<p>@herandhismom and @need2learn, my eldest was a social media magnet and now makes her living from it. She also was a procrastinator who insists that working quickly and under pressure prepared her for work as a journalist. You just never know…</p>
<p>@3girls3cats - it’s good to know that there could be a job out of it (if the whole SNL dream doesn’t work out 
</p>
<p>Oh and I agree with you about the post AP classes - that seems to be the new trend almost making AP classes passe.</p>
<p>Our school has certain requirements and prerequisites for AP classes. Even AP Psych had the regular Psych as a pre-req…that one is so silly. You have to have a decent grade in the pre-req to get into the AP. You need a 90 or better average in 10th grade honors English to get into AP English junior year. Also there is a ton of summer work given in every AP class. That weeds out A LOT of kids. If you don’t complete the summer work, they drop you from the AP class.</p>
<p>@Keepme, yes, same here. What I have learned is that those who don’t have the pre-req can ask to be placed on a waiting list if the teacher approves and can get in if there’s room. In our public school back east, kids who didn’t otherwise qualify (grade-wise or course-wise) could ask to take a placement test as an alternative and get in that way. Math is the sole subject that adheres strictly to the prerequisite requirement but even there it is possible to take a summer class to get to AP Calc AB. (Not BC.)</p>
<p>Summer work doesn’t seem to do any weeding here, lol, but the reputation of the class does. You’d be surprised how many kids opt not to take AP US History in the two schools my Ds have attended. The amount of reading and the huge paper scares a lot of them away. </p>
<p>My D is finally DONE with first semester finals. Thank G*d!<br>
She is celebrating by going out to lunch and then baking cookies with friends this afternoon. :-)</p>
<p>Congrats Mihcal!! =D> (love these). Mine wanted to make pancakes today- she found some unusual recipe- but she forgot to make them!!</p>
<p>@3girls3cats, it proves everything has good sides. </p>
<p>@need2learn, your post made me laugh! 
I teach in a college. I remember one time I complained about how my D constantly looked at her phone. One of my students said “I remember those years” so I thought there might be hope in sight. </p>
<p>I’m having a moment of crushing guilt and sadness. 2015 daughter is filling out her senior schedule. It’s stacked with AP courses. I read somewhere in this thread (forgive me for not remembering the poster) a fantastic analogy for senior schedule using a rubber band. I shared the analogy with daughter, and expressed my concern over her very demanding schedule. She said, hesitantly and quietly, “I feel pressured by you to take these courses.” I was/am flabbergasted and very ashamed of myself. Even though I viewed myself as letting daughter pick her own schedule, I have evidently been sending these awful signals the whole time. </p>
<p>I apologized profusely, and asked her if my push for her school to offer the higher math class next year was going too far. Her reply was the only bright spot in the whole miserable conversation: “No, I’m actually looking forward to the math class!” Unfortunately, the relief was outweighed by the awfulness of being “that mom”.</p>
<p>We hugged it out, and I told her over and over she can set whatever schedule she likes and I’ll be thrilled no matter what. </p>
<p>She seems fine now that the cat’s out of the bag, but I am utterly swamped with sadness over my actions. </p>
<p>(Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer, but I am guessing other parents on this site have been in a similar situation. Plus, my husband has already been locked in a room with me for a while as I berated myself and he will probably go nuts if he has to listen to one more “I just feel so bad…” from me.)</p>
<p>It’s hard to counsel our kids when we know, or believe we know, what is best/what colleges want/what the kid is capable of/what will challenge our kid and yet allow them to take the lead in choosing. It’s a fine line!</p>
<p>Helimom I am glad you and D were able to talk it out. </p>
<p>@Helimom74, the fact that you could have this conversation with your daughter and that she could talk to you honestly tells me that you are not “that mom.” Don’t beat yourself up. In fact, you may have done this group a big favor. I’m going to have a talk with my daughter and see if she’s feeling pressure from us. Like you, I have been operating under the impression that I’m not pressuring her to do anything she doesn’t want. This is a good chance for a check-in. </p>
<p>Lots of kids are very tuned into the emotions of those closest to them, and they want to please parents. (Yes, even the kids who drive you crazy are looking for you to react and they look for your approval!)</p>
<p>We’ve had a lot of meta-discussions of this sort. I think it helps. There are certain pressures I <em>want</em> my children to feel. I don’t want them to have to guess about my attitude towards this or that. But sometimes they take it too far.</p>
<p>Aw Heli hugs to you!! That was me giving the rubber band analogy - was just told to me at conferences by the math teacher. Don’t be so hard on yourself- we all go there sometimes and we all make mistakes. Look at how I was ACT/SAT obsessed 
but came to my senses ( or trying) after my D flipped out and after the people here listened to me ( thank you) and advised me to calm down . Of course I am drinking wine right now!! </p>
<p>I don’t really push with the school work and selection of classes simply because she is so incredibly hard on herself. Her physics teacher asked me when she sleeps I-) </p>
<p>Oh, thank you, @OHMomof2 and @3girls3cats! I appreciate the building-up of my crumpled momself. In our conversation, she also said she feels pressures from other kids at her school to stay on a certain academic track. This was very surprising to me, as my kid has always been the one to let peer pressure roll off her completely. She’s part of a group of kids that’ve taken the same courses together since middle school; they’re all on the same level. “Opting out” of the AP Whatever seems to raise eyebrows in this otherwise-supportive group. </p>
<p>Thank you all so much. This is helping me a great deal!</p>
<p>My D has a group like that too. They all tend to take the same classes. My D gets very stressed by this group and puts herself under a tremendous amount of pressure. She gets upset when one of them posts that they are studying when she is not- feels she is slacking. >:P </p>
<p>Aww HeliMom. At least your D felt like she could tell you how she feels, giving you the chance to tell her what you did. These kids are under tremendous pressure, perceived or real, and I think setting up the senior schedule is kind of scary for some of them. I hope she will find the strength to choose the classes that she wants to take!</p>
<p>Everyone needs to not be so hard on yourselves! Everyone’s motivation is that they want the best for their child/ren and so much about college decisions is guesswork.</p>
<p>In one of the previous schools I worked at, so many students signed up for AP classes whether they had a genuine interest in the subject or not. I tried to counsel students out of AB/BC Calc when I thought the motivation was merely “it would look good” for colleges. There were quite a number of times where the C or D in advanced Calc. did NOT look good.</p>
<p>One of my closest friends (and nicest moms you’ll ever meet) thought her D should take AP Chem (along with 3 others). Her D balked at first but Mom told her that she enjoyed science and this would help her for college. Well jr. year has been rough and her D rarely gets to sleep before 1am. She has B’s in two AP’s (including Chem) and is worried about what happens when she plays her spring sport. Now D wants to drop, but counselor says much worse.</p>
<p>One of the nicest, hard-working young men you will meet is in my Calc. class. He loves Math and Science. He took NO AP’s in English or History (against the wishes of his parents.) He has taken AP’s in Computer Science, AB Calc, Chem, and Environmental Sci. He spends oodles of time with the Robotics Club and was an Intel finalist. We were chatting before class yesterday, before the snow, and he has been accepted to Penn and MIT among others, but those are his big two. Not a poor choice for a boy lacking in AP’s.</p>
<p>So hard as a parent to listen because we really really have the best intentions.</p>
<p>Thank you for posting eerboco. I had a hunch that it was not necessary to load up on so many APs. Thankfully my D’s schedule is manageable now that testing is just about over. She works hard but goes to bed at a reasonable hour most nights. </p>
<p>I am grateful that my D2012 took drama as her freshmen-year elective. She become close with some of the theater kids who are super supportive of one-another and less academically inclined than her honors-track friends. It helps her to keep perspective and not feel like “everyone else” is a straight-As-in-a-bazillion-APs student.</p>