<p>Oh how scary!! I understand how you want to be close by. I hope you are both fine over the next few days. Hugs!!</p>
<p>Wow I am so sorry to hear about this stressful event. Thankfully nobody was seriously hurt. I am not sure what I would do - hospital/ no hospital. I think that I would wait for her rehearsal to be over and take a ride over to the ER just to make yourself feel better. Once she gets clearance that all is well you can concentrate on the emotional piece. I do not blame you for staying nearby- I would do the same.</p>
<p>When my older daughter was a junior I was at work and my daughter told me that her friend was picking her up to go to a local store in town. A little while later she called me back to tell me that somebody hit her friend’s car ( also a left turn) and that they were fine but the car was a mess. It turns out that there were 3 girls in the car ( driver + 2 friends) and this kid was only permitted legally to have 2 in the car ( that’s another issue that I won’t go into). Well the mom told my daughter to lie in the event the police questioned her- she asked my daughter to say that she was not in the car. Needless to say I was furious and I told my daughter to tell the truth. If her friend’s mom chooses to disobey the law that is not my issue. I had no idea that 3 kids were going. My daughter figured it out but chose to ignore it rather than say something. This family also allowed this girl to drive after 9:00 with a junior license ( not permitted). </p>
<p>I would take her to the ER simply to put it past you - you will feel better . Would she be ok with that? You can also go to one of those " Doc in the box" type places that are in strip malls. Around here they are open until 7:00 on Sundays. </p>
<p>I hope she feels ok both physically and emotionally . Things will be OK.</p>
<p>So sorry to hear about the car accident, and happy to hear that no one was hurt.</p>
<p>Thanks guys. The paramedics/firemen that were on the scene looked at the girls and took their vitals and everything. D feels certain she didn’t hit her head or anything. I’m thinking that if she has issues with something hurting over the next couple days I would rather take her to her doctor if she needs to be seen. I really can’t imagine what the hospital could do without getting involved with X-rays etc that really don’t seem needed. I certainly don’t want to ignore anything but I think we will just keep an eye on her and avoid the hospital, and the stress of the hospital. She will just have to put up with me checking on her a lot over the next few days.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear it, shoboemom! Scary stuff. I’m glad the girls are OK. When something like that happens with one of my kids or their friends, once I’m over being scared about what might have been, I try to look back on it as a cheap lesson learned. The girls are OK and now they know how easy it is for an accident to happen - they may drive just a little more cautiously than kids who have never been in a wreck.</p>
<p>Shoboe that idea works- just keep an eye on her. If she is certain that she did not hit her head then she should be perfectly fine. I did not realize that the paramedics at the scene looked at her- that makes sense.</p>
<p>Ugh, shoemom I feel you. D was in a car that hit a deer recently and it scared the heck out of me. Glad no one was hurt!</p>
<p>Re: visits…we have some 3 day weekends and I am wondering about seeing reachy schools 6 or so hours’ drive away, or safety schools within 3 hours. The next one is in October and we can leave anytime after school Thursday and return Sunday night, so lots of things are possible. Further away schools will likely wait until summer.</p>
<p>I totally get the “love they safety” idea, and think looking at nearby schools that she can definitely attend is a good idea…but I also get the idea of inspiring her to work hard to get into reachier ones. I think one goal for now is to see if large/small, urban/rural is something we can begin to narrow down.</p>
<p>What are your families looking at doing with visits this year?</p>
<p>Shoboe, I’m very glad no one was hurt in the accident. I would have handled it the same way. If she feels ok and didn’t hit her head, just keep an eye on her and have her be aware of any changes.</p>
<p>OHMom we actually started last year because the timing was right- we were in the right place at the right time. We looked at large, small, urban, suburban, basically everything. She narrowed it down to " bigger than 5,000" and " not in a one horse town." </p>
<p>We will be heading south in February: Duke, Wake Forest, UVA, Richmond ( May be too small), Emory, Maryland- College Park. In April we will head to UDel and DC, and during the summer we will make a few re-visits: Lehigh and BU. </p>
<p>We have a school college fair coming up so maybe there will be a few new ones to add to the list, or maybe not. </p>
<p>We have about 17 on the list but I would like to narrow it down to about 13.</p>
<p>I was thinking of adding UConn- honors program to the list as well.</p>
<p>Ugh I have to stop saying " I am… " because it’s my daughter who is making these decisions and going to school. Not me LOL.</p>
<p>Shoboemom…Sorry to hear about the accident. Scary stuff…but fingers crossed that everyone came out of it pretty much unscathed. Kinda unnerving since we’re in the process of shopping for an additional car for the family since we now have 2 (and a third in waiting in the wings with S) young drivers. You’re dealing with one of my greatest fears…hopefully everything will remain okay.</p>
<p>twogirls…I know what you mean about watching the pronouns!! I try to always say “he” or “she” is looking at “fill in the blank” but I often catch myself saying “we” and the occasional “I” slips in there as well. I guess we’re all living vicariously through our kids. 
After touring some of these campuses and seeing all the buildings with Wi-Fi throughout, the meal plan choices and restaurants on-campus, the fitness facilities with beautiful swimming pools and rock climbing walls…it almost makes me want to go back to school myself. ALMOST…but not quite!!</p>
<p>shoboemom – Glad your D is unhurt. I don’t like going to the doctor, so I probably would do the same as you (knowing the paramedics had looked her over, just keep a close eye on things for a few days). Also, you can use this as a “teachable moment” and talk with your D about how rules are there for a reason (e.g., how many kids a new driver may have in the car). Maybe the two of you can brainstorm what she can say/do to prevent a situation like that from happening again.</p>
<p>OHMomof2 – Before you set your itinerary, you might check whether the various colleges have classes on those Mondays. If not, then students might go home or leave campus for the 3-day weekends. It’d be better to see schools when they’re “open for business.”</p>
<p>I was hoping to send my D2015 to visit her older sister for one of the 3-day weekends, but big sis has midterms right after so it’s probably not a good idea.</p>
<p>BunHeadMom – Thanks for the link to Lynn O’Shaughnessy blog. She covers a lot of topics. Other blogs I like a lot include [Educated</a> Quest](<a href=“http://www.educatedquest.com/category/blog/]Educated”>Blog Archives - Educated Quest), Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz’s [adMISSION</a> POSSIBLE](<a href=“http://blog.admissionpossible.com/]adMISSION”>http://blog.admissionpossible.com/) which appears in the HuffingtonPost, and the Chronicle of Higher Education’s [Head</a> Count](<a href=“http://chronicle.com/blogs/headcount/]Head”>Head Count). Of course, my very favorite college blog is written by a CC alumna: [THE</a> NEUROTIC PARENT](<a href=“http://neuroticparent.typepad.com/collegetour/]THE”>THE NEUROTIC PARENT™).</p>
<p>Checking in, after some time away. Sandwich Generation stuff has kept me busy in 2013. However, I’ve read along as time has permitted & I appreciate all the perspectives, links & supportive discussion on this thread.</p>
<p>Shoeboe, glad to hear your DD is OK. </p>
<p>A few things on topics recently discussed: DS is taking the SAT Oct 5 & the PSAT Oct 16. He has had limited tutoring, mostly to help w/his test anxiety. Tutor is very reputable, but we paid in-advance for a small discount. Will not be doing that again, for sure. The guy has our money & has us over a barrel regarding when he’s available. Given DS’s schedule, it has been challenging to schedule sessions. Plus the guy is not very personable, albeit a genius, so DS isn’t really getting too much out of tutoring overall. Depending upon how he does in Oct, DS will probably take the SAT again at some point - perhaps as late as June 2014. Not sure about that yet. Also have to figure out ACT timing, but DS will not take it before Feb so he can “switch gears” after SAT study. He has taken both previously for talent searches and the ACT is probably better suited to him.</p>
<p>Many college reps have visited the HS, and DS was interested in meeting w/several of them, but the appointments conflict w/class time. So he met w/just one last week, and was the only student at the HS to make an appointment w/this college! The rep met w/DS alone for about 30 minutes and he enjoyed the conversation. He does not want to leave the Midwest, and there are many colleges we will not be able to afford, so that narrows the list quite a bit. I have no idea if the HS has a limit on meetings w/reps. College counseling is minimal there. They direct most students IS & call it a day. And, with the economy, I must say that many of our very top students have been staying IS for the past few years. </p>
<p>I’m helping DS w/college search along the lines of what PN posted (excellent post - thanks). He would probably do well taking a gap year, so he’ll be looking at schools open to that. Plus, he hates the cold so I guess St. Olaf is off the list. Gosh, it would be the perfect school for him, other than the weather - though most likely out of our price range and a bit too far for his liking. It will be his school, not mine, which I have to keep reminding myself!</p>
<p>Finally, on the topic of age, DS is a very (very) late Spring BD and he is the 4th youngest boy in his HS class. Cut-off is Aug 30. There are at least 20-30 boys who are a full year older than DS in his grade, and at least the same number who are his age - but in 10th grade - at his HS. DS enjoys sports, wants to play for his (very large) HS, but the age & size difference limit his options significantly. When we moved to this district, right before DS went to K, neighbors asked why he was going to school “so young.” With an Aug 30 cut-off, we didn’t consider him to be <em>young</em> and off he went. Not a day goes by that I wish we couldn’t un-ring that bell, for so many social & emotional reasons (aside from sports), but it is what it is. With our younger kids, we have taken a different approach.</p>
<p>Thanks to everyone for the informative posts and best wishes to those DCs taking the SAT this week, and the PSAT in the next few weeks.</p>
<p>Thanks for the input. In this case the day off is for HS-specific things (teacher conferences and so forth), the colleges would not have a reason to not have classes, I’ll definitely double check though.</p>
<p>The Neurotic Parent book has been in a drawer since S’12 decided on a college…I will get it out again next year, because it is HYSTERICAL.</p>
<p>Good to see you GoAskDad! Sounds like things are going well there. Would your S be interested in Denison? I have tried to get my D interested (I think they are fairly generous with merit aid) but it’s way too small for her - smaller than her high school. Kind of a bummer that she rules out small schools, but I understand. Good luck to your S on Saturday. D is taking the SAT that day also.</p>
<p>Shoeboe, glad your D is OK. That really is some scary stuff for everyone. I’d just keep an eye on her as well. D was out last night with a bunch of friends and they went out to get some food. One boy had 4 passengers in his car, but D wouldn’t budge on the rule that she (as a 16-year old) can only have one other non-relative in the car. Predictably, they boy got pulled over and got a ticket and the parents of all of the kids in the car were called. I was proud of her for doing the right thing.</p>
<p>^^^ IMO, at least part of the blame should fall on the parents for allowing their kids to break the rules about number of passengers. Those laws exist to keep kids safe. When my D plans to go out with friends, I always ask about transportation. If she cannot give me a satisfactory answer about who’s going in which car, then she’s stuck with M-O-M (Mean Ol’ Mom) as chaperone. We’ve had some tragic accidents in our community in recent years, so pretty much all the parents are on-board with enforcement.</p>
<p>I think our car accident story from today got a bit mixed up with another anecdote someone shared about their kiddo. It´s so easy to blur the stories together here! My D was the only passenger in the car today, with her friend driving.<br>
The good news is that the car did it´s job and took the brunt of the collision, so the occupants didn´t have any major injuries. We had just recently bought a new car (not the one being driven today…but it was pretty new also)…and this made me feel more confident in my choice to buy the new car…good crash test results, extra safety features, etc. </p>
<p>Twogirls, when you mentioned getting recommendations for college, and the talk is of college visits, it made me start to realize that when we visit colleges now, it is ´for real´. Last year when I´d want to visit schools, D felt like it was too early. Over the summer it was OK because we were traveling anyway, but now it suddenly seems like we should be really starting to focus in on a few schools and seriously finding that list of good possibilities!</p>
<p>Unfortunately parents allow their kids to " bend the rules" because they are driving close to home so they feel it does not matter. This practice is unsafe and illegal!! Parents also sign that their kid has enough night time driving hours even though that is not the case- very stupid. </p>
<p>I am such a rule follower that it surprises me to see parents who are not. When my older one took drivers ed there was one kid who drove himself back and forth with a permit- no adult in the car. He also drove his friends. The mother saw nothing wrong with this- she is my neighbor. Needless to say my daughter knew that she was not allowed to drive with him. This is also one of the reasons why I like it when my daughter is the driver.</p>
<p>Shoboe it was my daughter who was driving with her friend junior year ( 2 in the car ) when they stopped to pick up their friend. Three made it illegal for her friend to be driving with a junior license. My daughter had her senior license at the time so she did not realize- she automatically got her senior license and was unaware of the passenger rule for junior license ( or if not unaware, she was not thinking)… She knew about the no driving after 9 rule. I was very annoyed that her friend’s mother knowingly allowed this. I never allowed my daughter to drive at night with her friend because I knew they would be out after 9. </p>
<p>Thankfully she will be 20 soon and is mature. </p>
<p>Yes these visits are for real now! Last year my daughter was not thrilled but we went anyway.</p>