Parents of the HS Class of 2015

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
6461

<p>PS: I asked D what she thought about the Greek thing. My college didn’t have it at all so I don’t really have any experience with it.</p>

<p>She said she’d consider it but isn’t very interested. I was thinking maybe she’s not into the idea for partying reasons, or social exclusion, or hazing but no…she told me a joke to explain her reservations: “How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 5: 2 to plan it, 1 to do it and 2 to make the t-shirt”. </p>

<p>I think she’s worried it means taking on a lot of extra work/activities :D</p>

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<p>SUNY Bing is very generous with IB credits. If you get the IB diploma you can get accepted as a sophomore.</p>

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<p>My d13 joined a sorority and there are a lot of activities. But she loves it. The Greek community at her school has a cumulative GPA about .3 higher than the general student population. The first round of rush was “scholarship” parties and they talked about how they support the student and reveal their house GPA. My dd joined the house with the highest GPA. That was appealing to her.</p>

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<p>For sure, my DD2011 is graduating a year and a half early from SUNY Bing because of IB diploma (plus a summer and winter session course). She has already decided we will put that money toward her Masters. :-)</p>

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<p>When touring a place that I am hopeful D will like, I’d make sure the weather will be nice (NO Florida schools in the summer, that sort of thing). Then also make sure not to take any detours that make the trip there seem even longer or more unpleasant than it already may be, and be sure to see and point out the other things the immediate area might have (Look, there is a Chipotles right here!). During the tour, I’d try to call attention to some things that might otherwise be overlooked, and don’t say anything negative (of course if there are true negatives and the school should be off the list…I’d sure mention those!..just nothing like “Ooh ugly school colors” lol) . I also takes lots of pictures, especially of the department she’d be most interested in, as we typically fly through the hallways, that way we can point things out later. So far, as far as I can tell, I’ve been the only one taking pics during these tours. That surprises me. I can imagine later saying "did you notice they had the ____, and then showing her. It also just much easier to remember what school had what. When we did a fall tour of schools, each time we got to a new school I took a picture of the name of the school before we got there…usually from something I had printed out for the trip. That helped me keep the pics separated. I also took a few notes on my phone…people may have thought I was texting, but it was helpful to remember a few key things.</p>

6466

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<p>I am not sure I’d be brave enough to do this…maybe depends on the situation…not sure what on Earth I’d be afraid they’d do…blacklist us? lol But this is smart!</p>

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<p>I guess I was over thinking when we switched tour guides at Georgetown. Tour was not so good and S judged the school as such. A real bummer because I thought it would be a good match. Oh well.</p>

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<p>I am beginning to see a benefit ( I think) to an honors program. My older daughter is trying to get a schedule for next semester and keeps getting closed out of gen ed classes. She is on the verge of flipping out ( it’s that tight rope that I walk again LOL). I hope she gets classes in her major- we will see tomorrow when she officially registers. She is not in the honors program. </p>

<p>We took a tour of Northeastern last spring that completely turned my D off from the school. Too bad because it’s a great school with a lot to offer. The tour had about 100 people just in our group and we could not hear anything. It got to the point where my daughter stayed at the back of the line and did not even try to hear. When we left she said she is not attending the school.</p>

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<p>We made the mistake of doing a visit to U Chicago over 4th of July weekend (seemed like a good idea at the time). The visit was way overbooked. The only insight I gathered was that it would be just as expensive and frustrating to be a poor student in Chicago as it was for me in NYC. We didn’t see any interiors other than the chapel where the sound was poor and it was difficult to hear the student panel.</p>

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<p>When D and I visited Penn with her best friend and his mother (they wanted to check out the school; out of D’s range and I would never suggest it for her anyway), it was a last minute decision so we didn’t sign up for a tour. Instead we crashed one. We had to bail when they started checking for wrist bands but we got to see the library/cafe (free food during finals week?!) and a dining hall.</p>

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<p>When we went to BU ( spring break) it was packed. A family came in who did not have a reservation and the woman at the desk told them to just tag along on another tour. </p>

<p>My husband seems to think that Ohio State is too big for our daughter. He may be right…</p>

6472

<p>Today’s weather wasn’t quite the way or day to end the Fall softball season over in Lehigh County, PA. A bit brisk with quite a refreshing breeze to liven things up. </p>

<p>The college showcase was great - well attended by many coaches looking to finalize their incoming Fall of 2014 classes with the larger D1 schools looking at sophomores & juniors.</p>

<p>8 am games ( warm ups @ 7am) with a 1:20 ride make for very committed players, especially in November when there is frost in the outfield atbthatbtime of the morning.</p>

<p>We just came how, DD jumped into a hot shower, has on her flannel pj’s & socks & is sipping hit cocoa while doing her schoolwork.</p>

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<p>We jumped in on a tour at Columbia last summer. S was embarrassed that we were unscheduled drop ins. Good thing they didn’t have wrist bands.</p>

<p>@threesdad, Hockey mom here. I know the feeling all to well after those early wake ups and long day games. Comfort food and flannels end the day well.</p>

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<p>My D1 (HS2012) attends a humongous state school, and she has had no problem getting to know her profs. But you have to take initiative to reach out to the profs, and not wait for them to reach out to you. The trick is to go to office hours early and often. The first few weeks of each semester hardly anyone goes to office hours and the profs are happy to talk to whoever shows up. But if you wait till the end of the semester there’s huge crush of kids trying to make up for having gotten behind and/or done poorly on midterms, and the profs are too busy to just shoot the breeze. </p>

<p>Her very first semester, my D1 took introductory chemistry with in a huge lecture hall with ~400 kids. The third week of the semester, she raised her hand to ask a question – and the prof called on her by name. He knew her because she had already gone to office hours twice. Later on, that same prof emailed my D1 and offered her a parttime job. My D1 is also on firstname basis with her intro CS prof, and that class had ~1000 students. And it’s not because my D1 is a super-exceptional student (she’s good, but not tip-top), nor because she’s super-outgoing (she’s actually pretty shy). It’s because she likes go to office hours and is willing to speak up in class. Even at the biggest universities, the profs do get to know the kids who take the initiative to introduce themselves.</p>

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<p>Thanks mih. She does take the initiative- glad to hear this can be done in a bigger school.</p>

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<p>Thanks for all the suggestions about visiting. My instinct was to treat our Fordham visit like any other school visit, which seems to have worked. D’s overall response was “I liked it more than I thought I would”, so mission accomplished!</p>

<p>And this was in spite of a boring general information session (I read somewhere that the Univ. President usually gives a great talk at the Junior preview, but he was out of town) and a tour that ran 75 minutes–D thought that was too long. She did like the campus and the fact that while it’s beautifully landscaped with Gothic buildings and a lot of open space, it’s also very accessible to NYC. (twogirls, Rose Hill is the Bronx campus) She was impressed by student presentations about research opportunities and the fact that she heard talks from or chatted with students from all over including Chicago, Boston and Texas. </p>

<p>One of the luckiest things was that as we were leaving, we ran into a girl from the class of 2013 at D’s HS; she was a captain in the Speech/Debate team and leader of the orchestra when D started out in them as a freshman. She was really excited to see D and after they exchanged hugs she said “I really love it here, I hope you can come here!!”</p>

<p>About choosing tour guides according to matching personalities/majors/areas of interest, no, there was no opportunity at all to choose one’s guide. It was completely random depending on when we arrived at the meeting area for tours. As soon as there were 10 or 12 gathered, 2 guides were assigned and off we went. </p>

<p>I have to say that after 7 college tours we have yet to find a school where the tour guide assignments weren’t random. It will be refreshing to be on a tour where there’s actually some attention given to match of interests! </p>

<p>CT1417, we must have come in on a different highway–I think I know the urban approach you took but ours was along the Bronx River Parkway and when we got off onto Pelham Pkwy we saw the Zoo and Botanical Gardens. I agree that the surrounding areas can be off-putting but OTOH they look much better than they did when I first saw the area back in 1986 when the Bronx was only just starting to recover from the urban blight of the 60s and 70s. </p>

<p>Parents on the tour asked lots of questions about safety and the surrounding areas and the tour guides gave details about their experiences and about security measures that seemed to satisfy everyone. Funny story: they pointed out the campus blue light system and said it had only been used twice, once by a skateboarder who fell and broke his ankle right by one of the lights, and once by a student who was so distraught over a breakup with a boyfriend that she pushed the emergency button.</p>

<p>Now I need to try not to be a salesperson and also find my file with the notes we took after each college visit–what we’ve been doing is writing down the pros & cons when it’s done and we get in the car.</p>

6477

<p>WoW, 30 pages since I last read the thread! </p>

<p>For BHG, we’re only looking at privates, except for her safeties. This is our 2nd go around. My son went for the money–$30, 500 in merit aid to St. Olaf, here in MN. We made the mistake of allowing him to apply to all top 20 CSS Profile schools that do NOT have merit aid, or only token amounts less than $5k per year. Our hh combined income proved deadly regarding need based aid, and NPC’s did not exist in 2009. </p>

<p>BHG does not have our son’s stats, but we saved enough that we can pay costs out of savings and current earnings. We also live frugally by choice. Both houses paid off (ex-H and me), paid off vehicles and low credit balances. </p>

<p>BUT, ex-H set a limit, and there are no Rolls Royce schools on BHG’s list, for example, Sarah Lawrence College has a COA of $64, 748. I’m not even going to entertain BHG with the notion her father would pay $65K for her undergrad when she can gain a similar experience at Evergreen State College for 1/2 the price and one He’d happily pay, or Beloit College’s COA is a total of $50, 400 for EVERYTHING and is within 3-4 hour driving distance. </p>

<p>Ex-H capped the COA (tuition, fees & R/B), and any CSS Profile school BHG wishes to apply to must be under that cap so there is no possibility of a gap. Any gap after need based aid and what we’re willing to pay, BHG must explain how she’ll make up the difference via wages and Federal Direct Loans. She knows that just because we could pay ful-freight, there is no way in h3ll that we will do so. If that does not cover the “gap”, she cannot apply–why waste money on the application & submission of scores. We go through every school’s NPC with her and discuss costs so she gets the full picture of what it will cost us to send her to a good college. Her father told her that just because the NPC’s state we can afford $X, he is NOT paying that amount when there are other less expensive options, especially since BHG plans to attend grad school. We must use her 529 frugally.</p>

<p>Her list reflects this. </p>

<p>Her financial safety schools include our in-state LAC (UM-Morris–nationally recognized public LAC), U of Winnipeg(my state has reciprocity), Goucher, Knox, and Evergreen State College (ESC is similar to Hampshire, Marlboro, Bennington & Sarah Lawrence colleges). BHG has a minimum of 80-90% chance of getting into these schools. UM-Morris is 100%. We know BHG’s going to college–grin.</p>

<p>BHG MUST cast a very wide net as she’s lopsided with test scores and GPA, and will apply to 14 schools. BHG already have a tentative match and reach list, but like Celeste mentioned, BHG, needs to review the coarse catalogs to make sure the classes appeal to her, and that there are at least 3 majors interest to reduce the need to transfer later on if she wants a major not offered at the school, but is at one passed over. </p>

<p>BHG’s list did not change much, just greatly reduced down to 14 schools. Which means. she is most likely done with the search. She also needs to visit 5 of the schools, which we’ll do over a couple of long weekends and during spring break.</p>

<p>Tuition, fees, room and board must be below my ex-H’s CAP ( we do not include books, personal expenses or travel in this figure as my mother will pay these costs thru me just as she did for my son). Since I am divorced, BHG will apply to a number of FAFSA only schools, as she will qualify for need aid based on my income, as my ex-h’s income and assets are not taken into consideration at the majority of FAFSA only schools–most do not require any type of non-custodial income/asset documentation since we do not live together.</p>

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<p>BHM it sounds like you really know what you are doing!! In NY we have the SUNY system and the top SUNY schools are Binghamton and Geneseo. Buffalo and Stony Brook are also good schools ( I was told they want to make SB into a land grant Ivy? Kind of like Cornell??). We visited Geneseo and although it is a lovely school with a cute town, my daughter did not like it. She liked Binghamton and would go, but is not overly excited- but said she would go and it would be perfectly fine. She saw Buffalo with my older kid so we won’t be going back to visit- she would go there as well, but not her first choice by any means. Stony Brook is a great school but she does not want to be on Long Island. </p>

<p>The two SUNY schools would be Bing and UB. Last night my husband and I were talking and we both were in agreement that our kid is not a good match for Bing and we really don’t want her going if at all possible ( it’s a GREAT school BTW) which matches her " eh I will go if I have to" mentality. It kind of looked like every kid there belongs at her current high school. My friends D goes there ( loves it), and we have 4 family members there ( two current, two just graduated) and they all love it. It’s a great school, amazing academics, lots of new construction being built etc. It’s not exactly in a rural place- right off a main strip with a bunch of restaurants- but there is just something about it that is not exactly right for my kid- and we all feel it. I feel like my D needs " more" than what Bing has- although in all fairness the school most likely has it if we inquired. There is an honors program requiring basically Ivy League stats to get into it, and I am sure there are plenty of research opportunities and they have that great early assurance med school program. The school also offers amazing study abroad programs- so if she went to Bing I think she would eventually find her niche and it would work. We are definitely re- visiting. </p>

<p>UB is diverse, unlike Bing. Near a city, lots of research opportunities going on. She would be in the honors program and live in honors housing away from where most freshmen live. I actually feel it’s a much better fit than Bing. </p>

<p>We do not qualify for any FA at all except maybe at HYP where we fall very close to the top of their cut off for need based aid. I told her she can apply to Princeton and IF she gets in ( that’s a big IF as nobody gets in) and IF they give us a reasonable offer, we will talk. She would love to go to Cornell, but their FA package would consist of loans which means that we would probably have about $80,000 in loans over 4 years ( for the non NYS part) and slightly less for the NYS land grant. Too much money given med or grad school. </p>

<p>As I mentioned, she will be like BHG and will be going for the merit. She does not need full rides ( although that would be amazing). She only needs enough to bring it down to what we can afford. Our list consists only of schools that provide merit. </p>

<p>We are almost done with our mortgage ( 2 years) and do not drive expensive cars. My H has a company car which helps, and they pay all the gas. They just started paying him for the health insurance that he does not use ( we have mine) so that is a nice chunk of change. We do not take vacations other than driving places relatively close and using points for hotels. My D2015 has never been on an airplane. We eat out ( just the two of us as D15 won’t go out and D12 is at school) twice a week at pizza place type restaurants. We bring lunch to work every day. My older D likes to shop and thankfully has her own money. I get her what she needs, but I don’t buy her things endlessly. My D15 hates shopping and is not one to walk the malls. I have curbed my shopping over the years and buy what I need only. </p>

<p>I am hoping that we choose wisely and the process works. I am optimistic that it will…we shall see. Happy Monday!!</p>

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<p>I hope the right coaches spotted your D. :slight_smile: The flannel PJs and Hot chocolate sounds so cozy…made me smile. Not much better than that after being out in chilly weather…(which we do get, even here in Florida).</p>

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<p>We finished the travel softball season too! Give softball girls legs a chance to heal from all the bruises. I swear when she wears skirts she looks like a little girl with bruised up knees!</p>

<p>Her team is participating in a college event at Emory next weekend. I tried to talk her out of it, but she wanted to go with the " team". Last thing I need is her falling in love with Emory. I joked with her coach that I would be sending him the tuition bill if that was the case.</p>