<p>seiclan - I think you’re right. Some people get time management naturally (like my youngest son - thank goodness!) and some have to be taught. It sounds like your son is well on his way to a stress free Sunday evening this weekend - yay! </p>
<p>And I love Zits. Maybe we need that link posted here every day!</p>
<p>Cherryhillmom - your story made me smile! my oldest son’s first walking experience reflected his style too. I was in the room for his first few steps, but after that for a couple weeks he only walked when he was in a room alone. If we walked in, he would plop down immediately. i would literally peek around corners to watch him. And to this day, he really likes to figure things out in private without an audience. It gets in his way sometimes - i think he avoids trying new things because he doesn’t want people to witness the awkward learning curve.</p>
<p>PRJ - I’m hoping the rest of his travels this year will be smooth! I really hated the idea of him stranded in the airport not sleeping all night and having to wait around until noon for his flight. Thank goodness he made that connection!</p>
<p>seiclan - I play woodwinds - saxes, flute, clarinet, bass clarinet, bassoon. I could open my own instrument store! My junior quit band between 8th and 9th grade and it was a real bummer for me. He had tons of natural talent! My youngest is planning to do band in high school, although he won’t do marching band - it’s basically a full time job at our high school. Even during the summer -they practice 40 hours a week for 6 weeks out of the summer! They even have there own ‘homecoming week’ because they are so busy during the actual homecoming weekend. You basically can’t do anything else if you’re in marching band. At least they don’t require it - he can still do concert band. Schools that require band kids to participate in marching band are a huge pet peeve of mine. i won’t hijack the whole thread, but basically i think it boils down to the mentality of shifting the focus away from educating kids to producing a product that people can see and measure (a nice polished marching band show that earns trophies). I can’t think of any way that requiring band kids to be in marching band is for the kids’ sake - it’s just to benefit the program, not the kids.</p>
<p>PN - You just described the band program at my son’s HS, which is why he had to leave. You must be in the marching band to be in the concert band. I tried to convince DS to switch to Orchestra (they don’t march or have summer and afterschool practice) but he balked. I think once he decided it was done, he was done period. Such a shame though. I really loved seeing him with his trumpet in hand (instead of the xbox controller)!!</p>
<p>I love these first steps stories, all saying so much about the personalities! D never crawled or cruised-- she watched. Then we went on vacation and had a room with a thick carpet–as soon as H left the room D would practice walking with me; the minute he came back she’d sit back down. The day we got home (to our bare wood floors) she was upright for good. She had a plan and followed it faithfully, and it worked. I must remember that this year!</p>
<p>The phone on the music stand is such a great image. I have never heard of this kind of marching band tyranny–makes me glad our school doesn’t have one. The music program is comprehensive otherwise and it has been so wonderful for D-- as H and I have NO musical ability. She couldn’t sing at all, joined a singing class because it was all that fit in the schedule and has been passionate about chorus, glee club (nothing like the tv show!), any kind of singing ever since. I think it will be important to her for the rest of her life.</p>
<p>PN, Sieclan and CherryHillMom I’m also in that boat: if D loves it (whatever “it” may be), its going to be done with passion, flair and quite a bit of success. If she dislikes the subject, the teacher, the environment (who knows what)…its going to be done fairly well but below what she is capable of. So for the first year in six she’s doing a fantastic job in French. Why? Because she happens to love this particular teacher. She continuosly reminds me that she still hates French and will drop it Senior year.
Stepping back and letting her succeed in her own way at her own level is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever tried to do. Haven’t got it done but I do try.</p>
<p>I could have my own rant about the strings program at our school…but it would take too much space. It does seem to be going in the right direction now, but of course it’s too late for my boys. My oldest (college freshman) is a piano player. My junior son plays the violin, but gave up his strings class this year for an extra science class. He had played since he was 5 and was very good. He also took fiddle lessons for a couple of years. That was a lot of fun because it was taught only by ear, no written music. I think he liked fiddle more than violin, but although he was technically good at both, he never really had the passion required to be a life long player. Oh well, I do think it helped his math brain!</p>
<p>First steps - If I look at my sons’ first steps as a reflection of who they are now, it’s very telling. My oldest walked the day before his first birthday. That is so who he is . If he was supposed to start walking by the time he was one, then by george he was going to do it! S2 walked at 11 months, didn’t do too much planning or practicing ahead of time, he just walked. </p>
<p>TX12 - My oldest took Spanish, starting in elementary school, and never really liked it, just took it because language was required. He is now taking a college Spanish course and loves it. He only has to take 2 years for college, but is now talking about taking it all the way through so he can be fluent and consider it a second language. I was so surprised when he told me this, because he had only complained about Spanish in the past. So who knows…I guess a good professor and a more mature outlook can allow them to find new passions/interests.</p>
<p>First steps stories -
Oldest walked at about 7 months, very early, no prompting. We’d walk up and down the street with her pushing her stroller in and out of stores, it was so funny, she was so young and tiny, people would stop and comment. She does everything in advance and perhaps that attention is why she is an actress?</p>
<p>With my younger I kept telling her she had to walk by the time she was one or I was sending her back as I hate the crawling stage! One day before her first birthday she got up and started to walk. Then she refused to walk again for another month - it was so funny. Definitely matches her personality - tell me what you want me to do and I will do exactly that - no more, no less. I’ve learned to be very specific with all the possible parameters when requesting something of her.</p>
<p>Hi everyone, there were a lot of posts to read! I was only gone for a few days… ;)</p>
<p>seiclan, it sounds to me that you are on the right track with your S. You are addressing his need for time management and it appears to be effective. Keep it up! You asked earlier what I did with my S and I did what you’re doing now. I kept track of his assignments by asking him what was due, signing up for email progress reports with his teachers (2 of them) and helping him to determine his study schedule in an assignment book. </p>
<p>Easy as pie! “Not” as my kids would say. S fought it but did it anyway. DH and I decided not to address the “attitude” and focus on the “action”. If he grumbled while doing the dishes, we’d say, “Hey, at least he’s doing it.” Same with homework. There were times when I made him study in the kitchen. He’d get it done in no time. Cookies and milk help, too! Removing him from the distractions helped a lot. </p>
<p>Now, some would say, he’s a junior -why are you treating him like a young kid? Well, he didn’t act this way until he was older. He skated through school and when school work got tougher in junior high, he didn’t have the skills to buckle down and do it. Couple that with the rebellious teen years - it made me want to drink sometimes!! Focus on the goal not on the attitude. </p>
<p>S has been home for Thanksgiving and he has done his laundry and cleaned the backyard. The extended family commented on how chatty he was at Thanksgiving about his classes in college. His favorite is Speech which is so funny because S has always been soft spoken.</p>
<p>I assume that the 1st quarter has ended for your juniors and most of you have been to parent-teacher conferences by now. This year I was busy with my freshman D’s teachers --to gage her adjustment to high school. I popped in to say hello to a couple of junior D’s teachers to say hello, but I had no real questions for them. If your junior has A’s do you still meet with teachers?</p>
<p>pathways - our school system doesn’t offer parent teacher conferences. Not in junior high or high school. You can email or request to meet with your kid’s teachers, but parents only tend to do that if there’s a real reason. I wish our schools believed it was important for parents and teachers to communicate, but I guess they don’t. </p>
<p>My older son’s high school (he’s a freshman in college now) had parent teacher meetings 2 or 3 times a year and i went to every one of them. i really like talking to teachers!</p>
<p>I always go to conferences, Pathways–I like talking to the teachers and I like establishing a bit of a relationship. This year one of D’s teachers had a really brilliant way of dealing with it-- telling me what she sees in D and asking specific questions about her interests etc. A ten minute conference but she had clearly prepared carefully and we both got so much out of it. Also I pop in on the GC if he’s free… I’m always surprised at what I get out of these meetings. (D will be moving up a level in one subject–teacher suggested it as we were talking and I realized it was the right thing, but I didn’t even know it was possible.)</p>
<p>Our school does not offer parent teacher conference at all. If you have a problem, you have to schedule a private meeting with a teacher. When there are 3200 kids in a high school and each teacher has between 150 and 175 students total, individual conferences next to impossible. I am lucky if the teacher answers email. Our GC’s have even more students (approximately 325 students) each. Sometimes I wonder if I should have put DS in private school, although it is a moot point now.</p>
<p>My D’s private school stopped parent teacher conference at 5th grade. We got a phone call with mid-term reports for a few years. Now in HS we get a written mid-term report. Kids are supposed to take it up themselves if there’s an issue. The tricky part is teaching kids how to recognize an issue if there’s one. Last year my D signed up for 6 AP courses. She had no idea what that meant in terms of work load. In theory they have to get permission from individual instructor and the advisor. They usually sign off if kids ask to. Now she’s learning what that meant. She’s is surviving but had she known she wouldn’t have signed up for so many advanced courses. Another minor probelem I see ahead is that her senior year course load can’t be heavier at all now that all the advanced courses would have been taken unless she takes even more science courses. Would that be seen as slacking off in senior year?</p>
<p>Igloo - Is your D allowed to explore a self study option senior year? Possibly leaving school after a few classes and maybe an internship opportunity? That would show rigor in her senior year.</p>
<p>I should ask. Thank you. That’s a great idea if allowed. They do have a writer’s workshop that she is interested in taking. Woiuld that look rigorous?</p>
<p>We have parent conferences twice a year and any other time that you request. Either my H or I always go. The only one we skipped was for S1 last year at the end of the quarter. He had already been accepted to the college he planned to attend and he had good senior grades. We weren’t sure why they were having a conference. Our conferences are held with the homeroom teacher and your child must attend. All academic teachers fill out a form on each student and students also fill out a conference form. The info on these forms guide the conference. There have been times I felt they were useful, other times not so much. I also work at the school my son attends (and the other son attended), so I know the teachers and they always find me if they need me.</p>
<p>Igloo - How about an online college course or a local college course?</p>
<p>Igloo - I know I suggested it, but I’m not sure how to do it. It was not an option at our school, but I know I read on CC about kids doing it all the time. Maybe you can start with your guidance counselor and see if it has ever been done at your school before. Maybe there is someone else on this thread knows better than I??</p>
<p>I think it depends on the area as well. At our school, we have to go through the guidance office. Our state also offers special online AP courses (Indiana Academy). Our kids can take classes at the local satelite branches, but they are only for dual credit (and many colleges don’t give credit for dual enrollment credits). It is also important to know how the classes will be weighted and whether or not a school would accept the credit.</p>
. If he was supposed to start walking by the time he was one, then by george he was going to do it! S2 walked at 11 months, didn’t do too much planning or practicing ahead of time, he just walked. </p>
Removing him from the distractions helped a lot. </p>