<p>My DD has expressed interests in schools in the Pacific Northwest. Over spring break, she and DW may do a 1st round of college visits.</p>
<p>I don’t remember if I shared this here, but at the end of last semester, D’s schedule for this semester changed fairly radically. She was supposed to be in one particular upper-level science course, and the department decided that Sophomores all (no exceptions) needed to be in different course. And that played havoc with the rest of the schedule. As a result, she has a somewhat easier course load than we were expecting. (This is a math/science magnet, so the coursework is very different than in a regular high school.) It’s all good, and she’s really enjoying it, and since Feb. is crazy busy with EC competitions (particularly, though not exclusively math-related) the easier workload is welcome.</p>
<p>So last night she says to me, sort of out of the blue, “You know, I should probably get some AP review books.” I just sort of looked at her, and she goes on to say that the coursework she’s taking is completely appropriate for taking the AP Environmental Science exam without much additional prep. I hadn’t even thought of it.</p>
<p>Pepper, thanks for the great insight. My DS is our oldest, so I appreciate the wisdom of parents whove been thru this before.</p>
<p>DS is also getting lots of college mail & email, both from the PSAT taken this year and the PLAN taken in 9th. Why the PLAN-related mailings are coming now, Im not sure. Also seeing Wash DC and Akron as return addresses on many mailings, though a good percentage are also going back to the respective college town.</p>
<p>While my current job is advertising-related, Ive worked in the direct marketing biz before (back before email & web-marketing was common, which dates me) so Im getting a real kick out of DSs college mailings. Its fascinating to see how the industry has evolved since my Stone-Age years and the level of personalization, including personalized web pages, is pretty cool (to me). DS has glanced at a few mailings, taken a couple online quizzes (he liked those) and scanned a few QR codes, but he lets mom play with the mail because its so entertaining (to me)!</p>
<p>I can determine which is a PLAN mailing vs a PSAT mailing by the email address used. PLAN mailings are coming to our primary email address ugh and PSAT mailings are going to DSs college-related email account. So glad he has that account now because its easier to track everything. Im logging into the PLAN-related emails and updating to DSs address, which is a pain, but it has to be done. However, we are still getting Parent emails at our primary email address, so I probably should have set up a Parent-college-related email account for DH & me. Actually, I will need to do that sooner or later.</p>
<p>DS will have to cast a very wide net, so we arent recycling mail yet. I’ve scanned it all & had DS look at materials he might find interesting. However, the mail is probably really annoying for parents whove gotten mail for older kids in years past. Now I know why the cost of college is so high all the Marketing expense!</p>
<p>For families who are new to the college search process, you might want to read this relatively new CC thread under Financial Aid:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1450142-suggested-entries-financial-aid-faq.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1450142-suggested-entries-financial-aid-faq.html</a></p>
<p>Also…</p>
<p>@ OHMomof2, thank you for recommending the book: Paying for College Without Going Broke. I checked it out at the library last November (right after you suggested it) and am so glad I did. While it the book was sobering, and sometimes disheartening, DH & I needed to have a better grasp of issues related to financing college. That book is an excellent resource & I’ll buy the next year’s edition when it’s released. We did take steps this year to make sure our withholdings are such that we get virtually no refund in 2014, which would add income during DS’s base year. (We try to get our withholdings in that range every year, but DH is tweaking so that we will hopefully not get anything back.) Overall, we have a much greater awareness of college financing than we did last Fall. And while this knowledge certainly shifts our paradigms here…it’s better to understand the issues now versus after DS has applied to schools we could never possibly afford.</p>
<p>Is anyone else’s kid going crazy with various academic competitions? I had forgotten how busy February is! (And it looks like you all are too busy to post!)</p>
<p>IJustDrive–not academic competitions for us. February and March is crazed with choir, jazz, and orchestra festivals and competitions as well as concerts. S has all-state orchestra next week from Thursday through Monday, then the following week a jazz festival from Thursday through Sunday. We just got home from a choir concert and S has extra rehearsals this week and a Youth symphony concert on Sunday.<br>
What type of academic competitions are you guys up to?</p>
<p>suzy100 & 3girls3cats - thanks for the welcome!</p>
<p>IJustDrive & momsings - For us, Feb. is a bit on the quiet side. Good luck on all your competitions and performances. We have choir contest and solo & ensemble competition next month. BTW - both of your screen names fit me pretty well, too. 
I just went through D’s choir/band schedules and found 3 conflict dates between the two groups in May. That will be fun. D will audition for a select vocal group at that time which will mean no more band if she gets in. </p>
<p>H just signed D up for Kaplan to do SAT prep. He gets it free through work. We didn’t take advantage of it for D’13 because I didn’t know about it soon enough. </p>
<p>Re: mailings…we haven’t started that yet. All I know is that D’13 got tired of it very quickly. Seems like the schools she really wanted don’t send until you initiate. My favorites were the mailings from SMU because every time one came, D’13 would say, “Be a Horse”. (It’s really, “Be a Mustang”, but they just had a pic of the mustang, so she decided it was funnier her way!) Anyway, I have a huge pile of college mail on the dresser in the guest room…and parents visiting in a few weeks…I guess I better decide what to do with it.</p>
<p>All quiet here before spring brings a school sport back into the mix.</p>
<p>She didn’t get picked to go to the state science fair and is very happy! Yeah I don’t think I am going to be looking at the most rigorous college for her!</p>
<p>I am thinking of suggesting she take some kind of prep class this summer for the SAT or ACT but she still doesn’t want to discuss this issue so I don’t want to push it. We have one and a half weeks left before February vacation-I am planning on having her sit down with me to look at the test results of the PSAT and give her a timed practice test to get some idea where she is with this. I have let her ignore it as I know she is upset but I have to nicely tell her if she wants to apply to certain schools she is going to have to go through this process. If she doesn’t that’s fine too but she has to decide and I need some idea if that was a good measure or not of where she is. The elephant in the room is her brother of course-she thought all of this would be a piece of cake-I know her ego is bruised but she has to get over it right? Thoughts? This is a tricky one!</p>
<p>My D is making me crazy - again. :rolleyes: We had a nice, if brief, period where she was interested in talking about college stuff. Not so much right now, so I have to tiptoe around it. I really hate having to do that. Her lack of motivation is bothering me.</p>
<p>Examples:
- Her Art teacher from last semester wants to enter some of her artwork in a competition. She can submit some work she has already done, but teacher would like her to make a new piece too. D decided she doesn’t have time to make something new.<br>
Me: what are you doing this weekend?
D: it’s the WEEKEND! I shouldn’t have to do that on the weekend!</p>
<ol>
<li> She is a good writer. Her advisor suggested she write a review for the school paper of a concert she just saw. A girl in same advisory is editor of paper, asked her to write something. D has done NOTHING.</li>
</ol>
<p>I love her, but she does just enough to keep an “A” (or A-) in classes and get by. Doesn’t study very much. I know I can lead this horse to water but not make her drink, and that I have to leave it up to her. It’s hard though.</p>
<p>Good luck to the kids of the parents here who are busy with competitions, music, etc. !</p>
<p>Pepper, I have no advice as I’m in a similar situation with D. Looking forward to hearing what others have to offer.</p>
<p>This article I read is pretty timely to this discussion</p>
<p>[Good</a> advice from educator: Let your kids choose own path, in college and life | Get Schooled](<a href=“http://blogs.ajc.com/get-schooled-blog/2013/02/04/good-advice-from-educator-let-your-kids-choose-own-path-in-college-and-life/]Good”>http://blogs.ajc.com/get-schooled-blog/2013/02/04/good-advice-from-educator-let-your-kids-choose-own-path-in-college-and-life/)</p>
<p>Pepper- We just found out that D advanced to the regional science fair. Serves me right for gloating the benefits of block scheduling and that we were done with science fair last semester. We have had " way too much" exposure to science fair in the past. D2’s goal was to get an A on the project and be done. She is too smart a girl to give up the chance of going to the next stage. So she will be going along on Sat, with softball stuff packed in the car. As soon as she is finished it is a 30 mile drive to a softball tournament. Hoping she is judged early so she doesn’t miss too many games!</p>
<p>Thanks for that article! I agree let them be kids! My daughter has unrealistic expectations of where she would like to go-her number one school right now is Stanford! I only seek to get her to understand that if she sets goals-and they are her own goals that much I promise you-she needs to understand what she needs to do to attain them.</p>
<p>I think being very clear to her that she needs to start to think about what she might like to study and where she might like to study it are appropriate at this age in a very non-threatening way. I have already told her that just like her brother we will pay for her to live at the in-state U-a prospect she finds as distressing as he did and I think many kids do at first-“everyone goes there it will be like HS all over again”! I feel she would do very well there and be happy and graduate debt free. If that isn’t what she likes she is free to explore other options but she is going to have to invest more of her time and effort-that is completely her decision.</p>
<p>My favorite word is balance-I want both of my children to have that in their lives. I already let them chose where to go to HS-and they both chose to stay at the good but not exceptional local public school-that already set them up to be able to have a well rounded HS experience.</p>
<p>I think I have shared this so forgive me but my son chuckles when he tells me he thinks he is the only kid at his college-at least in the Honors Program there-that had not had a single AP or IB course-they cannot believe he is able to keep up with them. He takes pleasure in not only keeping up with them but in some cases passing them-I say that not to brag as my son was gifted with the ability to do so-had nothing to do with me and doesn’t make him any better than anyone else-but to illustrate my continued and even firmer belief that so much of this accelerated learning is not necessary and in fact some kids are better served by being left alone. He feels fresh and ready to go and a lot of these kids are done…</p>
<p>So I guess my feeling is leave them be-she can tell me she doesn’t want to do anything and as long as she understands when the time comes this might limit her choices that is a perfectly reasonable choice.</p>
<p>Where are these colleges they mention in that article though-I am curious about that as he works a lot harder than these typical college students they are talking about.</p>
<p>suzy is your daughter usually like this or is this a change in her behavior?</p>
<p>W2BeHome-It could be even funnier to say “Be a Pony”. Son of a good friend attends SMU. At SMU football game the mascot is a pony. One of the games my friend attended SMU had 17 touchdowns. My friend felt sorry for the pony because it had to run from one end zone to the other for each touchdown and ran a total of 17 times at that game.</p>
<p>Sally-Great article. I agree 100%.</p>
<p>Suzy-I hear you. My older son was not interested in any competitions or extra stuff beyond his classroom work in HS. I think one reason could be that he just did not want to be noticed and it is not that he was not motivated. He took rigorous course load then so I know he did apply himself.</p>
<p>S2 is advanced to the district and regional science fairs. He agreed not to attend the regional this year and understood it takes free time away from him for the weekend.</p>
<p>Hi 2015ers. My S15 is #3 and with D13 well into senioritis, I am switching gears a bit. Couldn’t sleep last night thinking about junior year because, believe me, it is tough. No way around it. Currently trying to talk son out of 4 APS because I want him to have balance, not torture. It made me think that for parents with kids like Suzy100, have no fear. Something kicks in junior year, for better or worse, and they go into high gear/panic/ overload, not too mention the pressure on all the junior year testin. Enjoy her wanting her weekends free this year. Oh boy!! PM me and I’ll check in here from time to time.</p>
<p>D has had a variety of math team-related competitions, both local and national (AMC). Plus she’s participated/ing in NACLO and USABO. We’ll see if she gets anywhere, but even if she doesn’t, it’s all good experience. There seems to be at least 2 competitions every week of this month.</p>
<p>*So I guess my feeling is leave them be-she can tell me she doesn’t want to do anything and as long as she understands when the time comes this might limit her choices that is a perfectly reasonable choice…</p>
<p>suzy is your daughter usually like this or is this a change in her behavior? *</p>
<p>I swear, I am normally like this with D - I let her make her choices. I let her choose her high school too - large (but very good) public over small very expensive private where she could have gone free due to scholarship offer. I have never told her what clubs to join, or ECs to pursue. If I thought she really was truly fully informed or understood that her choices now may limit her choices later, I’d be completely fine. She just doesn’t even want to have the discussion. (“Mom, I’m only 15!”) I just worry that by the time she realizes she’s passed up some great opportunities, it will be too late. I also recognize it’s not the end of the world if some things she may want later (some very selective school) may be out of reach for her. I’m just hoping that she will have lots of affordable options, but in the end it’s up to her.</p>
<p>Pepper, she’s been like this pretty much since high school stared. I think it’s normal for a kid her age, just aggravating.</p>
<p>Hi erlanger! Thanks for the encouragement. :)</p>
<p>Right there with you suzy-you can lead a horse (or pony!) to water but you can’t make them drink…</p>
<p>We will have to just get through this together-venting here is good! :)</p>
<p>Yes! I even used that analogy and must have edited it out. I do appreciate being able to vent here about My Little Pony. ;)</p>
<p>Reading that article now - thank you Sally! It’s what I needed.</p>
<p>Suzy, be happy that she is willing to do what it takes to earn As and A-s. My eldest wasn’t and it led to a LOT of frustration during her high school years. The good news is that she had great college choices and is working in a job she loves and is doing well. It really does all work out.</p>
<p>Pepper, are you guys in CA? How did your D settle on Stanford as her top choice? It seems to be the hot dream school at D’s HS too. This is different from when my older girls were in high school and Brown seemed to be the sought after destination.</p>
<p>I do agree with you about the importance of balance and also of clear guidance. I am guilty of burying my head in the sand both because I’m dreading the next two years and because D seems to hear too much from peers at school as it is. Apparently she’s behind in not having started with a private tutor for the SATs. <rolling eyes=""></rolling></p>
<p>I had to laugh about your comment about the colleges in that article–I agree! My girls have worked much harder in college than they ever did in high school. English and History APs required about 1/4 the reading and writing required in college and Calculus AP bore little resemblance to Calc I.</p>