Parents of the HS Class of 2013

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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<p>Congrats Nellie and Vandy. Great kids.</p>

<p>Our last day is May 25th if he exempts all of his exams. Looks like he will. Counting down the days.</p>

<p>SteveMa - S has been going in the other direction. Looking at schools, sending requests for info, looking up flight info for visits, etc. I’m trying to get him to slow down just a little and not stress. </p>

<p>We have given S our bottom line for cost. He knows any school that costs over this if only $1000 is over our budget. I ran the NPC calculator for about 15 schools he is interested in so he knows what can happen and what probably won’t. Fortunately for him his best friend has two siblings that attended top ten schools and then med school and are each about $300,000 in debt. Just the sound of that scares S so he is being overly conservative.</p>

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<p>I don’t remember schools being sooo expensive…
It’s the R&B that’s the killer…12-15k at Every school we have looked into</p>

<p>I told mine…Again it’s that selective Hearing on their part…
Apply…to 3 in each category…then look at the money packages offered…who knows how this will play out…as much as getting in is a crapshoot…so are the FA packages…she will Have to go where the money is…My resources for her higher edu are not the best and I don’t want her in debt…
Too many kids are getting out of school with no jobs…</p>

<p>SteveMA…I LOVE your thinking and the assignment…keep us posted on the results…</p>

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<p>Anniezz wrote: </p>

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<p>You know, I think you are in good company. I am sitting on the bench right beside you. That being said, I carry guilt over my parents paying SO MUCH MONEY for my college and honestly, I didn’t appreciate it at the time. And while I now know and appreciate the sacrifices they made, I also truly believe that I could have gotten an equally good education at a number of schools that cost less. Yes, it is great to have gone to a “prestigious name” college and it has opened doors for me, or at least gotten people’s attention. I have to acknowledge that. But was it worth tens of thousands more? I’m thinking probably not. </p>

<p>We are the first to have a kid go to college on both sides of the family and we are bucking the “name brand” trend- and it is not going over well. But, so be it. I cannot in good conscience give up our retirement to fund a 250,000$ college education. My kids have worked hard, will continue to do so, and will hopefully pursue the opportunities that their schools offer them.</p>

<p>Sorry, I made this all about me. I just wanted you to know that you aren’t alone and I think about this too.</p>

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<p>I have a friend who posted on FB yesterday: “You know - you work hard to put your children through school in hopes that they will be able to get a good job and live productive lives. Well now what - 6 months out of school with a degree in Biology and a minor in Chemistry and there are no jobs…except as a door to door salesmen. So tell me again what our $60,000 educational loans were for again?” Even that $60K price tag makes me nauseous; I can’t imagine being $300K in debt. I’m glad everyone is being clear with their kids about the amount they can pay, even if they don’t want to hear it. Thankfully for me, ds fully gets it.</p>

<p>OK, so I had a dream last night that ds was attending an Ivy. Good dream? Not for me. I must admit that I have an anti-Ivy bias and don’t want ds to apply to them, but he wants to so I’ll let him.</p>

<p>Last AP today. Woohoo! He’s so happy. He’s been handling stress by working out a lot. A group of guys has been lifting weights every day either after school or during last period if their teachers don’t care.</p>

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<p>SteveMA- we have girls getting ready at our house for Prom also- I think at least ten girls coming over at 3 on Saturday and then their dates (and parents who wish to) coming over at 7:15 for pictures. I’m going to have heavy snacks for the girls and then something light for the dates and parents. I’m thinking a ginger-ale type punch, crackers, cheese, grapes. For the girls I’ll get ChickFilA nugget trays, popcorn etc. I am looking forward to the laughter and NOT looking forward to the Prama!</p>

<p>Terinzak- better late than never! and school historian is something unusual. GO STATE!</p>

<p>CBGMass- Oh. My. Gosh. 300,000$ in DEBT? I cannot even imagine. When my Dh finished law school, we paid off about 50K in debt and I remember that we were stressed by it and how much we hated it. That is just insane. </p>

<p>Ama- We told our D the same thing. She is applying to several schools that probably won’t work out financially. She knows that going in. I keep telling her over and over again just to be sure she truly gets it.</p>

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<p>I think many people are on that Bench now. My DD has a friend who is probably if not at the top, close to the top of his class (in rank) who is only looking at large state schools, not too far from home, due to money. She says no one understands why he isnt looking at the private and more "prestigious"named schools…the kids are not even understanding the money factor…it’s always about the Label…I suggested to her that knowing his family, it is likely he cannot look at schools that wouldn’t have some kind of financial/merit scholarship…she seemed to understand…I think. (I did find out from the friend’s mom that GC had given them names of schools that would likely offer him merit aid as well…but they arent sure he should be too far from home…)</p>

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<p>YDS- I get the anti-Ivy bias, but one plus is that they do offer good financial aid from what I’ve heard. It also sounds like he is good at managing stress, which I think you need to be able to do to do well at an uber-competitive Ivy.</p>

<p>When I really want to freak myself out, I think about Grad school. We can manage the UG thing for her but Grad school is on her. Let’s say she chooses a school that brings the EFC for us to 30k/year from 50k/year. We can pay that for her. It’s our outer limit but we can. But then, she has no money for grad school at all. So then what?</p>

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<p>One thing everyone needs to remember to consider is travel expenses if a kid is looking at schools far away. That can add a few thousand a year, conceivably. Plus colleges increasing their costs each year has to be factored in. I just read that a state, I can’t remember which (NY or CA?) raised their costs 12% for next year AND also made cutbacks. SCARY.</p>

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<p>vandy, the FA is the only reason that I’m OK with him applying. I don’t see any other reason that he’d apply other than prestige, and I couldn’t care less about prestige.</p>

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<p>tx5athome: thanks for the insight on the new AP Bio test. I knew they were covering less, but hadn’t heard about the developing labs part. She already had the teacher freshman year and loved her so she’s not worried about that.</p>

<p>vandygrad: that’s awesome about the (secret) award! </p>

<p>89Wahoo: D1 took AP Chem after getting C’s in Honors Chem (the teacher actually took her aside & asked “are you sure?” as did DH & I.) She took it for the teacher whom she adored, but she worked her backside off to get C’s. I attribute a good deal of that to the fact that the class hit her where her LD’s made her the weakest, but she wouldn’t have traded it for anything. She ended up with a 3 on the exam so all ended well.</p>

<p>D2 is currently at the AP Language exam. Word last night was that the AP French exam took 6 1/2 HOURS! Seriously?! And most of those had to be at the Language exam this morning. Insanity.</p>

<p>Last day here is May 23rd. Tomorrow’s the last “regular” day of school, exams start Friday.</p>

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<p>Nice to hear we are all on the same page about the financial aspects of our kids journey…
Travel expenses can be very high…thank goodness mine wants to stay within 3 hrs…
NYS Schools are up to $22,000…12 being that r&b thing…and that’s rising next year…and books…eeke…</p>

<p>I THINK mine gets it…let’s hope so…</p>

<p>I just can’t see spending all that money and working so hard and no jobs after school…but the kids going to “trade” school coming out and making $85 an hour working as a mechanic…don’t get me wrong…there is nothing wrong with being a mechanic…with No debt…just leaves one thinking…</p>

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<p>Oh, I’m a fan of trade schools! My brother went to one for two years and started as a mechanic, then became a service writer, then managed the dept, etc. He has three homes, two of which he rents out. The third is on 13 acres and quite lovely. His trade has been a great thing for him. I went to cc before transferring to my four-year, in-state uni. I have no problem with any path your life takes – well, except for that anti-Ivy bias, I guess! lol</p>

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<p>Lots of congratulations are in order! Such a great groups of kiddos!</p>

<p>Wow – WTG, Longhaul’s S – that is quite a feat! I didn’t get involved in the prom tux or flowers – S took his date to the tux store to let her pick it out and he took care of the flowers. </p>

<p>Congrats to megpmom’s S – he sounds like quite the strategist! The “fake it ‘til you make it” approach apparently more than worked for your S!</p>

<p>Congrats to vandygrad’s D on the award! Planning a vacation would be a nice distraction!</p>

<p>Congrats to Nellieh’s D for winning post of Editor! </p>

<p>Congrats to Ama’s D – improv sounds fun!</p>

<p>Good luck to terinzak’s S – I’ve never heard of school historian! </p>

<p>Interesting that the AP Bio test had different forms . . . I wonder if they’re all like that. S said there was an FRQ on the AP Physic tests that totally stumped him, but other than that he thought it was OK. Do they do experimental questions on the AP exams? The changes you’re talking about in Bio labs would explain the weird Physics FRQ – none of the kids or even the teacher had ever come across a question like it.</p>

<p>Here, classes are done May 25, and finals are done May 31. S is taking the subject tests on June 2. He’s scrambling to catch up on the three days of classes he missed due to AP exams. He’s had solid A’s across the board all year, but this quarter he’s dipped, so he’ll have to pull A’s on several exams to keep his 4.0 for the year. Why does he always do this?!?!</p>

<p>Went up in his room for laundry yesterday . . . the floor is a sea of dirty clothes, notes, flashcards, and candy wrappers! Cleaning night is tonight, homework or not!</p>

<p>I asked S last night if he’s getting lots of questions about where he wants to go to school. He said “yes – I tell them I’m planning on going to ITT Tech and wait for the blank stare. Then, I say – seriously, I want to go to the school that gives me the most money!” After we visited Case, I asked him how he liked it. His reply “I like it, but only if they give me enough money.” He definitely gets the money thing – I have it drilled into him. He too will be applying to a few schools that will only be financially doable if he gets a big national scholarship as well. He also knows ROTC is an option, but he understandably doesn’t want to go that route - especially when he has a few good merit options that he’d be very happy at.</p>

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<p>Re: the money issues. I am right there with you. H and I are trying to figure out what we can swing. We have told D a lower number so we can manage expectations better. I think D gets the $$ thing but she is 16 and also gets caught up in the dreams of large scholarships. She attends a school with a wide variety of income levels. So she hears the stories about “full ride at MIT”, scholarship to Princeton. Many of her friends have a much lower income than us. For her it doesnt make sense that their options may be greater than hers. Idealistic and 16 will mean we are going to have these conversations for another year. </p>

<p>One thing I keep hammering home is the need for her to exit school debt free. To me being a young grad in your early 20’s should equate to adventure and risk taking. I keep trying to hammer home that decisions she makes now regarding school debt will limt her young adult adventures. Move to NY, Europe, live on a commune (although I hope not), try something outrageous…all that is hard to do when you need to make a $600 a month payment.</p>

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<p>MommyDearest…Your S is a hoot…and he Gets It…LUCKY YOU…
I adore kids with a sense of humor…I have one but my D missed that in the gene pool :(</p>

<p>Youdon’tsay…If I only had a S…mechanics would be on my radar…mine doesn’t even drive…lollollol…not that she’s a princess…just mechanics are not her thing…but… she can muck stalls in the barn just fine!!</p>

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<p>Ditto the sentiment on FA here. I do think S’13 gets it, but I do remind him from time to time (probably too often) that he can apply where he wants, but it will come down to finances. It worked that way for me and that’s how I ended up at an Ivy. I wanted to go to the big private school in the area that I had grown up loving for sports, but the FA package at the Ivy was several times larger and made the cost less than at the state publics. I loved it there, but it was hard being a fan of those teams. That was in the 1980s, but I think the idea holds true today and my sense is that the schools with the large endowments have upped their game on the FA front.</p>

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<p>All that said, S’13 also knows we have already pre-paid Florida Public Universities. So that makes them the financial safety and everything else a financial reach.</p>

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<p>My D is also taking the AP Eng Lang exam today. She doesn’t feel as well prepared for it as she did for AP USH. Her AP Eng Lang teacher went out on maternity leave and they had a long-term substitute, who they all like, but is young and inexperienced, and didn’t prepare them well for the exam.</p>

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<p>Good morning! Lot’s of action today! </p>

<p>AP Lang: S3 is taking it today. We have, by far the worst AP Lang teacher on the planet, but still his older brother got a 4, so I don’t know how much the teacher makes a difference. I have also heard, and I am not sure if it is true, that there is no real way to study for it. We will see how S3 does.</p>

<p>Finances: I hear you!! What I learned this year. D1 is graduating and going on to get her masters/teaching credential (which starts this summer and ends next summer). When I filled our her FASFA her EFC came out to “0”!! I was shocked and thrilled. I guess as a graduate student they don’t consider your parents income, unless you go into a “health care” field (medicine,dentistry, pharmacy, etc…). I thought she would get a lot of “free money”. But evidently in grad school there is very little, if any, free money. And the interest on the graduate school loans are higher than undergrad. She is moving home which will keep costs down and she did get a $9K grant from the school, but it was definitely eye opening.</p>

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<p>D has called. She feels better about this AP exam than she did about the others she’s taken. The fact that she’s done with them now can not hurt that attitude!</p>