Parents of the HS Class of 2015

<p>Sally, the mother’s day planning is so sweet! I love it. </p>

<p>Twogirls and STEMfamily, my D has been complaining about the same lack of feedback. Once she tried to edit an essay and the teacher looked at her as if she had two heads. Why would she want to edit a 97 paper? Twogirls, I’m impressed that your D was able to turn it around by taking the initiative and talking to her teachers…and that they listened! That’s fantastic. We hear that APUSH is a really tough class at Ds school. I talked to the teacher and figured out that the reason it’s such a shock is that it’s the first time that these kids actually get feedback, real feedback, on their writing.</p>

<p>Welcome mamabear!</p>

<p>mamabear welcome! </p>

<p>Next year D. will take 4 APs. So at this time next year she’ll be very busy. However, there won’t be problems like the English teacher suddenly decided to bombard them with homework and projects.</p>

<p>Welcome mamabear!</p>

<p>Just about 2 and a half weeks left for my D. Unfortunately, they don’t let kids exempt out of any finals except if they take the AP exam in that class. So D will get out of the US History final, but that’s it.</p>

<p>Her English teacher also just assigned them a big project, due the day after she takes APUSH. What’s up with that?!</p>

<p>I was also shocked that my daughter was able to turn it around- maybe it’s because 16 kids dropped the class? I also think that teachers are under the impression that good students do not need feedback. Not true. If my daughter gets 2 points taken off she wants to know exactly why so that it does not happen again. I keep repeating " only 7 weeks… Only 7 weeks."</p>

<p>Interesting problems with English teachers. </p>

<p>@twogirls, when did the 16 kids drop the class? Was it recently, or at the beginning of the school year? My D. wish she had switched to a different English class. Her friends who knew things about the teacher switched class before school started or early in the school year. Fortunately we’ve heard good things about the AP English teachers next year and senior year. Hopefully it’ll work out better.</p>

<p>The kids dropped out in the fall. They dropped out little by little up until the last day it was allowed- probably November. The main complaint was that she was not teaching. This was an 11th grade honors class which was one quarter sophomores and three quarters juniors. My daughter basically taught herself and got annoyed if any point was taken off without an explanation. The teacher is so nice that I hate to get her into any trouble, but thankfully she turned it around and starting giving feedback on papers. As far as the " not teaching" is concerned, I had no issues. My daughter worked and did well in the class. My daughters honors Chem class also had issues. It was difficult and many felt it was taught at an AP level. I had no complaints, but many parents wanted an honors class that was really an honors class, not one that was borderline AP. The dept. chair told the parents that yes, the level of difficulty was increased to make it equal to the other HS in the district. My daughter was not crazy about her global teacher’s disorganization, but thankfully she did well. Too many issues this year with people complaining!!! I am glad the year is almost over and she did a great job. Junior year here we come!!</p>

<p>“Most Rigorous Courses” – how do you think college admission office and scholarship committee consider this? For example, let’s say we have two students (A and B) coming from two different schools. They both have taken the most rigorous HS courses at their respective schools but student A has taken higher level courses than student B b/c these higher level courses were not available at student B’s school. </p>

<p>From admission standpoint, are they considered “equal” applicants? Providing all other factors are same (i.e., test scores, ECs…etc.), I would consider students A and B equally qualified applicants. Would you agree? </p>

<p>What about from scholarship standpoint? Kids who took no AP (b/c not offered) considered equal applicant to kids who have taken 10 or more APs when merit $ is given out? I ask because when you look at the stats/posts of kids who got merit scholarship, I don’t get the impression the school considers them “equal.” Any thoughts?</p>

<p>^^^ Colleges want students who have challenged themselves. If the HS does not offer sufficiently challenging courses, then the students should challenge themselves outside of school. e.g., taking advanced courses through community college or online, self-study for AP, ECs that develop an interest to a high level, participating in competitions, etc.</p>

<p>A student who has pursued challenge outside-of-school should make sure the folks who write their letters of recommendation (usually the HS counselor and one or two teachers, but sometimes someone associated with an EC) are aware of their efforts and accomplishments. A good way to convey this information is to offer the letter-writer a resume or cover letter that summarizes what the student has done.</p>

<p>Good question. I also read on this web site that students should participate in EC’s that are related to their major. I have a friend who does interviews for an Ivy and she told me that this is not necessary, especially because most kids do not know what they want and many change their major. I think kids should focus on what they enjoy doing and things will fall into place.</p>

<p>I could use some perspective and support along with some honest feedback.</p>

<p>D’s school holds an academic awards ceremony at the end of school year. As I understand it, the school recognizes 4-5 students in each grade in each subject area as those who have distinguished themselves, presumably academically. Last year, D received no awards. She was devastated. Since she had perfect and sometimes above perfect scores in each subject, I approached two appropriate people at the school to ask about the criteria for the awards. I was told immediately that the likelihood was that the kids who got the awards had lower grades than D but that they brought something special to the class. What would that be, I asked? As far as I could tell, the answer was participation, an outgoing personality and even to the point where it trumped actual achievement. I objected to this and continue to object. The “look at me” kids are rewarded constantly, in many contexts outside of the classroom, and if this recognition is truly supposed to honor academic achievement, that’s what should be honored. I also suggested that if this was the criterion that the award should be so labeled as a leadership or participation award so that it’s clear that academic scholarship per se is not being recognized. At least one of the girls who received recognition in English is in D’s English class this year and I’m not being bitter or mean when I report that she isn’t a good student. Outspoken, yes. Engaged, yes. Intelligent, not so much.</p>

<p>This year, D is being passed over again. But this time in addition to the grades, there are several other pieces of relevant information:

  1. In at least one class she does participate and has been recognized as “saving the class.”
  2. She received recognition for two different pieces of writing in two different places, one nationally, one through the school (rare for a sophomore).
  3. One of her teachers wrote to us that she was the brightest student he’d taught in more than 11 years of teaching.</p>

<p>This year, D says she doesn’t care that she’s not receiving an award. She says that they are popularity contests and meaningless. The problem for me is that I’m angry. No, not angry, FURIOUS. I know that this girl is a quiet and retiring person. That was the reason for sending her to a smaller private school. If I’d wanted her to fall through the cracks I could have sent her to public school and saved the rather hefty tuition. I’ve been able to keep my feelings inside so D is feeling pretty sanguine about it all, a big improvement over last year. </p>

<p>That said, I’m having a hard time with this. Should I once again talk to the powers that be at the school or consider it a lost cause? Apart from the awards, I’m wondering about the repercussions they have on recommendations for college and on the weight of her application to college.</p>

<p>Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far.</p>

<p>I totally understand your feelings. Our HS has an academic banquet every year honoring the top 50 kids in each grade ( about the top 12%). This is truly based only on academics. I understand your feelings and would react the same way. I would speak to the " powers that be" once again- I am not sure whether that is right or wrong, but that is what I would do. I would tell them that this " academic awards" ceremony does not seem to be based on academics!! Is it actually called an academic awards ceremony? Is there any specific criteria? Our school makes it 100% objective- ie based totally on GPA. Maybe your daughter can find out from guidance? She needs to find out the exact criteria that the school uses to be nominated for this program. On another note, sometimes schools nominate kids for certain programs just based on the fact that their academics are not great but they have a certain quality that should be honored. Perhaps that is really what this is, but they call it an academic award?</p>

<p>In our HS the guidance counselors have no problem with parents calling and emailing freshman and sophomore year, but once junior year comes they do not want parents contacting them at all. They want juniors and seniors to take over the job completely. This applies to college and academics. If a serious issue comes up that is another story. That being said, can your daughter ask guidance these questions? I know that you said she is ok with it, but she really deserves answers and at least be told what this award is really based on. If I did not have this info I would be upset as well.</p>

<p>I’d move on otherwise it will look like sour grapes. Take the attitude of your D. It is just a popularity contest.
A few years ago my S graduated middle school top of his class. He was a model student/citizen in the eyes of everyone who knew him. He stood up to classmates who bullied others, helped tutor and was a likable leader in the classroom and on the sports field. On graduation day a citizenship award was given to the least likely student known to all as the class bully. After the ceremony many students and parents came over to us and said my son should have won that award. Honestly, my S felt more honored by the compliments than the thought of winning an award. BTW, bully’s mom was a close friends to dean who decided who was to received the award. Life goes on with or without the awards.</p>

<p>Muf is right. Although I understand your frustration 100%, maybe you should follow your daughter’s lead on this one.</p>

<p>Thanks to both of you because you are representing the competing parts of my brain.</p>

<p>Twogirls, the criteria are deliberately vague. It’s not top GPA, more that there’s a special quality that deserves recognition. Sometimes that quality meshes with academic performance, sometimes there’s little connection. Reference the girl in D’s class this year: nice, nice girl, great participant, great leadership, not very good understanding of literary texts. I would honor that girl but it’s not right to honor her for academic excellence and yes, that’s what this event is termed. </p>

<p>Muf, that’s my worry. I don’t want to sound like a jealous parent who lacks perspective and if it’s true that the awards are nothing more than popularity contests as D seems to feel, it’s silly to make a fuss over it. The sticking point for me is that this year, along with high GPA and glowing comments, D has concrete accomplishments and feedback that suggest true excellence in at least one subject area. The recognition she’s been given makes it extremely odd that there could be 5 other people who’ve exceeded her, at least from an academic standpoint. So even if I don’t question the awards per se, I’m even wondering if this school is the right fit and whether the fact that she’s undervalued will follow her into college admissions.</p>

<p>Kudos to your son. He sounds like a great kid and I hope his excellence is rewarded.</p>

<p>For whatever it’s worth… I think your D has it right and I’d let it go. I also want to complement your D for showing signs of growing-up and maturity. If you take a step back and look at the big picture, how your D is handling the disappointment is far more important than silly awards that don’t mean anything. Again, my 2cents.</p>

<p>3girls3cats – I am sorry your D (and you) are dealing with this and am truly impressed by your D’s ability to take it in exactly the right way. My D13 just went through this at the Senior Honors assembly where the Math award went to another girl who didn’t even complete the highest level math class which my D took as a junior, not to mention about 30 other seniors who took it this year. They specifically announce that it is for “achievement in math” but that is clearly not the most important criterion. My daughter was in tears afterwards because although she knew beforehand that this was likely to happen, IT STILL HURTS. But it is also life and life goes on…</p>

<p>3girls I REALLY feel for you- I know it can be frustrating. Just remember in the end it will work out. Kids who are well rounded top students will have the world at their fingertips regardless of any award won in high school. Does your daughter feel as though she is under valued at her school? During junior year guidance typically gives a " brag book" for parents to write all about their child’s accomplishments. This will be the basis for the GC’s letter of recommendation. Based on what you are saying I do not think that your daughter has anything to worry about. If your daughter is upset let her have a chat with guidance; if she is not then I would let it go. I understand that letting it go is hard, as I would feel the same way. I remember back in 1st grade there was an award that the kids were nominated for every month. They were honored for being a good citizen ie helping a kid tie his shoe, inviting him to sit with you, etc. My daughter never won this award. Later I learned that the award specifically went to those kids that did not do quite as well in school ( sounds crazy since this was only first grade) and needed a confidence boost. It sounds like your daughter is a super star!! Kids who are academic stars are well known in their class regardless of any awards that they did or did not win. She sounds like a great kid!</p>

<p>Thanks all! I’m already feeling better and starting to put things in perspective thanks to your feedback. This is absolutely my problem not D’s so I’ll try to be the grownup and grow up :).</p>

<p>STEMfamily, grrr. This is exactly what I’m upset about! It’s not just a matter of jealousy or sour grapes but an objective unfairness. I guess the flip side to that is that when it’s so clearly unfair, it’s also more easily dismissed as meaningless, at least eventually. I hope your D is able to look forward to all the exciting times ahead of her and get past the hurt. </p>

<p>In more positive news, my college senior just received an academic award for having the highest GPA in her major! This was completely unexpected and a lovely surprise.</p>

<p>It sounds like they have an award they give that is determined subjectively, and while I can understand your frustration at not having a clear cut rubric that explains the criteria for deciding the winner if that’s how you are wired to approach things, maybe it’s fine that it is what it is - an award given to a student in a subject that has strengths that aren’t so easily detected through grades alone. Grades are already a measure of a certain kind of achievement, and maybe instead of a redundant award that simply magnifies that achievement, this particular award serves a different purpose - to recognize a more holistic view of achievements. Or maybe there is an element of “most improved” or “most in need of recognition.” Either way - it sounds like your daughter is a great student with great grades and will have great letters of recommendation. I’m sure she’s fine with regards to college apps.</p>

<p>And she has a good start on keeping it in perspective and moving on - that must make you proud!</p>