Thanks @NorthernMom61 @Wolverine86 @dowzerw I am proud of her 
I also would like to get a good merit scholarshipā¦ haha I probably shouldnāt have made that thread I did though 
Iāve read many of the anxious posts on this thread 
Thatās the real reason @albert69 went OOS
Hi everyone! Just found this thread now (only 5 years late!) Iāve been around CC but didnāt know this thread existed. Nice to be in the company of other parents whose kid is a freshman.
My D is now a freshman at RPI. It was not only not her first choice, but she only applied there because she didnāt have to write a personal essay But she didnāt get accepted to her dream schools (Chicago, Stanford), and RPI offered a full tuition scholarship (actually covers some of room/board too), which made D very happy (a great boost to your self-confidence when you feel like a particular Uni wants you), and made dad (me) very happy too since there was no way I could afford an expensive private college. My D was home schooled in China (where I still live) and had no way to visit any colleges and didnāt know much about them (we unfortunately had not discovered CC at that time) since Iāve lived most of my life abroad (was raised in Europe). Also my family is all West Coast - Iāve never even been out East other than passing through NYC. So off she went to NY last summer, excited but stepping into the big unknown.
Itās worked out perfectly so far! RPI turns out to be just the place for her - small, nerdy (like her), academically focused, not a big party/sports scene (which sheās not into), and sheās fit right in. Sheās made good friends who are very supportive of each other it seems, study together, play together.
I wasnāt worried about her academic adjustment (sheās a good, self-motivated student), but I was worried how she would do socially because she didnāt have many socialization opportunities in high school since we were living abroad in countries where there just isnāt much available for teens plus she was home schooled. She always wanted me to take care of everything for her and was sometimes painfully shy with people at first. I was always pushing her towards independence but she would always resist it. But now, sheās changed so much! Sheās taking care of everything on her own - she communicates will with friends, classmates, teachers and the school administration. I havenāt had to help her with a thing, and she doesnāt even ask for my advice anymore. On the one hand, Iām a little sad to feel so un-needed all of a sudden, but on the other hand Iām greatly relieved and so happy to see her blossom in this way.
Academically sheās ranked the top 10% of RPI students so far, but of course the first semester is probably the easiest. She told me not to expect such a high GPA in future semesters I wish she would join more social clubs, do some intra-mural sports, and more extra-curricular activities, but she says sheās so busy just studying that she doesnāt have time. She is taking kendo (a martial art) which she really enjoys (had never had interest in martial arts before so this was new) and Iām grateful sheās at least doing something that involves exercise (for health reasons). She also recently joined the Chinese language club. I keep trying to encourage her to go out and explore (upstate NY has beautiful nature!), but sheās hardly left campus. Hopefully sheāll have a chance to get out more in the next semesters.
She decided to try to apply for a job at RPI for next summer (to save up money) and just a couple of days ago she was offered a full-time job helping to organize summer events on campus. Iām pretty happy about that, not so much because of the $, but the added responsibilities that it will give her and opportunities to meet more interesting people. So I wonāt see her next summer (sniff!!) but itāll be a good experience for her and sheās quite happy about it.
Sorry for rambling. Itās just nice to talk with other parents whose kid is in the same situation. Good luck to all of you!
Thanks for sharing such a great success story#
Welcome @insanedreamer! As @Wolverine86 mentioned, we arenāt quite the active thread we were last year at this time. #:-S But a lot of us do check in from time to time, and I love hearing how all our kiddos are doing. Glad to hear your D is doing great. I have a college junior and it just took her a while to get going socially. Freshman S seems to be following same pattern. Some kids just want to hang back, observe, and then choose what they want to participate in.
Hi, everyone! Just got back from parentsā weekend in sunny Californiaā¦whoever decided to have parents weekend in February is all right in my book! So nice to see some blue sky and sun (son)!!
Everywhere we went, he was enthusiastically greeted by nameā¦warmed my heart to see. Academics are fineā¦rigorous, yesā¦but he feels like he was adequately prepared and can hold his own.
Now itās time to move on to S17 who is a junior. Iāve got to get my head back into the college admissions game!
It is so nice to hear how kids are doing now that they are away. It sounds like most are successfully navigating their new lives. I also have a S17, and we are back to visiting colleges and taking standardized tests (Sās school district is taking the ACT this morning as part of new state-wide testing.) It is fun but exhausting steering another one towards his path. Good luck to all of the kids in the last half of their freshman year!!
Itās really nice to read all of the updates on here. Itās wonderful to read that so many of your kids (and also many of us parents) are doing so well with the adjustment to college.
Welcome, insanedreamer!
And to those of you setting back out on this course yet again, with a younger child, I hope you will have an easier (since you arenāt starting from the beginning even if they want different things) and less stressful time with the college process.
I have a S17 too. We took our first college tour last weekend at a SUNY school, but no clear thoughts came of it. Heās such a different kid than his brother and sister. He tests well but his grades donāt reflect it because he often doesnāt turn in homework. 
Heās much more interested in running track in college than in any particular major so this is a very different college selection process than Iāve ever experienced before! Heaven help me.
Oh my gosh! I canāt imagine doing it all again. I am not sure I have fully recovered from last yearās stress. My daughterās senior year was insane, not just because of college and scholarship applications, but the unexpected way that the process dragged on for our family, the shifting sands that went with different scholarship options, and all of the other stuff she was doing last year. Once we adjusted to the initial āpulling the bandaid offā experience of being sudden empty nesters, we have all fallen into this nice pattern of existence now, and it has been a delight to watch our daughterās experience as a first year college student unfold.
All the best to you who are going through this again. It is exciting. It is hard. But most things in life like that are worthi it.
My son is at RPI, but he had a tough time first semester. He came in with a lot of AP credits, so that may have affected how hard his courseload was. One course was originally sophomore year for his major, and for entering 2015 students, it was changed to senior year. And he took that senior course first semester freshman year.
Iām impressed a home-schooled child could get a full ride at RPI. She must have had very high SAT scores as that is what they base scholarships on, unless you guys are really low EFC. Being a girl going to a 30% female school might help too.
My son had to write an essay for RPI, but it was the general Common App essay.
But as for partying at RPI, Iām not sure why you think it isnāt into partying that much. Lots of alcohol around including frat parties, very easy for my son to find alcohol as much as he would want to. Maybe she is just choosing to avoid the drinking and partying. When I was a freshman first semester at another college, I thought there werenāt too many parties, then I joined a sorority and I was amazed how many parties I was missing by staying home.
There have already been issues in the dorms with underage drinking, pulling fire alarms, etc.
DS arrives home today from SS-LAC! I think this semester is not quite as good as last semester because he doesnāt like his classes as much. Heās in 2nd semester calc, which is calc - not that exciting. His econ class was supposed to have econ 1 has a prereq but he says itās very hard without having had intermediate macro/micro. I think the math has turned him off of econ as a major and heās back to poli sci and peace & conflict studies dual major.
I might whine about about DDā17. I know last year I filled you all in on how she went into depression/anxiety and changed schools. Sheās back at her regular high school but has decided that she really doesnāt want to do homework. At progress report half way through 3rd quarter she had Fs in all 3 of her core classes. I got her a tutor who doesnāt help her so much as sit with her to make sure she does her work and sheās up to a B, D and F. The F is physcis and the tutor couldnāt help her becuase he never took it so sheās switching from advanced to regular after Spring Break. She takes her 32% with her and itās hard to do the math that gets to 70% by the end of the semester for a C. It requires almost perfect work, which seems exceedingly unlikely. So she had a D in English in the fall and will probably have a D or worse in physics this semester; plus possibly one other D and lots of Cs; As in art though! Sheās taking the SAT right now since I signed her up at the beginning of spring semester when she was feeling really optimistic about how she would do this semester but I guess the truth is, with her GPA it doesnāt really matter much how she does and so I told her to just take it and do her best. I expect she will get a reasonably good score based on her PSAT sophomore year (she didnāt take it junior year, had a headache or some such thing). Since she doesnāt want to do work I donāt really see her going to college after (if) she graduates HS so no college visits. If she doesnāt get her act together soon she can work and take a class at community college to get in the habit of doing work before going to a 4-year college. The thing that makes me sad is that we set her up to go to a good small college like we did her brother and she will not get into one we can afford so sheāll probably end up at Ginormous State U if she goes to college at all. DS would have thrived at any college but DD is the one who could really use the attention she could get at a small college. Oh well, we all make choices. So those of you with D or Sā17, enjoy these crazy times - Iām jealous!
@PhxRising ā¦ Sorry to hear your '17er is struggling with homework issues. On the bright side weāve seen enough kids of various friends/family members over the years to know that there are multiple paths to a successful future, many of which are ānon-traditionalā and many which donāt necessarily involve college whatsoever. We can beg/plead/cajole/nudge them in the way weād like to see them go, but in the end we just become observers on whatever journey they choose.
I was just discussing this with the founder of an engineering firm in our area. He said of all the people he has working for him, only one actually has an engineering degree (and that person is about 7th on his āgo toā list if he needs something done).
The founder himself dropped out of HS in 10th grade to start working on his own. He owns the $27M airplane that I flyā¦and he paid cash for it. ^:)^ You just never know where life is going to lead you. Hang in there. >:D<
Thank you, @Wolverine86 . I know there are many paths. Itās just frustrating that sheās so obviously smart and just wonāt do the work. She said she failed the SAT and was upset but the ice cream I bought her may help. I just hate that she seems to want to make her path as hard as possible when a much easier path was laid out for her. Maybe someday sheāll own a $27M airplane too!
@PhxRising, Iām sorry, that sounds challenging. I understand your frustration, believe me. My eldest believed that homework was a suggestion not an obligation and she worked in school only when it suited her. Try to keep your eyes fixed on the long view and have faith it will work out. Several months ago, that same daughter vented to me about the people who report to her at work and their lack of work ethic. Oh yes, things can change.
@PhxRising, let me add the story of a close friend. He did not do particularly well in HS, and in college (state directional) had to take a year off because his grades were so poor. He went back, graduated, and then went on to get his MBA and CPA, also at schools you donāt hear much about on CC but that are good schools. His career arc has been interesting. He ended up running multi-million dollar companies, and now works in M&A. Life is funny. Man plans and God laughs, as they say. There really are many paths. I do have to ask, though: might your D be depressed? Hang in there, mama. I know it must be frustrating.
@suzy100: Yes, she was depressed much of sophomore year. Now she is medicated and we are just now weaning off the meds a teeny bit and finding other meds so that sheās not so sleepy all the time. Some of the reluctance to do homework might have been not having energy to do it. Now she seems more energetic and still doesnāt do it! I think the depression is now under control, but Iām not sure about the anxiety. Sheās always been one to do what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it so we canāt tell if not doing her homework is because sheās anxious, oppositional, or just has things she wants to do more. Truth is, she knows that someone will somehow come in and save her, although very late last semester she studied enough to turn an F into a D in English and a D into a C in physics. Earlier this term sheād dug herself such a deep hole in three classes I had to hire a tutor for two of them and never quite got it together to get a tutor for the 3rd so that remains an F.
@PhxRising - my sister is not a multimillionaire and she doesnāt own a plane, but sheās doing well for herself despite never having graduated high school. (She did get a GED). She only liked art classes and she moved out of our house halfway through her senior year and in with her boyfriend with several uncompleted classes. Our house was a pretty unpleasant place to be at the time, so I donāt really blame her for making that choice. We sometimes call ourselves the lost generation - we had a lot of setbacks due to family issues, some poor decisions made due to those issues, but we got our crap together and our children have had many of the advantages and support that we did not.
@Irishmomof2 Thank you. Iād like to think that growing up in our household has not been so horrible and I donāt really know why DD has chosen to do nothing that she doesnāt want to do. I can certainly think of things Iād do differently in parenting her and even in parenting DS, who by all objective measures is doing fine. Itās not like weāre always having a laugh, but we have always supported the kids I thought. NO one including intensive outpatient psychologist and others can actually figure out whatās going on with her. Her long term therapist doesnāt seem to have much of a clue either. She may be successful someday. At this point Iād love for her to graduate HS and be ready to move out of the house, either to college or something else, in August 2017.
Hang in there @PhxRising. The straight to four year college path is not the only path. We would all like to believe that it will make things easier but that isnāt necessarily the case either. And it is an expensive proposition these days when behaviors that you are facing are not very predictive of success. I can think of many examples in my own family of members who just barely got through high school. One member who has not stepped into a classroom EVER since high school, is a self taught chef who has won āchef of the yearā awards many times in his local area. However, as a teen he was often helping a friend build stock cars, and has taken those skills to building food trucks which are super popular right now. He buys used delivery trucks and turns them into the most high end mobile kitchens you can imagine. At this very moment he is making way more than anyone else in the family.
You have put down a solid foundation under your daughter and tried to provide the necessary supports when she needed them to grow. Now is the hard part, letting her fall if thatās what it takes for her to rebuild. The foundation will still be there though. Hang in there, it is rough rough rough.
As much as it pains us, some kids have to experience things rather than be told. Good luck with your D Phxrising. Sounds like she needs to find her own way. As long as she knows that you are there for her, she knows there is a safety net of sorts. It is hard. My brother was like that. It took him longer than it would have on a regular path to find himself, but he is successful and happy. He did not end up going graduating from college, much to my parents chagrin, but he ended up in a field that was new and growing, and his ultimate experience mattered more than a degree.