Pass the wine around! Champagne is chilling for May 1 come hell or high water!
And on May 5 we begin the selection of dorms.
I agree that we can never be 100% sure of anything ( I guess I need to take back what I said lol). We do the best we can to find a place where they will be comfortable, find some friends, be ok with the academics ( not too easy, not too hard), etc but at the end of the day we really drop them off and hope that we made the right decision. Kids transfer all the time and if that is what ultimately happens, it’s OK. It’s an adjustment- I have a friend whose D is an engineering major and the kid called after the first week of school crying that the work was too hard. My friend was a nervous wreck wondering if they made the right decision. The girl is now a happy sophomore and doing great as an engineering major. I always saw my D in a small school. She chose a very large school which concerns me a bit, but honestly it’s already feeling smaller. She met a few nice kids at a local event that are totally her speed, and has been chatting on FB with kids who live further away and found a few more kids she likes- they have been discussing poetry ( right up her alley). I am positive she will find kids who drink too much- those kids are everywhere and mine is not a drinker- but it made me feel better seeing how easy it’s been to find kids who don’t. The social piece and school size were the two things that worried me the most. I am a firm believer that every school in this country ( or at least almost every school) will give our kids a good education. If the kid finds her people ( and " her people" are everywhere- although it may be easier to find them at school A versus school B- but they will be everywhere as long as you look for them) and attends a school that is a good fit academically, it all falls in to place. I am not a strong believer in reach schools- other than those schools that are a reach for everybody ( does that make sense?). I have seen too many kids get off the wait list at a reach and then not make their chosen major and struggle with the academics. Those kids end up in a major they did not want- unless they transfer. Now of course there will be kids who attend a reach and do beautifully- I am just sharing my own experience. So at the end of the day we do as much research as we can, and hope that it all works out. I think most of the time it does. [-O<
@LadyArwyn there are some really nice new dorms at the UW.
Since D applied to only one school and we were in the midst of a family crisis during the time, I will admit there are times when I have second thoughts. D has none of those second thoughts, though. Probably because she had put so much effort and research into the decision upfront.
The only surd in the equation is her out-of-state boyfriend who, ironically, will be going to a school pretty close to where we live, a school that she decided not to apply to primarily because it was too close to home. As he’s moving to our area from his home 800 miles away, she’ll be moving to a school 500 miles away in the other direction. As Doris Day sang, “que sera sera.”
@EllieMom The long distance relationship stuff is hard. It looks like I will be facing that, something I never thought in a million years would happen, but it is what it is. C’mon, it does work sometimes… right? Not always, but isn’t there a chance?
I’m on pins and needles over D’s choice. She was admitted EA in December and pretty much decided at that moment that she was done. That had not been “the plan” and it wasn’t the school I would have chosen for her so of course I’m in a state now, lol. It’s far away and expensive. I guess, as a parent, you worry no matter what, right?
My son seems very sure about his ED choice, even though he is getting a lot of interest from the other college that accepted him EA.
I am just hoping that if he does have trouble with how difficult the coursework is predicted to be, he reaches out to us, or some at the college. I don’t want to get a big surprise when I ask about his grades.
We are mixed emotions about his AP tests this year. Yes, we’d want to save money, but we don’t want him to be lost in junior year courses taken as a freshman. Thankfully, he got a 4 in a non-major area so he can get out of an elective.
@albert69 Definitely a chance! Don’t give up hope. I’m amazed at how technology has changed the way people communicate, and how very possible it is to maintain a real relationship even if the two of you aren’t in the same time zone. D and her boyfriend rarely get to see each other in person right now, but they’re in constant touch by text, phone, and facetime. (Our Verizon bill is testament to that!)
@Rhandco-- I am confused. If he has an RD school aren’t you done and isn’t the EA school irrelevant at this point. Unless of course you are willing to break the RD rules.
Sorry-- didn’nt notice my typo until now (too late to edit).
Post should read:
@Rhandco-- I am confused. If he has an ED school aren’t you done and isn’t the EA school irrelevant at this point. Unless of course you are willing to break the ED rules.
@shoboemom, we’re feeling a lot of doubts–and my d hasn’t even made up her mind yet. Rationally, I know that any of her final choices would be good choices for her, but I still wish she were were 100% certain about one of them. To make things more complicated, she found out a couple of weeks ago that she is runner-up for a big scholarship in her major at one of her safety schools (a school she had ruled out before she found out about the scholarship). Now that school is doing a very nice job of recruiting her, but they may not know whether the first-choice person takes the scholarship until May 1. I think my d only wants to go there if she gets the scholarship. Does anyone know whether she can deposit at one school and then withdraw and go to another if she gets the scholarship after May 1? I need a fruity drink . . . 
KAMmom in order for her to get the scholarship after May 1, wouldn’t she have to send a deposit to the safety school? If May 1 arrives and there is no deposit, they won’t give her the scholarship because they will assume she is going someplace else (?). I totally understand the notion of needing a fruity drink!!
Well, the director of the program is in contact with her, and he’s told her that if the other student doesn’t accept by May 1, she gets the scholarship. So couldn’t she just let him know she would come if she got the scholarship, even after May 1? In any case, now I’m thinking my d needs to try to squeeze in another visit to the safety school in case the scholarship comes through. But she is doing what we thought was her final admitted student event this weekend and feeling very stressed about senior projects, AP tests, and other end-of-the-year stuff. So I’m not sure what to do. Ugh. I just want this done and her happy with her choice.
KAMmom I would guess that yes, she can inform the school that she will be depositing elsewhere and will gladly come if they inform her after May 1 of the scholarship. People make deposits all the time at a school and then forfeit the deposit if they get off a waitlist at another. In your case there is no waitlist, but it appears as though the school will " hold" her spot. Congrats!!
Thanks @twogirls; I was thinking it would kind of be like a waitlist situation. Do you think it would be wrong to forfeit the deposit at another school in a case like this, where there’s no waitlist? We assumed the other student would accept, so didn’t plan for her to go back for the admitted students event. Now I’m kicking myself for not planning this better.
I can’t believe D will be at college in 5 weeks. It’s coming too soon!
As of yesterday we still have 5 being considered as well as a waitlist. I thought the list would get shorter by now…sigh…
KAMmom - kids forfeit deposits all the time after May 1 to attend another school. Sometimes they are called off a wait list in July, sometimes they get cold feet and decide to spend a year at a community college instead, etc. I would not send in a deposit to two schools, and I would not ED to one school and then, if accepted, entertain the thought of going to another ( by not retracting the applications)- however it appears as though you are making a deposit at one school ( not an ED school) while telling another school that your daughter will pull out of the first one if their scholarship comes through. To me that seems fine. My daughter’s friend put a deposit down at a school and then on May 3rd she got a phone call that she is off the wait list at her top choice. She called the school that she deposited at and told them she was not coming. That sounds like what you are doing (?) minus the wait list.
Yes, he is done, but whether it is the right fit for him remains to be seen. I though the original question was about whether the choice was appropriate once it was made.
Admissions at the EA school knows he is not going there, but the school keeps contacting him including the coach.