<p>3girls-- sorry about your cat</p>
<p>Just chatted with my D about the PSAT.</p>
<p>She hasn’t studied and probably won’t. When I suggested studying, her response is “that is hilarious.”</p>
<p>I did a search and discovered that the much beloved ‘Methadone Thread’ is still alive . . . hint hint hint. ;)</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1331947-methadone-thread-22.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1331947-methadone-thread-22.html</a></p>
<p>Bunhead although I think your daughters scores were good, I understand where you and your daughter are coming from.</p>
<p>I do not watch DWTS although it seems as though everybody else does. I watch some other reality tv shows that I will not admit to just because they are way too embarrassing LOL. </p>
<p>We had Back to School Night tonight. It went very well and the teachers are all very nice. She loves her classes with the exception of AP physics. She finds it boring. It’s also a very difficult class, but I have access to an AP tutor if necessary. They have until November 1 to drop.</p>
<p>What AP physics does in half of a period is what Regents level physics spends two weeks on. There is nothing in between. Tonight she is studying for her 6 tests and deciding whether to drop AP physics. She won’t, but I told her to think about it and do what’s best for her. It’s going to be a long year.</p>
<p>Jmn I like your daughter’s attitude! Perhaps she would like to come to my house and share some of it!!</p>
<p>jmnva, she sounds like my oldest! I would love a dose of that in my youngest.</p>
<p>Wait… are you telling me that Bill Nye is on Dancing With the Stars??? I’ve never watched the show but I would start just to see Bill Nye!</p>
<p>I’m just flat out going to say it: BunHeadMom you were way out of line in your response to Mihcal1, who is one of the most helpful posters in this forum.</p>
<p>I went back and re-read Mihcal1’s reply. I don’t see anything wrong with it either.</p>
<p>On my D’s attitude-- it is the result of 16+ years of parenting and the messages we’ve sent her either explicitly or implicitly about the importance that standardized tests should play in her life.</p>
<p>I wish it was as clear as that here. Three girls, same parents, same message, three very different personalities. D1 was the free spirit who paid no attention to standardized testing, D2 was diligent but realistic, and then there’s D3, the perfectionist. Temperament trumped parental influence in this household.</p>
<p>BunHeadMom – I am sorry if my post came off offensive. All I meant to say was that it makes me sad when someone thinks their 95%ile score is horrible. Expecting oneself to always be the very best is a difficult burden for anyone to bear.</p>
<p>Mihcal what you just posted ^ made me a bit teary eyed because you are so right. The constant need for perfectionism ( my youngest) is terrible. My oldest is like Jmn’s kid- in my house it’s the exact same parenting with two different kids. My oldest is is simply an average kid (gasp), great in sports, social, and HAPPY!! She is pulling As and B+s in her college and I guarantee she will get into some grad school someplace ( required for her major in order to practice) despite being in a regular but great college. </p>
<p>When I went to sleep last night my daughter was having the AP physics versus regular physics dilemma. She is taking AP physics, AP Spanish, IB English, Honors US ( chose not to take AP because of the work load and lack of interest although she does enjoy this class), Honors pre-calc, and a college level child development class. With the exception of physics her classes are not difficult and given her perfectionist personality she will end up with A+s in all. This will most likely not be the case with physics as the teacher already told them that the class is hard, it is going to be like something they have never seen before, and last nights hw will be impossible ( he said that). He told us at back to school night that he wants them to stay in the class, and that he does everything he can to make them succeed. He is always available for extra help, he gives optional quarterly exams on a Regents/ regular level as a grade booster and will drop the lowest test, and gives the Regents as a final exam and it is worth 20% of their final grade. Many of these kids get a 100 on the physics Regents. He also gives lots of little mini projects etc to do that they can use as a grade booster if they want. So- even though it’s a very difficult class he really wants them to succeed and he truly feels that they will be proud of themselves if they continue. I also have a wonderful tutor if need be- an AP physics tutor from another local high school who will come whenever I want. I may have her come once a week and have my daughter get two friends and she can tutor them as a group weekly - the price would be very reasonable because they split it. If I use her for my daughter alone it will be pricey, but if she needs it sometimes I will just bite the bullet. Hopefully we will be done with the SAT tutors by mid December, with a touch up session needed ( once) if she re-takes. Or I can live in a box under a bridge someplace when I retire LOL! </p>
<p>So she will have to decide if she is dropping AP physics and replacing it with regular physics. If she stays with AP and gets a C ( which most likely won’t happen) she will still have an overall GPA that keeps her in the top 3% ( approximate). I am not worried about the grade because I really don’t care. I am more concerned that she finds the class boring and not enjoyable ( at least last night). I told her that she has until November 1 to drop and she will not be behind if she chooses to do so. She should think about it this weekend- make a list of pros and cons. </p>
<p>Last night she said that maybe she will just take regular physics ( fine with me) and go to our top state school ( again fine with me!). If she truly truly sticks to this way of thinking then I have made progress on the perfectionist/ intensity front… But I do not think she will stick with this attitude. I suspect she will stay with AP physics ( her decision) and spend the next 8 months working her tail off and spewing nasty words out of her mouth- but it’s her decision and I told her that I will support whatever she decides to do.</p>
<p>Thanks for listening.</p>
<p>I’ll chime in on impressions upon reading about test scores. When I see a range of test scores I would be thrilled D could attain being called “horrible” (in caps) it can feel, well, horrible. Indirectly, my child’s goal scores are deemed unworthy. Everyone has their range and D’s range isn’t the same as twogirls’ or BunheadMom’s daughters or others who are aiming very high. I’m fine with that but maybe not so sanguine about D’s range being called horrible.</p>
<p>However, I didn’t say anything at the time because that’s my issue, not BunheadMom’s or anyone else. I understood what she was trying to say. D has a friend who is aiming as high and when his mom and I talk colleges, she talks Brown, Columbia, etc and I talk CTCL schools. When she told me her son was disappointed with his SAT scores, which were 100 points higher than D’s, I knew what she was saying. Putting the scores into context, he should be disappointed and very worried while D is in a better position. He’s out of range for his schools while D Is merely in the middle 50 percentile of her schools.</p>
<p>I truly do appreciate this thread; I found that every child works hard for their achievements and every parent has their trials.</p>
<p>My older daughter got a decent score on her ACT and it got her into her college that she loves. Her score was under a 29 ( quite lower) but I was thrilled with it and so was she. My friend’s daughter got a 29 and when I commented on how that was a great score her response was " no it’s not, she needs to raise it." This kid was aiming for a reach school. Everything needs to be looked at in context. </p>
<p>I am realizing that even if my junior gets into a top school and I can pay for it, her personality may be too stressed by it. I would like to see her in a lower tier school and maintain her sanity.</p>
<p>Anyone else here a cross country runner? My dad used to stand on the side of cross country course, and yell out “run your own race!” As a teenager, I found it somewhere between cryptic, annoying, and embarrassing, but over time I think I’ve figured out what he meant. </p>
<p>I’m not a very good distance runner – decidedly mediocre, in fact. But I’ve come to terms with that, set my own goals (running a particular race EVERY year or trying not to slow down TOO much with age), and feel a sense of accomplishment when I reach them. My kids are much better runners than I am, but they’re still not at the front of the pack, even on their own team. They’ve learned to get their satisfaction from training hard and racing to beat their previous best, and they can take joy in seeing teammates or friends from other schools run even faster – because they know what it takes to get there. The best thing about running is that you can get beat and still have a great day, as long as you gave your best effort and PR’d. </p>
<p>This college application process is a long, hard run, and our kids all need to run their own races. For me, that means trying to counsel my kids to have more of an XC mindset than a CC mindset as they approach their coursework, standardized testing, and the apps. I’m blessed with really bright kids (they take after their mother), and their best can be really, really good, if they work at it. But we work hard at tuning out the other “runners” and focusing only on whether their training is going well and if they’ve put themselves in a position to “PR.” That’s all you can ask of them, and it is still quite demanding.</p>
<p>So, hereabouts, I’d suggest that we try to cheer for each other’s “runners,” celebrate when the training is going well, and share tips when the motivation isn’t quite there. Those of you with better runners may want to think about how the way you characterize their off days might resonate with others; those of you with less gifted runners need to bear in mind that everyone is trying to PR against his or her prior standard. </p>
<p>The good news (and I’m here to attest to this after sending one off to college in August) is that eventually, they ALL reach the finish line – only to discover there’s an even bigger trail ahead. </p>
<p>Thus endeth the sermon. Carry on. Run your own race.</p>
<p>A great analogy someoleguy- thanks for that perspective!</p>
<p>SomeOldGuy-
Thank you. That was beautiful…</p>
<p>By the way, the kid you sent off in August has exquisite taste in colleges - my alma mater - hopefully he/she is thriving.</p>
<p>Great post SomeOldGuy. </p>
<p>mihcal1, I understood what you were saying.</p>
<p>saintfan - thanks for the Methadone Thread link!</p>
<p>Sameold that was beautiful!</p>
<p>Sharing one of the funniest threads I’ve ever read. </p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/470497-clam-fart-oh-my-god-what-did-i-do.html?highlight=yale+typo[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/470497-clam-fart-oh-my-god-what-did-i-do.html?highlight=yale+typo</a></p>