<p>@1dilecon - thank you. I am very proud of D! I hope that I can make things work out for D for college (she does have some merit at her dream school), and that I can reconcile D and H!</p>
<p>@SOSConcern - I am so sorry to hear about friend’s MIL. 56 is very young. My heart and prayers go out to that family. </p>
<p>I too am a breast cancer survivor. It sounds like there are quite a few of us on here. Maybe we need a thread?</p>
<p>@collegetime - hopefully it is a premonition!</p>
<p>Good morning…hope everyone is faring well in the bitter cold. I’m not really looking forward to the spring. It means that dd is closer to college. Even though she is driving me nuts with her moods, I am not looking forward to graduation. I wish we could rewind to freshman year. </p>
<p>Sad day yesterday. My S found out he did not receive the scholarship from the school where he interviewed for it and fell in love. It’s bad enough that he didn’t get it, but this means we are almost out of options. There were 6 schools with full ride scholarships that we were hoping for and he did not get any of them. We will hear from the last one in the next week but that is the one is a long shot. It’s getting very scary that we may not be able to afford any of the schools he was really interested in attending.</p>
<p>@JRMAMA, so sorry to hear the news. I hope something will come through for him…Hang in there…</p>
<p>@jrmama496 - I’m sorry to hear of another scholarship that slipped by. I feel like we keep getting the same news, too. I look at DS’ stats and think he could have/should have gotten this scholarship or that special program. There is just so much competition with this class. These are some smart kids! I know my son has multiple friends that have 34+ ACT scores at an average high school. We have 6 colleges on our list, two are affordable at this point. We’re still waiting to hear on additional scholarships for a few others so we won’t have a decision for weeks. Good luck to your DS that something will come through for him!</p>
<p>@jrmama, I’m so sorry to hear your news too. keeping my fingers crossed that something comes through. I will say that I think lots of kids find happiness wherever they land. I remember kids from the class of 2011 who were disappointed by not getting into their favorite schools, and went off to another. They’re thriving where they landed and very happy.</p>
<p>@newhavenctmom, it’s hard to let go. This will be my second and last kid off to college. you’ll get use to having her gone. and it’s wonderful and exciting when they return for vacations. I still find it hard for a few days after my first returns to school, particularly after a long break for winter. But I know how happy he is at school and that makes it easier to let him go.</p>
<p>@jrmama496, I am sorry to hear this news. We are seeing the same thing here. Getting in has been easy for DS but he has yet gotten any of the competitive full ride/tuition merit scholarships he applied for. Without merit $, the acceptance is almost like a rejection. Let’s hope the few we have left will turn out to be good news. </p>
<p>I really hope the tide is turning away from a focus on “getting in” and toward looking at schools that are financially feasible. On cc (and maybe in real life, too), it seems like you hear about so many kids getting so many generous awards, and you can get pretty down in the dumps when they don’t come through for your kid. I remember feeling that way on our first go-around with tuition exchange. I’d listened to too many success stories (because, let’s face it, who wants to talk about things that didn’t quite work out) and didn’t have my oldest apply to as many schools. It worked out because the safety was my employer where the tuition benefit was guaranteed, but it still felt like a kick in the teeth. We have to understand that colleges can’t stay in business if they give away too much of the store. Most kids, no matter how good they are, are not going to get the huge awards. </p>
<p>For everybody who’s waiting on money and looking at alternatives if it doesn’t come through, remember that where our kids go to college probably doesn’t matter. The option we can pay for comfortably is a good option.</p>
<p>This is such an up and down process - good news / bad news / and huh?? news coming in all over the place. So far this week D has learned that 1) she did not receive one the full scholarships at Tulane 2) she was accepted at Westminster Choir College with their highest academic merit award PLUS a “California Travel Grant” of $2000, but was NOT accepted to her first choice major (vocal performance) and 3) Chapman University offered her music merit (hooray!!) but a little less than we were hoping for (boo!!). So many of these schools made it onto her list based on the best possible financial / acceptance scenario, but of course much of the time that scenario is not going to come to pass. She still has two auditions to go, it still seems like a long way to the finish line!! </p>
<p>Reminds me a bit of the Oscars. So many of these great kids nominated, doing their best at interviews and then they watch someone else come up and collect the gold statue. It’s such a random process. go2girl also did not get Emory Scholars or Paul Tulane but has Ingram under her belt at Vandy. She’s withdrawn from scholarship consideration at USC and Santa Clara. She has had a very solid application to all schools but in the end, it is very difficult to understand why some kids move forward and others don’t. jrmama, it sounds like your son really did his due diligence. I am crossing my fingers that good news is around the corner. I have stressed to my daughter that it’s not about “collecting” trophies at this time. If you’re not going to attend, let he school know. There is another kid in the wings who wants and needs this opportunity. </p>
<p>“If you’re not going to attend, let the school know. There is another kid in the wings who wants and needs this opportunity.”</p>
<p>This is really hitting home now that Admissions and scholarship decisions are coming in.</p>
<p>@jrmama496 - I am so sorry. I am hoping that you and your S will receive some encouraging news in the near future. I am trying to prepare myself mentally for upcoming notifications that as RenaissanceMom said, “lots of kids find happiness wherever they land.”</p>
<p>I hope everyone will soon be able to celebrate acceptances that are financially achievable, and that we have nothing but great news going forward! </p>
<p>@GertrudeMcFuzz - definitely a mixed bag, but congratulations on D’s acceptances and merit awards. Hopefully, the final 2 auditions will make the decision an easy one.</p>
<p>@go2mom - it is not surprising that your D won the Ingram with you as her role model. </p>
<p>I recall reading somewhere on CC that most people overestimate the merit aid their child will receive, and underestimate the financial aid. Not so sure the fin aid part is true, but the merit aid part seems to be. Are we to assume that our child will receive no merit aid unless it is an automatic award? Is there a point otherwise when merit aid can be considered likely? A solid HYPM candidate applying to a third tier school? Of course that student may be rejected because it appears to be a clear safety app. So many variables…so hard to predict (no matter how many common data sets one has studied)!</p>
<p>Thanks all for the well-wishes. This one just knocked me down a bit. Probably more me than my S who is more of a “I’ll be fine wherever I go” kind of kid. I’m the worrier. I keep telling my self over and over again that he will end up where he belongs and everything happens for a reason but it’s hard to convince yourself when all you keep thinking is that he deserves to go to a school that he really wants to attend. Ending up at a safety school which is not really what he wants just because we can’t afford his tops choices just doesn’t seem fair after he has worked so hard all of these years. </p>
<p>Just can’t wait for this to be over! </p>
<p>Sorry for sounding so negative. Just having a rough day. [-( </p>
<p>jrmama - sorry to hear of the disappointment on the scholarship. We are arguing with D that even though a couple of her early acceptances are not her first choice schools, she still needs to apply to the scholarship programs as we have no idea what the net family cost will be until the FA packages are issued at the end of the month. I agree with go2mom that if you have the prize in hand, let the other schools know. That notice to the school could result in an RD admission decision or a scholarship for your kiddo or some other child. 
</p>
<p>If the merit aid is competitive, I think it’s best to assume it’s a reach even for HYPM candidates. For example, some schools such as Tulane, CaseWR, and U of Miami, give out 1/2 tuition or $20-30K/year somewhat predictably to top students. However, their full tuition merit scholarships are very competitive even for top candidates. Other merit money from schools like Duke, WashU, Vanderbilt, Emory seem to be high reach and probably more competitive than HYP admission. </p>
<p>@overtheedge that’s what we did. When looking, we assumed no more merit than what was guaranteed for stats. All the schools D applied to would have been doable with that, but we definitely weren’t looking at any school in the 50-60K range. She competed for a bigger award at one (didn’t get it), and the rest were tuition exchange schools. I’d also agree that most families overestimate merit. I know we completely underestimated fin aid at one of the state schools (most outsiders would call it the flagship). I ran the net price calculator and was very surprised. It seems like most of d’s cohort that’s college bound is heading to one of the two big state schools. Aid is very limited, so I assumed (I know, ass of you and me, right?). Well, d’s a minority, and apparently, there’s money for that. Who knew? I didn’t (and since D isn’t into a huge Big 10 experience, it wouldn’t have mattered; however, I did underestimate).</p>
<p>Most of d’s tuition exchange offers have mentioned a waiting list, so she’s been good about declining them well in advance of the deadline, and I truly hope it’s made someone else very happy.</p>
<p>@jrmama I am sorry you are having a rough day. It’s so easy to get “down,” especially when it seems like the people around you are getting such good news all the time. Remember, though, that often those deals sound better than they are. (I’ve had students tell me they have a full ride only to discover they’ve got a bunch of loans. “Full ride” to them apparently meant no money down.) </p>
<p>@AvonHSDad – sort of a similar situation here, although not quite an argument, more like repeated, “Did you finish the application?” D14 has two invites to apply for top honors at schools lower on her list, and no info yet on any of her top schools (all post RD decisions betw March 15 and April 5). I’m relieved that both applications for scholarship/honors programs were completed and submitted, although we won’t know whether she got any of them for a few weeks yet. This wait is nerve wracking!! And I have a feeling the next phase – actual decisions – will be just as bad if not worse, lol</p>
<p>As with life, some of these situations just do not work out the way we think they should work out.</p>
<p>Be glad you have healthy and talented children (or if you are a student, hang in through these trials).</p>
<p>It is nice to grab the brass ring. Sometimes the prize is not what we had hoped, but try to look for the silver lining.</p>
<p>I would just be happy with some acceptances at this point.</p>
<p>Spygirl was accepted to her last choice in-state safety 5 days after applying. This was a month ago. This weekend, she received a nice handwritten note encouraging her to attend. But, she has yet to receive any financial information. </p>
<p>I was realistic about merit, but over estimated fin aid. There is really no excuse for the latter given the net price calculators. My H and I (second marriage) have completely separate finances, and I did not apprise myself early enough in the process of his finances and the impact on my D’s fin aid. Yes, stupid, I know. I knew D would get merit at our in-state safety and that it was doable. I was hoping for, but not counting on, merit at private LACs. I tried to identify schools that give some merit to the top 10-20% of their applicants as 4beardolls mentioned (the list would’ve been much longer had I gotten on CC earlier in the game!). Unfortunately, there is still a big gap between COA after D’s merit and what I can pay. I’m working on Plan B. </p>
<p>I’m glad at least someone has been pleasantly surprised by fin aid!</p>
<p>This is off-topic (and at the risk of sounding stupid - again), what are the tuition exchange programs everyone keeps mentioning on CC? I have never heard of these in my area.</p>