<p>@Maryjay60 When my son graduated, he and all of his friends really appreciated cash! He received and we gave $20 to each of his casual friends. If they were particularly close it was $50 (but there were only a few of those). But really…any amount was appreciated and they typically used the money to buy a computer or other school supplies or for spending money in college. One person did something really cute…she gave each kid $20.13 in honor of the graduation year.</p>
<p>Well much prayers and good vibes are needed in the land of itsv. We were out of town for the last 7 days at our son’s graduation from Ohio State. Twenty minutes after walking in from our son’s graduation celebration dinner, we were notified by neighbors that the police and fire were at our home because water was pouring out of our house.The water line to the upstairs bathroom toliet burst while we were gone and caused major damage to our home. Since I was already feeling very emotional with my son graduating, I asked my DH to deal with it while we were in Ohio. I wanted to enjoy my last few days with my son. Plus I knew I would worry a ton and what could i do 3000 miles away</p>
<p>My DD returned on Tuesday since she had AP exams on Weds. Good friends from her high school are letting her stay with them since she is in the middle of finals and AP exams for the next two weeks. I needed her to have a quiet place to study and we are nomads, being in a hotel right now.</p>
<p>W saw our home for the first time yesterday and the damage is much worse than we thought. Almost our entire downstairs will have to be gutted including the exterior outside wall to our house. Our home is a historical designated craftsman that I have restored for the past 20 years. My blood, sweat and tears are litterally in the walls. Upstairs the bathroom, my office and our staircase will have to be gutted also. </p>
<p>Needless to say it will be at least two months or more before we can live in our house again. I am praying that my DD will get to sleep in her bed at least one night before she heads to college on Aug. 6. I am very heartbroken for my children. This was supposeto be a happy time to celebrate their graduations. Relative are suppose to begin arriving next week. We are suppose to have a graduation party for 150 party. As a parent facing an empty nest I was looking very forward to this time. My D is going into Officer Candidate School and we have no idea where he will stationed. </p>
<p>On Monday they are coming to remove the entire contents of our home. We have to anticipate what we will need for</p>
<p>My remaining comments got cut off for some reason. Here is what I had written. </p>
<p>We have to anticipate what we will need for prom, graduation, college etc. My DD has the best attitude of all of us. She said, “Well this will for sure make packing for college easier.”</p>
<p>I am in a state of denial. I keep on hoping I am in a bad dream where I will wake up. I am not worried about " things" because I know they can be replaced. I am more upset about loss time with my children. Please keep us in your prayers that this whole mess,can be dealt with in a manner that gets our house back to its original state as quickly as possible.</p>
<p>re: orientation – CofC’s seems pretty basic – start at 7:30 am, done at 4, includes tour of all the buildings so you know where you have to go for classes, academic questions, etc. No white water rafting but that’s fine by me.</p>
<p>sad news about graduation – in the spirit of “let’s do this for our son” I emailed H to let him know I had reserved seats for me, him and D at the ceremony then also at the dinner at a local country club where all the seniors and their families go. His response? I don’t want to be at any event where you will be present.</p>
<p>What a prince. I’m trying to figure out how to tell S without bashing his father. I think I’ll go with the truth: Dad isn’t coming because he doesn’t want to be around me right now. It wasn’t going to be easy for me either but I hoped we could be civil to each other for an evening to celebrate your graduation. I’m sorry.</p>
<p>Any other way to say this?</p>
<p>@Maryjay60 We give $20 gift cards to Walmart. Kids can get pretty much whatever they need there for a dorm, or they can just get some gas for summer cruising. FWIW, if you want to do the $20.14 thing, give cash. They Walmart people told me that’s a pain to do on a lot of gift cards (so far, we have 20 invites, so I got a pile of them). </p>
<p>@momreads stats for d today, too, but I don’t think d cares at all if she passes it. The credits would go in as econ credits as low level stats is a business course at her college. She doesn’t need any of those and so has opted not to prep at all. Ok by me.</p>
<p>@istv Oh, no. Water can be so damaging. We had a water heater go on us this year, and its looking like we’ll need a new floor. Can’t imagine the damage done by enough water to pour out of the house.</p>
<p>Prom is Saturday. I need to get my potted plants purchased tonight and out on the deck tomorrow, so things look nice for pictures. Then then my deck is ready for the grad party in a week, too!</p>
<p>@itsv - Yikes! Best of luck getting your house back together. </p>
<p>@itsv so sorry . That is heartbreaking. </p>
<p>@itsv How gut-wrenching. It sounds like your life will be pared down to the essentials for a while, but I’m hoping that you’ll find it an adventure that brings you all closer to each other. </p>
<p>@Classof2015 I’ve seen things go both ways – my husband’s divorced parents continued to share every major holiday together with their children for decades, while one of my parents still, 44 years later, cannot bear to be in the same place as the other. Exceptions were made for weddings but they were not easy. We’ll only have one side with us at their grandson’s graduation (the side that missed both of my own graduations). Best you can do is try to understand everyone’s feelings and hope they understand yours.</p>
<p>@itsv- I am so sorry to hear of this catastrophe. Your kids will roll with it but I get how you feel. Your envisioned plan for this special summer has shifted completely out if whac</p>
<p>Out of whack. Be good to yourself.</p>
<p>( iPhone troubles…)</p>
<p>Wow @itsv that does sound awful. Sometimes when we travel we remember to turn off the water at the main, but not always. Your situation makes it clear why it’s worth remembering that little step. Good luck. </p>
<p>Prom is next weekend here. My D is going with friends, but if she knows the details of who she’s meeting when, she hasn’t shared them. She had her AP Lit exam yesterday, 2 more next week. </p>
<p>Graduation isn’t until June 27, so we haven’t heard of any parties yet. If we’re invited to any of her friends parties, we’ll give cash, $20.14 is a cute idea. </p>
<p>We don’t have family locally (except my mother in the dementia unit) and D said she’d rather go to her friends parties than have me invite long distance people - and I agree - so I think after the grad ceremony we’ll go out to a nice lunch and let her call the shots from there. I’ll just stay home and worry. There are already 2 stories of serious car wrecks during grad week in my family. </p>
<p>@itsv thats devastating for you. Good to know your D is keeping her chin up and has the right attitude. I hope its resolved quickly and as painlessly as possible. Hopefully insurance is cooperating.</p>
<p>@classof2015 thats tough , but I agree honesty is the best policy here, while assuring your S that he is loved regardless of how you and your ex feel about each other.</p>
<p>@itsv so sorry – hope all goes as well as possible getting your house back together!</p>
<p>@classof2015 sorry to hear that your X is not willing to play nice for your DS’s sake :(</p>
<p>@classof2015 - speaking from my own experience with my parents, it’s possible your son will be relieved that Dad’s not coming. Sometimes the tension is thick enough to be felt in those situations & it’s a happier day not having to deal with it. Hopefully Dad will acknowledge his accomplishment some other way?</p>
<p>@itsv I am so sorry for the devastation of your house, and more importantly, your summer plans! Hopefully, you WILL get it taken care of satisfactorily and by contractors, so you can spend most of your time with your family. Perhaps you will be able to make this an adventure of some sort that your kids will talk about for years to come. I can’t even imagine putting so much work into a project/house and have it ruined so suddenly. Prayers for you!</p>
<p>@classof2015 On the topic of orientation, I just highlighted the fun stuff, almost all after dinner. The days are actually filled with business or free time.</p>
<p>@itsv – I just read your post (so wrapped up in my own stuff) – I am so sorry – that sounds awful! It must have been such a shock to come home to. I hope it gets rebuilt soon.</p>
<p>@crowlady - I hope for our kids sakes we’re the ones who can smile and nod for a wedding or special event. I know I can do it; not sure about him.</p>
<p>@overseasmom – good point – I’ll say this isn’t about him – we both love him</p>
<p>@mathmomvt – yeah, kind of sucks.</p>
<p>@GertrudemcFuzz – I was thinking that too – S is pretty sensitive, and if he saw us there, not talking to each other, he’d be tensed for a big scene or fight which would be way worse. I think his dad will do something for him on his own. I hope.</p>
<p>Catching up on all the posts after a few days away. So much has happened!</p>
<p>@calla1 - So sorry to hear about the loss of H’s job. Hope UCSB can adjust the cost and that he finds a job soon</p>
<p>@itsv - Terrible news and what a mess just before graduation. Is there any way you can still hold a party? When you do get the renovation done, be sure they do a thorough job and test for mold. We had a similar event occur at our beach cabin, only the water had been running for 3 weeks. The place was a dump when we bought it and we had just finished cleaning and replacing everything when a compression water valve failed. The walls were literally black and blue with mold. The house had to be taken back down to the studs. 
You will get through this and soon it will be but a memory!</p>
<p>Wednesday night was senior night for Spygirl’s sport, but sadly they lost their game in a nail biter. A lot of “last” events on the horizon. This week and next have mostly been about AP tests. Because her school doesn’t have the facilities, she drives to a nearby university, which means she’s had most of the week off.</p>
<p>Saturday is prom and Spygirl’s BF’s parents are hosting 18 kids for dinner. These are mostly the kids she’s been friends with for four years. I’ll miss the almost as much as Spygirl.</p>
<p>I read Rob Lowe’s article. Aaargh…</p>
<p>@itsv I’m so sorry to hear about your house. Your D is certainly being brave and putting up a good attitude.</p>
<p>@classof2015 I agree that it’s probably better to avoid tension at these events. You’ve done your part by inviting your ex, and it is up to him whether or not he can pull up his big boy pants and deal with it. If he cant, then that speaks volumes about his priorities. </p>
<p>Where is that margarita machine? I think the two of you could use one right about now.</p>
<p>@itsv so sorry to hear about your house. Maybe going through this together will be a good family bonding time. I’ll be interested to hear the positives that come from this – it may not seem so now, but there will be some silver linings.</p>