<p>DS launched this weekend also. We are back home now and feeling fairly confident. We walked onto his floor with him and a group of guys hanging in the hall all greeted him by name. He chatted with them a bit and then joined us in his room. We let him lead with the goodbye and I was only granted a fist bump (ok 2), I asked for a hug but it wasn’t in the cards. He’s never been a hugger (even as a small child so it was a long shot). Keeping it light and not a big goodbye helped us all and I know I’ll see him soon. Hoping to get some texts at least even if they are random and about needing money!</p>
<p>I just got the kind of text nobody wants (no, not terrible, just expensive!): “Just had a mini coffee accident. Goint to IT to check out my computer since it’s not turning on right now.” The computer was purchased when she started high school but I wasn’t planning on replacing it just now!</p>
<p>It’s been a while that I didn’t post here. But I’ve been diligently reading all the posts.</p>
<p>It’s been more than a week since we launched my D14. We had fun driving around NY/NJ/MA/Maine area prior to that, but my younger daughter (she’s 8) got sick and had high fever on our last few days. In fact she was the one who was really crying when we were saying our goodbyes. She wanted to stay longer to spend time with her big sister. On our way from the airport to home and when we got home, she was crying again. But she’s OK now. I created her an email account and she and D14 are sending emails to each other. </p>
<p>D14 is very happy at her school. She’s making friends. Her roommate is also from SoCal and brought her longboard. My D14 is very good at longboard also and they’re teaching non-SoCal kids how to ride it. Her own word when I talked to her yesterday: “I like it here.”</p>
<p>I cleaned the refrigerator today and threw away everything that I can’t eat that will be bad by the time either kid is home again. I pulled out the shelves and drawers and cleaned the whole fridge. It looks pretty now 
</p>
<p>I stopped by my son’s dorm today to drop off a coax cable, some of his textbooks that were delivered to the house and a half open bag of nacho chips that will be stale by the time he gets home if he didn’t eat them at school. It was a quick stop- I didn’t even park. I pulled up in front of the dorm and he was waiting outside. He said all was going good and thanked me for making the drop. </p>
<p>Then I went to the grocery store. I’ve been doing really well until I went to the grocery store. I wandered around the store completely lost. I bought some steaks. I bought some lunch meat. Then I stared at the other meats. Will I bother to make salisbury steak or meatloaf for myself? Will I bother to cook up porkchops? What am I going to do about meals, eating for one? I started to have a little panic attack and started to tear up. I think I bought way more than I need but I wasn’t sure how I’m going to do this. What will my routine be? I have no idea. Maybe I’ll come home from work and eat ramen noodles or something. I just don’t know. I did buy some ravioli and tortellini. I might have bought enough food to last a month. I bought a quart of milk. Not a half gallon, a quart. I rarely use it unless I’m making an omelet or french toast or baking something. I might throw half of it away but if I don’t buy it, I’ll need it for something. </p>
<p>I’m ok now, but in that moment in the grocery store, I felt very lost and very freaked out. After 20 years, I don’t know how to eat for one. </p>
<p>2016BarnardMom, my sympathy and empathy! I have been trying to figure that out too. I have been steaming broccoli for myself and eating it with Italian salad dressing, and pan-frying chicken cutlets. But for sure next time I buy the family pack on sale, I will freeze them one in each bag instead of two! I also bought a bunch of Lean Cuisine meals that were on sale last week at the supermarket. But it’s just not the same!</p>
<p>Also, I stayed home and did nothing on Friday and Saturday. Big mistake! I got up and out of the house and had lunch with a friend today and I feel so much better!</p>
<p>Grocery shopping has been hard for us, too. I kept buying cereal after the oldest left. It was months before I realized no one else in the house ate cereal. By then I had quite a collection of unopened boxes. H and ia were at the store Friday night. We bought very little and I still wonder how much will get thrown out. </p>
<p>Yikes, oldmom – by any chance did you get the dorm insurance? That would cover replacement of the laptop if it’s fried.</p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom – Ugh. Being lost in the supermarket is emblematic of what we’re all going through right now. Tougher for you no doubt because it’s your youngest kid, and you’re otherwise on your own. It must be so hard to come home to an empty house after two decades of raising your kids. And the thought of your upcoming surgery probably doesn’t elevate your mood very much either. I’m sorry. </p>
<p>If it’s any comfort, think of it as your being a victim of your own success. You’ve raised two independent and accomplished kids. Had you been less successful you might still have them around, but that’s not what you wanted. There will be a period of re-adjustment, but given the various storms you’ve already weathered it’s a good bet that once that’s done you’ll have all sorts of joy in your life. For all of us being a parent has to a large extent defined who we are. My memory is that you just got that fancy-pants new degree, and are essentially launching a new career. You’re just re-arranging the different pieces of who you are, but my guess is that it’s not the first time you’ve had to sort of re-invent yourself. Not that it makes it any easier, but you know that you’ll get there. Lots of hugs from all of us here!!</p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom _ I have to accept that S likes to spend time alone…hasn’t responded to my txt but he did respond to a txt from H - I am just glad we are hearing from him…He also agreed to a face time call but we did not set up a time… </p>
<p>@2016BaltimoreMom and @oldmom - I know how you feel about cooking for one. I spent the last 8 months in Providence and then in CT on my own during the week. I would buy hot food at Whole Foods for dinner and sometimes would add a salad. It gave me a variety with having to cook for one. I also bought a small crockpot that made enough for dinner with left overs. If you like to cook you might try BlueApron. They deliver the ingredients for 3 or more meals ( and recipes) for two - you could have left overs or invite a friend over to cook with you. I started getting BlueApron for H an S while I was away and they really liked it - H and I have continued using it. It seems expensive at first but it cuts down on the waste and they only send you what you need for each meal. ( I just found out my brother is also using Blue Apron -a friend referred him)…From time to time I get an offer to send a week of free meals to a friend and just got one. If anyone is interested - just send a private message…</p>
<p>Yesterday …H and I went to an Art show at Fort Williams. H is an artist but no longer does the summer Art shows. We bought a painting! We have wanted to collect other Artist work and before yesterday had only bought original Art work from one other artist. We decided to buy the painting for our 20th anniversary present to each other…It is a large painting 18 by 48 - contemporary realism. It is awesome!..talk about a mood lifter…I decided to sit back and let S contact me and have convinced myself ( with help from H) that everything will be OK…</p>
<p>@oldmom - I am sorry about the laptop and hope it is repairable…</p>
<p>Congratulations to all the successful launches! I am hopeful that it will work out for all our children! </p>
<p>Last night my daughter texted that the laptop revived! It lives! I guess that when the tech people opened it up, they cleaned it up too, and daughter said it was a very small amount of coffee. Whew!</p>
<p>I know that we are on borrowed time with this laptop–it was purchased when she started high school. But good not to have to worry about it right this minute!</p>
<p>Glad it survived, oldmom, now you have time to shop around, maybe even get a Black Friday deal. </p>
<p>I still have a teen son at home, so no problem with buying or cooking too much. We did have some steak leftovers from last night’s dinner, until he decided steak and eggs would be a good breakfast. Meanwhile D14 is figuring out where she likes to eat on campus, and how to use up the 5 weekly cafeteria meals in her plan. She doesn’t particularly like the cafeteria and is looking forward to changing her plan for next semester. I told her that’s one more incentive to pass everything this fall so she’ll have soph status and can change it. </p>
<p>There have been a lot of one word texts, but Skype is a wonderful thing. Nice long visit last night, and she volunteered that she has a lot of free time on Thursdays. </p>
<p>Today is a better day My BarnardGirl called last night just to chat. That was nice. She didn’t need anything and wasn’t having a meltdown. She just wanted to talk. That’s new for her…lol. </p>
<p>Oldmom- I’m glad the laptop survived! </p>
<p>Good news on the laptop, Oldmom. That’s one less expense you’ll have right now. Spygirl is also at college with a high school era laptop. The piece on the bottom came off, so she bought a cute cover so I’m hoping that will help stall off any more laptop related disasters. </p>
<p>The roommate situation for Spygirl has not improved. Quite the opposite actually as matters have taken a turn for the worse. They no longer speak to each other. :(</p>
<p>DD is friendly, outgoing, and gets along with everyone, even those people she’s not particularly fond of. But for whatever reason, she detests her roommate and the feeling appears to be mutual. And it didn’t help matters that a friend of roommates stole some candy Spygirl had just purchased for a project.</p>
<p>This is one of those situations where she needs to figure things out for herself. I just listen and keep my mouth shut. </p>
<p>To those parents who have no one home with them, my suggestion regarding dinner is to buy a George Foreman grill. I make ham steaks, chicken, almost anything one it. That and some veggies, and I’m good to go. My house also does not get too hot when I use it.</p>
<p>Heard from one of my son’s roommates’ moms. She and her husband are hosting the freshmen cross country runners for a cookout today. Steak and shrimp. Lots of veggies and desserts. Looking forward to hearing about it from my son, who will have his fill of steak! Meanwhile, my son called Friday night. Likes his classes – still. Had homework to do, so he is grateful for the day off from classes. Still had practice, though. He ate the tray of brownies I sent him, and he is not opposed to more goodies from home. I’m sure I’ll hear from him sometime this week, maybe walking back to his dorm following his night classes.</p>
<p>Argh, @Agentninetynine, what a frustrating situation! Hopefully Spygirl will go to the school’s Res Life office soon and discuss with them. At the parent orientation at my D’s school they discussed this sort of thing, emphasizing over and over that if our kids related issues like this we should encourage them to talk to the RA or Res Life office immediately, before things get worse. Apparently they are very well-versed in helping mediate and get roommates to talk things through, using it as a teaching moment and good learning opportunity for life skills. But what a bummer for your daughter… and for you to have to worry about it!</p>
<p>I was a second-semester freshman and the girl I got paired with was also difficult. i do not think we spoke more than a couple to words to each other the whole semester. I wonder now what the story was with her… why wasn’t her original fall roommate still there? Anyway - I did get through the semester, just hung out in my friend’s room across the hall, but it soured me on roommates for a while, I think. I requested a single the next year! Which is too bad since I think the roommate experience can be a terrific one. </p>
<p>This makes me count my blessings that my daughter and roommate are so compatible. For a bunch of reasons, the selection was completely random but they share several demographic similarities in addition to enjoying each other’s personality. So sorry, agentninetynine. Hope it’s not a continuing saga of tribulations for your girl.</p>
<p>I am enjoying all the launch and “after the launch” reflections. S14 leaves in two weeks… It’s been a long summer of waiting for him, but it is finally getting real. He will only pack a suitcase and live off campus in a funky old hotel “boarding house style” for a bridge program, then he will move into his dorm two weeks later. H and I will drive his belongings down and help him move into his dorm room.</p>
<p>He has “met” his roommate via Facebook and they have been “talking.” I think they will click and I am pleased as his high hope was to form a real friendship with his roommate. Also, the roommate’s family lives less than 90 miles away from us, so that was a pleasant surprise.</p>
<p>I have been thinking about the food in the house too. Lots of pantry items will probably get thrown out and I know my shopping will certainly change. H and I will eat different meals than those that suit my kids’ preferences. A little meat and a variety of veggies and fruits will fill our plates most nights. Honestly, we will probably dine out 2 nights a week and order take out 1 weeknight as well. I figure I’ll cook a proper Sunday dinner that will extend into Monday leftovers and cook quick items another two nights. H and I like to nuke leftovers at work for lunches.</p>
<p>@Agentninetynine sorry to hear about the roommate difficulties! I hope your D takes advantage of the channels available to her (RA, etc.) to try to improve things to at least a tolerable level. </p>
<p>@oldmom4896 so glad to hear the laptop survived the coffee mishap!</p>
<p>My S made it through his first week of classes and seems pretty happy. One thing I just realized is that the add/drop date is really early at UVM compared to Cornell where S1 is. It doesn’t give them much time to figure out how things are going before they are committed. One possibility we had talked about was taking a light schedule first semester due to some disability issues and getting used to dealing with those in the context of college-level classes. He decided to sign up for a full schedule and drop one if necessary. I’m concerned that everything will seem fine for the first two weeks, and only once midterms get rolling will he really know if he can handle the full schedule or not. I do think it’s likely he’ll be fine, but… I wish he had more time to figure it out. (He can withdraw from a class later, but it would show up on his transcript as a ‘W’ – not the end of the world, but not ideal. The deadline for that is a month earlier than it is at Cornell also.)</p>
<p>I came home to our empty nest. Do cats count? After dropping my son off we left. As a junior he just literally wanted help carrying stuff inside and wanted us out pronto. We went away for the weekend to Niagara Falls and Niagara on the Lake. It was a nice transition to have a little two of us trip before coming back to the empty house. Now I face the reality of our new normal. Weird.</p>