Parents of the HS Class of 2015

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
6801

<p>Dreading, dreading, dreading the SAT scores and the projected meltdown. D had done really well on everything but the essay in practice but came out of the real thing feeling very rattled, especially by the reading, usually her strongest section. The likelihood is that she did not do especially well, though probably better than she thinks. She has no perspective on this and thinks that she is “supposed” to get “100” on the “test.” I keep telling her it’s not like a school test and that even one wrong answer can seriously suppress the score. She gets it but she doesn’t. I also keep telling her that if her score is “good enough” I really want her to be done with this and to focus on more worthwhile things.</p>

<p>If she comes out of this with equanimity, I will be happier than if she got a 2400.</p>

<p>Neither of those outcomes is likely.</p>

6802

<p>Good luck to those expecting scores tomorrow! Hope everyone reports back happy news tomorrow. :)</p>

<p>D’s first SAT is not until Jan… or even later if she’s not ready.</p>

6803

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<p>It never ceases to amaze me how we can tell these intelligent young adults multiple times that they don’t need to be perfect, or always get the top score, or be in the top X%…and we get the eye-rolls and the “I know Dad…I know” in response. </p>

<p>Then…and stop me if you’ve heard/seen this before…comes the inevitable meltdown when it’s “only” an A- or (gasp) a B+ or an XX composite or a YYYY M+CR score. I know our kids have gotten tired of the speech where we tell them how proud we are of them and that they’re awesome…but there’s ALWAYS going to be someone who gets a better grade/scores higher on a test/ranks higher/runs faster/makes more money/etc. etc. It’s a fact of life…get used to it.</p>

<p>I’d love to think we’ve given that speech for the last time and that we’ve seen the last of the meltdowns, but since we’re not dead yet…standing by for the next “I know Dad”. :)</p>

<p>ETA: If I knew what equanimity meant, I could’ve scored higher on the SAT…and gotten into that “elite” school…and made a ton of money…and here comes my meltdown!!</p>

6804

<p>3girls, I had to look up ‘equanimity’. Is that an SAT word? :wink: I hope that you are pleasantly surprised with your D’s scores. </p>

<p>This group is so great about helping to keep me on the right path in my thinking. I want to be calm and not stress over the details, and I need to be careful not to see everything from within the CC bubble (where the only ‘good’ score is a 2400, etc). I start to relax, with all my new insights and then, off I go again, worrying that normal, imperfection may somehow equal not good enough.</p>

6805

<p>Fit, vibe, cost, fit, vibe, cost–that is the mantra in our home. We’re over national standings, top Us & top colleges. All I want my D to focus on is vibe, fit, merit and graduation in 4 years. BHG wants to attend graduate school. BHG needs to find schools with merit money for her undergrad education. We plan to help with grad school, but not if BHG’s father must pay $50-60K each year. </p>

<p>A happy college student is one who will do well. BHG knows what she wants and is excited about the list she complied, and if BHG were to rank her list of schools of interest today, several of the safety schools would top her list as #1 & #2. Yes, the safety schools. She has top 30 schools on the list, but when mail rolls into the mailbox, she always comments on the stuff received from several of her safety schools. It’s all about the fit and vibe and cost.</p>

<p>It is not about name brand recognition or prestige for her, but where she will feel a part of the school community as a whole and thrive as a college student. Every school on BHG’s list is in the top 5% of schools in the nation. Think about it. There are 2400 or so degree granting 4-year institutions in this country. If a LAC has a “US News” ranking of 100, it’s still in the top 4-10% of all colleges & universities across this country. Not many college graduates can say the same of their colleges or universities. </p>

<p>Let’s pull the CTCL schools into the discussion. Where does US News & the other “ranking” entities place these schools on their lists? Every single CTCL school is highly ranked once you take into consideration the bigger picture of national college admissions into 2400 universities and colleges and not the CC bubble of admissions where you’re a loser if you do not apply to or gain acceptance into the top 20 colleges and or universities based on the “rankings” lists. BHG will take top 4% in the nation any day of the week.</p>

<p>I say this with true TLC, work extremely hard on assisting your child in locating safety schools where they can SEE themselves attending and would be happy to attend . Find these schools right NOW and worry about the match and reach schools AFTER your child finds at least 2-3 possible financial and academic safety schools ( you want choices even amongst the safety schools). The locating of the perfect safety school takes time, so much time, that when you find a few it may be next March, and you will have a better picture of GPA and test scores in hand to begin compiling the match and reach school lists. By all means, visit match and reach schools, but keep the focus on the affordable/academic safety until at least two are found that your child can see themselves attending.</p>

<p>Remember, it’s about fit, vibe & finances. Everything else, including prestige is gravy.</p>

<p>There is no falling in love with “The school” school allowed until April 2015.</p>

6806

<p>Sally305- thanks, for the information on the dancer you know at Iowa. BHG also is looking into a double major that includes a field of science. I just wish she liked larger schools–sigh. She does not want a school larger than 7500 at the high end, so that nixed a lot of great programs off the list. I wish my heart shaped D fit into the big U square-shaped hole.</p>

6807

<p>BHM fit vibe and cost is 100% right- I have said repeatedly that I can’t write out checks for $50,000. Unfortunately my kid may get into some schools that I simply can’t pay for so it’s very important for us to identify academic/fit/financial safety’s right off the bat. I also want most of the remaining schools (OOS- in state is not an issue) to be academic safety’s/financial reaches because these are the schools that are most likely to give her merit aid. The remaining 2 or 3 can be those high power type schools. </p>

<p>3girls I do not know what that word means, I can’t spell it and I am so addicted to CC that I won’t even look it up. </p>

<p>My daughter has such meltdowns over her school work ( thankfully getting better) but she seems remarkably calm with this SAT stuff. Hopefully this is not the calm before the storm. A feather in her cap is that she has the stamina to sit through such a long test. </p>

<p>Good luck with scores. Just remember that despite what you read on CC, a 2250+ is not necessary. Once you have a score in hand you can identify a few schools that would be safety schools or possibly give some merit money. Your kid can also take it again or try the ACT. 3girls- once you are in that 700+ zone you are absolutely right- one wrong answer can mean 40 points. The difference between a 710 and a 790 is just 2 or 3 questions. Very often it depends on factors that are out of your control- the actual test and whether it has passages that are more interesting to you and whether it has a vocabulary word that just stumps you on that particular day, the temperature in the room, your mood, etc.</p>

<p>I was talking to an AP physics teacher who teaches in a different school and she told me that she advises her students not to break up with their bf/gf until after AP tests are over. She said she had a kid who was extremely capable of getting a 5 and she got a 3. She was spotted crying during the test and could not get it together. Thankfully my kid does not have a bf!! Don’t need to add that to the list of meltdown triggers.</p>

6808

<p>It’s so nice to be able to come to this thread for a sanity/reality check. I love browsing through many of the threads here on CC, but I get so tired and frustrated reading some of the horrible, harmful advice that is given by students and parents alike. How did so many people lose sight of basic, common sense financial decision-making?</p>

6809

<p>BHM, your last post should be required reading for everyone on this site who gets stressed about college! Fit is everything to us too. My older child loves his LAC (one of the CTCL schools) and I only wish a small school would work for my daughter, as I love the personal attention they offer. But she is really content with the direction she is going and not at all stressed out (she does not have “reach” schools on her list). I wish she wanted to stretch her wings a bit more because I really enjoy the experience of visiting colleges with my kids, and we might not get to do that again unless she adds a few schools to the consideration set.</p>

<p>ETA: Wolverine, I completely agree. The world is so different from when we were graduating from college. I think it’s incredibly unwise to overextend ourselves or our children financially, and fortunately my kids recognize this as well. Except in a few fields (i.e., investment banking, where it really does help to have an Ivy League pedigree), it is impossible to demonstrate greater ROI based on the prestige of the institution one graduates from. Which brings us back to fit–personal and financial.</p>

6810

<p>Good luck to those getting scores back this morning! Fingers crossed that you all are satisfied with the results, whatever they may be. There’s always time to retake if the kiddo wants to give it another go.</p>

6811

<p>It is 5:30 am here. We are early risers but not this early. D ran into our room because she had woken up to check her scores. Nice that she thought we also wanted to be woken with the news. (not)</p>

<p>She did not react with equanimity (a great word! I should plaster it in big letters all over my house as a state-of-mind goal) but she was brimming with excitement. I am happy to report that she is done!! No, these were not perfect scores and your typical cc-er would probably take it again but to her and to us, they are “good enough.” So fantastic on the emotional growth front and on the test front. </p>

<p>Oh, and she got a 9 on the essay! She was thrilled!</p>

6812

<p>@3girls, Congrats on being done! Hope to hear more good news from other CCers this morning.</p>

6813

<p>Excellent. We’ll aspire to “one and done” with DC#2, but I’ve already told him it’s okay if he doesn’t match DC#1’s track record on that. It sounds like she’s happy, you’re happy, and good schools are in play, so it doesn’t matter how other folks might react. Run your own race.</p>

6814

<p>congrats 3girls! That is so good to hear. I suspect D is scared to check her scores because of her ACT results. I’m not asking or mentioning it. Ithink she’s planning to retake at least one test in late spring. Ah well, I think this was why she took the exams early - to get experience with standardized testing and to figure out which exam works best for her. </p>

<p>Thanks BHM and twogirls for putting and keeping things in perspective. vibe, fit and cost.</p>

6815

<p>3girls - Congrats! Big growth moment for your D!!</p>

6816

<p>Thanks all. I’m hoping that this will start to ease the roller coaster phenomenon we regularly experience here. We go from tears that grades are “awful” to news that they aren’t. I think things are evening out some but more improvement and greater maturity is welcomed.</p>

<p>Slackermom, if it had been up to me I wouldn’t have checked the scores. But that was in large part because D’s reaction to the test was so negative. Your D felt pretty good, didn’t she? Anyway, it sounds like you have good perspective.</p>

<p>Now I’m hoping that school and friends don’t interfere with D’s happy moment. She did very well and has no reason to feel disappointed but her school and her friends (and H, ahem) tend to obsess generally and obsess over math specifically–and that was D’s “weakest” score. She needs some earplugs and blinders today. </p>

<p>Suzy, fyi, in this administration of the SAT, the 9 essay did not seem to affect the total score and certainly not in the way it did in practice or in the way I’ve heard in other administrations.</p>

6817

<p>3g3c, I am SO happy for your D! That has to be such a relief for you. Not the number per se, but your D’s reaction to it. Honestly I think that’s all that matters. :slight_smile: Great news about the essay too! I think if D retakes the SAT - doubtful, but she might depending on ACT score - the essay is what will concern her most, so this is good to hear.</p>

<p>SlackerMomMD, fingers crossed for your girl.</p>

6818

<p>Now, with some data in hand, I finally feel that we are in a position to do that search for schools that have the right fit and vibe. We’ve been through this twice before but never with the challenge of distance we face this time around. Since we are not in a position to hire Wolverine to take us back and forth :), I’m going to start by looking at airports and transportation options. I’ve also asked D to meet with her GC to talk over her goals and interests and generate a list of schools to investigate.</p>

6819

<p>SlackerMom - fingers crossed for your D as well. Hope she gets real good scores. </p>

<p>3girls - I heard Wolverine is giving “DEEP” discounts to 2015 parents. :)</p>

6820

<p>3girls, I’m so happy and excited for you and I and my daughter are jealous. :slight_smile: Great job! Good luck in college search and applications.</p>

<p>To others who are still waiting - Good luck!</p>