@lvmjac1 : What? A Top Ten of Graduating Class breakfast? No way would I stand quietly for that. My son received recognition all the time and if I thought they were going to honor the kids who are, quite frankly, always lauded anyway, I would have not-so-quietly boycotted.
@Waiting2exhale I wish my son went to your school. Frankly, our high achieving academic students rarely get recognized at all. The only students that get recognition are the athletic teams or band . I find it refreshing that a school recognizes the achievements these kids have accomplished. In my opinion, itâs something theyâve earned and worked hard for so it does deserve recognition.
@waiting2exhale Ah, sorry, I should have been more specific. These were not taken for credit, they were intensive summer courses (at college level though not really good enough to qualify). Thanks for the tip, yes it looks like I can request transcripts to go directly to the colleges.
@carolinamom2boys: I am astonished at how often that is the case. I raised my kids in a place that is fond of large public high schools, and all the team spirit you can think of. They did not attend those schools, through grace, aptitude and some big-time budgeting and sacrifice for plenty of years. When we were told by the school we were interested in that our oldest kid would not have to apologize for being smart, we were immensely happy. Iâd always had images of my kids being pushed into lockers, and beat up in the restrooms. I donât know if it would have truly happened, and I am a public school kid myself, but enough had happened by 5th grade to let me know I would never be comfortable with them in a large-school setting.
So, yes, he was often acknowledged by both the school as well as his peers, as was my oldest daughter (though not so much by the school as by her peers) as smart, high achieving, integral to the school community and of good character. All of these things made me pleased, to be sure, but then at some point I needed to know that the kids who were not always having their name called up would have a chance to be recognized as well. And many were, so the school looked at contribution to the school community and personal effort and ethics often enough to tell all the kids that if they gave it 100%, it would be noticed.
And sports grew to be important at the school as well, which made all those who care about that know that their student-athlete was in a place that appreciated who their student was. My daughters are the sportsmen among my children, and I try very hard to pretend that I know what is going on when they are out there doing this or that. (I clap when the other parents clap, and yell when they yell. Once a parent leaned over and told me my child had just made a great play, it was âtime to clap hard.â 
I made suggestions for our S based on available majors, location, and affordability. Every place heâs applying so far is somewhere I suggested. There were several suggestions that didnât interest him, though.
Glad to hear thereâs somewhere in the world where kids who excel in academics get actual recognition, 'cause itâs sure not happening here. As @carolinamom2boys said-- band and athletes get the kudos. The most recognition my son has gotten for his grades is âyeah, well, Stevenâ (not his real name) whenever the subject of academics is brought up.
There are advantages to his school, and I wouldnât want him at the IB magnet (though if I could have afforded the tony Jesuit-education high school Iâdâve considered it). And as far as I know, nobody gets stuffed into lockers. But organized academic recognition is not one of those advantages.
OTOH, I got to see one of his teachersâ recommendation letters this week, and it is awesome. Beyond awesome. So the important recognition is there, at least.
@waiting2exhale Both of my children , as well as my husband and I are products of the public school system. I attended the oldest all girl magnet school in the country back in the 70s. My son has always done well academically . I truly donât believe that he missed out on anything by attending a public school. When he was a rising Freshman , he applied to a magnet HS , as well as a middle college charter HS. One was purely admission by lottery, the other accepted 6 students district wide into the program . He was 4 th on the waitlist. We were disappointed , but he made the decision if his name came off of the waitlist after he started school, he would not transfer and would stay at our zoned school. 5 days after school started, his name came up. He did not transfer. It was the best decision he couldâve ever made. He has matured and gained much needed self confidence. He was never expected to apologize for being smart. He is ranked 4th in his class of 462 students. He is in the NHS ", Beta club, academic team and science team being the team captain for both for the past two years. He has taken all honors and AP classes throughout HS. He is ranked in the top 1% of his class. He has received 1 4 and 2 5s on his AP exams , so itâs not a case of grade inflation . He has thrived and worked hard for everything that he has accomplished . He is well respected by his peers , and I have been approached by many of them who have told me that he helped them get through some very hard classes . Youâll have to excuse me if I sound a little defensive , but I tend to get that way when I have feel like I have to defend a public school education.
carolinamom2boys: âHe is well respected by his peers, and I have been approached by many of them who have told me that he helped them get through some very hard classes .â
That is what I love to hear, and public school needs no defense by any parent. Some specific school, somewhere, dealing with some specific issue(s), sure, but the same could be said of any independent, charter, magnet or parochial school.
Less an advocate of any one type of educational model, I would like to see more of the kids given the space to take center stage and be just who they are, and have that appreciated. Not in comparison to (bright kid/athletic kid), but on the merits of having something that is uniquely them that they bring when they walk into a room/onto a campus. Quiet leadership in the classroom and within the school community is an excellent virtue, by the way, and something that is too often unheralded.
I could be an advocate of public schooling (and Iâm not con-, just more steeped in other waters as a parent) had my children had great experiences in public schools. My kidsâ public was more of a public-private, and worked hard to maintain that air. When my kids entered there were many issues that had not been brought to the fore until my arrival as parent, from the place that issued the Thanksgiving coloring and early reading handouts the school used (Bob Jones University), to the darned end of year performance line-up of songs (Away in Dixie!), to guiding principles of elementary school being a place for âmainly socialization,â where educating them can happen later(!)
Now, was I concerned about public school and the dangers rumored to lurk about? Absolutely. Moreso because of what my kid had seen in elementary, though, and those same kids would have been with him at the middle and high school level, just as assured they could say and behave any way they wanted toward someone for whom they had no particular affinity or with whom their family did not socialize. So that goes to an experiential concern that is not necessarily extrapolated to what I fear may happen in every public school, but concern for a sort of graduated disregard and ill-will that might exist for my kid as the students graduate from being little snots to bigger snots.
My D, back in 6th grade, was offered an opportunity to attend the district (public) middle school for gifted students.
She begged me not to make her go there. She wanted to attend school with her friends from grade school, and in the neighborhood. The school was across town. I didnât make her go. She went to the middle school with all of her friends. (She did participate in the gifted program at her middle school.,)
She was also placed in the gifted program at her high school before freshman year started. She didnât want to participate in that, though. because she wanted to start taking the AP courses offered to freshmen. There would have been a conflict. Now, I sometimes look back and wonder if I should have kept her in the gifted program. Some of the issues sheâs had with schoolwork during high school, I now find are classic symptoms of gifted kids. But she doesnât regret a thing, and she has, overall, had a positive high school experience at her public school.
At Dâs school, though, the band doesnât get accolades either, nor the choir or theater kids⊠Sports takes precedence over everything.
I think the Top Ten Breakfast is nice. Athletes are praised for their ability in sport - why not praise those who are inclined to do well, academically?
Although I agree that all of the kids should be praised and encouraged in their own talents and abilities.
Guess Iâm unfamiliar with the bright and gifted kids not being given recognition. My daughter thought she should have received more recognition for her character and embodying the spirit of the school mission, and was irked that they only recognized her academic abilities.
I do not know of which you speak, BeeDAre, or carolinamom2boys. Even my public school days had lots of recognition for academic standing a hundred years or so ago. And I wonder if my kids would have evinced different qualities, and hold to different ideas of themselves in the world had they walked different paths, but I donât see those different paths leading to brighter outcomes in our particular case. They still have work to do, things to grow beyond, things to take and make their own, but I think they are healthier for the experiences they have had.
Perhaps the difference is that âembodying the school missionâ is not so easily embodied in public school? The school mission is, as far as I can tell, to get them sufficiently educated and out the door. Character education is, by and large, Mum and Dadâs job.
I think the butterfly theory holds, though only to a certain extent, in child-rearing. If something were changed, the outcome might be somewhat different. OTOH, I was a much stronger adherent to nurture over nature before I had twins who were so very, very different people (and came out that way). S would be a different version of S, depending on where he went to school or what he studied or with whom he hangs out, but heâd still undeniably be himself, and not Justin Bieber or Jaden Smith.
D tested into the top tier of the 3-tier gifted program in our district as a 4th grader. It had been suggested that we do it as early as kindergarten, but she was already a year ahead, having started early, and we didnât want to send her across town to the program. But by 4th grade it was obvious regular classes werenât working. But it was a terrible mistake to move her-she was the only black kid in her class and one of only a handful in a school of 400+, that supposedly drew from our entire city. She was bullied because of it, and when she spoke up, our whole family was ostracized. It was awful. We stuck it out for one more year, hoping things would improve, and they did, slightly, but only because the program split up and D ended up in a school that also had âgen edâ kids that she knew from other places like church.
Middle school we tried parochial school and discovered that it paid lip service to differentiation, held kids back from working at their level and punished kids academically for things not related to academics, like not raising their hands the ârightâ way or not being in the straight line. We moved D in the middle of 7th grade, the minute we found out there was an opening at the school where she is now. Itâs in another district and we have to jump through hoops every year so that her âhomeâ district and her school district are in agreement on where she can go, and I drive on the crowded freeway every morning and afternoon, but itâs worth it.
Dâs school celebrates ALL the kids: the academic superstars, the leadership kids, the ones who are captains of teams at other schools (her school has no sports). The entire senior class gets breakfast with the schoolâs founder and partner (though itâs a public school) at the end of the year. And all the kids are celebrated when they graduate, whether theyâre going to auto repair school or an elite college. But itâs so much more than that-itâs hands-on, itâs letting kids move ahead if they can or get them help if they struggle. And their mission is to help kids follow their passions.
I certainly donât think itâs the only ârightâ kind of school, but the kids there pile up awards and do all kinds of great things. Yet most of them would not be considered âgiftedâ or come from homes where the parents have good educations or even speak English. D is who she is in part because of this place. She was always herself, but struggling to fit in. She didnât until she changed to this school. Itâs great to watch a kid who begs to stay home because of her schoolâs inability to connect with her blossom into one of another schoolâs top students in every respect.
But in the end, itâs all about âfitâ, Yes, in every grade. No one school, or type of school, is the answer. This was our answer. In another district, it would have been something else.
Aloha, all! I posted here many moons ago and am a long time lurker. Public school in Hawaii has not been a good fit for my D. She has ended up taking all her Senior classes at a community college as dual credit. Sheâs happy with it, but I long for her to have a more traditional experience like mine. Funny part, my husband is a high school math teacher, but itâs for Kamehameha Schools, which requires Hawaiian ancestry that we donât have.
As for the earlier discussion of being an admin assistant for college apps, I WISH! D wants to do everything herself. This Saturday she was getting gussied up and when I asked why she said she had an admissions interview with Olin. I didnât even know it was on her list. Harumph!
So, I spend an inordinate amount of time on CC, college websites, and any other info sites I can find. I dole out my new found knowledge to D but with little effect.
He did it. My son submitted his first application today. Yay!
@LKnomad It feels so good, doesnât it? That sense that they may be able to go somewhere for college!!! Getting an early acceptance back is very stress relieving as well - did your S apply to a college that makes decisions fairly quickly, or is it one that will take months to hear back from?
@palm715 an interview with Olin? Are those required? S16 will definitely apply thereâŠprobably first on his list at this pointâŠbut totally missed the memo about interviewing. I thought that was what Candidates Weekend was for?
I spend too much time on CCâŠthe occasional panic I have when I feel like we missed something important is not good for my health! I think at the end of this long journey we should all go on a retreat together⊠amidst palm trees, marguaritas, and well-deserved massages!
Well, D is definitely going to college. 
First acceptance received (only one app submitted so far). Knew she would get in, but it sure is nice to have it official.
@4kids2graduate, no itâs not required, but Dr. Nolan from admissions was in Honolulu for a regional info session and available for interviews. This was her first college interview, so she didnât know what to expect. She was energized by their conversation and now has fingers and toes crossed for an opportunity to attend Candidates Weekend.
@grlscoutmom Woohoo!
@palm715 Olin is one of very few schools visited (a year ago) while on a trip to visit D in New York during her first semester in college. S16 absolutely loved it! Very small and non-traditional, certainly a niche fit!
Glad we did not miss the memo!
@4kids2graduate We wont hear back from this one until March. It is OK though because this school has a guaranteed acceptance agreement with our school district. We know he will get in. It is the academic and financial safety.