Parents of the HS Class of 2014

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
14001

<p>DS <em>finally</em> decided that it’s time to start thinking about packing; he IM’d me that he’s picked out the clothes he wants to take and is doing laundry. Also ordering glasses (been on the ‘to do’ list for weeks, now he’ll have to have them sent to his dorm room), signing up for his Costco membership (I gave him a gift membership when he turned 18, he has to go there and turn the gift card into a real membership card), picking up his yearbook (they are JUST coming in, our school is SO lame…), etc.</p>

<p>But the absolutely best news is that he had a ‘Skype’ interview yesterday for the P/T job he really wants (computer-related) and just found out that he’s HIRED! So fast! It sounded like they really want him on board. I’m so happy for him (and it’s such a relief to me to know that the job thing is taken care of, and he’s HAPPY with it, phew!). Wow. (So glad I prodded him into applying early, from afar - honestly, it was another CC student’s post, noting that she had applied and gotten a work-study job at the same university a few weeks ago, that alerted me to the possibility - CC wins again.)</p>

<p>(Now if my copier here at work hadn’t just failed spectacularly at the absolute WORST time, I might be able to relax a little and start to get ready for the trip myself. Oh, well, my assistant will be in shortly, and she’ll take all of our copying over to UPS and get it done. I don’t know what I’d do without her. And in a little more than 48 hours we’ll be in the air, and what doesn’t get done before then, will just have to wait.)</p>

14002

<p>Congrats to all those who have successfully launched! I’ve been keeping up with reading but not posting recently but I’m so glad to hear that they’re doing well - especially those who had a rough time at first! And I’m happy to hear that the kids are keeping in touch!</p>

<p>DD launches on Saturday and I’m hoping I can keep it together! Her best friend left last Monday but she was able to see her a couple of days ago and that was great. Two more BFFs leave tomorrow, which will be very hard! Last night she had one last get together which turned into a Bachelor in Paradise viewing for the kids and five of us mom’s hung out together also. Two had launched theirs already - one her first and one her last so we all had a lot of support. The funniest thing was overhearing the girls trying to explain the Bachelor to the guys who don’t watch it!</p>

<p>DS’11 leaves sometime tomorrow (once he’s all packed up) and then on Thursday and Friday DD and I can focus on organizing and packing her all up! And we can use his room for some of the organizing! The poor dog will be beside himself when DD leaves. He’s used to DS’11 coming and going as that’s all he knows (we got him six weeks after DS left for school after our other dog passed) but DD has always been home or come home after only a few days away. He’s definitely not going to be letting me out of his sight for a while!</p>

14003

<p>I haven’t posted in a while (details below), but I’ve been keeping up. It’s wonderful to have this community to share both the joy and the tough times that we all go through as we get these kids off to school, while simultaneoudly dealing with day-to-day life.</p>

<p>Our son has been successfully launched at Emory, but it certainly did not go as scripted.<br>
We have two grown kids (and several grandkids) in Maine, and the original plan was that we would pack S14 up (here in CA), all fly to Maine for a family visit, and then a week or so later fly down to Atlanta to get him moved in. Shortly after we got to Maine, my wife’s mother (five hours north in New Brunswick) had a heart attack. My wife went up there immediately. Sadly, her mother died a few days later. At least my wife was able to get there quickly, which certainly would not have happened if we were back home (and involved with school/work). She was with her at the end, helped with the funeral arrangements, and was able to be there with her family for a couple of days after that.</p>

<p>On Monday of last week, shortly after my wife had left for Canada, S14 flew on his own to Atlanta (ahead of S16 and me) for a four-day pre-move-in outdoor trip. S16 and I flew down on Thursday with 80 lbs of S14’s stuff. Unfortunately our plane out of Portland, ME left late, and we missed our connection in Newark. There were no seats on any Atlanta flights out of Newark, so United flew us to O’Hare. Shortly after we landed in Chicago the airport was closed because of massive thunderstorms. All incoming and outgoing flights were delayed. When it was all said and done it took us fourteen hours to fly from Maine to Atlanta. An incredible waste of a day.</p>

<p>The good news is that S14 had a wonderful time on his outing. Bonded with a number of the kids. We picked him up on Friday and moved him in on Saturday. We REALLY missed my wife. S14 said to me, “No offense Dad, but if I had to pick one parent to move me in it would have been Mom.” He missed her unqualified support, and her ‘touch’ in terms of setting up his room. We ultimately got it done. S16 was incredible – assembled everything that needed assembly (desk lamp, clip-on fan, etc.), put the pens, pencils, and markers in the desk caddy, and hauled out all the trash, and more. . . S14 had met his roommate on the Facebook admitted student page, and they clicked immediately. His roommate is a great kid. Obviously a serious student, but not nerdy/geeky. They have a lot in common. I think it’s a great match.</p>

<p>S14 got closed out of several courses he wanted to take, but he worked it out with his advisor. Classes start tomorrow.</p>

<p>He has often struggled socially, but seems very relaxed and confident right now. I miss him quite a bit. And his Mom is suffering the loss of both her mother and is missing her son. She’s sad that she never really got to give him a formal hug goodbye. But we’re thrilled that it’s so far so good.</p>

14004

<p>Got S14 successfully moved in yesterday. His roommate had an earlier time and was not in the room when we arrived but we met him today. They seem to be a good match. Made it through parent orientation today and he will have orientation sessions all week, class starts Sept. 3rd. Did the hug goodbye this afternoon. He’s so comfortable, it was easy and I didn’t even cry! We fly back to California tomorrow where S15 is busy with 2-a-day practices for his fall sport and hanging out with Grandma. Overall a very successful launch. :slight_smile: </p>

14005

<p>@asleepatthewheel What a double whammy for your wife, and indeed your whole family. Sounds like a frustrating journey but a happy ending with your S16 helping. We had our S16 with us too and we were all competing for S14’s time. They are so close that when they are together they really just want us to go away so they can talk about their video games in peace. </p>

<p>Now S14 seems to be settling in just fine and I think S16 craves conversation. He’s even willing to have it with us! We’ve had some great, meaningful conversation already. </p>

<p>S14 gives us good reports on two days of classes, and he’s checked out both juggling and ultimate frisbee clubs. Seems that he’s surrounded by gamers and is choosing more active extracurriculars. For now!</p>

14006

<p>@AsleepAtTheWheel‌ - I’m sorry for your family’s loss. It sounds like your S is very mature and independent, and made the best of a difficult situation. Hugs to your wife. </p>

<p>@akmom124‌ - our dog misses D a lot too. I am reviving a tradition from D’s summer camp days. I used to send her a letter from the dog. They were always a big hit at camp (got the idea from the K9 advantix commercial). I think the nostalgia of it will give D a good laugh.</p>

14007

<p>@Overtheedge‌ My grandfather used to send me letters from our pets when I was at camp :)</p>

14008

<p>For the last thirty years at Emory, Marshall Duke, a professor of psychology, has given a talk to the parents with advice on how to let go. This year’s talk was his last. It was wonderful, both humorous and practical. If anyone’s interested, here’s a somewhat condensed version:</p>

<p><a href=“Starting College: A Guide for Parents in 2014 | HuffPost College”>HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost;

14009

<p>^^ thank you. I am totally losing it. This helped though I am now in tears </p>

14010

<p>Last night’s text-question-with-one-word-response:
Me:
Are you happy?
Her:
Very.</p>

14011

<p>@oldmom4896: Perfect!</p>

14012

<p>@Evergreen1929 – One piece that was in the talk, but is not in the article was his suggestion(s) of what to say in that once-in-a-lifetime conversation when you say goodbye to your child as you leave. Don’t give them advice. He recommended that you tell your child how much you love them, how proud you are of them, how thoroughly confident you are in their success, and how you hope that they’ll get to do everything that they want to do (in what will be four of the best years of their life).</p>

<p>I typed this all up in a letter the night before we said goodbye, but I was actually able to deliver it in person. I asked our younger son (S16) to give S14 and me a few minutes together in his dorm room right before we left. We sat opposite each other in the two desk chairs and I got almost all of it out before I teared up. He listened, and he was fine. What was truly touching was immediately afterwards when my two boys, who argue and fight constantly, said goodbye to each other the two of THEM got tearful. No tears actually rolled down any cheeks, but it was close.</p>

14013

<p>@Evergreen1929 Sometimes they cry. It just depends on the kid. BarnardGirl did - both freshman and sophomore years. She didn’t this year (junior year). </p>

<p>@AsleepAtTheWheel I’m so sorry to hear about your wife’s loss, especially at such a difficult time. Both losses together are going to be rough for her. </p>

<p>24 hours until the car has to pull out of the driveway. He has to pack his clothes but everything else has been ready for a while. He took a suitcase to Dad’s house to pack those clothes and will head to my house to do those clothes at some point today, I think. </p>

14014

<p>Haven’t posted for quite awhile, yet faithful reader/lurker I have been.</p>

<p>Last week dropped off DS at Tulane after flying down on Thursday and experiencing the same weather-related flight delays/cancellations going through Chicago as @AsleepAtTheWheel. Move-in, into a beautiful new dorm, was excellently coordinated by Tulane and FedEx, making the experience fairly painless. We did the usual Bed, Bath, Beyond pickup with a run through Walmart to get an inexpensive bike. And, yes, we did leave “the letter” when we departed…mostly love and pride, but I couldn’t resist at least a little advice. DS very happy with his randomly assigned roomie and his initial start to semester classes were so far, so good. DS seems to be making good independent choices…switching into an alternative Calculus class when the initial instructor was very difficult to understand (speech, not material presented), got tickets for the first home football game in their new stadium next week, and last evening attended a dinner for a group of students awarded merit scholarships. DS has expressed some mild feelings of missing home (especially his devoted dog), but is working through it and seems to be happy for the most part. </p>

<p>On another note, I am really saddened for the parents and families of the Case Western students tragically killed in the airplane crash. I can not even imagine their pain. DS almost went to Case, and I am an alumni. </p>

14015

<p>@Evergreen1929‌ my observation is that <em>most</em> of the students don’t cry, but some do. It will be ok either way, but it was heartbreaking to walk past a mom and daughter in the throes of a very teary goodbye when I dropped of DS14! If she cries, it doesn’t mean that she won’t be ok, or isn’t ready or anything like that. Some people are just more emotional about transitions like this than others. </p>

<p>Good luck to all those about to launch!</p>

<p>My S started classes on Monday, and has a fair bit of work already, but seems to be settling in well. He has a small group of friends to play D&D with (a major goal of his :wink: ), a subset of whom he did a bunch of homework with yesterday as well. His Tuesday schedule is logistically challenging because of the locations of the classes, but we came up with a way to mitigate that somewhat (buying lunch with points instead of also trekking to an unlimited dining hall). MWF are pretty light (only 2-3 hours of classes) and I think that once he gets into the rhythm of things, the scheduling will all work out nicely for him with alternating light and heavy days. </p>

14016

<p>The deaths of the Case students is very sad. DS didn’t know any of the boys but some of his new friends at Case had met one of the freshmen. That same boy hailed from the DC area and turns out to have had a couple of mutual friends with DS. They never crossed paths either here or at school though.</p>

14017

<p>My DD hasn’t been away from us for more than 5 days her entire life. She was very scared and really getting cold feet as we drove her to school 600 miles from home. She went to a 5 day outdoor program right before orientation and school. We saw her afterward and we could not believe the difference. When we left her 2 days later no tears except for my DH and she’s kept it together since then. I am dumbfounded. Never would we ever have expected such a confident and secure launch. I know the bumps are coming but she launched like a pro.</p>

14018

<p>Successful launch on our end made easier by a double orientation and being away from home for most of the summer. We arrived first for the pre-orientation service program and did the move-in and family sessions for this and and then 5 days later went through the regular orientation. I think this made it much easier to say good bye. The kid was more than happy to saunter off on the next great adventure and is an extrovert among extroverts. Great room mate (met on Facebook) with a wonderful family- we really enjoyed hanging out with them during the parent sessions of orientation. </p>

<p>School is 600 miles away from home, but I suspect there will be little to no homesickness. The kid is already involved in a Club Sport and some academic and arts organizations. Three days into school and already has had 4 meetings. Hopefully the term “balance” will become a mantra… </p>

14019

<p>Talked to D today. She had her first day of class. Everything is going well. She made a strategic schedule change and picked up her new bike from the bike shop. She said “Mom, I’m so happy here!” </p>

14020

<p>Sent DS’11 off to his senior year and DD worked her last day today. Now we can focus on getting her packed up!</p>