Hang in there everyone. Senior year is a long and stressful one, but amazing at the same time. For some of you it may take some very unexpected twists and turns.
My daughter is a freshman in college this year and loving her school so far. We did not visit the schools that she applied to (though at one of them she had spent 8 summers going to band camp, so she was very familiar with the campus). She believed she would be happy attending any of the schools she applied to. We were chasing merit scholarships since that was our only avenue for a discount, and the whole process became one of shifting sands for months, because she got offers of increasing value with each offer that started with her first admission in early October and didnât end until the last merit scholarship offer in mid-April. That it went down that way was so unexpected because half of her list was early action, so we thought we would most likely have a good idea where she would be going by Christmas. That last offer was full-tuition, and that is where she goes to school now.
It will all work out for you too, since you are all so motivated to stay on top of things. By this time next year, your child will be in college, and most likely in the place that is best for them even if it isnât the place they think they want to attend today.
S has a clear cut first choice-- which moved steadily up the list from âyeah, fine, Iâll applyâ to âthis place is so awesomeâ. Itâs a reach, but a really good fitting reach. I only hope they think so, too. Not sure if demonstrated interest counts for this school, but heâs done everything he can given the constraints of a low budget and 1500 milesâ distance. And fwiw, itâs also the school most likely to have given him a nickname.
::crossing anything crossable::
He has a strong second choice, but itâs a lottery school, soâŠwell, you miss all the shots you donât take, yeah?
Then probably four favorites after that, for some kind of oddball reasons, but the order they fall in changes day to day. One probably moved up the list a bit by sending him a fee waiver yesterday. He suddenly feels wanted!
Then some others he really would be happy attending, but which arenât quiteâŠthere. Mostly because they arenât the best financial matches on the list. At some point, thereâs a âwould I rather go here than State U enough to take out loans?â factor, and the answer for these schools is âletâs see what they offerâ.
So far, LORs are in. Heâs got awesome recommenders. Weâve seen one letter of three, which is a definite 10/10. The other two should be in the same ballpark. Oneâs from his math teacher, two are from social studies teachers, one of whom coaches Academic Team. It should balance out all his music extracurriculars and make him look less like a one-trick pony. I hope.
@dyiu13 When did the LORs have to be in? Is there still a chance? @carolinamom2boys Oh no! Sounds like heâs still an excellent candidate though. Iâd think heâd still probably make the cut.
I think thereâs a chance D16âs LORs will get in by Friday, some via CA electronic delivery but others will be sent by mail. She learned one teacher is on top of the LORs and has already prepped them for the CA. We alerted the school last night seeking help on this, and I know D16 will follow up today. This is one of the few times I have stepped in to ask for help â mainly because the full-tuition grant is being put at risk. The other time was for testing accommodations. So, I hope D16 still feels a lot of agency. Donât want to be a snowplow mom. Colleges wanted her COMPLETE apps by today. CA listed a Nov 15 LOR deadline, which is not valid for D16âs situation.
After this week SAT subject tests DD will resume work on her applications. I read somewhere that unless it is a rolling admission there is no reason to press the button earlier. She secured recommenders last year, reminded them few weeks ago, but did not add them to Naviance yet. She wants to meet with them for a few minutes and go over her resume briefly.
Itâs a fine line to walkâŠletting the student take ownership of this process but also being there to step in because most of the time there is so much riding on each step of the process. For the most part the students do not truly understand the ramifications of procrastinating or forgetting some of these responsibilities. I try to keep my D aware of impending deadlines and the things necessary to be completed by each deadline (whether its my mental health deadline or a true deadline). I liked another posterâs idea of weekly Sunday calendar update meeting but I find that she will say ok on Sunday and by Tuesday be like "what did you remind me of?. With everything she needs to do on a daily basis, its a wonder she can do as well as she does. Between fall sport commitments, heavy course load, essay writing, supplemental questions and essays, one SAT 2 exam on Saturday (last test YEAH!), EC, work, etc., its not surprising that these kids might procrastinate or forget. I send reminder texts in the mornings and follow ups in the afternoon before she leaves school. I really want to have her take ownership of her process but if she forgets or procrastinates it could costs thousands, if not tens of thousands or even more. That kind of blurs the line of it being âher processâ because the reality is that the entire family rises and falls on the way âher processâ is handled. Therefore, I cannot be totally hands off. I even intervene with the GC (on the Q T) just to make sure things are processing smoothly on his end and oh her end. I do not call the colleges or anything like thatâŠyetâŠbut if its crunch time and we need to know if they received all necessary information, I will do that too. Yes, I am a control freak, but in this situation (with deadlines, acceptances, scholarship money and just a lot of time, energy and money in general on the line) I feel it is a necessary evil. I did the same for my S two years earlier. Now that âthe familyâ does not rise and fall quite as much on his handling of his things, I take a much more laid back approach. I still remind and both S and D refer to me as their âAdministrative Assistantâ. LOL I think it is more like I am their âadministrative aâŠyou know whatâ! Itâs the dance we do.
Congrats on your Dâs acceptance and everyoneâs acceptances so far. My D is hitting the submit button for first school applying to on October 9th. The CA is just about done, but she finds out her exact rank within the top ten students of her graduating class at the breakfast honoring them on October 9th. So we will find that out, add it to the CA and with shaky finger hit submit. She is going on a college tour that weekend with a friend and will not be back until the 13th. Too close to the October 15th EA deadline for one of her top schools. She is applying to about 12 schools (and apparently most of her favorite ones are reaches for one reason or anotherâŠ2 ivies no one is a sure bet, 2 or 3 like ivies, a couple where she is an out of state student and their state mandated quota for out of state acceptances makes a safe school a reach for her and a few more that are seemingly safe schools but she would only want to attend if she got into their honors program - makes them somewhat reaches as well) about half EA (none ED because she wants to see & evaluate decision results from all schools). As a result of her âcriteriaâ I do not think any of her schools are actually safe. UGH. Crossing my fingers that decision time wonât totally send her into a tailspin.
We have not visited a few of Dâs safety schools yet. I told her to go ahead and apply, then weâd go visit.
I think she may get a little merit aid at these schools (we donât need it for her to attend, but hey, weâll take it!) so I want her to go ahead an apply early. She may also like them better than the others sheâs visited already, who knows?
One is on the Amtrak route, so thatâs helpful @dyiu13, thanks!
Itâs in southern IL, though, and she has this idea she dislikes southern IL. Sheâs vegetarian and afraid she wonât find anything to eat (we have relatives in that area, and it is, indeed, difficult eating out, and at peopleâs homes!) But - this is in a college town, I keep telling her. I researched google maps, and there is one all-veg restaurant and cafe, and other places are veg-friendly. Campus dini g will be too. Again - a college town. College towns are not going to be like the area around them - otherwise, Indiana University and University of Iowa would be 99% in-state students, lol.
Iâd still like for her to apply to at least two LACs. I donât know if she will, or not, but Iâd like her to keep her mind open to them, at least until sheâs visited them. But every one sheâs visited so far, she does not care for the small campus and what she calls a âboarding-schoolâ vibe.
Funny that is the vibe that my D got from visiting the smallish LAC that we visited for my S two years ago and the few I was able to get her to visit for herself. Many of them had singular political views etc. Not enough students to have a nice exchange of ideas and viewpoints. We found this out because one father in an information session at one of these schools actually asked the question no one expected to the panel of students "What is something you wish was different at this school? The student answered that she wished there were more of an exchange of ideas (political and otherwise). I used that mentality over and over while helping my D assess other schools that we visited. My D has decided that she prefers a bigger environment than many of the smallish LAC. She set her sights on schools with an absolute minimum of 5,000 students - preferably between 10,000 to 15,000. My S19 initially chose a small midwest LAC (3,000 students) where he was recruited to play lacrosse. Once he got there he realized that he made a huge mistake. The students were clicky and not used to out of state students (especially from the northeast) and thought he spoke funny, etc. He finished the semester and transferred to an excellent state university in our area and spent the spring semester re-evaluating his situation. He decided that he want to focus more on academics and play intramural lax. He found a southern college that he loved, he applied as a transfer for this past fall and is loving life now! A long and winding road to happiness but definitely a learning experience. My D (and the entire family) supported him and traveled that winding road with him, took heed from his experiences and is making much different choices her time around than she would have otherwise. We all initially thought that my S would do well in one of the small LAC but in actuality, he is flourishing better than ever expected in a very large southern university with an excellent reputation. His new motto is Large University, Lots of Ideas and Opportunities!
My daughter thought she wanted small LACâs until we visited a few larger schools. She really likes the larger 5-20,000 schools. I want her to visit when students are all in session to make sure though, as we visited many during the summer.
Yes I agree, we started doing the same (visiting while classes were in) to get a more accurate picture of campus life. We are looking to take another college tour road trip to try and get to another couple of schools on her list. One is a revisit because our tour guide left a lot to be desired and we do not fell that tour was truly representative of the school as a whole and the other is one we have not visited yet. We have gone to most but time and money do sometimes impact the feasibility of these jaunts. By the time she finishing applying we will have visited 9 out of 12 schools. The rest we will visit as an admitted student if sheâs accepted and they make the final cut.
My Dâs feelings about the small LACs we visited are very similar to your Dâs, @lvmjac1 . What sort of surprised me is that one of her complaints about a couple of the school, is that there seemed to be âonly affluent, white, very liberal kidsâ.
I think some of that perception was based on student reviews she read, and local hearsay⊠But I was surprised because - my D is an affluent, white, and very politically liberal kid. Lol.
But seriously, I was pleasantly surprised by her desire to want to be in a more balanced community, even if it means some in that community will not share all of her views or values. She also attends a big public high school that is very diverse, racially/ethnically and in terms of SES. So, I think some of it may be seeking a comfort level sheâs used to - although no university sheâll attend will approach the diversity of her high school.
She also said she did not want a college smaller than her high school of almost 2,000.
5-20k is the magic number for her. We also looked at a couple of Big Ten universities (and her sister attended U of Iowa, which D has visited a few times) and D said right away, âThese are cool places, but they are too big and sprawling for me. I want something smallerâ. But not too small, apparently.
My D is not as independent as I was at her age, so I thought the LAC atmosphere would be more nurturing for her, but a mid-sized school would make her have to figure some things out on her own, without being in an overwhelmingly huge and bureaucratic environment.
And there are still a wider array of academic options than at the smaller schools.
Yes, we also plan to visit this fall or next spring, while classes are in session. Different vibe than in summer. We did visit the LACs while classes were in session, though - just not the bigger campuses.
@lvmjac1 funny you should mention âspeaking funnyâ. D brought this up as a concern just last week If she attends school out of state. Sheâs worried that other students will peg her as a brainless girl from Southern California because of the way she speaks.
@grlscoutmom DD was attending summer program this year and majority of the kids were from mid-west or east coast. The program was very selective so real âvalley girlsâ would not make it into the program to begin with. They were friendly teasing her as being a valley girl (we never lived in a valley). It was nothing but friendly jokes. I guess I can see how for someone with less of sense of humor then my DD it might have been a problem.
@BeeDAre I can say the exact same comments about my daughter. She is white, would be considered affluent and may lean a bit more to the liberal side but she too does not want to go to a school where everyone is of the same mindset. Where we live the cost of living is so very high that do not feel affluent. I imagine by most standards we would be considered affluent. There are Chevyâs not BMWâs in our driveway. All our taxes, utilities & insurances are so ridiculously high that they stifle any of my dreams of affluence. LOL. My D wants to be around diverse, different and interesting people. She is very open minded and really likes seeing different perspectives. Our high school is just under 1500 students so going bigger was a definite. My D does not like the huge sprawling campuses either. We visited Furman with my S and it was so pretty like a plantation with its mature trees, etc. The average walk from the dorms to the academic buildings was long more than 15 minutes I believe. My D was like âno way too far to walk in the morningâ. This was a couple of years ago but at that time the trend was having a Vespa scooter to travel from the dorms to the academic buildings (apparently the athletes were the big proponents of that trend)! LOL. The things you learn from visiting all these different college campuses, cities and towns. It has been very interesting (expensive tooâŠlol) going to all these different areas of the country (south, Midwest, Mid Atlantic, etc). It has given the kids a better perspective of things - an understanding that the way things are in our area is not necessarily the way things may be in another area. Which is not necessarily better or worse - just different and that our area is not the end all, beat all of everything.
One of the reasons that my daughterâs college list is so lengthy and diverse is that we have not been able to do much in the way of visiting. Every school (save the in-state option, which is a 6 hour drive) requires a flight of several hours. Even if our budget allowed for all the plane tickets (hugely expensive from our remote locale), her commitment to multiple sports and other extracurriculars makes trips of multiple days tough to plan.
She hasnât done any college-based summer programs. Two of her high school summers were dominated by an international service trip and the other two have been all about her sports. Not complainingâŠit is what it is, she made her choices and doesnât regret them. However, it has meant she is going into this without a good idea of what she wants in a college. Between that and our need for an almost-full coverage financial package, the application net is embarrassingly wide!
No trains from our state and no Southwest Air!
She did apply for fly-in programs, but has been turned down for the most part. She and my husband will go to one program in November that offers partial reimbursement for the flight (which we will combine with a mileage ticket for my husband). There are actually two of her schools in that area so they will stay a little longer and see the other one too. Unfortunately both schools are of a similar type (small, private, religious); I wish she was seeing a bit of contrast!
One cool thing: she got a fee waiver from one school after applying for (and being turned down) for their fly-in program. Iâll take it!
My D13 got some financial help for visits after acceptances came in, and I am hoping that will be the case here too.
@grlscoutmom , we have to negotiate the âsubtract ten IQ points for a Southern accentâ problem.
S is looking for diversity as well. Our school is white and Hispanic, with a smaller number of black and Chinese kids. Socially it tends to be working class and liberal, though Sâs best friend is a trust fund kid. Heâs not looking to recreate our town, certainly, even if he could-- but heâs not looking for a student body thatâs uniformly middle class white kids, either. We went to one college recruiting night where the entire audience was exactly that other than a couple of Indian kids he knew from middle school. He was kind of creeped out, to be honest, and the school came off the list.
How many schools are too many? Since it is so difficult to tell apart high matches from reaches I donât know how to classify half of the schools on her list.
