Does anyone else have a lot of students from your kids’ high school at the college they chose? More than a dozen from my daughter’s high school are going to the same place, and at least two are in her same dorms, and have the same majors. They are pretty much all engineering types who were all in the engineering club together.
It’s going to be a little weird seeing the same students faces again, just 80 miles away.
My S has two others from his school attending - one was a very close friend who has decided he wants a fresh start and has cut off my S. He apparently didn’t choose the state flagship because he didn’t want to know too many people but I feel he needed to pick something farther away or more obscure if he realistically didn’t want to see anyone from his high school. It’s been very hurtful for S but hopefully he will make new experiences and friends very soon. Unfortunately he no longer wants to part of marching band because of this former friend.
My daughter does not have any kids from her high school class. There is one boy who went to her HS who is currently in his senior year, and there are 3 kids she knows from neighboring schools. This was a problem at first; she said it would have been nice to have one kid. She is fine with it now.
@LadyArwyn. There are 50 from my son’s high school, plus the ones that he went to middle school with that went to different high schools. He will have at least 60 familiar faces. Not what he wanted but that is a topic for a different thread 
I wouldn’t have minded a few familiar faces my first week… I didn’t know ANYONE. I’m starting to, though. I think there’s a lot of local kids that go here, so some of them already know each other. But almost everyone I’ve met here has been really friendly. I was sitting by myself in the dining hall one of the first days I was here and a guy that was in orientation with me came over and invited me to join the people at his table. Now if I don’t see someone I know in the dining hall when I’m there, I just sit with someone/some people I don’t know, and I’ve met a lot of new friends that way.
@singermom4 I had a friend that did that to me. He’s not going to the same college obviously, but he didn’t want to stay in contact after we both left for college. There’s more to the story, but “wanting a fresh start” seems like the main reason he didn’t want to stay in touch.
@LadyArwyn, there are about 15 kids from D’s high school at her college. Unfortunately, the one she really has never gotten along with is RIGHT. NEXT. DOOR. What are the odds of that??? This is not a small school.
Anyway, I do have some good news! It didn’t look good last night, at first. First, it seems she texts me when she has something practical to ask, and she texts my husband when she’s emotional. So she was texting him that she hates everyone there, that her and roommate were trying to find a party and were given the wrong address, and then she called another long-time friend who is going there (who is in a total social whirl and blowing her off) and the friend refused to tell them the address of the party she was at. Then she was upset about missing her friends from home, etc.
I wake up this morning to a facebook post from 12:30 am saying what a great time she had last night! Not only did they find the original party, she met people from her floor there - YAY! She ran into someone from her high school who she chatted with. And it seems she’s being sensible - she was telling my husband about the “90 lb girls chugging shots - they’re nuts” and while I’m sure she drank, it seems she kept it under control. After all, she was texting him early this morning, which means she got up for class. And another kid from her high school saw her in the dining hall and went up to her to chat.
So – she does need to follow up with the girls she met, and I really, really hope she does … but I was THRILLED to hear this today. My husband called me about it - he was as relieved as me. I think there’s a lot more adjustment ahead of her and I’m under no illusion that the tearful, depressed texts have ended. But I’m SO happy she met people and had a good time (and that she got up for class lol)! I hope there is more of that this weekend.
My daughter attends a school 2000 miles from her high school, but there are 2 kids from her kindergarten class there - we used to live in a neighboring state. One lived in her dorm and she became friends with several guys on his floor but never in his circle. I have been friends with the girl’s mother for years (kids were friends through 5th grade and drifted to other schools and groups of friends). My daughter kept saying 'I don’t want to room with H" and I’m sure H was saying the same thing. They ended up in the same sorority and are ‘friendly’ but not really friends.
As others said, it is nice to have a friendly face in those first few days, and my daughter has no trouble making friends. Just nice. The sorority sisters were shocked that these two have know each other since they were 5 years old.
@“Sans Serif” - thanks for the positive update - you know we are worrying right along with you! The fact that she communicates frequently with you and has some humor about her situation speaks volumes about her mental health. It sounds like she is on her way to finding her spot.
@albert69 - I can only think something is personally going on that this friend needs to take such drastic action. So while I am upset I am also worried for him and the fact that both his parents (my friends too) support his actions. This is not a casual friend but one he made in 9th grade who invited him to be part of his Eagle Scout ceremony and who he had lunch with every single day senior year. S told me this friend is under the impression that S chose this university because he was going . It was not part of S’ decision but would have been icing on the cake. S is not at all a clingy type of person and would have given him plenty of space - a coffee now and then to catch up would have been nice.
My DD goes to one of the smaller (but better!) state colleges in our state…she has seen a bunch of former high school classmates so far…two are in her honor dorm…and even funner…one from middle school…that she attended in GERMANY!
@singermom4 So sorry about that. Yeah, I always thought the friend I mentioned and I were close because we’d gone through so much together in CAP, but I guess he didn’t feel that way. He was always a hard person to understand though, especially socially (he was one of those people who was smart academically but not socially). I’m not going to lie and say it was always sunshine and roses between us… we had some pretty bad fights a couple of times. I’d gotten over those, but maybe he didn’t. It must be a lot harder for your son because they are at the same place and it sounds like they had been very close. I guess just try to find new friends… they could be better than high school ones.
And by fights I don’t mean physical and no, they weren’t over girls.
We are over 500 miles away and I don’t think there are any others from DS high school class. However, he does have a senior TA who is from a different high school here but is the daughter of people that DH and I know. DS recognized her name but I don’t know that he had ever met her.
The texts have fallen off since the first day of classes Monday (mainly a couple laundry questions) so I’m assuming everything is going fine for DS. Maybe we’ll have a longer conversation (maybe even live!) this weekend.
@SansSerif glad to here the good news. And you’re right about the probability of more tearful texts too. I have a junior D and still get tearful phone calls once in a while but the frequency has dropped dramatically and there are much more positive conversations/texts in between so hang in there.
@singermom4 Sorry to hear about the hs friend souring the marching band experience. Hopefully he will make more new friends in the band so that it will become a non-issue. Or the other student will come around to realizing what a mistake that attitude is. Are they in the same section? My daughter did marching band her first semester, didn’t have a great experience, and didn’t do it again, but it made her aware of the music fraternity she joined. And she still has contact with several friends (including a current roommate) from that.
@SansSerif – what a relief to see an “I had fun” message!!
There is a large number from my S’s HS at his university (large state school, so it’s expected). None are in his program, though. One friend he knew was going turned out to be in the same dorm, one floor up – didn’t realize that until they saw each other on move-in day. Another good friend is in the other honors dorm one building over. I think they’ve spent some time together this week. My S is more interested in getting out and meeting new people than his friend is, so we’ll see how long they hang out together once classes start on Monday. I don’t think he has run into anyone else, though. It’s a big place!
@STEMFamily - S decided on his university choice very close to May 1st and after drum line auditions so he decided he would try out the following year for marching band and possibly pit this year. Then this summer he decided not to do pit and jazz instead. I don’t know if his friend’s behaviour was already affecting his decisions at this point. It was only last week that he finally said that he does not even want to be in marching band now because of this friend. It was only then that I realized how much it was bothering him. They would be same section - both play snare.
@albert69 - they really got along well - S is not one to fight with anyone and neither is the other guy. S actually has some very good friends he went to school with from pre-k3 thru 8th grade so he knows there are more loyal friendships out there.
My D is going to a SLAC 3,000 miles from home. None of the kids from her HS or grade school are there.
@“Sans Serif” - I’m glad to hear that things are turning around. This is just the very beginning of college, and sometimes it takes time to find the “right” people. I remember making friends on my hall right away, but by sophomore year I realized that they weren’t the right friends for me and I made some new ones. I’m still in touch with most of them today. Tell her to hang in there – she will find the right people but it just may not happen this week.
I think one kid from D1’s class is at the university with her, but I don’t even know her major; most likely everyone D1 meets is brand new.
Mine is having a tough time. Just dropped out of two activities that were supposed to be “big” for him. He’s got the weekend to change his mind, or no involvement for the whole school year…
He’s very untalkative and normally did not text or email.
So either he is “breaking free of the mold” or he is miserable. He gives no opinion either way.
We won’t see him until October unless we push him to either let us visit or have him come home. Heck, if he has no campus activities, he’ll be free on weekends!
@rhandco Sorry to hear this. Did he decide he just didn’t want to pursue those activities? I recall one was music.
Just got up my courage to ask for this lovely young lady’s number. I probably sounded like a stammering dolt, but I got it and she didn’t seem to mind me asking. :>
I actually heard D15’s voice today! She sounded normal - not sad. She just wanted me to check an email before she sent it to a prof (wants to make a good impression).
She’s been texting every day at least once about random stuff but it’s hard to gauge mood from texts.
I’m so relieved- she had a rough first night and was a bit teary the last time we saw her.
I don’t think she’s made any pals yet but it seems like she’s talking to people and participating in activities.