<p>My son’s high school career is finally over. Graduation was Friday night and was really well done and enjoyable. His class has some amazingly smart, funny and talented kids, including the val and sal, both of whom gave really entertaining speeches. The students pranked our extremely good natured principal (who also gave a touching and amusing speech) by each putting a round sticker on his suit as they shook hands on the way to the podium. He looked hilarious by the end. The entire class each smuggled in a deflated beach ball which they inflated and tossed up on cue (they were told, “No beach balls!”). Despite his extreme senioritis in the last 6 weeks, S2 managed to maintain his top 10% status and was called up to receive his award for that (he was #12). We live in a small Texas town, and most kids don’t venture very far from home for college, but this class is different. Many are going out of state, to every corner of the country. They also doubled the scholarship offers of the previous class; like I said before, a very talented and special group, and some super nice kiddos. S2 went to the big all night lock in graduation party at a nearby huge activity center - they had every activity under the sun ther, and from the looks of the pictures, they all had a great time. He came home, slept a few hours and then went with 3 close football team friends to the coast. One kid’s mom rented a condo for the boys as her son’s graduation present, right on the beach (they have a tiny place right nearby), and they are all there relaxing and having a great time before starting their summer jobs next week. It was a very sweet gesture, and I think it is actually a great thing for S2. He has worked hard this year at school, college and scholarship applications, sports and volunteer work, plus holding down a 20 hour a week job. I realized he rarely has just relaxed without a looming deadline in a long time, and that’s important once in a while. He found out last week that he got in to his choice of dorm (it is one that required an application and a couple essays, since it is a residential college type dorm) and is looking forward to school starting in the fall. I am breathing the looonnng exhale, as this was my youngest. I feel a tinge of wistfulness about it all, but it has been a great ride raising all 3, and now I will refocus for the first time in 25 years on my own interests and desires. I know I will cry when I drop him off, but at the same time I feel an incredible sense of accomplishment. I have raised 3 children well; all have gone off to wonderful schools and are pursuing interesting unique paths. All 3 are nice people. They have already accomplished so much more than my husband or I ever did. We each had zero guidance and had to stumble through it all; I feel like my kids, whatever they end up achieving, have started from a better, more prepared place. Now it’s up to them! Congrats to all here and your kiddos as well. We know what goes into it, and it is a mutual ongoing effort!</p>
<p>GRADUATION PARTY etiquette question!
My daughter has been invited to a couple of joint graduation parties by kids she knows. She thinks that they are kids parties, not family+kids parties, but is not sure. She was invited to by word of mouth or in a casual facebook message, not with an actual mailed invitation. What is the protocol for gifts in such a situation? She asked one friend who has older siblings and she said, no, you’re not expected to bring a gift. Is it really more the adults who bring gifts to these things?
Thank you :)</p>
<p>In our part of the country, when kids go to kid parties, they usually put a Starbucks card, iTunes card, $10 or $20 in a card for a gift. I bought a bunch of graduation cards and have them set aside with some money for my S to take to the Facebook parties. </p>
<p>So glad you asked that @staceyneil as my D also had 5 or 6 facebook invites. I need her to look at them again to see if parents are included, and if they are we will gladly bring a cash or gift card gift. But if it’s just her, and I assume 50-100 of her closest friends 
going and husband and I don’t know these kids, I never would have thought to send a gift. </p>
<p>Thanks for your input too Felicita, May I ask, were these close friends of your student?</p>
<p>I have heard of the same. If only kids go, most don’t bring gift. The kids go to a lot of parties and only stay for a little while then go to the next one. But if adults go, then they should bring gift (money, gift cards). </p>
<p>These are usually kids who my kids know pretty well through sports or school. When S13 graduated, he received a lot of $5 Starbucks cards! ;)</p>
<p>We had this discussion last night as S14 was opening his cards. The closest of friends give gifts but all the random kids who stop in don’t. The freshman who come usually include a card and some money because they don’t know yet. When my D graduated, she and her close friends agreed as a whole not to do gifts for each other because they realized they’d just be giving the same money right back again so it didn’t make any sense. The parents who came did give gifts. </p>
<p>@Moonmaid I’m feeling the same way. I have two really great kids who accomplished so much and I’m just so proud of them and, although I know parenting is never really done, I feel like I’ve achieved a major milestone. I think the parenting shifts from “parent who is responsible for them” to “parent who is a trusted guide and a friend”. </p>
<p>Wait until you all go to orientation! It really becomes clear you are handing the reins over to your kids. We did tell our daughter, this is now your opportunity to make the most of your time here. We can no longer fix things or intervene and you will now be responsible completely for yourself. </p>
<p>We missed the big party day as we got hit with a nasty stomach bug. I wouldn’t expect for my d to give or receive gifts at these parties.</p>
<p>And she’s done!</p>
<p>We had Baccalaureate Mass Tuesday night, she had her Senior Memory Night on Wednesday and Graduation was Friday afternoon. I can’t believe it’s all over except for the (many!) parties! She and her co-Val both gave wonderful speeches as did the Sal. They each wrote very different speeches which somehow seemed to coordinate with each other despite no prior planning. Both ceremonies were really wonderful and I managed not to cry (major accomplishment for me!) at least until the school president was speaking at the end about letting go! The sun came back and it was beautiful when we went outside after graduation and we were able to take lots of pictures with teachers, friends and relatives. One of her friend’s mother’s had arranged for a private room in a local restaurant where six girls and their families were able to all have dinner together. It was great as each family had a table and yet the girls were all able to visit with each other. And the cost of the private room was minimal when split amongst the families.</p>
<p>Last night we attended the first grad party for a friend who had graduated from another school Friday night. It was so nice to get together will all her hometown friends and their families and celebrate but not have to do the work! Our time will come later in the summer and we’ll attend many in between! As far as grad gifts, I bought special gifts for her closest friends (there’s a group of 6 of them) and will give checks to the other girls in the neighborhood who’s parties we attend. Any party that only she is invited to she will bring a card herself or do something special for that friend if she wants to. When DS’11 graduated, he went to many parties on his own and never brought a gift or card. And the friends who came to his didn’t bring anything either. It was only when parents were invited that gifts were brought. Unfortunately there are a couple of her good friends who are having parties the weekend of my college reunion so I won’t be able to attend. In that case, I will just send DD along with the gift/card as we were invited but can’t attend.</p>
<p>On another note - are anyone else’s kids sleeping REALLY long hours now that they’re done?! DD has always generally been an early riser (8:30-9:00 is late for her) and is sleeping 10-12 hours a night lately. I’m hoping she’s just catching up on lost sleep and isn’t getting sick!</p>
<p>@staceyneil Grad party gifts usually come from the adults. A few very close friends may bring personal or inside joke gifts, but all the classmates and underclass men invited via Facebook bring nothing. Even at $5, that would get awfully expensive for the kids. So, kids come and eat and move on to the next place. If we invited the whole family through an invitation in the mail, mom and dad can bring a gift if they come. </p>
<p>Ok, who else is ready for the summer work schedule to begin? Oh, me, MEEEEEE!</p>
<p>D has been playing since graduation. Been whip cracking so she gets her thank you’d written (still not done), but that kid needs something productive to do and something that forces a schedule on her. Training next week, but only a few days of it, and work stats the 9th. </p>
<p>Thanks, everyone, for confirming what I suspected about graduation party gifts :)</p>
<p>Today was Graduation Sunday at our church. The pastor presented three graduates, including Son '14, with a lovely gift bag that contained a book of Biblical readings and a $15 Wal-Mart gift card. Then, the church ladies provided a wonderful luncheon. We sat with another family whose daughter just graduated from UVa and hopes to attend medical school. So glad that Son '14 could attend this. This marks the third Graduation Sunday we’ve attended as guests, and it’s always nice (Older son went with his high school and college graduations).Originally, Son '14 had to work, but the game he was scheduled to referee got moved to later in the day, so he could enjoy all the food and fun. We’ve already put together the thank-you note and will mail it sometime this week.</p>
<p>All of this after he got up early to run eight miles in the cool morning air.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, I figure that since Son '14 does not have to return to school except for graduation practice later in the week and track practice for states, I’ll come up with a small to-do list. That would help me out lots. I’ve spent a lot of the weekend cleaning this or tossing that out. Maybe he can start to go through the things he no longer wants.</p>
<p>Wow, all these graduations and we just had prom on Saturday! Which I survived, as you can tell since I am writing this post. It was preceded on Friday with a regional playoff game for DS, which was decided on penalty kicks (they won) and very stressful. </p>
<p>Then prom, with the girls looking so lovely, and the boys so handsome. It was a funny sight at our country club with more than a dozen parents there taking photos. Someone actually took a photo of the photographers since it looked like a movie premiere with all the paparazzi! After over an hour of pictures, they boarded a party bus complete with a neon light floor for dinner at Ruth’s Chris, and then to the actual prom venue. After prom party was at a friend’s house, complete with DJ, body paint, more neon lights, and “bouncers” (aka parents) to make sure no uninvited guests showed up. All seniors stayed the night but I pity the poor parents of the underclassmen and outside guests who had to come pick them up in the wee hours of the night.</p>
<p>Tonight is the next round of regional playoffs. Hopefully the 14 hours of sleep DS got last night helps him play well!</p>
<p>S14 got his official “sorry there’s no room for you” letter from Brown. Thankfully he has been starting to embrace the University of Michigan. On the bright side, he put in 40 job applications last week and got two calls for interviews today. He has both interviews tomorrow. This would be his first job. He has done things for people to earn money- like mow his grandpa’s lawn, shovel snow, etc. but he hasn’t had an official job. </p>
<p>He is in a panic about what to do if the interview in the morning offers him a job on the spot. I’ve given him some words to use to ask for a day or two to respond. That one is just a slight step above fast food. The afternoon interview is retail- the store where he buys the vast majority of his clothes- and he LOVES clothes. I also reminded him that if each place only needed him for 15 hours or so, he could do both if they’ll work out scheduling. I told him to ask about opportunities to transfer to a store near school and whether that’s ever possible. </p>
<p>40 job applications? That’s impressive, @2016BarnardMom! So far we haven’t run that gauntlet. S started his summer internship today. It went well but now that he’s commuting with me he knows why I’m so tired at the end of a 12-hr day (1.5 hrs commuting down to DC each way). </p>
<p>We’re still dealing with thank you notes. And various boxes to tick for fall semester.</p>
<p>Awww…BarnardMom - what a great kid. The truth is so many jobs are found through contacts so many times. He will find his people and thrive. </p>
<p>My daughter is working for my company this summer. I think it’s good for her to understand where it’s all been coming from all these years. When making long term plans for ourselves neither one of my kids wants to be groomed to take it over. Hope they don’t regret that down the road. </p>
<p>Congrats Akmom124 - sounds lovely!</p>
<p>Agree with you guys on the gifts - when we as parents go to the parties, we bring a graduation card with a personal note and include either a Starbucks or Target gift card. We bought a bunch of them. Attended a party of our DS’s classmate - they have played baseball, basketball, and soccer together since they were 4-year-olds. That one hit home.</p>
<p>DS got a job! I told him that was no small achievement in this economy - he walked away from the in-state scholarship for the out-of-state private, so he has to put in the hours this summer and during the school year to make it work. He gets it.</p>
<p>D is still in the mad dash to finish her coursework by Thursday. She’s working on her final AP lit project. It counts for a huge portion of her grade so I understand she wants to do well, but the clock is ticking down. My attitude is just get it done already!! She is such a perfectionist though - which can be a real problem - it’s hard for her to sacrifice quality in the interest of time.</p>
<p>D is working as a nanny this summer. The kids are older so I don’t think it will be too physically taxing on D. Mainly, running the kids back and forth from activities, supervision and food prep. She’s had the job lined up since March. Her employer is friends with a couple she babysits for often, and called her about the job. She has been a junior counselor at summer camp before and she’s great with kids so people tend to seek her out. </p>
<p>D is also continuing her part-time job as a personal assistant to an elderly couple. She’s been working a few hours a week for this couple for several years now. The other day she told me she was sad she has to leave them, and is hoping to find someone to recommend to them to fill her position. They’re as fond of her as she is of them. </p>
<p>Still 2 more weeks of school for D, they are just spinning their wheels at this point. She is actually home today, there is some state testing for other students (like S17) but you only have to go in if you have an exam. Instead she can finish up the required volunteer hours for economics/govt class.</p>
<p>She just got called for her first job interview, she’s previously just picked up informal under the table work. This job would be great experience wise, but it’s only 6 hours a day and it doesn’t start until July 18. She leaves for college Aug. 18. It’s helping with a summer childrens program at a museum, and since she’ll be a museum studies major, seems like a good fit. We told her to be honest about when she has to leave, and hopefully they’ll consider working around it. And she needs to keep looking for additional work. </p>
<p>Congrats to all the recent graduates, scholarship winners and job-finders. Such an exciting time for our teens. </p>