<p>First app submitted!</p>
<p>If anyone remembers my question about the discrepancies between score choice practices reported by the colleges and college board score ordering, here’s an update. College board is no longer reporting that each college wants all scores regardless of the colleges’ own statements. The information presented at the time the scores are ordered now corresponds to the college websites.</p>
<p>S finally started his essay. He wrote two paragraphs and then the next day said I am going to start over. Now today, he said I may write two essays and see what I like better.<br>
Finally we have forward progress. He doesn’t have any wow idea and he has about 3 weeks until it needs to be done.</p>
<p>We have been asked many time about DD’s college list. Both of us have no problem naming them, and for the most part people have never heard of them. </p>
<p>When they find out that she wants to do musical theatre, they usually mention NYC, and that opens the door for a conversation about conservatories, TV/stage stars’ biographies and stuff like that there. No harm, no foul. They have learned something new and I get to show off my knowledge!! Haha!!</p>
<p>And DD has leaned so much about the process that her friends have gone to HER for help!</p>
<p>Four more applications sent today, woot! One more to go…needs second essay and then DONE. So glad. Kudos to everyone else’s progress on essays!</p>
<p>Now I’m nervous…what if she doesnt get accepted into the major she wants?</p>
<p>Ok…I wont go there.</p>
<p>I thought I had a stock answer to the question of which college- many people ask does he know where he is going yet? I usually answer he likes two state schools but will probably apply to a couple choices and then see what happens in the spring. I think it is a good answer, but I get the omg- they are in such bad neighborhoods, how can you send your kid there? 60,000 students attend one of them
It bugs me and I can’t not answer- I tell them that he looked at illinois institute of Technology and university of Chicago and those are “bad neighborhoods” compared to our state schools. Seriously, I want my kid exposed to different places other than suburbia</p>
<p>I think perhaps my problem is where these discussions are taking place: at my daughter’s hockey practices (it’s her brother who is applying). </p>
<p>Hockey Mom 1: “So, where is your son applying?”
Me: “He’s got some reach schools that he’s got his heart set on, but we know that it’s statistically unlikely, and in any case he’ll be happy at any number of schools ”
Hockey Mom 1 pressures some, and finally I give up: “Yale SCEA.”
Hockey Mom 2 who just walked over: “So, where is your son applying?”
Hockey Mom1 jumping in: “Yale” with an eye roll that I’m not sure I was supposed to see.</p>
<p>I should mention that these Hockey Moms (and that’s not a disparaging term; I’m a Hockey Dad) would think nothing about bragging that their child had moved up a level in hockey, had scored a hat trick in the last game, etc. I’m trying to respect my son’s desire for privacy (even in a situation like this where his life doesn’t intersect much with his sister’s hockey life), but sometimes all that’s left is either a rude “None of your business” or a lie. I’m not rude by nature, and lying does not come naturally to me (you should see me at a poker table 
), so I’ve decided from now on to say that my son asked me to not discuss college applications (which has the added benefit of being true). </p>
<p>It’s really unfortunate, because the parents are in each others’ presence for probably 10 hours a week, and so many of their kids are applying this year, but the mom’s eye roll really hurt. I’ve known the hockey mom who rolled her eyes for 4 years. I thought we were friends.</p>
<p>That’s awful, IxnayBob! So you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. They push you for a name then roll their eyes at it? That’s why I ended up lying (sorry, Wesleyan) – I just felt like some people are so aggressive they won’t rest until they hear a name. But as mathmomvt said, it’s not ideal. </p>
<p>I just hope now the eye-roll mom doesn’t ask you every second, “so – did he get in?” </p>
<p>And when he DOES get in, I want you at the next practice wearing the Yale t-shirt, ok? :)</p>
<p>IxnayBob, thanks for relating the story in such a detail. You did a good job telling it and made me feel like a fly on the wall. Yale (not SCEA) happened to be DS’ super-reach school. I probably missed all the eye-rollings in my conversations.</p>
<p>IxnaBob, thanks for sharing…I posted earlier that I try to be vague about where why son is apply for that very reason. My S is applying to Colby a reach for him and I know I will get “the looks” if I mention it. Heck, this summer a good (older) friend asked where Colin was applying and I mentioned Colby along with other schools and got a lecture about the odds of getting in and he tried to steer me to look at other schools. Later in the summer, the same friend asked S what schools he was applying to and he said Colby- didn’t mention another school. I found myself jumping in and saying that Colby was a reach school and that S was looking at several other schools…boy I felt awful…I didn’t want anyone discouraging S and I ended up acting like S wasn’t good enough to get into Colby…he hung his head down and walked away…I learned my lesson! …jeez…we are moving forward and S will apply ED to Colby and see what happens. I have encouraged him to apply EA to a couple of safety schools but S’s attitude is why bother …" if I don’t get into Colby I’ ll just apply regular decision? The boy is very frugal but I just want him to have something positive…just in case…here is to positive vibes and encouragement!</p>
<p>Thank you everyone, for responding to my question and sharing your view on the college list and how to answer when pressed for where our kids are applying Early. It definitely depends on the personality of the student, the competition in their schools and the predicted responses from the others. </p>
<p>My daughter is very private about her scores, grade, rank and it is not surprising she wants to be private about the colleges. The good thing is that the school told the seniors at the senior meeting (when they discussed naviance and common app) on how they should respond to people asking about the college list - to say variety of schools. The kids don’t want to talk about colleges as they go through the pressure/uncertainty of the process. They are all in a vulnerable state. My DD says no senior friends of hers talk about college list.</p>
<p>So the issue is with well meaning (sometimes not) adults, neighbors, and parents of friends. It is partly curiosity and partly they feel that they have to ask - as the topic of conversation. My husband is not quick on his feet when pressed and so we as a family came up with how to answer such situations. “She is applying to a variety of schools and guess we will all know in Spring”. When pressed for where early, “It is a lottery school and reach for everyone, and I guess we will know in December”. At which point we plan to change the subject.</p>
<p>My DD has no problem talking about it after the process is over - she has thought through this and came up with a list - we discussed it in detail. Her college counselor has approved it. She just doesn’t want to discuss the merits of it with others at this point.</p>
<p>Good luck to everyone! Thanks again for all the suggestions!</p>
<p>
Heck, I might wear one even if he doesn’t get in!!! Including some serendipitous factors, we figure he’s got a 20% chance.</p>
<p>happymom - My D’s #1 and looks like it is going to happen is in a horrible location as well. I was nervous when we went to visit the school and thought for sure that I’d be telling her that I “liked” it only because I know this is where she wanted to go, but when we visited the campus, both my husband and I really did like it. The campus is really nice, now you go off campus and it can be really scary, but it’s her choice. I’m sure I will be nervous once she goes, but I already had my chance with college and now it’s hers. Safety is a big issue at the school and I’m sure she will be in great hands. I’m almost to the point if someone wants to say negative opinions, I’m just going to say I really don’t care about your opinion! I know what people think when we say the school D is interested in, but it is a Nationally know school that is good and we are so excited for her that not much they can say can change that!</p>
<p>I hate the “WHere are you going to college?” question. I told d the most appropriate answer was “Wherever I get the most money.” </p>
<p>At homecoming coronation last week, the MCs announced the kids’ college plans. Most of the kids listed one of the two big state schools. With rolling admissions, the kids probably already know they’re in (and the acceptance rate is high, so even kids with middling stats will get in). There’s no real aid, so you know the price. But for d? List of 7, 6 in different tuition exchange groups. We won’t know anything for a good, long time. When she was announced it was just she plans to go to college and major in mathematics</p>
<p>It was kind of funny when Barnardgirl was going through that. Nobody had ever heard of Barnard but it was her dream school. I’ve been telling people where my S is applying. I start with the safeties- Albion, Oberlin, Michigan. Then say, and he’s visiting a few others to see what he thinks and might apply to those too.</p>
<p>I really am amazed at the variety in how people deal with college choices. My '14 came home yesterday talking about the colleges choices (and SAT scores, etc) of a multitude of friends. They all shared willingly and everyone will be rooting for everyone else to get top choices with decent aid to go. I already knew kids, for years, have shared freely with me… but teaching could possibly have made that reaction specific… plus, I never discourage kids. (I do recommend they consider the financial aspect of heavy debt when making any final decisions in the spring.)</p>
<p>It’s just not a big deal here. Top choices (pending student) can range from cc to Top 20 and no one (openly) wishes evil on anyone else. Some students even opt to (gasp) go directly into the work force or military. They are also wished well.</p>
<p>I find myself glad I don’t live in an overly competitive atmosphere. College talk is routine here and we share ups and downs.</p>
<p>It’s like that here too Creek. One of my d’s friends got into an Academy, another into Univ of Alabama. She’s happy for both of them, the only thing she’s jealous about is they have decisions. She just wants to know. It’s hard to get her to understand to just let the process work itself out and she’ll be somewhere next year.</p>
<p>In my neck of the woods, most of the kids are fine about sharing but the parents are way too competitive. My kid never talked test scores at school (though many of his friends did), and no one knew he’d done well until the NMSF list came out and he couldn’t keep it secret. He also opted not to let anyone know where he applied to school until the day after ED results came out. That said, you probably could have inferred most of his list from his tee-shirt collection. ;)</p>
<p>Oh, and for IxnayBob: Tell the hockey moms your kid is applying to Yale because it’s such a great hockey school.</p>
<p>My guy is getting more into the process now that he and his friends/classmates are all discussing things. Some have already been admitted places (esp the rolling schools which are safeties for some and #1 choices for others). I consider his new interest a good thing! Soon he’ll be starting apps and I shouldn’t have to nag him about them. After our visits, he’ll need to get them done quickly. Guidance is ready to go.</p>
<p>In NYC there is a truly bizarro high school “choice” admission process, the quotes about the choice being that there are not enough seats in decent-to-great high schools to match up with the number of decent-to-great students (never mind the students who are not achievers–their “choices” are usually extremely dismal). To top that off, there are about 100 different admission procedures among the 400+ high school programs to apply to. Students make a list and all the “data” are digested by the Dept. of Education computer, also known as “pay no attention to the man behind the computer” and the vast majority of students are offered a seat in one high school (a few can be given a choice between 2 schools and a tiny number, between 3). A decreasing number of students (around half I think) have zoned schools to fall back on and most of the zoned schools are awful.</p>
<p>So by Thanksgiving, if you ask an 8th grader where s/he is going to high school, you are apt to get an answer: “I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!” And 8th grade parents huddle together and commiserate, trading tidbits of information.</p>
<p>My poor kid, who goes to a wonderful gigantic test-in school that’s pretty easy to get to from our house, closer than the elementary and middle schools she attended, crawled into bed with me the summer before last and said, “Can someone else apply to college for me?” Fortunately once she got the concept of possible acceptances to multiple schools that were not connected to the NYC Dept. of Education computer in any way, and the need to find safety schools, she’s relaxed a bit. I feel like we’ve been through much worse 4 years ago. But I am really, REALLY glad to be finished with NYC school choice!</p>
<p>^that does sound like an ugly process, oldmom4896!</p>
<p>Does anyone know anything about U of Denver? S knows 2 kids from our school who went there and liked it (but they’re both avid skiiers). I think he likes the idea of being in a different part of the country and it’s so outdoorsy. Not sure if it would be the right place for him (I’m convinced he needs the attention of a small LAC). Any info is greatly appreciated.</p>