@lvmjac1, I think your daughter and mine could be good friends 
The service oriented kids warm my heart.
WOW, @NYDad513, that is a huge honor!! I hope she gets the finalist nod!! What language will she study?
The EMT job really IS awesome! I went to a very large state college, so large it had its own police and fire department. A kid in my dorm was a certified EMT and he worked for the FD the entire 4 years of school. Sure beat most work study jobs.
I think schools determine how they want to receive scores. Some choose to get them electronically and some choose to get the scores on a disc.
@GoodGrief16 I agree that it is so heartwarming to see kids doing service for others (not because they think it looks good but because it IS good and feels good too). My D even took the tutoring she does in math, physics and even some SAT (with her friends who wanted to better their scores) and wrote about it in one of supplemental essays for a few colleges. She never mentioned it to me prior to reading it in the essay but she described how tutoring (especially in math) has given her so much more confidence in her abilities that she feels she is getting just as much out of the experience as the students she is tutoring (if not more)! That is the beauty of service to and for othersâŠyou tend to get as much from it as those you are helping.
@NYDad513 Yes my D has too had a few situations she strove for but ended up not succeeding (I hate to use the word failed because I do not believe you fail when you strive for something and do not make it). In life getting through and being successful has a lot to do with stamina and perseverance. It was hard to deal with not succeeding initially but each time she summoned her might and came back to reattempt or try something else (much like your D from what you describe). I feel that gives kids a much needed thick skin and not to only enjoy (or want) that which comes easily to them but to instead strive high and keep trying if it is really important to you. The harder you strive the more sweet the rewards when they come.
Just curious, in real life, have you all found any camaraderie with fellow parents of Seniors? In my circle of friends, most kids are staying close by and applying to 2-3 schools max. No issue with that, my older child did exactly that. However, sometimes I feel people think itâs weird that one, he hasnât decided yet, and two, that we have a list of schools. Truthfully Iâve caught a couple of eye rolls and donât really want to bring it up unless someone directly asks me now. Not a big deal, but I was just wondering if this forum is so popular because itâs less common overall to be casting a wider net either in terms of number of schools or even just geographically.
@CAMidwestMom, our S only applied to two schools, neither of them local. One is a large urban state university a couple of hours away in a neighboring state; the other is a state flagship 13-14 hours away where thereâs a large guaranteed scholarship. He says thereâs a very slight chance heâll apply somewhere else, but it doesnât look likely. Most of his friends are high achievers who are applying to several big name schools.
Congratulations @carolinamom2boys !
@CAMidwestMom Yesterday, my wife got a phone call from the mother of a senior student at DDâs school. She complained a lot about the limitation of number of applications at her school. She did not like the college list her son made and wished to add more competitive colleges (he ED Columbia). Last year, average number of application per student at DDâs school is 9.5. 8 private max is imposed by her school. So students add 2-3 public schools, which my DD also does. Many students apply hyper competitive schools and that low acceptance rate, every kids and parents wish to have a couple of more slots to apply. School asks to submit a finalized list tomorrow and it will be impossible to change the list later.
So⊠for us, no. It is hard or impossible to find someone think it is weird to have a college list.
@lvmjac1 I always have problem to sense nuance of many words. It looks a lot better to use ânot successfulâ than âfailureâ. It is a very hard for me to get it at first place, since English is not my native language. I am pretty sure I wrote many blatant replies throughout CC which is not my intent.
@CAMidwestMom most of the kids we know stay âon the rock.â Those who leave, often go to WUE schools (offer 150% of instate tuition) for partner western states. A decent number of those kids come back after a semester or year because mainland living wasnât what they expected.
The biggest amount of âeye rollingâ is from extended family. My H and I both come from families where the idea of competitive admissions and searching for the best fit seems silly. Community college or maybe the regional state school is the norm.
The best part about this community is you get to hear details about what makes each child and their path special without it turning into a one-up-manship or hurt feelings. Maybe that is harder to avoid when you have a more personal relationship?
Dâs school friends all have long and varied lists, but they attend a public magnet school on the campus of a much larger public high school. Most of the seniors of the larger school will stay local. I honestly donât have any friends that have graduating seniors as most of my âmommy friendsâ were made back when D was either an infant or just starting elementary school. Since D advanced a grade, weâve always been the pioneers. Itâs kindof lonely, to be honest. Thankful that I found you all on CC!
@lvmjac1: Donât even know which portion of your text to highlight or quote. Have to give big thumbs up to the whole of it.
@CAMidwestMom : Youâve caught a couple of eye rolls because your child is going to apply to schools outside of your area, or more than just a few? No, I have never encountered a response like that. This is just my second kid going off to college, and from what you wrote, I take it the same is true for you. Is there a big age difference between your kids? (Meaning, are we now talking about a generational difference in the choices kids are making when casting their net?)
@NYDad513, I think your posts are perfect.
We live in a mountain west fly-over state. I consider our school to be a feeder though I was once told sternly by someone with tens of thousands of CC posts that if werenât the likes of Bronx Science or Pali, we werenât a feeder. :-/ Nevertheless, I believe our school sends the most students out-of-state to competitive colleges in comparison to all the other schools in our state. Therefore, I count our school as a feeder, at least for our state. We have an optional IB program and a huge number of AP classes at our school, which draws many of those students. We also have a wonderfully vibrant neighborhood community that adds a lot to the school. Needless to say, there is a lot of economic and racial diversity. So, we have many kids who have a long list of colleges as well as kids who arenât planning on college at all. There are also lots of in betweens. I like to support everyoneâs choices, as long as they have the possibility of positive outcome for the child.
I completely agree with @palm715: I love the parentsâ forums on CC because they have a celebratory noncompetitive aspect that is hard to find elsewhere. =D> Edited to add: (And also with @Undercovermom1, who posted while I was composing!)
@Undercovermom1 I agree, finding CC has really been a good thing for me in many ways. Thanks for the responses. I am sure there are always things at play I donât know about. I try to just do what is best for us but sometimes it would be nice for people to be excited and understand, which they do here on CC, if not in real life.
@Waiting2exhale I think the eye rolls are about the number and the fact that it is seen as sort of âhe canât make up his mind.â I do have a large age gap with my kids, but I have known my local friends here for quite a while and the gap between my oldest and middle is six yrs. It does remind me that people do seem sensitive about school choices in general sometimes, like your different choice means something about them and they have to explain their decision to you. Perhaps I am doing that a bit too! Ahhhh
@CAMidwestMom We have EXACTLY the same issue in our area and circle of friends, family and associations. Most from our high school are applying to a few schools that do visits to our high school and have instant decision days. My D is in the top ten students and even in that group she is only one of 2 (my D and the salutatorian are applying to many schools and quite a few very selective either ivy or ivy like). My D is applying to 14 schools (UGH not what was originally planned but it morphed unexpectedly). The salutatorian is applying to 10-12 also. I have one friend I can talk to a little. My D says she doesnât really speak to her friends about college stuff too much because none of them are in her same league. Even family doesnât get it and thinks we are pushing our D (and our S before). What they fail to realize is that we are just following their lead. My kids go to the same elementary, junior and high school as their cousins (my nephew and my S are in same grade) and it can be difficult because my kids have always worked to be very high academically. This was not their same mentality and it may have create some pockets of resentment over the years. We actually have met many like minded families on our college road trips. When visiting two schools in the same vicinity we were having dinner at a table behind a mother and her daughter (who were also visiting the same schools) and we ended up having a wonderful conversation for quite sometime about the similarities in our kids and their sports, extracurricular and academic pursuits. We enjoyed it so much and thenâŠwe have to come home to where almost no one is similar. Itâs been tough and unfortunate. That mother and her daughter spoke about the intense level of competition among the students at her Dâs school and how difficult that is to deal with too. Neither extreme is goodâŠI wonderâŠis there any happy medium?
Thanks for sharing! I did also notice on our visits they there were kids from all over and it didnât seem unusual at all that we traveled from the Midwest to the coasts to check out a school. We are in the same boat. Son has been very driven since early elementary school. We support him enthusiastically, but he is in the driverâs seat.
We just printed out a copy of the new DRAFT 2016-17 FAFSA form. It wasnât easy to find, so I thought Iâd share.
@NYDad513 I hope you did not think I was admonishing you for your word choice? Absolutely not (sorry if that is how it came across), I am just coming from the somewhat defensive mentality in which many in our family like to use the phrase âepic failâ when something doesnât pan out the first time. That phrase and the mentality behind it would most likely produce a less of a âif at first you do not succeed, try, try againâ mentality (which if that was the thinking both of our Ds would not have accomplished the wonderful things they have!