@carolinamom2boys – I’ll be eligible for Medicare before S16 graduates college.
@4kids2graduate – Your words hit home, as S14 used to routinely say during his (overworked) high school years, “My youth is being stolen away from me!!”
I barely did any homework in high school, took the SAT once with no preparation, didn’t even know what an EC was (even though I was involved in them), but ended up at a good college and then at an Ivy medical school. No one worried about making a living, because the economy was such that regardless of your major you’d be assured a good job (and even a profession) if you were a hard worker. Like you, I feel sorry for our kids who see themselves living in a world of ever-diminishing resources, with a huge income disparity between those who ‘make it’ and those who don’t. It’s crazy enough to feel the pressure of needing to succeed in college. To feel it in high school is worse.
But it is what it is, and again like you (and I’m sure all the parents here) I’m proud of my sons for getting through all of this one day at a time, and not ‘checking out’ by making poor choices.
Yes…as we speak my son is on a cross country trip to a competition about 6 hours away (they left this morning, and will return about 1:00 a.m. early Sunday morning). I am happy he is so dedicated to his sport, but so concerned that he is missing out on 2 days that he could be trying to get essays and apps worked on (plus he will be SO tired Sunday). His first EA app is due 10/15 - and up until now the very few apps he has worked on were school specific and not on common app. Now he has to concentrate on getting his common app completed, plus the supplement for the app due the 15th! The plus is that it is forcing him to tweak everything early, so additional apps will have the initial work done already (except for those with time consuming supplements with multiple short answer questions or essays).
@petrichor11 Yes, I also am expecting son to hit that saturation point, however I think that may very well happen before the last essay is written. He really struggles with essays - his math/science brain does not lend itself naturally to the creative writing process.
Regarding the SAT, S has two subject tests tomorrow and then we are done forever. He said after so much studying for them that he feels he couldn’t possibly improve if he does not get the score he wants. So the SAT journey that started in 6th grade with taking the SAT for summer programs comes to an end tomorrow. Thank goodness I never have to buy an SAT book again (hopefully, I don’t want to jinx me or him). I have never seen S take so much initiative in studying.
Regarding stress, I have a student who has had a few stress attacks this year in my class as well as a few other teachers classes, so I talked to the principal. We met with the parents and afterward another teacher and I had a long talk with the principal about how we can make school less stressful. The amount of stress placed on these kids is insane and only getting worse.
@Cheeringsection, one thing I have done is have my seniors talk with the juniors about getting their SAT’s or ACT’s done by the end of junior year.
And finally, it is October, only one more month until I get bombarded with letters of recommendations.
This morning DD was worried her AP Calc BC quiz. Math is her least priority and she always did not prepare well enough. I talked with DD and agreed her to drive to school and help her to practice quiz. Traffic is bad in NYC and I worried that if I taught her at home, we will be late. We left home at 6 am and parked my car near school. Problem set was easy and I wonder why she spends just 30 mins a day to practice. I doubt she’s taking more math class at college.
@Mysonsdad I’m surprised you are not bombarded already. The teachers at my school are already working on them. There are lots of people(mostly girls) that go EA.
Stress has been rampant for my D all last year (with SAT tutoring, 5 AP Classes and 1 College course, driver’s Ed, Varsity Soccer, travel team soccer, multiple clubs, NHS, Spanish Honor Society, and her multiple volunteer activities) and minus a small reprieve in the summer it went straight into this year (mostly because she decided to veg a little this summer and did not totally complete her 5 AP summer assignments before school started). Don’t even get me started on summer assignments for the AP Classes…or I will explode. D has had a few emotional episodes over the last year and a half but she has regained her composure and risen to each occasion. Thankfully, this is the last test tomorrow. We did have all the testing done in June but she wanted to give the Math 2 one last try to improve. @4kids2graduate like your son struggles with essays, my D struggles with self doubt in math and conversely writes amazingly. She sat down and in minutes just typed her CA essay like it was nothing…and it was really really good. It’s not math per se…but the idea of math. She gets amazing grades in every math class she has taken but for some reason she doesn’t believe in herself? She suffers from test anxiety in most tests to some degree but with math it is so much worse…hence the Math 2 retake. She is trying to conquer her demon. Every time she succeeds in conquering one of her “demons” her confidence across the board increases. So we support her efforts and pray that her score goes up. If it doesn’t it won’t be the end of the world for her applications but it may set her confidence in math back a bit.
Now for my rant on the AP summer assignments…they are ridiculous and they overburden the students that are already carrying the heaviest burden. Its not like they are preparing for the first week of class by reading ahead in the text or anything. They are doing busywork essays, problem packets, etc. The students in the “gennie pop” as we call the regular classes may only have to read one book over the summer for English. The AP students have to read three books and do an in depth writing assignment for AP Lit, read two books and write an in depth analytical essay for AP Macro, same for AP Gov, a full assignment for College Spanish and a full packet for AP Bio. From past experience we have learned that most of these assignments do not help the student acclimate to the class and if they took a similar class on a college campus there may be a reading assignment to be done before the first class to start off running. Let these kids have their summer to recharge and spend more time on the things that really inspire and speak to them. For us it seems like school never ends. I will not miss high school once my D graduates. I will miss the young lady that graced their halls but not necessarily the institution and the way it worked most of the time. The high achieving students are continually overburdened for no apparent reason. It makes no sense to me.
@readingclaygirl, at my school the vast majority of kids apply to UC’s whose apps open in November and they don’t want LOR’s. After those apps are in they start applying for private schools, and that is when I get hit. Not too many kids apply early action.
Reading some of your posts I feel so young on here and yet I’m old enough to join AARP.
We are down to the wire with D’s first application due 10/15 and still waiting on gc LOR and two teachers LOR (one teacher showed their LOR to my D so we know that one is done but none have been uploaded as of yet). I emailed my D gc today to gently remind of impending deadline and my D wish to hit submit 10/10 in case there are any last minute snafu’s. GC assured me that all is in line to meet my D’s timeline…so we will relax for the weekend and recommit to worrying on Monday. LOL.
Spoke with the GC yesterday about the kids’ letters. She said she wanted to make sure she did good job for S and was completely willing to lay bare the school district’s shortcomings to do so. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It should provide a context for the weirdness that is his academic record.
D will be a tougher sell, but also is applying to less rigorous schools, so that helps. I’m really glad my kids are class of 16 right now. We definitely got the best GC out of the bunch.
@lvmjac1 I am in total agreement about summer AP homework! I think the purpose is primarily a weed out process prior to the classes starting in the fall. We have experienced it all - some teachers don’t even grade it, some give it minimal grade value, some grade it very harshly. One year my older daughter received a C on her summer homework (and it was worth substantial points), so the first semester of the school year she was continuously scrambling to bring up her grade significantly. The homework included multiple books to read, short answer assignments plus an essay - and the instructions were very vague and could be interpreted several different ways. It turned out the teacher wanted something specific that wasn’t clearly spelled out, yet the teachers are not accessible during the summer if students need more direction or assistance. She did not allow the assignment to be re-done either.
DS really has grown up. He just got up on his own (yes early on Saturday after a late HS Football night) to keep a commitment he made. Before he left he gave me a run down of his day. Lots to do and some require tight timing to get it all in. I am proud that he can handle it all and VERY glad that I am still here in my robe!!! :(( :((
@4kids2graduate : Can we please get rid of those teachers whose assignments are in no way related to the tests they end up administering, or whose instructions are so vague the kids have to wonder if they missed something that was said in class? Teachers not accessible during the summer?
Can we just re-think and re-do what we are asking of these kids, and at a time when they must advocate for themselves so it doesn’t look like metal blades are whirring just over a teacher’s head?
@Cheeringsection: Bravo! Your son understands the nature of growing up: he is moving into independence, but there is a heavy dose of interdependence in that. I keep telling kiddo, ‘I am here. Tell me what you need.’
@4kids2graduate Oh wow that is terrible. At our school most of the AP teachers admit (on the Q T) that they do not want to give a summer assignment but are apparently forced by the district. I have researched this and found that college board “suggests” summer assignments but leaves the actual assignment or actually giving it up to the discretion of the high school. I am all for an assignment relevant to the start of the class but anything else is just mindless busy work to either push students wavering not take the class, be a burden to the students intent on taking it or as an easy A to start the semester. In any case, its just burdensome. If high academic students are capable ad willing to take 5 AP and a college Spanish course they do not need busy work, they need flexibility! But what do we parents (or the students involved) know?
@Cheeringsection That is great that your S has owned his situations. My S (19 and sophomore in college) has only recently shown huge improvement in that area - thank god. D 17 has always been the one to own her situations and be more on top of things than my S. It’s the stress that has tended to derail her lately. I have been gently reminding and guiding her because of she has recently shown a inclination to bury her head in the sand. Waiting as we “speak” for her return from Math 2 SAT 2 exam…and hoping that she crushed it and she can relax and begin submitting her apps next weekend.
Good luck for everyone’s children taking the SATs this morning. It’s a rainy mess here. I wouldn’t want to leave my house let alone use my brain this AM.
DD went to her volunteer work as usual. This is her 5th year volunteering the same work. 4 hours every Saturday during school year. Last year was a little tricky because of SAT tests.
:((