<p>PN, I’m all in favor of using subjective measures to honor students and of using various criteria to honor students. What I don’t favor is (1) ignoring scholarship based on temperament, particularly when extroversion is already favored and rewarded, (2) blatant favoritism without SOME academic underpinnings and (3) labeling the award one of academic achievement. If awards were given out with specific criteria as they are at other schools–leadership, community service, participation, excellence in targeted extracurriculars etc–I’d be fine. But at least in the schools we’ve known before, “top student” awards always went to top students and yes, that meant grades because presumably grades took more than just performance on tests into account. My daughter isn’t just a test taker. She’s an involved, engaged student who cares deeply about learning and who puts her full self into her classes. She’s not one who jumps into discussion easily because she needs time to reflect before she can contribute–perhaps that’s a weakness. But she will engage teachers privately to ask about ideas or questions and works with others without ego. I know I’m biased and I don’t mean to sound defensive but she is a scholar and her excellence as a scholar has been underscored over many years. I guess I’m also a bit frustrated that scholarship has become so devalued, at least where I live and where she attends school. </p>
<p>Seriously, thanks for your perspective. It’s all helpful in sorting it out.</p>
<p>3girls congrats to your senior! How exciting!! Sometimes in life things happen that do not seem fair or clear cut. This award fits into that category. Please try your best to put it behind you for your own sanity ( trust me, I would feel exactly like you so I understand how difficult this is). Forge ahead and realize that your daughter has many wonderful opportunities waiting for her. Perhaps the kids who were honored will not be as fortunate.</p>
<p>To be really crass about it, you’re paying for private school to get a more nurturing academic environment and, eventually, two teachers who will write great recs for your kid and a well-networked GC who will go to bat for her and not try to under match her just to process caseload. The awards are probably meaningless as long as your kid is having a good experience in class, but I think you would be within bounds to talk to the GC about whether she or he sees your kid as part of the emerging top group they will place in 2015, and if not what else would help get her there. Keep an open mind about what they say, but if you are paying for college prep HS, you ought to be able to have that conversation.</p>
<p>Thanks twogirls! I know you understand what it’s like to have something like this crop up when you have a child who cares so deeply and works so hard.</p>
<p>SomeOldGuy, thanks! Her GC is a very nice man and very open to talking to parents. I will corner him next chance I get :)</p>
<p>I’m really sorry this happened to your D. She sounds wonderful and mature; kuddos to you for raising such a great daughter.</p>
<p>I am the parent of a highly extroverted son (2012er), a quite introverted son (2015er), and one that’s mixed (2022er!).</p>
<p>Believe me, I <em>completely</em> understand the challenges you have. As I peruse various scholarships at schools, I see most of them are for “leadership”. Well, my middle son is not a leader in any way compared to my oldest who was a naturally gregarious leader and won many awards/scholarships for that natural bent.</p>
<p>However, my middle son does have some quiet leadership qualities that I plan to emphasize as much as possible. At least one of his teachers sees this (we homeschool but he takes class at a co-op) and she’s already written an outstanding letter of rec. for a particular program. I plan to find the people who are most supportive of my son and have them be the ones who will speak on his behalf.</p>
<p>He recently won a full scholarship to Belin Blank’s NSI program (it was through the Jack Kent Cooke program and was for twice-exceptional students). He was also admitted into the program. Unfortunately, we don’t have the money for a flight and he, truth be told, is actually scared to fly alone because of his diabetes and all that could go wrong with airport security. So, he won’t be attending.</p>
<p>I was encouraged, though, that he was chosen and that he had two teachers write excellent letters. He’s been through so much with his health (and just had ear surgery this week and hasn’t been feeling great since-bleh). I so want this son to feel success and to recognize that he has great qualities that don’t need to look like his older, extroverted brothers’.</p>
<p>Sorry to ramble. It’s been a rough going lately with all his health issues. He takes the SAT in June. I hope the accommodations will help him. If he can get a decent score (I’m hoping for over 2000; we’ll see), I hope it boosts his confidence.</p>
<p>Hi - I just discovered this thread and thought I’d join in. I’ve been reading CC for several months, which has been both good and bad - lots of information, load of anxiety. I have a sophomore who is in the honors track. She starts AP and dual enrollment next year. She has only made one B so far (which resulted from a C on a final exam in English that she studied the wrong material for) and works very hard to maintain her GPA. </p>
<p>On the flipside, I have been having a difficult time encouraging her to get involved in anything that will help her have strong extra-curriculars. Her school is pretty sad in its offerings. They have sports and clubs but the clubs that she is interested in are poorly attended and she has sometimes been the only one there… even the teacher stopped showing up. She’s an avid music listener, but not a musician and she doesn’t do any sanctioned sports. She is heavily involved in our karate school where they are training her to one day be in a position to teach or even open her own school so she’s getting loads of leadership experience. So that’s good. I just find myself fretting over the EC section on her common application. I know I shouldn’t, but that’s where reading this forum brings the anxiety.</p>
<p>Laclos - you summed up CC perfectly - lots of good information, lots of anxiety (and throw in some erroneous information too!). </p>
<p>EC’s don’t at all have to be through the school. Her karate is definitely an EC - one that she’s putting lots of time and effort into and earning recognition as a leader. Perfect. If the school EC’s are lame, wasting time going to meetings where she’s the only one is a silly. I think she’s doing it right - she’s spending time doing things that she enjoys. That’s what extracurricular activities are supposed to be, and then college like to hear about what makes a student tick, etc. It isn’t supposed to be about going to lame meetings so you can list empty experiences on applications. Good for her!</p>
<p>3girls - I think your daughter sounds awesome! I wasn’t implying she’s nothing but a good test taker. :)</p>
<p>Most college applicants get into their first choice school! :eek: - the overwhelming majority <a href=“88%20percent”>b</a>* of students who apply to college right out of high school get into their first choice*</p>
<p>3girls-Sorry to hear about your frustration. It is hard to let it go .but the strong work ethic and the healthy attitude your D has will take her farther. Congrats on raising such a great kid!</p>
<p>Laclos, I understand and empathize about the anxiety. I’m happy to reassure you that your D’s karate is a wonderful EC, both for her personally and for college applications. How great for her! I don’t think there is any particular formula with respect to college apps and it’s certainly not necessary to be involved in many clubs. It’s more important to get something out of the activities you do select and be able to convey that.</p>
<p>That said, is she frustrated by the lack of opportunities at school? If so, maybe she can approach a teacher or advisor and get some help either building up an existing club or starting one of her own. Also, if she’s so inclined, can she ask to help serve as a peer tutor? But if this is only a concern for her college applications, don’t worry!</p>
<p>Laclos it sounds like your daughter has a great EC in karate, and being trained to teach karate is amazing!!! My plan for junior year is to put on my blinders and ear plugs and only focus on my daughter. I don’t want to get involved in the college talk that is bound to happen as I watch the sporting events this fall because I will get the shakes. If I have any comments or questions I will come here! I told my daughter to " zip her lip" - she will be applying for some scholarships through guidance and it’s not necessary for it to be discussed throughout the school. Friday evening I had 3 kids in my car and they started with college stuff and I felt myself getting tense. My daughter has no APs this year. She will be taking the lit and chem SAT 2 on June 1. I went on CC lit SAT 2 forum and read about what was on the test. When I asked my daughter if she knew this stuff she started laughing- I guess that’s a good sign. She will review some poetry terms and call it a day. Last year she did bio and it went well. My suggestion is that we all take a deep breath and keep reminding ourselves that this will all work out. If our kids are happy and healthy, life is good. A Happy Mother’s Day to all!!</p>
<p>@twogirls, so your D. is taking SAT Lit? Did she study for it? My D. wants to take it, but she has no idea what it’s like. Where is CC lit SAT 2 forum? Can you send a link so she can take a look? Thanks! She is definitely not taking it in June. Probably later this year or next year. In June, she’ll take US history.</p>
<p>Yes she will be taking the SAT lit and chem on June 1. Last year she took bio and did well without studying, so we will see what happens this time around lol ! Chem will be fine as the class is a super super intense honors class that prepares them well. Not sure about lit but she will take her chances. She will review literary terms for a few days prior, but that is it. I looked at the SAT subject test forum- if you keep scrolling you will find the lit section to the SAT 2. I really do not know what to expect, but she typically scores well on these tests so we will take our chances. If you do a search on CC for SAT 2 Lit you should get a ton of info. I hope this helps a little.</p>
<p>twogirls - I need to make this my mantra. I feel this way about most things. She doesn’t want to practice driving to get her license and I shrug it off because I know that she’ll eventually drive. What’s the hurry? But with the college apps it feels like there is a time clock ticking and only a set amount of time to do a set amount of things in a set order with a set scoresheet that has to be met. I don’t think I’ll stress about her getting into grad school or getting a job after school like I do about college because those things seem to proceed at variable speeds for everyone. College seems to be this cattle chute of achievement that’s one size fits all. </p>
<p>And I’m not stressing because I have a any specific goal I am hoping she’ll achieve. For me it’s all about options. If she does everything she possibly can now, then I think in 2 years she’ll be glad to have more opportunities. I think that in 2 years she’ll be a different person than she is now and I want her to find that whatever it is she decides to do, she will have that option open to her. So I am torn between pushing her and letting her take the lead. </p>
<p>I’m glad I found this thread though. It’s nice hearing from all of you who are going through this now as well.</p>
<p>Hi Laclos!! Our kids are only sophomores so you really still have some time. Yes they have a lot to do but they are fine!! My friend at work has a son who is a junior and he has not taken the SAT yet! My friend says he is studying for the SAT 2 and he will take the SAt/ ACT in September. She is upset but seems ok. So…right now is the perfect time to start planning visits and narrowing down the list. Make a plan to take the tests. Yes it’s a stressful time but it’s also exciting and a lot of fun. It really does all work out in the end. When my older one got accepted to the school she wanted to go to I started to cry and I thought, " wow, the system really does work!" When my older daughter was born my uncle called me and said, " don’t blink because when you do, she will be in college." Just relax and enjoy this exciting time. I promise you that it will all work out.</p>
<p>I basically have 3 areas that I concentrate on in my role of controlling parent. One is her school classes and GPA which I don’t worry about because she’s doing a great job there and is a self-starter who decided early on she wants to make straight A’s in the honors track. Two is her SAT prep, which she is extremely reluctant to cooperate with. She did her PSAT in the fall and her scores were not bad considering she didn’t prep much at all for it. She’ll take the PSAT again for the NMF eligibility but that’s a long shot unless she takes it more seriously. I have a whole summer schedule planned around daily SAT prep and vocab boosting. (Is it just me or is it shocking some of the words these kids don’t already know?) Three is the EC’s, which for the moment is karate. I’m hoping next year to get her into the scholastic bowl and have her do the chemistry olympiad. </p>
<p>It’s funny too because I have a 9 year old who is not interested in anything academic but who is probably going to have a ton of EC’s by the time she’s in high school just because she’s so into everything - computers, gymnastics, soccer, karate, drumming, guitar, piano, etc. But she hates school and has already started asking what alternatives there are to going to college. I can picture her ending up going an entirely different route even though she’ll have all these actvities. Funny how different kids can be.</p>
<p>Laclos, as you can tell from my name here, I have three daughters and they are very different from each other. </p>
<p>Eldest wanted independence practically from birth. She was a leader, many ECs, some standout academics, but a stubborn refusal to play the game. She didn’t care about certain subjects so she just didn’t perform in those subjects. In her areas of interest she was exceptional. She didn’t care about the SAT so she flat out refused to prepare for it. She won a slew of awards for academics and leadership, while also earning Cs in other areas. She handled college admissions almost completely on her own and you can imagine how stressful that year was for me. </p>
<p>Middle daughter has always had more difficulty academically but she was a (mostly) conscientious and diligent worker who did well, not brilliantly, in testing and classes. She had a reasonable slate of interests and activities (she too taught karate) and I found her a lot easier to deal with when it came to college admissions. Her biggest challenge is her tendency to self-deprecate. </p>
<p>Now we come to Youngest Daughter and I’m back to the drawing board. This quiet, studious kid is diligent like middle sister but stubborn like oldest sister and she just refuses to step into the limelight. It doesn’t help that we live in a different state and she attends a different school with very different values from what we’ve lived. On the flip side, I don’t have to nag her to study, turn in homework, or prepare for standardized testing. </p>
<p>I know I’m going to be a wreck again this time around but I’m vowing to enjoy these years before she’s gone.</p>
<p>She might hate the idea, 3girls, but it just popped into my head reading about your youngest. Any chance she’d be interested in an all women college? Bryn Maur, Smith, etc? Sometimes young women who don’t grab the spotlight really bloom in those schools, and she has the academic record to be admitted.</p>
<p>Funny you should mention this. My middle girl is graduating from a women’s college next weekend and she is trying hard to recruit youngest D to her school. It’s true that these colleges are very supportive and that professors groom the motivated and bright young women for post grad opportunities. Two of D2’s close friends have Fulbrights!</p>
<p>Hmmm, this talk of the women’s colleges has me interested. I know there are some that allow you to take classes at other schools that have males too. Does anybody have info on those or just throw out some names and I can go looking?</p>
<p>D is one big stressball right now. It is crunch time and APUSH is tomorrow. She doesn’t feel prepared and wants to do really well - her teacher said he expects her to get a 5. I told her just to do her best and not worry too much about it. I’ll be happy when school is out for the summer!</p>
<p>And good luck to all of the kiddos taking APUSH tomorrow!</p>