<p>Wrights so sorry to hear about your son. I know you will get him some help. My daughter had therapy last year and also at the age of 8 when she appeared depressed due to a tragedy in our community. Therapy really helped her.</p>
<p>About the graded tests that aren’t allowed to be taken home, my S is allowed to take a picture of the top portion of the test page showing name, date and grade for his records.
Gosh, sorry to hear that Wrights. I once asked the football coach to check in with my S and give him a pep talk when he was very stressed.</p>
<p>Good luck to the test takers today!!</p>
<p>@wrights1994, so sorry to hear about your son. I knew a kid who is going through this. He was a great student and a great kid until 10th-11th grade - I mean he might still be a great kid, just his grades start to go down, and he hurt himself and depressed and so on. I guess it’s not uncommon. Hope you find good help. Hormone development played a crucial part in that kid’s case. That must be true to a lot of teen problems.</p>
<p>@wrights- D was is a similar situation in the 8th grade. A friend gave her a note threatening to harm herself. We decided to take the note to the school counselor to help the young girl. We could not live with the “what if” we didn’t do anything. The young lady and mother didn’t talk to us for years because we turned the letter into the school. The most important thing to us was the safety of the child. </p>
<p>3 years later the young lady is doing well. She had a very hard 8th and 9th grade years but I’ve watched her change. She seems to be happy now, better able to handle stress, and to talk to her counselor when she has problems. I believe she also had a hormonal or chemical imbalance that also was part of the picture. D and her friend are friendly again. I just want you to know that there is hope. Be sad now but help your child fight and get the help that he needs. I wish you and your family the best.</p>
<p>Sending postitive vibes to my D and other PSAT test takers this morning.</p>
<p>@Wright–Your description of your son is similar to my D’s before her world crashed. She was a straight A student, very strong in her EC, very driven, and a perfectionist.<br>
My D went through a horrific period beginning the end of freshman year due to death of grandparents and the loss of our home due to a tornado in a 8 month period. She sat out 10th grade and was placed into in-patient treatment for several months. She pretty much is back to her old self now, and a lot happier. Get your son the help he needs as soon as possible, because with the right intervention he too, will overcome this dark period in his life.</p>
<p>At D’s school, all parent/faculty contact goes through her adademic advisor. I meet the faculty @ Back-to-School Night and perhaps again in the Spring.</p>
<p>Contact with her Academic Advisor is monthly, unless there is something good or bad to report. There’s a bit more contact this year as Junior year @ D’s school is very challanging - PSAT/PLAN (required for all juniors), SAT/ACT (D will take the ACT in December), SAT II’s, junior year writing challange (a school creative writing program), Junior Thesis (a 10 page +/- collegiate term paper due in February (with intermediate milestone dates perhaps monthly) so the students actually know how to write a paper when the matriculate into their respective colleges)</p>
<p>BunHeadMom, I’m really sorry your D (and you) had to go through that. I’m sure it was scary and am so glad that she is back to her old self. Stories like this really put things in perspective.</p>
<p>Good Luck to all our children currently in the midst of the PSAT this morning.</p>
<p>@all the MN folks, I successfully scored 7 Jingle Ball tickets- I think my girlfriend and I are more excited than BunHeadGirl and the 4 girls going with us. I just checked and BHG takes the SAT the Saturday before the concert. My girlfriend’s daughter gave her a fantastic eye-roll when I informed the daughter about the SEVEN tickets and that we all would have a blast–LOL. I was nice enough to get 2 of the tickets in the same section, but a few rolls behind the girls. </p>
<p>I’m currently working on the ol’ possible college application spreadsheet by adding in percentages for RD, EA and ED acceptance rates for each school on BunHeadGirl’s list–that is going to be a lot of essay writing before 11/15/2014, and I think she may burn out on submitting applications before EA deadlines. But, for many of the schools, applying EA increases BHG’s acceptance rate by 10-30% above the RD rates at the majority of schools, resulting with possible acceptance rates of 40% to 95% based on current stats. Shockingly, a few schools have lower EA/ED acceptance rates than RD or acceptance rates that only increase by 1-4% higher than the RD rate of acceptance. BHG will have to make the decision on how many schools to apply to EA when the time arrives.</p>
<p>I also sorted the spreadsheet by a field that lists the COA after any merit aid based on NPCs and current stats. That field will change each semester, and until the last award letter hits our mailbox and inbox, but also will serve as an “in our face” reminder of our costs. </p>
<p>My plan is for BHG to file EA applications to schools with the highest EA acceptance rates over RD during the EA round, and then file the remaining applications for the RD round as a means to reduce some of the application stress. Oh, and of course BHG will submit applications to any public schools as soon as the apps go live since only one accepts essays.</p>
<p>I feel for you, Wrights! I hope your son is open to getting some help and that you all can find a new normal. I am dealing with significant mental health issues with my 8th grader that are turning our world upside down. Developing new expectations for the future is very hard. Hugs!</p>
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<p>It is okay, that period in BHG’s life is what made her the more mature young woman I have now. She still has her periods of beating herself up–like her SAT scores being “horrible”. But what she experienced at such a young age gives her a different perspective on life, on school, and on the whole college search process. </p>
<p>Two and a half years ago, BHG would settle for nothing but Wellesley, Bryn Mawr, Mount Holyoke, Vassar, Grinnell, Oberlin or Hamilton Colleges along with a shot at Brown or Cornell. She was making the grades and if the 2 semesters from hell did not take place, BHG probably would still have all those schools on her list. She is not angry and is at peace. </p>
<p>She understands her GPA moved her into a different circle of safeties, matches, and reaches, but did not stop her from finding another group of schools where she can thrive and where she can envision herself having a wonderful college experience. She still plans to apply to a couple of schools from the above list, but as super HMFRs schools, just to say she tried. My job as research and administrative assistant is never ending, but I will go to the ends of the earth to locate every school that meets the majority of BHG’s requirements, where she has a very good chance of acceptance, and completion of school. </p>
<p>Her GC stated with an addendum from her explaining the 3 semesters sandwiched between 5 semesters of almost straight A’s may tip many schools into accepting BHG. Also, her GC stated that most adults would crash under so many emotional events in such a short period of time, let a lone a teenager, a mere child. And, with BHG’s huge upswing in GPA, it will show schools that she has perseverance and fortitude to overcome any situation no matter how long it may take. It shows she’s a fighter. The kid is just so caring and humbling and always out to save the underdog in the fight for equality, it just seeps from her very being, not to mention that she has a aura that makes everyone happy when she is around. </p>
<p>The journey of the past couple of years also taught me to love the kid on the couch no matter what, because what if the child no longer occupies the couch or any other place on this earth for me to love. My ex-DH and I dream the dreams that BHG dreams and will help within reason to make her dreams reality if it means helping with a private business loan, or paying full freight tuition at a low ranked OOS public LAC, gasp! </p>
<p>No matter what, just love the kid on your couch unconditionally, no matter the roads that your child(ren) may take you down as they each navigate their own paths to adulthood and beyond.</p>
<p>BHG congrats to you for seeing what is important. Glad your daughter is doing so well now.</p>
<p>BHM – if her grades were effected in Freshman year she may be in a better place than you’re giving her credit for. Not that it isn’t good to manage expectations, but this is PRECISELY what holistic evaluation is all about. </p>
<p>I interview for my alma mater (one of the schools you listed) and we are explicitly told to ask about any special circumstances that may not appear obvious from the transcript. A transitional depressive period for which she was treated and has now recovered fits that bill nicely.</p>
<p>Bunheadmom- wise words and beautifully put!</p>
<p>Wrights, hugs to you and to your son. I know this must be painful for both of you but the future is still bright. Thank goodness you have the chance to sort out what’s most important and to give him the love, support, and help he needs. </p>
<p>BunHeadMom, I remember when you first posted here about the struggles your family had been through and how affected your D had been. It is truly wonderful to see how your D has come out the other side and I hope it is helpful to Wrights to read that things can and do get better.</p>
<p>In fact, it’s a good reminder to all of us.</p>
<p>No matter what, just love the kid on your couch unconditionally, no matter the roads that your child(ren) may take you down as they each navigate their own paths to adulthood and beyond.</p>
<p>I don’t know know to quote that you said this…BunHeadMom. But you made me cry. I love this kid so much… will he ever get that? I just want him to be happy and I don’t care where that is. This is so hard.</p>
<p>wrights1994 - many hugs coming your way. Hang in there.</p>
<p>I’ve always said that our primary job is to get the kid to adulthood in one piece. Everything else is gravy. Some days that’s harder than you thought it would be.</p>
<p>May tomorrow (and all subsequent tomorrows) be easier.</p>
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<p>wrights, I second this advice. It helped me tremendously when I went through a difficult period in my teens. In my case a year of once a week meetings with a friendly and sympathetic therapist made all the difference to me.</p>
<p>Please keep us updated if you can.</p>
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<p>It’s been said elsewhere on this forum that part of the reason EA admit rates are higher is because athletes and development admits are done in the EA round…so for a student who isn’t one of those, it may make no difference. ED means a lot at some schools that want to keep or raise yield numbers but you can only do one of those.</p>
<p>BHM, thanks for sharing your story, what a tough road that must have been for all of you and how wonderful to have come out the other side so well.</p>
<p>@wrights, HUGS!!! I know how it feels. A close friend of mine is living the same nightmare with her son. Hope you all get through this.
Yes getting them to adulthood and not wreck the boats sometimes is not easy.
The lesson I learned is to pay attention to their peer influnences.
My friend’s son and another friend’s daughter were said to get on “tumblr” and found very bad peers there. That seemed to be a factor for their bad turn in lives. Sounds pretty scary. </p>
<p>Good luck to PSAT takers today! Hope to hear good news from our group of kids in December!</p>
<p>For those of you testing Saturday, S reports that the PSAT math is much different (harder) than on the official practice tests he took(2013 and 2011.) He thinks he did fine, as math is his strong suit, but had to expend more mental energy on it than he expected. Said the practice tests are misleading.</p>
<p>Wrights, I’ve been there. I’m with you. Hope you make it through the rough patch as well as your son. The whole family suffers when one member is having such trouble. But parents can’t fall apart, have to stay stable and strong for the kids, on the outside, at least. Life can be so hard.</p>
<p>wrights - so sorry about your son. Hope you can find him the help he needs. Stay strong… </p>
<p>D also reports that today’s test was harder than the practice exams. For her, math was “ok”, but CR/vocab was harder. </p>
<p>Now the waiting game starts.</p>