<p>My D has gone from happy to miserable in less than 3 weeks. It started with that darn concussion. She’s not a high energy person with her health issues and meds. Add the concussion, and she’s been really exhausted. To top it off, she now has a miserable cold. She texted me today that she feels awful, is falling behind in her work and super stressed. She got a Z pack from the health center. I hope it helps. The challenge with D is always trying to keep her healthy. Once she gets sick, it often just snowballs because she doesn’t recover quickly. </p>
<p>She loves her school, but now I’m starting to second guess my decision to let her go so far away. I feel like there’s not much I can do to help her from here. Fall Break can’t get here soon enough. I’m hoping a few days of rest and home cooking will help her recover. </p>
<p>It’s hard on us when our kids are unhappy @overtheedge! But as others who’ve gone before have mentioned she also may be on the downside of the W, propelled by her concussion and cold. Hopefully once she’s feeling better, she’ll be happier. I also think a lot of kids start getting homesick this time of year as the seasons change. </p>
<p>@Overtheedge
I hope your D will get better. Hopefully the fall break will help her.</p>
<p>@collegetime18
I thought I’m the only one feeling that way. My D had some BF throughout HS, but most of them were not serious, until her current BF. Secretly wish that they will break up since they are so far apart “academically”. But that’s another thread.</p>
<p>I could definitely pipe in about the relationship thing. How is it that both of my kids managed to have relationships going into college? I think it held back my son, and now I think I could say the same about my daughter. All senior year she waffled about breaking up with him, she did, then they got back together again. And they’re 900 miles apart. And he’s going to be career military which to me opens another can of worms. She is involved in school with classes, sorority, she joined young life, has friends, etc. I just think she may have her feet in two worlds so to speak.</p>
<p>Concussion effects can really last for a while, including fatigue and depression. Your daughter might need some medical support and maybe even drop a class or turn in some things late. Just something for her to think about.</p>
<p>Just getting caught up on all the posts here - tattoos, relationships, piercings, colds, concussions and all sorts of happy stuff too. I was having an AWFUL day and reading all of this reminded me that parenting is tough for everyone. I’m with “my people” here thankfully. @AsleepAtTheWheel , your comment about the inheritance, or lack thereof, brought a smile to my otherwise cranky face. :)</p>
<p>Thank you everyone for being so supportive and giving me a place to vent my anxiety and concerns. With D’s health history, I knew this first semester would be a big hurdle. The exposure to all those germs combined with the pressures of school, lack of sleep, change in diet, etc was bound to wreak havoc on her health. I’ve been so excited that she’s happy there, but I’ve been holding my breath too. </p>
<p>@Agentninetynine - I think you’re right about the concussion and cold propelling the W. Being sick isn’t fun, especially at college. And her perception that it’s been one thing after the other is getting her down.</p>
<p>@seattle_mom - I do wonder how much the concussion is contributing to the fatigue. D is taking 16 hours, and today we discussed her dropping one of her classes. She has some AP credits and she can always take a summer course. Under the circumstances, I agree a lighter course load will be better. </p>
<p>@3tallblonds - I hope your day gets better. Hang in there!</p>
<p>On a more positive note, it sounds like everyone is having fun and enjoying their parents weekend trips! </p>
<p>Overtheedge: Nothing wrong with dropping a class when you feel crappy. My son has 15 hours this semester. The workload, he says, has been intense. Homework all the time. Studying all the time. His day begins at 5:50 a.m. as he gets up for cross country practice six times a week. Fortunately, he has 10 hours a week of study hall – eight with his team and two with his fraternity. When I visited over the weekend, he commented that he probably would take no more than 14 hours each semester the rest of college, because of his schedule. The work is challenging, and while he was quite prepared for college, there is a lot to do to keep your grades up. I support his decision. I want him to be successful in his studies. He’s already said that maybe he could take a summer class (his scholarship could cover that), so the lighter load is the way to go.</p>
<p>Going to see our DD next week for Parent’s Weekend. Very excited. She’s ready for a little break from school so we’re taking her away for a couple of days. I notice she seems a little down the last week or so. She made lots of connections early on by participating in an Outdoor Program before school started and she has a room mate she gets along well with but I think she is missing the connection of close friends. She does things with lots of different people but is having trouble making the leap from aquaintances to real friends. I keep telling her it all takes time. Its only been 6 weeks. Some early “friendships” last some don’t and new friendships form all the time. Anybody have any good advice other than don’t worry about it, it will all work out? She fears the friend ship is passing her by.</p>
<p>lab317, It is very early yet. We were told when S began last year that the friends a student makes in the first few weeks of the first year are typically not the ones that are the closest of the college career–those develop later on. There is plenty of time! That has turned out to be true for him. Although he is happily rooming with his first-year roommate again, his closest friends are not the ones who lived in his first-residence or who were in his group for the adventure orientation program–they are students he met over the course of last year who share his interests. The only other advice would be to get involved in things that interest her, since that’s where like-minded friends are to be found.</p>
<p>I think it’s pretty normal for there to be almost a musical chairs desperation to quickly find friends at first. Then over the semester and year you expand and many times find the real friends and drop the initial ones. I know my d is now putting some distance with some of the girls and she’s getting more comfortable being her intolerant self on some things with the roommate. D has a total intolerance for slurpers, burpers and slobs…lol She texted me today it was taking everything she had to not grab roomies soup and throw it in the trash - lol Then she texted she absolutely had to have her own room next year.</p>
<p>My closest college friends are ones I met 2nd semester freshman year and 1st semester sophomore year. No need to rush this one… it take time to find “your people.” </p>
<p>Pretty sure Spygirl is going through a similar thing @lab317. She’s made friends and they seem to do a lot together, but she had such a tight group in high school and I know she’s missing them. She has weekly Skype dates with several friends, which is good as they are a great support group for one another. She even asked that I send care packages to a couple of the boys who she thinks could use some TLC. :)</p>
<p>My closest friends from college were those who shared similar interests. I just think it takes time to build those bonds.</p>
<p>So impatient at 18 and it’s all a lot of work. I think she’s just out of her comfort zone and would like it to all “settle down” ASAP. Little does she know that it’s a long ride in and out of that comfort zone. </p>
<p>I went to visit DS last weekend - took my younger son and mother as well. Had a wonderful visit! We arrived shortly before his last class of the day ended Friday which gave us time to check in to the hotel. I wasn’t sure how much we would get to visit or hang out at the dorm or if he’d come to the hotel (which is conveniently on campus). We met him at his dorm after his class and took up all the goodies I brought for him. He also has started dating a young lady. I was hoping he wouldn’t start dating so soon. He really only had two short-term girlfriends throughout high school. He had asked if she could go to dinner with us, too. So I got to meet her and get to know her - very sweet girl. Then we parted after dinner. I met up with him Saturday morning and went bike riding around campus and downtown (I’ve recently taken up riding so that was a nice treat). Then later we went with the roomies and one of the roomie moms for lunch. It was great seeing how well the four boys get along. He said instead of going out for dinner, he just wanted homemade pancakes! So we went back over Saturday evening to cook pancakes in the dorm’s community kitchen!! All the roomies were there along with the girlfriend and a friend of one of the other boys. Made it to church Sunday morning and then hit the road for the LONG drive home - 9:30pm Sunday night arrival! It was a very long day!</p>
<p>It sounds like most of the students are adjusting well. I hope @overtheedge’s D gets to feeling better soon! Seems like there was a lot of illness at DS’ school this fall.</p>
<p>@Overtheedge - so glad your D is headed home for Fall break! Seems perfect timing for her to rest up and reenergize.</p>
<p>@lab317 - so glad you get to see your DD at Parents Weekend next week. I hope she’ll find a good friend soon. I know it’s so hard to be patient in finding those close connections.</p>
<p>Cannot wait to see my D at Christmas! Like @2018Dad and some others, other kids’ school obligations and costs make it impossible to attend Parents Weekend. I miss her terribly, but am so glad and thankful she sounds very happy. She’s headed out tomorrow on a covered wagon campout - never thought of her as a camper, but she sounds very excited!</p>
<p>For one daughter, I am doing a surprise visit tomorrow night. It is her sorority initiation, and since she’s joining the same house I’m in, I get to go. Also bringing my old friend and sorority sister with me. Then on Saturday, she is playing in a lacrosse tournament, so I’ll get to see her play for the first time as a college student. I have a box of stuff for her, including pickles that she likes.</p>
<p>My other daughter visited her grandparents last weekend from her college about 2 hours away. She didn’t need to, but was actually excited to have a little time away from school, visit her doggies (they live with my brother) and eat in a restaurant. I may see her in a few weeks but plans are still up in the air. I just keep sending her stuff and then she calls to thank me.</p>
Hopefully once she’s feeling better, she’ll be happier. I also think a lot of kids start getting homesick this time of year as the seasons change. </p>