Thank you to all. I thought we had found the perfect school (actually I still believe it’s the perfect school), and was ready to put down a deposit, but we waited. We then visited another school where she believes she may be happier, but cost is a huge factor (about 12K per year more expensive) and there are some factors that I believe may present some challenges. I think the problem is that she’s just worried she’ll make the wrong decision again and end up unhappy and unable to transfer to again.
My son isn’t miserable, but he is having a tough time with academics 
Everything else is okay as far as I know.
I think the thing about a student being miserable at a college is that the whole picture should be looked at, keeping in mind this is only 4 years of their life.
- academics - too hard, too easy, not the right concentration for the student’s interests
- location - how far from home? how much is this a factor?
- weather - does it make it hard to get to class? too nice weather = too many distractions?
- social life - too many frats, too many jocks, too many geeks, too many liberals or conservatives - too much casual dating, not enough casual dating…
- day to day issues - is not wanting to get out of bed due to the school or other things?
I was sick a lot my first year of college, as I was a lot in HS. It made things difficult, especially with rainy weather, but I got over it. I also got really down on college end of sophomore year, but realized that it was my dating situation having broken up with somebody and felt like I was never going to meet anyone again. It didn’t make me feel better, but I did my best to stay with my academics even though I was down.
I do think the college administration can be a bad fit too, but I also think that most college’s administration have little understanding of what students (and professors) deal with on a day to day basis.
College is sort of like a marriage, but it is only 4 years. If the degree is prestigious enough, it might be worth it to suck it up and stay four years. If there are many choices in the same league, why be miserable for three more years?
Now with 3 having gone to the same school, I’m happy they are happy. Happy the finances worked so that they won’t graduate with debt. Happy each one of my different kids (social vs not, loud vs quiet, love sports, hates them, likes parties, likes smaller groups, political vs apolitical) have thrived and been challenged academically. Have had fun and experiences. School works with me/them and not against. It’s all been great. Thankful we didn’t choose prestige over fit. Would do it again in a heartbeat. But I do know we’ve all been very lucky, very very lucky. A happy kid makes a Mom’s heart so much lighter.
Couldn’t agree more!
By the way, I’m starting to feel like I’m the only dad on this forum. Any others?
S had his pick of the litter when it came to choosing a college and it was an extremely difficult/stressful process. I know it may sound ridiculous, but when you can choose anywhere, there is incredible pressure to make the perfect choice. That perfect choice was never really clear, and there will always be “what ifs.” There have been a lot of ups and downs this year and although he seems generally content and plans to stay put, in hindsight there was probably a better school for him…
4 more days and two more finals and it will be move-out time!
D just texted me and asked if her friend could come home with her and stay overnight before his flight out the next morning. Then she remembered that the largest car we own is a Prius and she would have to get all of her and his stuff in it. We are actually planning to go up the weekend before move out (its a 2 hour drive for us) and pick up most of her stuff. And he can’t have more than a couple of suitcases since he is flying right? This may be doable but it will certainly be interesting.
D isn’t out until mid May, but she is in the home stretch. Their spring term is a 4-week mini term where they only take one class. She is taking the Geology of Hawaii and, yes, it includes a trip to Volcano Nat’l Park in Hawaii. 
She won’t be coming home until August though because she will go straight to an internship after move out. Move out is on her own because of that.
@jennie11, I’m really sorry that your daughter has not had a good year. Be patient. It will come. She now has a better idea what didn’t work for her and she will be able to choose a school that fits more with what she does want next time around.
Mine is smack in the middle of the end of the year frenzy so I would not pick this as the time to say she’s happy happy happy, lol. Overall, it’s been a great year for her with a lot of learning and growth across academic and social lines. She’s made great friends, enjoyed living in a city and has taken advantage of many of the amazing and varied opportunities open to her. Have you all been equally amazed by how much these kids get to experience? College wasn’t like this in my day.
She still has a couple more weeks to go before everything is done. She’ll be home for a few weeks then off to her internship.
@planner03 wrote "S had his pick of the litter when it came to choosing a college and it was an extremely difficult/stressful process. I know it may sound ridiculous, but when you can choose anywhere, there is incredible pressure to make the perfect choice. That perfect choice was never really clear, and there will always be “what ifs.”
Three years ago, my S, currently a junior ,put it this way " there were a few colleges kind enough to accept us, now we have to say no to almost all of them "
My daughter’15 has less than two months left in Germany, then she is flying back to the USA but not home
Hard to believe the first year is nearly over–this time last year, my d was still trying to make up her mind. She had a hard time deciding, but she’s been very happy with her choice. And now next year, we’ll be doing this all over again with d18.
@KAMmom, I am doing it now with S17! Next year at this time we should be about done with the sorting hat. Then Fall 17 it will be move in time for him! D15 will be on her own for move back in… actually, that may be the start of her study abroad. 
@mtrosemom, lol about the sorting hat. Isn’t that just right. My D18 has no idea what she wants to study or what kind of college she wants, so the process is going to be a lot different this time around.
@3girls3cats Yes, the opportunities are amazing and not just at school. DS went for Passover to a friend’s family in Westchester. They live in a Frank Lloyd Wright designed community and are musicians so he ended up at the Metropolitan Opera for Elektra and at a small concert with world class musicians at a church the next day. His dad and I lived in NYC before kids and saw Elektra at the Met and other concerts. Pretty cool for a boy from Phoenix, Arizona!
S’16 is staying local…saw D’15 struggle with being to far away. D will be home in exactly 7 days. She has had a good second semester and loves her classes but we still are getting…love school mom, but it so far away from home. She has register for next year classes but also has applied to two transfer school closer to home. I think once the pressure is off and she gets a couple weeks to think with a clear head she can decide. She actually reapplied to a school that was second on her list last year and they said yes with the same financial package. She has until June 1 to decide for both and or to return to the “program of her dreams” her words still not mine
@insanedreamer … You’re not the only member of the Y chromosome crowd here. There’s a few of us lurking in shadows. :-h
S finished up with back to back finals today. D2 has 2 finals on Monday and then she’ll be done. Mrs. Wolverine will be heading down this weekend to get her stuff packed up and they’ll be back on Tuesday. Looking forward to having 2 of our 3 kids home at the same time at least. <:-P
@Wolverine86 great! nice to have company. Enjoy a great time with your kids! My D doesn’t finish finals until May 20.
My daughter will be flying over the Pacific at this time next Friday. I can hardly stand the wait.
@NorthernMom61 My S got a TA job on campus this summer, so he’ll be staying in MA until end of July.
@NorthernMom61 enjoy a great time together!