<p>Jaylynn,</p>
<p>I’ll be thinking of your D as I take my 2015er to symphony rehearsal at USD on Tuesday. You know where to reach showmom and me if you ever need anything. </p>
<p>:-)</p>
<p>Morning! No word from DS since the Thursday call. Hoping he calls today with a good word or two( that he is making friends and figured out if he can handle or swap one of his classes, and that he hasn’t gotten sick)!</p>
<p>I have company for the holiday weekend so that does help keep my mind off of the kids!</p>
<p>I hope all of yesterday’s launches went as smoothly as Jaylynns!</p>
<p>9/01 jaylynn’s D, saintfan’s D, giterdone’s D, Mary13’s D, MAOnemom’s D</p>
<p>Deed is done!</p>
<p>DD’s launch was smooth as glass. We met 2 of 3 roomies parents, all seemed nice. It took about an hour and a half. DW and I went out afterwards for some bread pudding to help ward off melancholy :)</p>
<p>Got our first text from DD around 11:00 last night - All is well.</p>
<p>Feels like this “chapter” took a year!</p>
<p>Love hearing about all the successful launches :)</p>
<p>Swim, I hear ya on the wait for the elevators!</p>
<p>No communication from S :(, but D said he has declared his major and that his suitemate made him bacon and eggs and that they were good, lol.</p>
<p>eyeamom is right: I feel I am grasping for any bit of information.</p>
<p>Deck61: I told S1 that he couldn’t come home for a month after he started and we live an hour away. We would come down and take him to dinner if he wanted. He needed to adjust to life on campus, plus since we were paying for room and board, he could stay there. While it was tough the first few weekends, it paid off. He wandered the dorm looking to see who was around and made some long term good friends that way. D1 will follow the same plan.</p>
<p>I pick up D1 tomorrow from her pre-orientation trip. I think she will have missed hot water and real toilet paper the most, followed by her pillow-topped bed. Then back to school on Wednesday.</p>
<p>The “grasping for any bit of information” never changes. I understand from my daughter-in-law (married to S1) that S2 went to dinner with a new young woman the other night. It’s awkward pressing --her–for details.</p>
<p>MommyMommy- I think you nailed it–detached parenting begets attached parenting. I also think you are correct about the role feminism played. I remember my mom talking to me about how important it was that the E.R.A. pass. I don’t think she felt being a mother wasn’t important, or of value, but I do think her (and my dad’s) parenting style was a direct reaction of her own upbringing. My parents felt their parents were too restrictive. And that life in the suburbs was too homogenized. </p>
<p>eyemamom, Creekland- If I had to make a guess, it would be that when it comes to our kid’s generation–the pendulum will swing in the other direction. When I was a kid/young adult I was basically on autopilot. I didn’t start examining my childhood and making decisions about how I wanted to parent until just before I became a parent. I think most people probably operate in a similar fashion. And if that is the case, in the near future, our kids will probably examine whether or not they think they were given the appropriate amount of freedom to sink or swim. </p>
<p>I had to stop myself yesterday from texting my daughter to remind her (for the second time) to contact her employer about a schedule change she needs to make at her part-time job. She has been living in a big city all summer, working an internship and at the aforementioned part-time job. She doesn’t need my reminder. She is good to go. And… if she doesn’t make the call, she will have to deal with the consequence–not me. That is part of life. An important part of it. This is the message I need replay in my brain.</p>
<p>I don’t know…my parents “did” (coddled, managed etc) for me much the same as I do for my kids. I am, however, raising my kids with less guilt and more empathy.</p>
<p>What I find interesting and rewarding are those times my son will says something to indicate how he would handle a situation. He has said something like “I remember the way you (DAD) did xyz or like you mom, I would have spoken to my child in private”, so he credits and appreciates learning that method from us while we weren’t so focused on teaching it. </p>
<p>You never really know what goes in to your kids that you didn’t deliberately try to instill in them but because you consistently responded in a particular way those responses became a comfortable technique to approach problems.</p>
<p>disneygals, Oh, I don’t think this applies to everyone. I was interested in how 1970s/1980s latchkey kids, were raising their kids.</p>
<p>Just back from a 3-day orientation for both students and parents! D has settled in nicely and we continue to communicate regularly through texting. </p>
<p>It’s impossible to keep up with this thread! Are we still doing embarrassing parent stories? At one of the early orintation sessions, a q&a for parents, one parent remarked that she was impressed by the healthy choices in the dining hall then asked them to remove the sign that says “save room for dessert” because the school shouldn’t be encouraging sweets. At least her son/daughter wasn’t there to cringe! Another parent was very impatient and chose to ignore the hand-raising protocol stating “I need to ask my question NOW!” LOL…I left this session early or I’d probably have more!</p>
<p>Travis Roy spoke at the convocation. He is the BU hockey player who, 16 years ago, was paralyzed 11 seconds into his first game as a freshman. Very powerful!!</p>
<p>She’s in, I’m back, and all seems well! Move-in was smooth as silk-- dorm room with big window, lots of light, little view toward the center of campus, feels like a cozy little town. Roommate is lovely, bathroom sparkling, food delicious. She was hanging around with a group of kids who seemed very alcohol-centric…detached herself, ended up with dance majors and spent hours happily talking. Like Jaylynn’s daughter (hi Jaylynn!! Congrats on a happy launch!) she is very attached to home and to mom-- we were both expecting real sadness, but the first 48 hours have been fine. As she said “Well, you’re right there by cell phone whenever I want you…” </p>
<p>On the down side-- her purse was stolen at midnight the night before we were to leave at 6am. She was tearfully hugging her mentor when some creep saw an opportunity. Money, ID, a book that was priceless to her-- all gone, and then chat with the police so we barely got to sleep… blechhh. </p>
<p>But that’s in the past— a good 4 years seems to be in the future!</p>
<p>giterdone, congrats on the smooth transition! I hear it was a beautiful day in St. Paul. My D, already settled in for four days, couldn’t get over the sheer number of new arrivals—wondered how they were all going to fit on campus! I hope you took advantage of the free massages for parents. ;)</p>
<p>boysx3 - whats new on neighbor boy’s saga?</p>
<p>For those of you gaining much of your kid’s info from their sibling - that is a really good thing! You brought your kids up to be a tight family and they are using what you taught them, you won’t be around forever. Let their relationship move to the next level, their sibling probably has more to offer as far as advice as well. It is nice that the informed child shares some miscellany with you and I’m sure, anything really important will also be passed on. Repeat - this is a good thing!</p>
<p>Wow - parents massage during orientation? I actually had to go back to the list and see where giterdone and Mary13 were sending their kids to college. All I can say is, University of St. Thomas has now risen to the top of my HS sophomore’s college list! ;)</p>
<p>I was a latchkey kid and loved it. But as a separate issue, I know I felt really lost when picking where to apply to college and where to attend. I wish my parents had had conversations with me to help me figure out what I really wanted to pursue and where I felt comfortable. I was left on my own decide, even though I told them I felt like I didn’t know what to do, and was clueless and made a poor choice. I’m sure that’s a big reason why I got so involved in the college search. I did put a lot of energy into searching for colleges, taking them on visits to all kinds of schools, understanding the application process, and having conversations about what they thought they wanted, what else is out there, what they might want to study, etc. Conversations that were meant to get them to do some introspection more than tell them what I thought. And I must say, I’m really happy with where they’ve each ended up.</p>
<p>DS has been keeping in touch with us via text and about one or two calls a week. We texted him when we went to our favorite Indian restaurant yesterday, sent him a picture of our favorite dishes on the table and said we missed him. He texted back that he was out with friends watching the first Miami football game. He just texted this morning saying he was heading down to south beach! It’s more light hearted fun stuff. </p>
<p>He did tell me he brought his computer to IT to load all the Miami stuff up (something he should have done during orientation, but didn’t for whatever reason). The hurricane hit, they closed IT, and he didn’t have his computer for a few days and missed his first chemistry assignment. I silently freaked out thinking this is college and you don’t have that many assignments, but calmly mentioned he might want to let the Prof know what happened. He did and she said, “The assignment is worth 10 points out of 1000 during the class. Don’t do that again.” Hoping he learned his lesson, and he won’t do that again!</p>
<p>We are adjusting to home life with 4 of us instead of 5. We keep moving around seats at the dinner table as a kind of fun way to figure out family life without our whole family! Next year will be much worse when DD13 goes off and it is just 3 of us at home. Not sure how I will find the motivation to actually cook!</p>
<p>My mom worked, but was usually home by the time we got home from school or as we got older within a few hours. I had a great childhood, but it was more “parent centered than kid centered”. We were given plenty of freedom to roam. My parents did not check homework or get that involved in anything we did. They were there more for support than to “do”. I became a SAHM when our youngest was 18 months old. I have enjoyed being around for my kids, but I have also tried to give them room to grow and not smother them. So far they seem to think they have a great life! Let’s see what they think as they get older.</p>
<p>So happy to hear about the smooth launches Jaylynn and GF!!! So happy for your gals:-)</p>
<p>DS is in WA… only 500 more miles to go… made my plane reservations to fly to Seattle to pick him up… I am beyond excited!!!</p>
<p>Wow 5boys! When do you fly out to pick him up?</p>