<p>I headed to the store to get tomato plants and mulch and realized while I was there (around 5 pm) that I hadn’t eaten anything at all today. No wonder I was so exhausted from mowing the lawn. What a goof I can be. I ate when I got home, took a little nap and got up and planted three tomato plants and two pepper plants. I don’t need to plant a lot because I can’t eat them and S14 can only eat so many. By harvest time, I might have an all clear to eat tomatoes though. That would be awesome I also filled containers with annuals and put up the garden flag. My house doesn’t look quite as boring as it did. The rest of the week will be focused on party prep though. </p>
<p>I’m going to be helping my ex do some cleaning at his house tomorrow since the party is there. Tuesday evening after work, I’ll touch up my house since my dad and his wife arrive Wednesday. My daughter gets here Thursday afternoon and I’m off work Thursday and Friday. Thursday night my dad is taking us all out for a nice dinner to celebrate my graduation and my son’s graduation. Friday is graduation. Saturday is the party. Next Sunday I will probably crash!</p>
<p>Scholarship Night last night - surprise! S2 received 2 awards he had applied for but hadn’t expected - one from the school’s Academic Booster Club, another from a local insurance agency. He also received recognition for his AFL-CIO scholarship. His outside scholarship total is now up to $2,250, which is nice. Still waiting to here from about 4, with one app still to go (late June deadline). He realized last night when he saw several friends with similar academic/extracurricular records receiving awards that he had blown off applying for that it might have been worth the extra bit of effort to do some more - especially our local civic club that seemingly awarded $1,200 to all the kids who applied. Oh well, am not going to dwell on that at all, I guess I am just grateful I got him to apply for as many as he did, and that Tulane is footing the bill for about 2/3 of his cost of attendance. He is so over high school at this point. One more week to go for him!</p>
<p>It appears summer has finally arrived. Happy Memorial Day!</p>
<p>D is nearly done. Mentally, I think she has been done for about two weeks when AP’s ended. Bacalaureate (sp) tomorrow evening, graduation rehersal Wednesday and graduation Thursday night. D attended BF’s school prom last night so she has had a busy weekend. Grandparents arrived from overseas on Saturday evening so house is full and busy.</p>
<p>Our flag is proudly flying today in honor of all those who fought to protect this country and particularly for those those who didn’t come home. Are you flying or displaying your flag?</p>
<p>Congratulations to all the graduates and parents of graduates, and all who have received awards and scholarships!</p>
<p>@AvonHSDad - our flag is proudly displayed year round from the flagpole on our front porch. To those on this board who have served our country - THANK YOU for your service! </p>
<p>Congratulations Maryjay60 on the birth of your grandchild!</p>
<p>Congratulations on the new grandbaby, @Maryjay60! @2016BarnardMom, take care of yourself! Slow down and let DS help you or hire it out!</p>
<p>School is finished! DS’ last day was 5/14, prom was 5/17 and graduation was 5/23. DONE!
Now on to the Eagle Scout Court of Honor that we should have done months ago! It is scheduled for 6/1. I’m throwing things together, I hope it will turn out nice.
His orientation is mid-June, then move in will be around 8/7. This summer is going to fly by!</p>
<p>Good luck to those that still have school left. I imagine it must be difficult staying focused since the AP tests have come and gone and they are just killing time now. </p>
<p>This weekend, I took my family to the military base (few hours from us) where I was stationed at. I served the military few years after college and I wanted my kids to see where I was stationed at.</p>
<p>Congratulations to all parents who are done with graduation and senior awards. </p>
<p>And @2016BarnardMom, don’t hurt yourself. I do my own yardwork also but I pace myself when doing them. I don’t care if my grass is a little bit taller than my neighbors’ as long as my HOA doesn’t complain.</p>
<p>My daughter still has 1.5 week of school. It’s funny that when word got out that my daughter is Val, some of my relatives invited themselves to attend her graduation. Also her church buddies and her Youth Pastor wanted to attend also and excited to hear her speak. I’m not sure what I feel about it but I guess, they’re just so proud of her and rightfully so.</p>
<p>I didn’t do a whole lot today- not as much as I’d hoped. Got the laundry done, did a little tidying and cleaning here and then went to my ex’es to do some cleaning. All I really ended up doing there is dusting- but I dusted some places which clearly had not been dusted in years. Yes, you need to pick up that Receiver and DVD player and dust under them every now and then… sheesh. I thought his girlfriend kept the house nice when she was there, but apparently she just handled the surface. </p>
<p>And, here’s the reality of why I’m pushing myself so hard. My dad and (especially) his wife are very critical. In 2003, when I had several feet of intestines removed, they came to stay with me because the kids were little and I was going to be non-functional for at least a couple weeks. Knowing that everything was going to be difficult for a while following surgery, I deep cleaned my house. I cleaned things that I had never cleaned before. The day after my surgery, my dad’s wife didn’t come with him to visit me during the day time visiting hours at the hospital. She came at night and told me she’d spent 6 hours cleaning my house. I couldn’t comprehend what she could have possible cleaned for 6 hours. She makes these little digs that don’t always sound like insults, but it’s pretty clear what she’s saying. One time when they were here, I got home from work and made dinner, including the biscuits from a can. She made a comment at dinner that people love inviting them to dinner parties because she always brings home made dinner rolls. I know cognitively that I should not care what she thinks or says and I should put on my teflon coat and let it slide off of me. Emotionally, I can’t seem to get there. So I am killing myself here to try to fix everything I can and have everything look as good as it can because they will be here Wednesday when I get home from work. I only have one more evening and I have a list of things I want to do that is longer than I have to get it done. And yes, while I was a single mom working full time and going to grad school part time, things were neglected, especially landscaping. While others were out working on their yards, I was doing homework. While others paid for new flooring when their carpet was gross, I was paying tuition for grad school (and now college for the kids!). </p>
<p>I have to stop letting them get to me. I don’t even know why I care. </p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom – I’m so sorry you are subjected to this. I wish I had magic words that could help, but other than to acknowledge your amazing accomplishments and send cyber support, there is not much to do. No matter how much you work, or try to please them, it will never be enough-- because they (she) wants to tear you down so she can feel better about herself. The more you achieve, the more likely she is to try to make you feel small. I would bet she has done little to nothing with her own life. So every time she makes a snide comment, just smile and know she’s just miffed cuz you’ve done more than she ever will. </p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom, oh golly, she sounds like the MIL from you-know-where. Sorry you have to deal with her. And I totally get the less-than-completely-clean house and tuition-depleted checking account. We’re there too, even though I just work full time and am not a student. I can’t work and be an involved mom and keep a clean house. Something has to go, and it’s the house. </p>
<p>I’m never good at thinking of zingers - even after the fact - but I like the ones that sound like compliments until you think about them, and maybe go over the person’s head entirely or throw them off track. I’m toying with something along the lines of sweetly thanking her for whatever she does and adding that you were sure she’d find some way to be helpful. I dunno, something along those lines. Change the dance step a little. At the very least, you might get some amusement from befuddling her, and him as well if your dad participates in this. </p>
<p>Son '14 has three days (including today) left, unless the world caves in and he has to take senior exams. He will definitely be so glad when this is all over. Our holiday weekend included a doctor’s visit. I knew it would happen, too. The kid was hacking up a lung each time he coughed. His nose never stopped running. He thought it was allergies. I saw him pulling on his ear, and knew that was bad. He hadn’t done that since he was a baby. Yes, he has an ear/sinus infection. Got the meds, so hopefully he’s lots better before his regional track meet Friday. </p>
<p>Because he did not feel well, it took every effort to complete his to do list – the one his mom made for him! Lots of e-mails regarding dual enrollment transcripts and thank yous for scholarships (he netted more than $11k in local monies). The entries are up for the regional track meet, and Son '14 is pumped. He’d love a great day … and mild temps.</p>
<p>DS14 is done! Graduation was Sunday afternoon and dinner after with extended family. He doesn’t want anything else so we can finally relax. Unfortunately DS17 is about to start finals at the end of this week/early next week so he’s ramping up. DS14 has a week off before he starts work again and the summer is going to fly as he’s also taking a class and DS17 starts drivers ed. When does the roller coaster end? I need some Dramamine.</p>
<p>It’s 7:29 a.m. and I’m waiting for the painters to arrive. It’s supposed to rain today and tomorrow so I’m hoping they can at least get started on the back of the house, where the party will be held. They are cutting it close and I’m praying to the weather gods that it stays dry through the weekend. </p>
<p>Congrats @Maryjay60 - fantastic news! Nothing like a new baby to make all right with the world.</p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom - You have been busy! I really like @PetraElise’s advice. Just smile and nod, smile and nod and try to let her nasty comments roll off. Since your stepmother likes to clean so much, why not send her over to the ex’s house and let her loose? </p>
<p>Four weeks of school left for DS14. Wednesday he presents his research project, Regional playoffs are Friday, prom is Saturday. There’s no exemption from finals for seniors and they take theirs a week before everyone else (which means classes with mixed years take theirs on senior exam days) though to be honest I don’t know which of his classes will have finals.</p>
<p>Sunday evening we attended a dinner for his old club soccer team. They invited kids who had played for a significant length of time with the team and it was poignant to see these young men and remember back to their early days. We spent a lot of time with these kids and parents, DS having played for this team for six years starting when he was 11. We went through lots of miles on the car, hotel pools, and tournament t-shirts with this crew. We parents joked that next Labor Day, when we find ourselves at loose ends without a tournament, we should have a parent reunion.</p>
<p>Not so far-fetched actually. I get together with the moms from the high school football team every quarter and it’s a tradition for alumni football parents to attend senior night. We can’t let these friendships fall by the wayside just because our kids will be away!</p>
<p>Thanks for the support all. You know, even though they’ve been married for 25 years, I don’t ever call her my step mother. I call her “my dad’s wife”. She does treat my kids really well but they do see her true colors too. When my dad passes, I don’t think I’ll stay in touch with her at all. I’m civil only because she is my dad’s wife and he is happy. I only see them once a year typically. I rarely go to visit them in Florida and they come up here about once a year. I go down every 4 or 5 years. I do end up just smiling and nodding and am always ready for them to leave. Thankfully, they stay in a hotel (one which is never good enough!) and not at my house. I’ll get through it by focusing on the kids and other family at the actual grad party. </p>
<p>I did think about sending her to my ex-husband’s house to clean! </p>
<p>Here’s another story to show what kind of person she is… When I was pregnant my family threw a baby shower. She had a 2 year old granddaughter already. I heard her telling someone they hoped mine was a boy because they already had a granddaughter. Grrrrrrr. Well guess what? I had a BarnardGirl. Her granddaughter is now 22 with 3 kids under the age of 4. </p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom. Sorry to hear of the passive aggressive “SM”. I have the exact same issues with MIL…judginh from your description…they could be the same person! It has been that way for 25 years. Like you, we only see each other once or twice a year. I have learned to just ignore the constant digs and insinuation that everything that I say or do is wrong. Yes, indeed…smile and nod. </p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom, I have a “father’s wife” too. We’re all hoping that she isn’t feeling up to coming to D14’s party followed by the graduation, but we can’t not invite her. </p>
I also filled containers with annuals and put up the garden flag. My house doesn’t look quite as boring as it did. The rest of the week will be focused on party prep though. </p>
so I’m hoping they can at least get started on the back of the house, where the party will be held. They are cutting it close and I’m praying to the weather gods that it stays dry through the weekend. </p>