<p>Glido, only a second-time-around parent can write a post like that. It’s just the right thing for me to read after a long day trying to sort out issues with colleges not receiving some application materials DS’s school submitted.</p>
<p>I have been sick to my stomach about D’s apps which are not done, all of your comments made me feel better. But at the same time tearing up along with all of you at the thought of her leaving next year. This is my first time around and hence the emotions are more like a roller coaster. By nature I am pretty laid back and do not go through mood swings, not the last few months though. </p>
<p>I want D to apply to only the local schools sometimes but at the same time I want her to explore like my parents allowed me and let her go where she wants. So many mixed thoughts about everything!!!</p>
<p>Great post Glido. I am telling myself that if I dont get caught up in the emotions, I can enjoy the holidays with what we have now instead of thinking about what we will miss next year.</p>
<p>This is my second time around and I can vouch for all that glido said. I too am feeling a lot less anxious bc I know that things work out. And for those of you whose kids have dropped a bit in grades this quarter, here’s what I know: my oldest had a drop in one of his grades…his Advanced physics was a B+ & he was applying as a STEM major. He was deferred by his ED Ivy but got in RD, & also got into another ivy and a few equivalent schools w that grade (it remained a B+, if I remember correctly, the whole year). I honestly believe they look at the kid holistically. And while I don’t want to sound like a Pollyanna, I think this process works out in most cases. It may seem random but I think the admissions ppl have some good sense of what kids fit their schools. Now watch: the process will backfire w my S2 this year! God, I hope not. (:</p>
<p>Oh, and in retrospect the 2 schools that rejected him would not have been the best fits for him. </p>
<p>This second kid is a more lopsided student (much better humanities than math) and thus more of a wild card college applicant. But I’m honestly more chill bc I think he’ll land where he needs to be. I wish he had academically matured earlier but he didn’t. But I love the way he’s turned out as a senior and I only expect him to further grow in college.</p>
<p>I am a second time around parent too and I would like to add something about letting them go. Part of the upside of letting them go is when they come back! When S12 comes home I can feel his love for us and for his home and I can tell how much he misses it all! I see him growing into a young man who understands what family is and what shelter and healing powers it has! So don’t cry too much! They will be home for Thanksgiving/Winter Break/Spring Break with a big long hug for you!</p>
<p>First time poster here but not on CC. This is my first child to go through this process and it has been stressful, emotional and crazy. After much nagging, and arguing my sons apps are all out even the RD ones that aren’t due until January. Now we wait, not so patiently I might add. Even though we argued over the process I do think it brought us even closer in some ways. I am dreading my first son leaving next fall and also excited for him. I just wish I could be 18 again and go with him. Reading everyone else’s posts does help me to know I’m not completely alone in my stress or sadness so thanks for sharing everyone.</p>
<p>Second time around for me too and I agree with glido’s post completely. I have this inner calm that S14 is going to end up where he is supposed to be. </p>
<p>As for letting go, I found the anticipation of it to be much harder than the reality of it. I was a basket case my D’s whole senior year. Every “last” band event (marching band competition, football game, banquet, camp, solo & ensemble competition, etc.) I was in tears. I do miss being a band parent, but I’ve adjusted. My D stays in touch A LOT… more than I thought she would. I follow her on Twitter and she texts me a lot. It sometimes doesn’t feel like she’s really gone. It’s nothing like when I was in college and called every Sunday at 1 pm, collect, and had to talk fast because it was expensive. </p>
<p>I’m less freaked out about S leaving, most of the time. However, as a single person, I’m a little concerned that I’m not going to like living alone all the time. I think I will miss human interaction in the house. At the same time, there are things I’m looking forward to- like things being exactly where I left them and having so much less laundry to do. And not having to cook for anybody unless I feel like it.</p>
<p>Hi all. I’m more active in the Musical Theatre thread, but I do read the 2014 Parents thread faithfully. I totally relate to finding myself close to tears. My son has applied to 15 schools with hoops a plenty to jump through. I found myself feeling quite hostile about all the picayune details of the process and then I realized I’m working hard to help him leave, and I don’t want him to go! The pre-grieving process is tough, but like Creekland wrote, I think about myself at his age, and he is ready to fly.</p>
<p>I’m also on my second go-round. When oldest d left, I’d go into her room sometimes and just lie on the bed. And get this. . . I still say her most days because she went to school locally (but still lived on campus)! In many ways younger d will be the first one to really leave. I know that I’ll be sad for a while, but will get over it. You know what I’m worried about? Her best friend, the cat. He gets upset now if she spends the night somewhere. Imagine what it’ll be like for him when she really doesn’t come back.</p>
<p>Second time parent here as well. I’ll tell you about the letting go - do not spend this entire year dying a thousands deaths and thinking everything is the “last”. They aren’t dying, they are doing what you dreamed of them doing when they were babies! You did it! You raised a great kid who is ready to go out on their own and forge their own path.</p>
<p>I won’t lie, the first 6 weeks he was gone was very sad to me. I did cry, I did fret, I even watched the video camera the college has on the quad to see if it was snowing or if I could catch a glimpse! When he came home for break after 6 weeks I got to see how he was fine and I was able to relax, then came Thanksgiving break, then a month at Christmas, then spring break - then he had 4 months for summer! So it’s not like we don’t see him. </p>
<p>The things you think you’ll miss so much - band, sports, etc. actually kind of fades and it is a bit freeing to not have so much of your time taken up by kids activities. </p>
<p>With my youngest leaving next year, I’m quite certain I’ll be a nightmare again, but I’m trying not to think about it. I’m developing new friends and activities now.</p>
<p>Thank you for all of the helpful thoughts on the lower grades. The plan is to continue with the apps and see what happens. </p>
<p>@Glido: Loved your post! And really all of the comments that followed. It puts this rat race in perspective. </p>
<p>On today’s agenda is figuring which schools are going to get the SAT Subject test scores and if colleges want official transcripts for college credit earned in high school. </p>
<p>Only one of DCs schools requires the subject scores but several will consider them if submitted. How does one decide if the scores help the application? With the exception of a language test, the scores are in the low 700s. I’ve seen a few different thoughts on this in the CC community. One crowd seems to say if it isn’t over 750, it isn’t good enough. Others say that if the score starts with a 7, it is perfectly good. I’ve also seen some say a score in the high 600s on a language exam is respectable for an applicant if that language is not spoken at home.</p>
<p>College4many CC is a very competitive site so you will see people complaining with 35 ACT scores. I think that anything above 700 is very respectable. Schools do not look for perfect scores. Many times they prefer a student that progressively showed improvement over 4 years and had EC activities than a kid with a perfect score.</p>
<p>S had applied to all schools saying he didn’t need financial aid (because none of his schools are need-blind and I thought it would hurt his chances at acceptance).</p>
<p>So I’m checking my email and his, hoping one of his schools will accept him before their stated deadline, and I see an email from one of the schools we had visited and toured.</p>
<p>I click on it. It’s an invitation to apply for financial aid.</p>
<p>I’m like – guys – we said we didn’t need any. Was it the car? That was a rental.</p>
<p>Thank you glido & all the parents that have been there before! I’m kind of like momentscaught’s comment - I wish I was 18 and going through this! 
Although I really DON’T want to be 18 again!! haha But I have local friends/first time parents who can’t imagine sending their child further than the flagship an hour away. You know what, this isn’t about us! I want the BEST for my son - the best that he can do, the best school that he can get into that is affordable, the best opportunities! If it means he’s going to be over 1,000 miles away, then so be it. Yes, I’ll be sad. But I know he will be doing what he wants to do. Yes, it will be great if the school he ends up at is the one that is only two hours away - and if he gets a full ride there, it may be. But I want him to reach for the stars. You can’t get there if you don’t try! 
(And, selfishly, I may get to do some traveling to go see him!!)</p>
<p>Kids are out of school today and likely tomorrow. Ice/sleet/freezing rain is moving in. Glad I made it to the store yesterday to get pop tarts! Maybe, just maybe, DS will use these two free days to work on scholarship apps???</p>
<p>I don’t post here very often, but I have a word of advice to pass on, especially if your child is still 17. The next time you take him/her to the doctor, get copies of the HIPAA forms that will allow the doctor’s office to share info with you once your child is 18. My D just turned 18 and we need to ask the nurse a question. They won’t talk to me - only her - which is hard to do when she’s in school.</p>
<p>Missypie - thanks for the great advice! Would have never thought of that, I’m sure, until the first time I needed it and she was long gone.</p>
<p>beadymom - I loved reading your post! You put into words perfectly exactly what’s been on my mind. Sometimes I too think, “Wow, wouldn’t it be fun to be 18 again. She has the whole world in front of her. So many choices - it’s such an exciting time!” I don’t really want to be 18 again either, and there definitely is a lot of stress associated with all this too, but there are also a lot of wonderful opportunities. I’m happy and excited for my D, and want her to make the most of it. My D is applying to 9 schools, in the north and in the south, and stretching from the east to the west coast. I’ve had several parents make comments to me like, “You’d let her go that far?!” or “My D’s close to our family, and wants to stay within a couple hours of home.” It’s not that my D hates her family, but she is definitely ready to fly and feel some independence, and she doesn’t want to be too close to home. I remember feeling that same way when I was 17. I’m sure I’m going to miss her, but she’s worked so hard for this, and this is her chance. I’d never have her give up an opportunity because I want her to stay close. Of course, finances will play a role, and she’s well aware that we’ll have to look at all the options and see what’s affordable in the end, but you never know if someplace or something is a possibility unless you go for it.</p>
<p>Missypie, thank you for reminding us!</p>
<p>Classof2015, that’s interesting about fin. aid invitation.</p>
<p>Does anyone know what that means? Is it a common thing to receive invitation to apply for fin aid even if you specified “will not apply”?</p>
<p>mozika – I thought it was strange too – it was from University of Denver – it’s the only school who sent something like this.</p>
<p>I really think it was the car :)</p>
<p>I wonder if one could infer a positive decision from it?</p>
<p>2015–the same has happened to my son. One school that accepted him really early continues to email and send US Mail reminding him to file for FA. I am ignoring it. But, the FA letters didn’t start until after the acceptance.</p>