D16 is feeling overwhelmed with it all. Will need to explore this in measured bits with her over the next few days. To start, I asked her to write a list of every single thing she feels is on her plate as she preps for college. I wanted her to get it out of her head and I’ll be able to discuss prioritizing/triaging with her to lighten her load. She can also delegate to me. Then, perhaps she’ll also be willing to discuss the more nebulous, emotional stuff she might be concerned about, beyond the “to-do” list.
@dyiu13 hopefully you and your D can figure out what can simply be dropped off the list altogether. Here we have opted to just let the house go a bit while D visits with various mentors, teachers and friends for the last time before heading off. And the organizing and sorting in the attic where all her childhood stuff is dumped is just going to wait until winter break. Ah well.
We were at the memorial for the mother of H’s oldest friend tonight-they’ve known each other since childhood. Although of course it was a sad occasion, we did have the chance to see friends we had not seen in some time. Every so often I would catch someone we knew talking to this tall, poised young woman who seemed completely at ease-and would realize it was my daughter. Sometime in the last couple of months she’s gained a manner that wasn’t there even at the end of HS. She’s completely at ease in the world of adults now and even her looks have matured somehow in a way I can’t quite figure. No one would ever think she is only 16.
She told us tonight that she got a job offer for next summer from the director of her summer program. I think they want her in the office rather than working with the teens, but either way, that means she will have TWO jobs to choose from, since someone in her dad’s county office has also offered her a paid internship. She told us that she can’t wait to get to college and get moving on with the next stage of her life. It was a nice end to the day.
Thank heaven no one in 2017, @texaspg!
Glad to hear there will be at least one other college student with a Fjallraven backpack, @LexieAnn. Borealis seems to be the pack of choice on this list!
Hugs to you and your D, @dyiu13.
@EastGrad 2019 will be here before you know it. Enjoy that short breather , because we start all over again a year from now. 
@sseamom It’s funny how you describe the change in DD’s mannerisms and how she carries herself and matured even since graduation. I experienced that at orientation last week. I saw DS16 from afar on campus, interacting easily with his peers, especially the young men, and interacting with faculty confidently . It took a minute before I realized it was my son. He no longer looked like a shy , somewhat awkward teenage boy. Initially , I felt a great sense of calm , then the sadness crept in as I realized the loss of a small boy and the transition to a young adult. Even though it was a somewhat bittersweet moment, mentally and emotionally I needed that in order for me to transition to a mom of a young adult male. The next month will fly by, but I feel a little more prepared now. That’s great about your daughter and job opportunities , choices are always nice. I’m certain, she’ll have a few more options to choose from by next summer.
@dyiu13 We have made a list as well, but a fairly generic one as an outline to guide our preparation. We both realize, we may not check all the boxes, and some things will need to be pushed aside.
Triage on the to-do list is definitely a plan for coping and reducing D16’s stress. I think that when she sees the whittled list situated on a calendar, she’s going to feel it’s manageable. Last night two festivals and a beach day were removed from the list simply because her job scheduled her for two additional days.
You guys are making me cry @carolinamom2boys @sseamom
(which reminds me obliquely, because I’m a bit congested, of how when I had a cold, I’d ask the kids to bring me “Guess how much I love you” or “Tell me again about the night I was born” because I couldn’t finish those without crying and it would clear out my sinuses very effectively)
DS needed some advice about saying “no” to a job and I helped him and I said, “you know, if you have questions in the future even when you’re not here in person, I’ll still help you.” He said, “Oh, I know. Believe me, I will be calling you.”
I love the confidence these kids sometimes show in their parents… I asked my own dad a question about home repair just last week.
I definitely have my moments in regards to leaving. Like how I am going to handle X,Y, or Z? Then my mom reminds me she’s only a phone call or text away. That helped.
This reminds me of something my D said a while back. She has been stubborn and independent since she was small. We must have been going to a birthday party somewhere and she said, “Oh, you are doing all my kids’ parties! I don’t know how to do all that creative stuff- the cakes, the games, the crafts!! You will have to come over and do it! You gave us the best parties!” It was one of those unexpected moments when she blurted out something that made me know she did appreciate some of what I did for her- and the bonus, that she is planning on keeping me involved in her future. I love moments like that!
Now y’all are making me choke up.
Shucks! Sitting here waiting for my car get the oil changed, and have tears in my eyes. The other people are going to think I’m nuts.
So, hi again. It’s been crazy here–MIL is on hospice, D16’s boyfriend had emergency surgery, his grandfather dies (on the same day) and D16 started a new job near campus 45 minutes away. I have tried to keep up !! Any tips on navigating Dorm Mountain?
Wow, @kandcsmom , what a lot on your plate! Are you flying or driving to the college?
We are flying, and here’s our plan of attack: Space bags. Put everything you are packing that is some sort of fabric, and seal it in a space bag. You will be surprised not only at how much less space it will take up, but things will even weigh a little less (you wouldn’t think AIR would have much weight). Then take a dry-erase or sharpie and write the weight of each bag on it. That way you’ll know how to pack them to meet the airline regs.
For books-use USPS media mail, which takes longer, but is insanely cheap. Smaller bulky items can go in the USPS Priority Mail “if it fits, it ships” for a predetermined price.
For the majority of the dorm room stuff-we sought out the local stores and mapped out how to get to them, with a list of what we’ll buy where. We are NOT using BBB as even with coupons Target, Walmart and Ross will beat them, and in our case, all three PLUS a Costco are within a mile or two of each other.
We’re trying to minimize the things we ship, whether USPS, Amazon, or shop to store, just to keep the number of locations we need to pick up down. YMMV.
But the real saving grace has been the space bags. I cannot believe how much more D can pack using them. We have mostly the Walmart version, but there are many brands.
Wow, @kandcsmom, that is a lot to absorbe all at once. I’m so sorry for the health issues and stress.
Dorm Mountain. Ours is in the living room, currently, and was basically a mound of walmart, target, and other miscellaneous bags and item accumulated from around the house, until last night.
I took everything out of its packaging and grouped things by category.
- I have one pile that is all the toiletries + laundry detergent, fabric softener, and laundry bag.
- Another pile is desk and desk drawer items, spiral notebooks, etc.
- Next is the backpack - with umbrella, bike locks, eventually the computer, cords, etc.
- I have a separate bag that has command adhesive hooks/strips, magic sliders, tape, scissors, screwdrivers and hammer, doorstop, and surge protectors, etc. This is my Mary Poppins bag that we use to set up the room.
- Bedding is packed upside down in a garbage bag to easily make the bed.
- We keep clothes on hangers in garbage bags.
- Other small clothes are in walmart bags to dump or lay in their respective dresser drawers.
- I cleaned out our mini-fridge and will pack paper plates, plastic silverware, etc. inside it and tape the door closed for transport.
- That is all I can remember at the moment. Other miscellaneous things - desk lamp, dirt devil, etc. go in garbage bags or boxes, depending on breakability.
We haven’t gone through S’s room yet. We need to go through clothes like some above have mentioned - sorting into take, leave, keep, give away.
Okay sounds crazy but…I wish we all going to the same place so we could get a drink after we drop them off. I don’t drink anything but a stiff latte :)) :((
@psychmomma your list and plans are very helpful, although I went into a bit of a panic realizing how much more we need to pull together! We are on vacation the week before DS goes to school, then home for 2 days before driving him to campus - guess I need to get it all taken care of before we vacation!
Today I took DS through a mini-lesson on his new bank account. He has some starter checks and can do mobile banking, so I showed him how to start his check register, then wrote him a check which he happily learned how to mobile deposit and log in the register, and tomorrow he’ll write me a check from his account to practice that part and we’ll transfer some money from his checking to his savings account. It might be the only paper check he ever writes, but at least he’ll have done it once :). He was thrilled to see that his bank gives a $50 credit to young adults who open a new account with them…a nice surprise!
Also, I called State Farm to see what coverage they offer college students. They have personal article insurance to cover laptop damage/theft that sounds very affordable, so we will look into that. Nothing else in the room will have much value, and they don’t cover phones (he’s not bringing a bike). Car insurance doesn’t change at all whether they don’t have access to a car on campus (no discount) or whether they bring one to campus (no surcharge).
To compare with your family’s insurance, here is a college student insurance company. We have used it and filed one claim.
https://www.collegestudentinsurance.com/
@HappyFace2018 - what fun that would be!
I think our home owners’ insurance covers up to 10% of our policy…? Maybe not for fancy things like if he had jewelry or a TV (?)
We also have dorm mountain broken into several ranges of mountains. I woke up in a panic remembering that I want to get him Lysol wipes, windex, etc. to have as well.
Hi everyone. Just wanted to share some words of wisdom from a parent that was at our orientation last week. It sounds like common sense, but I really needed to hear it from a seasoned parent. He said " The child that you drop off on move in day will not be the same person who comes home for Thanksgiving and the child that comes home at Thansksgiving will not be the young adult that comes home next May. Mourn the loss of childhood , but embrace the young adult your child has become . It only gets better."
I checked with our insurance company and they said D’s belongings in her dorm room were covered under our homeowners policy at no additional charge. This included her laptop. We will be getting a slight discount on our car insurance because she will be going to college over 100 miles away from home.
@sseamom What section of stores are space bags? Tried the other day to find them at Walmart…then decided they must not carry them.