<p>amtc, that is great news!!! I think working things out is the best thing in the world for these kids-- whether it’s how to address an envelope (lol) or how rearrange a class schedule or how to deal with an upset roommate. Every trouble resolved is confidence boost and makes it easier to face the next hurdle. </p>
<p>D called last night, saying she was homesick for her life here but she loves, loves her school. We talked about it, all the new friends, different work, logistical troubles, and I felt I could hear her maturity and capability. I can’t say enough for the school-- she has learned more in this one week, and had more opportunities, than I could have imagined. And the friendliness and inclusiveness, after a very different experience in high school-- she’s tired, but also just thrilled, and I am too.</p>
<p>notakid, sorry to hear about your S friend. </p>
<p>Things are going well on our front. I know that S is sleep-deprived, and that pledgeship is hard, but he is glad that he is doing it. He is not joining a lot of clubs until he is an active because he knows himself. He is regretting not taking bio and chem, but loves his classes. I am glad he didn’t take both this year, but don’t know how it will affect his future goals.
I know he is still homesick at times (because his gf told us) but I am hoping it just gets better.</p>
<p>Am I the only one that really dislikes hearing how “tired” their kid is all the time? Talked to him today and he doing well but is frustrated that he can’t sleep-in because his room is so bright (I sent window treatments but mail room is backed up so he hasn’t picked them up yet) and he doesn’t get to sleep until 3 am because well, it’s a dorm! He sounded so darn grumpy.</p>
<p>Of course, he got frustrated with me because I kept asking him if he was “ok” to which he proceeded to tell me that I’m making a bigger deal out of it than necessary - probably true!!
He did tell me he stayed in last night because he was so exhausted after going out during the week because " it was the first week of school". Gee, that’s nice-just what I wanted to hear…</p>
<p>I really do hope he can sleep more when his room is darker. He is NOT a kid that can just go and go with limitless energy. He even commented on how some kids can just keep going (hanging out, going to class, doing school work, constantly talking and socializing) without needing “down time”- think he is feeling a little bad that he can’t do that and requires some alone time. </p>
<p>My kids also need a lot of alone time. The biggest adjustment is having people around all the time. D2 said she’ll not answer the door sometimes when she is working in her room. We got both of our kids a pair of Bose earphones so they could block out some noise when they want to sleep. D2 lucked out that her hall is very quiet. D1 wasn’t so lucky. Her next door neighbor was very loud and would have people over late at night.</p>
<p>D2 is well into her classes now. She has few exams and papers due next week. She said her professors seem to like her writing. She turned in her first Spanish homework and got 2/15 right. As she is fluent in Spanish, she didn’t think it was possible. She went to see her professor and found out it was a computer glitch. It mismatched her answers. It gave her a good opportunity to connect with her Spanish professor.</p>
<p>D2 has a group of kids she is hanging out with now, a nice mix of girls/boys. It’s a plus one of those guys have a car, so they do their grocery shopping on weekends.</p>
<p>Last week my son was exhausted when we talked to him. He also said the dorm was loud, but pn’s son says it isn’t. Chalk it up to our country lifestyle - we live in a quiet, dark place. He also said he’s sick of pizza - he’s eating it a lot because the cafeteria is crowded and he doesn’t like to wait.</p>
<p>dwhite - I had to talk to myself all week going between worrying about his getting sick if he’s exhausted and not eating well and trying to help him figure out how to sleep better and overnight him a steak - to realizing - okay, when it bothers him enough he’ll figure something out. </p>
<p>My son also needs a lot of down time and quiet time. I just so “happened” to notice his roomate was talking about hanging out in the room a lot this weekend because of the rain, and homework- and I know s was used to having the place to himself. </p>
<p>In a way that isn’t surprising to me, hubby is really missing his boy. I keep telling him there is no limit on how often we’re “allowed” to be in touch. If a quick conversation would make him feel better - then call! Hubby will talk about it today with him.</p>
<p>My S hasn’t mentioned anything about sleep or being tired so I am just going to roll with it. I would imagine when he comes home for holidays or an overnight thing, I am just going to let him sleep as long as he needs to. When he came home from a 9 day long mock government thing (Buckeye Boys State) I think he slept until 3 the next day. They had to be up very early every day and they stayed in dorms at Bowling Green University (Ohio).</p>
<p>I have been putting off shopping because we did so much of it lately. With shopping for college stuff and me teaching him how to drive-we seemed to end up at one mall or another. Makes me sad to not have him go with me. Don’t get me wrong-there were plenty of times he didn’t go, but that was his choice-now it is because he can’t. Anyway-his birthday is at the end of the month so I have to get cracking! It was a nice surprise when he texted me when I was shopping. I actually finally bought a pair of pants for me to wear with some boots I got last year. So that is my “me” moment. Took the time to try them on and everything.</p>
<p>eyeamom-I definitely agree. What amount of contact your family has with each other may be different than other families. There are no rules. And I am a firm believer in having less un-needed stress in my life so if I can’t take it anymore-I will contact S. We actually have had more contact this week than the 2 whole weeks before. I do find myself “saving” things for other conversations. Why get it all out in one conversation?? We were/are very close so I am not going to feel bad about maintaining contact. It is much better than the alternative.</p>
<p>The biggest thing I learned this week? DO NOT, under any circumstances try to go to the Ohio State campus on game day. Even if all you are doing is picking up your son. I have never been down there on game day. Ended up having to cancel his appointment and it took me an hour to get home-normally 1/2 of that. Now I know why parent/family weekend is scheduled on an away game day!!</p>
<p>My S called! Yay. He chatted up a storm, at least in response to my purposefully open-ended questions, but did report that he had a cold. He’s been busy joining this and that and attended a party on Saturday. His friends are posting FB photos of him in his new state of leisure and he looks happy. He gave us a short list of things to bring for family weekend and also thanked me for the chocolates I sent, which he shared with his dorm. Aww. AND, he did use the writing center to give him pointers on his first writing draft before it was due. I think he gets a BINGO letter! Only negative report was that he is tiring of the same food so has started to wander into other dining options that still take his food swipe, which is not a bad thing. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, back on the empty nest front, my H and dog and I continue to get into middle age healthy shape. Two weeks of long hikes 4-5 times a week and already my pants are more loose! </p>
<p>p.s. 5boys … one of his new upper classmen friends that is part of the Outdoor club is also a tutor/helper at the writing center. WINNING!</p>
<p>D doing great and doing things she’s never had to do for herself. Reserved practice rooms for violin. Set up first violin lesson with teacher in Manhattan. Applied for student job (went for childcare, somewhat to our surprise).</p>
<p>So many interesting results from our launches. Many good launches, and even the few that weren’t good on the initial drop off are working it out in good ways. I’m proud of us as a whole that our kids are taking that next step and we are sitting back and watching them grow, even if it’s a little sad for us sometimes. </p>
<p>Notakid, isn’t it funny what we learn about our kid’s preferences once they’re in college?</p>
<p>notakid: Sounds like our daughters may be working together although it isn’t a surprise to me because mine has been doing child care for years now. There are several positions she is interested in on campus too. She was originally considering doing Barnard Bartenders. We’ll see if she still does that.</p>
<p>Happy Monday everyone! Sounds like our kids are are settling in, and most of us are transitioning well to the new normal. Here’s a big hug to anyone out there not posting but feeling sad about the change, or whose S or D is still having trouble or doubts about fitting into their college. Feel free to post and get some sympathy/support!</p>
<p>I had a chance to talk to both S’s this weekend. S’16 is changing a class - he decided the Physics class he’s in isn’t a good fit, so he’s going to switch out. And S’14 called to say a conflict with the class he is TAing and a club he enjoys has been resolved, so he can do both now. Yay. All seems well. </p>
<p>And hey - they’ll both be home for fall break in less than a month!</p>
<p>Had a chance to “hear” my son last night. He has a radio show with an upperclassman and it streams on the web, so H and I listened in! They sounded like they were having fun, they played some interesting music and they took our request (sent anonymously through the radio station’s website!) So do I gain or lose a point for checking in this way?
He did call quickly this past week to let us know that he’s on the sailing team! (something he has always wanted to do since he learned to sail in Boy Scouts) - and to tell us he’s joined the swing dance club (he said it’s fun and his classical ballet training actually comes in handy - I’m sure it will help with all the lifts.) He also starts concert band rehearsals, has been taking piano lessons and organized a group of guys from his dorm to go rock climbing once a week. So…my questions are when is he going to class , doing school work and finding a campus job???
My H said that if our S knew how great college was going to be, he might have finished high school early and we could have saved ourselves all the drama and “nest fouling” we had this past year!</p>
<p>I found out yesterday that my son’s roommate went home for the weekend for the funeral of of one of his best friends’. The boy had taken his own life. Naturally, RM and his family are devastated. I am praying for solace for all who were touched by this tragedy and I sincerely hope that my son, who is not a communicative or empathetic type of guy, can be a comfort to his roommate (or at the very least have patience and understanding for what he is going through.).</p>
<p>seiclan - How tragic for your son’s RM and the boy’s family. It may also be difficult for your son - it’s so hard for mature adults to know what to do/say in this situation. Hope all of you are able to provide support for each other during this difficult time.</p>
<p>Seiclan - That is horrible news for everyone in that boy’s life - so tragic. I am sure your son will rise to the occasion and offer whatever support his RM needs. Although, they are only 18, the reality of a death, especially self-inflicted, is going to hit very hard and close to home. What a difficult and scary time for his family.</p>
<p>seiclan, can your son check to see if the RA was informed? There is generally a process by which the school can notify professors in case the student misses classes, and often a professor will keep an eye out to see if any difficulties crop up with the student as far as class attendance/class performance.</p>
We were/are very close so I am not going to feel bad about maintaining contact. It is much better than the alternative.</p>