I told my kid that he can tell his grandchildren, who by then might be applying to dozens of colleges, that he applied to two colleges, and rescinded one after his ED decision came through.
One and done has been wonderful compared to standing over the shoulder of each of his two older sibs hoping to beat the deadline of many.
It was tough enough just to get the one or two out.
While I agree that ideally a safety should be one where the student wants to attend, and will be accepted and will be affordable, it just may not be possible to find that all in one package. I won’t go as far as to say it might not exist. There are so many schools out there, but if the student can’t find it, to them it doesn’t exist. We searched and searched. She’s ok with her safety but didn’t “want” to go there. Then again, if students really wanted to go to their safeties, the search would be over, no other applications needed. I know this was the case for some, but probably not the majority here on CC.
One thing I have realized, not sure if I’ve already mentioned, is that many on CC come from states where the state school is very expensive, so in comparison, there are many schools that are “affordable”, or where some merit money brings the private school down enough to be less than or at least comparable to the state school. Our state schools are very inexpensive (relatively), and then the kids get Bright Futures (state scholarship)…tough to beat! I am not complaining! It just changes the perspective.
^^^ Agreed, because the state flagship in Idaho is probably a lot cheaper and less selective than say, Michigan.
@latichever: That’s funny. I told my older kid I was planning to tell his children that we will never know if he even could have been admitted to more than one college.
For ED, even the College Board says:
"Agree to attend the college if accepted and offered a financial aid package that is considered adequate by the family. "
What is adequate can be up for debate - we have to pay 10K above our EFC each year for my son’s ED college.
That is true but wouldn’t one know whether the ED school is feasible or not by now? Isn’t all the financial information in from that school? If it isn’t feasible then wouldn’t one decline the ED and have done so months ago?
If you’re not certain it’s in the bag financially, why is your kid applying to the iffy-financial ED school? My understanding is: ED is the route to go if A: the kid has done the research and knows it’s The One; and B: parents are certain it’s in their budget. Otherwise it’s a crapshoot.
@rhandco, parents read these boards and learn from them as they navigate their kids’ college paths. What you’re doing is showing them “Heyyy, yeah. It’s OK for other people to follow the rules, but I have all these reasons why it’s not OK for ME to follow the rules.” You’re also teaching your kid that rules only apply to other people. Doesn’t that flicker on your radar as being not cool?
AND, there’s a specific time period after ED wherein the acceptance should be declined if the FA package is not doable. Why didn’t you do that?
Butler University: Illinoismom4 S
Carleton College: lhenkin’s S
College of William and Mary: Catmatmc’s D
Cornell University: mdcmom’s S, CD2015’s S, co4usc2016’s S15
Grinnell College: Limner’s D
Ithaca College: momsings S
Juniata College: jmnva06 D
Marywood University: Musictherapymom’s D
MIT: momof2vt S
Murray State University: ILMom13579’s D
Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI): rhandco S, Dadinator’s S
Rochester Institute of Technology: kidsrexpensive’s S
Rutgers University, New Brunswick - Honors College: Veggylover’s S
Scripps College: dustypig’s D
Smith College: clubacres’ D
Swarthmore College: PhxRising’s S
Texas A&M University Honors Program: Loganator’s S, Barfly’s S
The College of New Jersey (TCNJ) Honors Program: bopper’s D2
Truman State University: Wrestlersmom’s S
United States Military Academy (West Point): Bigbossman1’s D
University of Alabama: 2kidsinky’s D
University of Arizona: Maystarmom’s D
University of Georgia: kidsrexpensive’s D, Sally 22’s d
University of Kentucky: Wolverine86’s D2
University of Miami: 4CookieMonster
University of Michigan - Ann Arbor: Wrights1994’s S, a2zgirls D1
University of Michigan - Flint: Wolverine86’s S
University of Minnesota - Twin Cities: giterdone’s S
University of Notre Dame - suzy100’s D
University of Oklahoma: STEMFamily’s S
University of Pittsburgh: amandakayak’s D3
University of Rochester: Elliemom
University of San Francisco: oneofthosemoms S
University of Southern California: MsMommy’s S2, co4usc2016’s D16
University of South Florida: Hoosier96 D
University. of Tulsa: deborahb’s S
University of Virginia: FCCDAD’s D1
University of Washington - Seattle: LadyArwyn’s D
Vanderbilt University: disneydad’s S
Washington and Lee University: mtrosemom’s D
Wichita State University: albert69
Worcester Polytechnic Institute (WPI): VMT’s D
My son’s “safety” (affordable, automatic admission) was his first choice school, once he was admitted for the major he wanted. Gotta love that! Easiest college admission process I could have imagined. I know there will be payback with D’20, however. No way she’ll be that easy. If any of you are still hanging around the ship with younger kiddos at that point, I’ll need intravenous fruity drinks and a steady stream of cabana boys…
@rhandco - perhaps members of this board have misinterpreted your statements about your concerns that RPI is a good fit, and then the occasional comment about other EA schools your son applied to. If you could clarify, I think it would be helpful, especially for future parents who will rely on the Parents of 2015 for some guidance (and we have a lot of collective wisdom!)
I would assume once you decided you would make due with the financial package RPI offered your son, even though it was $10k below what you expected, your son did indeed withdraw his EA and RD applications. It was certainly unfortunate the FA package was disappointing.
My daughter’s pkg from RPI was also disappointing, though she was RD. She had very good stats, was a recruited athlete and a double legacy - so yeah, lots of disappointment in this house. That’s why she isn’t going there. Sometimes there is no rhyme and reason to it. I’ve seen students on the UofRochester forum in the same situation. It does happen. I’m glad for your son that you are able to manage as I know RPI was his dream school and it is a great school.
We didn’t do any ED’s in this house because of our understanding that if accepted, you have to go if the $$ is reasonable. Wrestler did non-binding EA’s, RD, and rolling admissions.
Being a recruited athlete, we did make it a point to notify coaches very early on when he eliminated schools to let them move forward with recruiting. We did the same thing with the one waitlisted school. Since he knows Truman is the spot for him, he gave up the waitlist spot immediately.
We are feeling good in this house about attending school in the thriving metropolos known as Kirksville!!! I have even embraced the idea that the best hotel accomodations may be at hunting lodges! He is interacting with classmates on the accepted students’ Facebook page and getting more excited by the day! It is nice to see he feels so good about this. (Now the AP Calc battle is still another story! Lol)
@Wrestlersmom - I’m really happy for your son. I know the athletics side is an additional complication and it’s so great when everything comes together and feels right.
For us, safety schools were difficult to find. If she had a school that was affordable, an (almost) sure acceptance, and one that she really liked, I would have told her to apply ED. Schools I thought were safeties- honors programs in OOS state schools that gave her merit, turned out not to be safeties because she really did not like them for a variety of reasons- way too big, did not feel she fit in socially, did not like the location or type of campus, did not have her major, etc. The one in-state school that would probably be a decent safety, she did not apply to. The one she DID apply to is not the best fit for her. She got merit from a private school ( that she loved) and would have most probably gone had her HMFR not pulled through, both with the EA acceptance and FA. This whole process has been very stressful. If I had known ahead of time that she would be eligible for merit at the private school, that could have been her safety- but of course that would never happen and hindsight is 20/20. I suggested a couple of other private schools that could have possibly been a safety because I think she would have gotten decent merit had she visited and shown interest, but she had zero interest in applying. The bottom line is that she wanted a particular type of school and she really lucked out with the results. As far as ED, my kid changes her mind so much that it would make me nervous. One kid in our school broke an ED agreement to an Ivy and it took a long time for them to accept another one of our students.
the Common App and the internet have made it too easy to apply to schools on a whim. Kids often romanticize a school and reality doesn’t live up to the dream.
For D’12 and S’15, they only ever applied to schools they visited first. I don’t know how parents/kids negotiate the process after acceptance and not ever having seen it. Visiting when you have nothing at stake? puts a very different lens on the school than it does when visiting it after an acceptance, or in the rush of the final month.
We visited every single school that she applied to- most of them 2-3 times. She originally liked her safeties very much- but changed her mind ( note my ED comment above LOL). Then- at the beginning of February- she said to me " oh- I guess I should have listened to you and also applied to x-y-and z." Thankfully it all worked out and she is very happy. ~X(
Son’s decision is almost made. We are down to two schools. Today he returned from an overnight at one, and tomorrow he will head out for an overnight at the other one. I hope we will know and have the deposit in by Friday. I am ready for this phase to be over (so that I can start obsessing about his graduation party in less than 2 months and getting him ready to leave for school in just over 4 months).
We were fortunate that D was able to visit all but one of the schools she applied to plus about 10 more she didn’t apply to. She started looking the summer between freshman and sophomore year with a friend who was a year ahead of her and lived in another part of the country. Then over the next two summers we planned vacations so she could also visit schools. I say we were fortunate because we were financially able to do this. We do not have a lot of schools w/in driving distance that met her demographic.
Not every family can do this and the student can only visit after they are accepted and know the financials will work. I do agree that the common app (which every school my D applied to used) allows for more applications than might be prudent. I think that CA is generating an app frenzy and will drive down acceptance rates to protect yield. Wait lists might become the wave of the future.
I researched colleges for 2 years and learned everything I could. I bought many books and read for hours (and hours) here on CC. My D had a couple of favorites, starting in 9th grade, and we toured a few (b/w 10th and summer after 11th). But after attending a summer program at Smith last summer, D came home REALLY wanting to attend. (She had also attended a program there the summer before.)
Frankly, I chose her safeties on my own- schools from my (extensive) research I felt would be very good matches for her. She was not excited about them, nor motivated to apply, although one did eventually gain her solid interest. There were a few Match/Reaches that she would’ve gotten excited about too, I’m sure.
I really liked the advice that I saw mentioned here many times, that having an acceptance or two in hand would lessen the blow of a deferral or, God forbid, outright rejection from her ED school. So I “made” her apply to 5 schools I believed would be safeties for her EA; and she applied to Smith ED1.
She was accepted to 3 of the schools with quite generous merit money in Nov/Dec and she withdrew from the remaining two after Christmas (she found out she was accepted to Smith on Dec.12). Had she been deferred from Smith, she would’ve taken a Subject Test over and also would’ve applied to at least 3 other Match/Reach schools.
I feel she/we over-prepared but this is preferable to under-preparing/-applying and then having to scramble! Also, we would’ve had to do a LOT of traveling over Winter and Spring Breaks :-t
I’m still a bit stunned that the whole process is over.
And I’m amazed by the info on these boards [-O<
D just came home from a visit. Unfortunately, it did not help clarify her decision. 2 more overnights this week. I think it may come down to a coin flip. Of course, that assumes she can narrow it down to 2!!
@VMT, my D had a hard time saying no to coaches too. At several schools, those were her closest ties at the schools. There is one school that she will probably say no to that she will suffer over the most. She loves so much about the school and we all like this particular coach the most. She and I have been commiserating about how hard that one will be.
Re: the ED kerfuffle, my interpretation of @rhandco’s statements has always been similar to what @crowlady says- there is some worry about whether the ED school will work out but her son has committed to the ED school and told the EA school he’s not coming. I think she talks about it because it’s her worry. Like many of us talk over our worries here. Frankly, I don’t really like the finger wagging I have seen cropping up.