My daughter is a few days into dorm living, and she says her biggest problem is adjusting to having zero privacy. She shares a room with one girl, and a bathroom with three girls. She says it’s hard not having her own space (like her private bedroom at home) where she can shut everyone out.
I tried to reassure her that she’ll gain some privacy as time passes. She’ll be alone in the room when her roommate is at class; she can seek out private places on campus (well, relatively private).
This is an issue I completely missed in discussions with my daughter about college. I was prepared for homesickness, overwhelming expectations, etc. Might be worth discussing with your kids if they are still pre-move in.
My S was lucky to get a single and I think it will reduce a lot of the transition issues . Of all things to worry about he seemed to be fretting most about getting a horror roommate. He is In an LLC so he should have plenty of company on his floor - hopefully best of both worlds.
I think my D will have some issues adjusting to no private space, she has never even shared a bathroom in our home. She has been excited about having a roommate, but I just hope she isn’t expecting new BEST friend. She is also in an LLC which was a big positive for her, I hope it works out as well as they sold it, seemed like a few upperclassmen (not RAs) on her hall on move in day…?
We have had a few text and she face timed with her brother a few times. I agree that not hearing too much is a good sign that they are busy and happy!
My D was at a summer camp a couple of years where she stayed in a college dorm and had a roommate, so she already knew that was going to be hard for her. Don’t know if it really helps to know in advance that the lack of privacy is going to bother you, though.
@LadyArwyn, I remember my own college experience going to a school that’s on the quarter system, and feeling very left out as everyone else went back in August and my school didn’t start till the end of September. Getting out in spring was even worse because all the summer jobs were filled up with the students who got out in mid-May.
I loved starting school later than everyone (quarter system) because it meant I could go traveling and camping when everyone else was in school. I went on some great road trips with schoolmates in September.
I don’t believe this… there’s already a special someone sparking my interest. Too early to tell for sure, but I might be falling in love again before long. 8-}
Move in day is done. I tried to help when she wanted help and stay in the background otherwise. That is one small room. My dorm in 1978 was bigger and better appointed.
Thankfully there were a lot of student volunteers to help us get everything up to the 6th floor. We arrived at 8 and left by 12. It’s weird being home without her, and knowing she won’t be home in a few hours. It’s a good thing, though, and more than anything I want her to thrive there, on her own. But on the way home, I suddenly felt like I was now in the older generation. Very weird feeling.
And the predictions about the campus being quiet during the weekend are correct. It’s very quiet and peaceful outside. A fair number of the people in the dorms went home, I believe. Inside the dorm it isn’t much different - my suitemates all have jobs and other activities so they aren’t around much anyway. My floor has been really quiet so far this week - it’s mostly engineering majors - so they must either study a lot or be gone a lot.
All of my daughter’s friends are now gone off to school, and the summer volunteer and other activities she was taking part in have ended. Now she is incredibly bored. Anyone have an idea of what she can do for the next month?
^^ Babysitting, house sitting, dog sitting? My daughter had a lot of jobs right before she went back to school this summer. My niece, new grad, is also busy doing these things especially since a lot of the kids who were doing them have gone back to school. Have your daughter ask around.
My daughter also painted her grandmother’s living room and helped her uncle’s friend move from one house to another, packing, cleaning. Do you have any projects that need doing? Clean out a garage or attic?
The last of d’s friends left yesterday so we went to the beach we have another week and I’m thinking more of the same, though she’s also working a lot to get as much cash as possible before she goes.
D1 moved into dorms this weekend, first class is Tuesday. I got her mailing address, will probably send her a little surprise something weekly. Life is good here.
So, son is unprepared to leave in two days, and we are expecting to start sending him stuff by the end of the week.
I’ve been cutting back on the nagging and helicopter parenting, but saying things like “did you wash the XL twin sheets I bought you?” and “do you have stuff to pack your clothes and things in?”.
Please wish us luck we won’t have to drive down next weekend - 3 hours each way, no easy train or bus service…
Best of wishes to others as they begin their journeys.
I’ve been MIA, since son reported to USAFA on 6/24. Almost nine weeks later, he and the rest of 2019 have conquered Basic Training, and are about to start week 3 of classes! Best of luck to all starting to cut the cord. It was so, so hard… But now I see just how much they grow in such a short time. You’d think by kid #3, I’d have the hang of this whole saying goodbye thing. But each time it tugs on the heartstrings…BIGTIME! Parenting ain’t for sissies, that’s for sure!!
Ok, so move in is complete! No one cried. In fact, DS was positively chomping at bits to be “free”… I was feeling a bit bereft about it - till I overheard 2 more parents stating the same story… then suddenly I felt better! Misery loves company! Lots of schedules to fit, walking to do. I think colleges do this so, you don’t get to stop and think… We only got back a few things and one important thing - the TWIN sheet fit the bed even when he added the bed topper… so, my twin XL that I bought in a panic came back home with me!
I still haven’t gotten emotional, and @cd2015 , that is well stated, DD was also “chomping at bits to be free” so we all ran out the door feeling good. That was Wednesday… I guess I can’t say she has fallen off the grid b/c she does answer text that I send her, but after the 24 hours, she has been “too busy” to reach out to any of us. And I am trying not to hover, or even text, I want her to reach out to me. But we have had no updates and no details, and what I have gotten were things like, “I am tired b/c I didn’t get in until 4am last night”. I want her to have a great time, but this is so unlike my child that I am trying not to freak out. Classes start today, and I will be back down there Friday night for the HC convocation so I guess I should calm down, but this letting go (of the reins - not the kid) is hard after 18 years. @shellz you are correct, this isn’t for sissies!
We fly out Thursday to move D into her dorm room on Sunday. She moves in a week earlier than other students because she is participating in the school’s freshman trip. He adventure will be volunteering with Habitat for Humanity with 14 other freshmen. Her roommate is also moving in early to do a different trip, so we will get to meet her and her family, which is nice. D is ready to start her new adventure and I am so ready to get her suitcases out of the living room!! I will miss her though. Her brother will really miss her I think.
S got his move in time changed from 7:30 pm to 3 pm - yay! I didn’t like the idea of doing most of the move at night - just seems it would be more depressing.
DW gave S’15 his one and only laundry lesson last night. We have 1 week and a day to go and it feels like all parties are ready. This being C#4 and the last one, makes it seem both sad and routine at the same time.
Piggy backing on what @mtrosemom says above; I do think its hard(er?) on the younger siblings to see each brother/sister parade out the door before them. Their relationships change dramatically after each leaves the nest. I am happy for S’15. I think he feels like its finally his turn…
we have another week and I’m thinking more of the same, though she’s also working a lot to get as much cash as possible before she goes.