Re. safety
As per my prior post, d has not taken safety and any advice her dad and I have given her very seriously. This changed abruptly in a rather disconcerting way this summer. She participated in an early Freshman study abroad in Italy. They had classes on campus for a few days and then spent 3 weeks in Italy. Parents had a separate orientation session before they left. Less than two weeks prior to them leaving, a US study abroad student was found dead in Italy. I believe the company that organizes study abroad for our university does so for many other universities across the country and likely for the one involving the student who was found dead. They seemed to have intimate details of what occurred. Parents were told that the student in question had gone off on his own and was found dead “in the wrong side of town”; he had not followed their safety rules of going places with a buddy. University staff explained that their main rule was that no one was to ever go anywhere by themselves. There was no give and take in their statement. They stressed even if someone was not feeling well and wanted to be excused from dinner early, they would have to wait until someone else would go with them back to the hotel.
The benefit of the trip is that she listened to all the safety advice university staff gave. Even though it was pretty much the same thing we have been telling her, she took it seriously and I think it will have long term impact on choices she makes to keep herself safe. The downside to the trip was that that was pretty much their main rule; we were told that in Italy they are old enough to drink and they would not be chaperoned in the evening and they were free to go out after dinner. What a big surprise for me given how much control the high school has over students! I really was surprised by this one… They also had two free days where they could plan whatever activities they liked. At each city they went to the travel agent also gave them advice on what area of town to not go to and what nightclubs not to go to because they had a reputation for roofies or perhaps theft of unsuspecting tourists.
It was an interesting experience for d, and her dad and I. In spite of my advice about pick-pocketing, she was not as careful as she could have been and had her phone stolen in Rome. Two other students also had their phones stolen. She called me on someone else’s phone and was crying (balling her eyes out and hiccup-crying) because she had all of her high school grad pics on the phone. She tried to go to the police but felt threatened by them instead of feeling they were helpful due to language barriers, perhaps their mistrust of foreigners, and they were carrying machine guns. After she lost her phone, I worried a lot because I was not able to keep in contact with her. They had a great free day in Florence, but they got lost in Rome. Talked to her again and she was upset because the students who had phones did not charge them all the way and they had no GPS while they were lost… Pretty soon she texted me to let me know that everyone was getting the flu and also had pink eye.
The second to last day they were there she called me again, practically crying due to tiredness and stated that now she was sick and had pink eye. Because of the buddy rule, she was not excused from activities, including the traditionally late Italian dinner that lasts a couple of hours. The night before boarding the plane to come home we texted each other and she said she still had pink eye. I googled reasons people are not allowed to travel and found that pink eye can sometimes prevent someone from boarding. I then did not get any sleep because I was worried about her being left behind in a foreign country with no phone to contact me.
It seems that her pink eye was somewhat better the next morning, so she did not have problems boarding. They had direct flight back and she said she slept the whole time. When she got home, I think she slept for about 48 hours straight, only getting up for light meals and juice.
Once she was feeling better she said she had a fantastic time. I questioned her because she only called or texted me when there were problems. I then told her that she needed to share the good things with me too. She said that her group really looked after each other- especially when they were sick and lost in Rome. It was truly a bonding experience. Now that they are at the university, they have continued their friendship and have meals and get together during the weekend. We decided to get insurance on only her iphone; good choice as it only cost us $99 to replace her phone. Luckily, almost all her photos were uploaded automatically to icloud storage, so her graduation photos are intact.
So- now we have a safety conscious daughter, but I feel like it came at a cost of many near-sleepless nights for me. Also of note is that prior to losing her phone, I was listening to multiple reports of possible terrorism in Italy. The attack in France by the guy driving the truck happened a couple of hours before the parent orientation session. Their connecting flight to Italy had a 10 hour layover in Paris in the aftermath of that attack. Next there was the attack in Germany and then the another one in France of a mother/ tourist and her daughters. All this happened while she was in Italy… It definitely was a test of my worrying/ coping skills. So, I would have to say it was an experience for all of us.
She is already investigating additional study abroad trips that would provide coursework in her major. :-S
