. We talked about her options last weekend, but it’s up to her to make up her mind what to do. I’m just hoping she will be proactive and make a deliberative decision, and doesn’t just stick her head in the sand and miss that deadline.</p>
<p>worry … worry … worry … worry … worry …</p>
<p>mihcal1-have you talked to her about it since last weekend? Is there a way you can gently remind her that Friday is right around the corner.</p>
<p>There is absolutely nothing wrong with making your life managable in fact that is a smart thing to do. So-in order to enjoy her time there and feel she is doing her best, dropping a course really makes sense.</p>
<p>Good luck- (worrying is tough but we all do it so well)…</p>
<p>I posted the following on another thread but thought I’d keep you up to date:
"After only 5 weeks of school this year, my S moved to a different dorm yesterday. It started with just a total lack of consideration and disregard for my S’s belongings (he used whatever he wanted) and food (ate whatever he wanted) and in 5 weeks has escalated to RM threatening to damage something that belonged to S. Where will it stop or would it continue to escalate to physical harm. S decided not to stick around to find out. There were other reasons that the RA and hall director were aware of. They were able to make the move happen in one day.</p>
<p>I feel like for the first time since S has lived on campus-last year and this year, he finally has a chance to have the college experience you think of and is in a good place. He is now with people who are more like him and not total opposites."</p>
<p>Now-there is seriously no way I would have ever guessed my S would feel he needed to move two years in a row. I guess when you go to such a big school, there really is a big chance you will get someone totally incombatible to live with. He is now in a single but with in a cluster so now he has suitemates(?). This has really got to be it… Now next year when he moves off campus, he will have the chance to find the right fit before he moves in instead of being randomly assigned.</p>
<p>Mihcal1, I hear you on the heavy course load. I guess my D has no thought of dropping a course, but she is stressed and worried. What’s the worst that happen though? A few bad grades would be painful to endure but not that important in the long run. Some reevaluation might be in order, but that’s life. The load is truly brutal though.</p>
<p>What about taking one of those classes for pass/fail. D2 also has a brutal course load. She has one course which is taking up a lot of her time, she asked me and her advisor whether it would make sense to take it as P/F. Her advisor and I both told her to go ahead. She is much happier now.</p>
<p>NervousNellie1 – when I spoke with her this past weekend, she promised to call this Thursday (before the deadline!) and let me know what she’s decided to do. In return, I promised not to bug her in the meantime.</p>
<p>oldfort – the classes are all required for her one or the other of the two majors she’s considering, so must all be taken for a letter grade. If she drops a class, she can make it up in summer school, to stay on track for 4-year graduation. Not that big a deal, as she was most likely going to stay at school next summer anyway.</p>
<p>Nellie - it sounds like a good move! It’s far better to enjoy college (IMO) than try to put up with someone who won’t change (as a roommate).</p>
<p>Mihcal - I hope things work out well with your D. It can be difficult for youngsters (anyone really) to truly “see” options when they are deep in the midst of it all.</p>
<p>Oldfort - glad D2 is enjoying things more.</p>
<p>Bookmouse - the car decision you’ve made sounds ideal.</p>
<p>PN - glad your guy(s?) are doing well and enjoying themselves. You have a junior? My youngest is a senior this year. It’s our last round now. I think I’m happy about that actually. I may feel differently when he leaves next summer/fall.</p>
<p>Anothermom - I hope your D is feeling better - or might be able to also “see” an option that would make things truly better (perhaps a move?).</p>
<p>I haven’t been here in a while. Oldfort, I’m sorry for your loss. Creekland, my thoughts are with you. </p>
<p>Not too much to report here. DS seems to be thriving at school.</p>
<p>DD called today - closing in on a decision for a major. She needs to declare in March. Any others out there not yet decided on a major?</p>
<p>Nellie - at least it’s early enough in the year to just change and move on and settle in while it’s all new. Here’s hoping this one sticks. It’s hard to relax at home if you know your kid isn’t happy. </p>
<p>Not a lot of news here either, like everyone else, he’s busy with classwork and he’s learning how to manage his time. Usually we call him on Sundays for a check in. He actually called home yesterday to share some news about some classes that are going well. His hard work is paying off. </p>
<p>He comes home next weekend for 4 days for break. Last year this time I was practically putting x’s on the calendar marking it down. This year it’s a more casual - oh good, I get to see him!</p>
<p>Well D1 (my senior) is home this weekend. Hooray! Next weekend is parents weekend and we are going since D2 is singing. Also taking a pack of kids out to dinner (fewer parents show up after freshman year). D2 is also worrying about her course load. She has 5 classes and will have close to 20 hours per week of rehearsals once the department show starts rehearsing at the end of October. She has great time management skills, but some pretty intense classes this term. I asked about the P/F option, but she said it would not help since she will still feel compelled to do all the work to the best of her ability.</p>
<p>BTW for glido. D2 picked her major by going through the course offerings and marking all the classes she really wanted to take over the next four years. Then she matched it up to what major most closely fit her course list. I thought it was a little backwards from most, but actually quite ingenious. She has not declared yet because she is debating who to pick for a major advisor.</p>
<p>D had her first day of classes yesterday. She is seriously considering a major change and is taking 3 of the prerequisite courses for the new major this quarter. One professor her comment was " I could not understand a word he said". She is registered with the disabilities office and gets a note taker. Her comment was " I hope the note taker understands the professor".
Her focus this quarter is school, moving her horse along, two nanny jobs. She said social life is at the bottom of her list. But she is happy.</p>
<p>DS declared his major when he went back to school this Fall in Physics. He has a Physics lab this semester that is kicking everyone’s butts and he says people are re-thinking a Physics major. I asked “And you…” He said it is a ton of work but he is loving it and he will go into more detail when we Skype next. Phew - I thought he was going to have just declared and then change his mind! He also seems to have a work ethic I cannot imagine! He says if he doesn’t start his week on Sunday with a full day of working - he cannot make it through his week. “The Lab” is due every Wednesday. So he says he goes out on Friday nights but not Saturdays because he has so much to do!</p>
<p>My D has not declared yet. At the moment, she’s leaning toward a double major in psych and english. The term seems to be going well for her although she has 18 credits this term. She has 5 classes, 3 of which are 4 credits. In my experience (many moons ago!) it was more about the number of classes than the credits. She’s holding her own so far. Plus she got paid today, so we’re both happy. It’s a long stretch between that last pay check at home from the summer job and that first pay check at school! She made it though, with minimal assistance from me. </p>
<p>Every few weeks I’m sending her a few more things to help her make meals in her suite. This time when I grocery shop, I’ll get a muffin pan, cupcake papers and some boxed muffin mixes and send those to her. I’m slowly building up the types of pans she has. I figured she and the other 5 girls would have a variety of stuff between them, but they really don’t. One has a heart shaped baking pan though…lol. They have one cookie sheet (my D’s). It is funny to hear her. I’m going to send more glasses too. She said all but one of her drinking glasses (plastic tumblers) have disappeared. <em>sigh</em></p>
<p>2016Barnardmom- great Idea. My D loves to bake. I sent up muffin tin, cookie sheet and a cake pan for brownies. She said she would love a Kitchenaid mixer for a holiday gift. India she would use it but they are so costly.
My other two on the other hand would never have used any sort of bakeware.</p>
<p>My D called last night, as promised. She said she wasn’t going to drop any classes. She is determined to make it all work. I’m skeptical. She is racing to finish a major CS project due at midnight tonight, which is also when the drop window closes. I hope to she’ll call me tonight and tell me that either she got the project working (with all the bells and whistles) or else she’s dropped that class. </p>
<p>Part of the reason her schedule is so heavy is that she is considering two different engineering majors and is trying to complete all of the lower-division prerequisites for both. She is taking all STEM classes, including three time-intensive labs. Her current schedule has her butt-in-chair in class & discussion & labs for 29 hours per week. On top of that, she is spending 20+ hours per week on a huge volunteer responsibility (managing 20+ volunteers on an engineering-related project). So that’s at least 50 hours per week, before she has attended any office hours, started her first problem set, or written her first line of code. I just don’t see how that’s sustainable!</p>
<p>If she drops the CS class, she can make it up this summer. I think she’ll need to take summer school anyway, if she really wants to complete all the prereqs for both majors. There are also joint-major, major-minor, and double-major options. She has until the end of spring semester (after summer school registration) to declare what she wants to pursue.</p>
<p>“class & discussion & labs for 29 hours per week”</p>
<p>How many actual credit hours is she taking? The rule of thumb is that one spends 2 hours extra per every registered hour of class. So for a load of 15 hours, they are using up a total of 45 hours at a minimum while some classes become a huge drain on your time because the professors feel they are entitled to your time.</p>