Parents of the HS Class of 2016 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
8881

@CAMidwestMom. I could have written your post!

Even D16’s guidance counselor has been unsupportive and less than helpful. GC continually asked her “Why don’t you just apply in-state?” (which translates to: please use the specialized Apply Texas App that I am most familiar with). GC never did complete one of D16’s school specific apps because it was “too complicated” and D16 got tired of trying to get GC to get it done and ended up letting the app die (That was a $ 65 app fee and $23 worth of test scores down the drain…wonder if I can ask the GC to reimburse us that $?)

D16 was told 12 - 15 schools was too many and that she was unlikely to get in to them all anyway. Her 3 reaches were unattainable so why bother? GC’s reasoning…D16 was below the average stats listed in Naviance for other kids from her school district who had applied, although she was within the 25-75 % national average (keep in mind that these are OOS schools that maybe 5-10 kids from her school district have applied to in the past 5 years). Usually only high performing kids from her district apply OOS, D16 is an upper middle performing kiddo, so the stats are a bit skewed IMO. D16 is charting some unexplored waters with her stat range and these OOS schools. So far D16 has gotten into 2 of the 3 reaches (still waiting to hear from the 3rd).

Half of the schools D16 applied to are straight up traditional 4 year schools and half are specialty 6/7 year combined BS/DPT programs. (BTW there are no combined 6 year BS/DPT programs in the state of Texas, therefore necessitating the need to apply OOS, only the GC could seem to grasp that concept either.) So the net is wide to accommodate the uncertainty of whether D16 was going to be accepted into the specialty programs (so far 2 admits on that front!). Not going to lie years of lurking here on CC (combined with those somewhat skewed Naviance stats) had me convinced that D16 was going to be lucky to get into any of D16 favored schools. (6 acceptances so far…) So we probably errored on the side of applying to too many schools. But that was a lesson learned for D18’s college application adventure!

Peer parents can’t fathom why D16 wants too or how we can afford to pay to send her OOS. Well, because no school in TX has the BS/DPT programs. We are not Texans at heart and do not have an undying affinity to UT or A&M. As for the finances…because we have been saving money for 18 years. We drive our cars for 10 years, purchase our cell phone outright and keep them 5 years and use a low cost provider. We didn’t take 2x yearly vacations, didn’t buy a vacation home or boat like everyone else around us because we felt funding our kids education was more important than keeping up with the Jones’s lifestyle. Also we calculated that at our income level if kiddos were going to be attending college we were likely going to have to foot the bill and we weren’t willing to gamble on receiving merit aid/scholarship for academic or athletic ability.

But then again, I can’t fathom why many of our peer families feel funding or at least helping to fund their kiddos college isn’t their responsibility. Or why someone wouldn’t even want to consider an OOS school when $ wise you can find plenty of OOS school that match in-state tuition or come within a few thousand $ of matching. (I am not saying there aren’t great schools in TX, clearly there are lots). Or how uninformed many parents are about the college application process, me included. It is all relative, I guess.

Glad you have found a support system here, but I completely understand that sometimes it is nice to have some real face to face interaction on the life changing journey.

8882

@palm715 Can I come to your community? “The best part about this community is you get to hear details about what makes each child and their path special without it turning into a one-up-manship or hurt feelings.” I think that is the best attitude mostly because its true. Everyone has their special something that adds something to the mix! I do not understand why that mentality cannot translate into my neck of the woods?

8883

I am right there with you, @labegg and @CAMidwestMom! Same boat here, right from the GC who only talks about in state schools and the vast majority of parents who look at you like you have 3 heads when you say you are looking at all OOS schools! The few of us who feel this way practically have to whisper when we talk about colleges. So funny. And we, too, have been saving for this for 18 years. Nice to talk to others in the same boat. I think you nailed it when you said that you weren’t from TX originally and didn’t leave and breathe the schools there - I am in the SE now and it is the same situation here.

8884

Because D went straight from her sophomore year to her senior year, I don’t know most of the senior parents other than to say hello. But what I like about her school is that is supports ALL the kids, no matter their goals. And while I’m not sure this would be considered a good thing on CC, I do love it when the kid going down the street to the community college gets just as much applause as the kid with the full-ride selective college journey ahead of him at graduation. I think that’s sometimes a problem on this site-some people seem to think that only high achievers deserve celebration.

So far, no one has given me the side-eye for telling them how many schools D is applying to. Because the school has a “college prep room” and they post acceptance letters on the door, they’re getting used to seeing D’s name up there. We’re congratulated at school events. But I do the same with the kid going ti culinary school and the one planning on a certificate in auto repair. It takes all kinds to make the world go round.

My mom group from when D was born has been very supportive, even though D is a year or 2 ahead of them all in school. Some of them think I’m crazy for letting her go off so young, or so far, but at least no one has been mean about it.

I enjoy the support here, on this forum, but I get worried sometimes after pages worth of nonsense about “high stats kids” and “lower tier schools” and majors best left to the poor students. I think maybe D isn’t good enough to get where she wants to go or the opposite, is settling for something less than she’s capable of. Then I read her honors app for one school where she explains how she plans to become a school superintendent, and I’m ok again.

8885

@CAMidwestMom My mom doesn’t really talk with very many other parents. But my sister and I are both on paths different than our friend groups. She is going 2 hours away to culinary school, most of her friends are going to community college. I’m applying to a not well known school less than an hour away, my friends are all applying to well known colleges anywhere from 2.5 to 10 hours away. But there is still a ton of college talk in my friend group. Not so much in my sister’s.

8886

@labegg - But then again, I can’t fathom why many of our peer families feel funding or at least helping to fund their kiddos college isn’t their responsibility. Or why someone wouldn’t even want to consider an OOS school when $ wise you can find plenty of OOS school that match in-state tuition or come within a few thousand $ of matching. (I am not saying there aren’t great schools in TX, clearly there are lots). Or how uninformed many parents are about the college application process, me included. It is all relative, I guess.

I do think in my circle people think OOS = more expensive. I don’t care what anyone wants to do of course, but it does seem like a bummer to base the decision on incorrect info.

@Suzima I have made a serious effort to avoid talking about our college search at all. I only say something now if people ask me. It’s just easier that way!

PS: I consider myself pretty forum savvy, but haven’t figured out how to quote other posts yet…

8887

@readingclaygirl I am glad you both feel empowered to make the choices that are right for you. The best odds of success are when you are where you really want to be vs. being forced on a certain path or picking it because of what others think. Good luck to both of you!

8888

I want to be clear that I am not talking about elite schools vs non-elite schools. I just can’t believe the narrow-mindedness around where I live that that only school for your kid should be the big SEC in-state university. I want my son to be open minded about schools across the country that might have programs that would interest him. Most people around here don’t really feel that way.

8889

My son is definitely not the norm on CC. He is applying to all instate schools , his choice. Partly because he’s eligible for quite a bit of instate money through lottery funds and he hates to "leave money on the table "’ that he’s worked hard for. He’s only applied to 5 schools. His GC this year is very supportive and quite impressed with his knowledge and enthusiasm regarding the college search. I have one mother that I’ve gone through the process with for several years. Her son is also a high achieving kid with limited social skills that has been friends with my son since Freshman year. I will be honest. As my son has increased his rank and GPA and really closed the gap between her son and him, the communication has become more strained. I found most interactions between us been out of her convenience. For example , finding out about scholarship opportunities and deadlines, finding about course rigor of DS16 in order to request changes to her son’s schedule to make him competitive . To be honest, I’ve not been forthcoming with a lot of info because I feel that she can investigate options as well I can and it seems to be a one sided relationship. It will be very interesting when Val and Sal are identified after first semester , to see how our relationship changes.

I am so happy that I’ve found CC for support and info. I get truly excited every time I read an acceptance. I also belong to Class of 2019 thread and hope that those members become as supportive and close as the members on this thread.

8890

@CAMidwestMom our high school is small, in a small town, and most kids stay local, if they go to college at all. (A surprising number don’t.) So we have the “oh, well, yeah, Steven” factor. Kind of like he’s such an outlier they wouldn’t be surprised if he flew out the window at any given moment. (Sometimes it’s a compliment, sometimes, not so much.)
There are a couple of girls in the senior class who elicit the same response, but I don’t know their parents well. So yeah, that’s kind of part of the appeal here. There’s such a wide range of kids it’s comfortable talking about either my son or my daughter. Plus everyone on this board has just been really helpful and pleasant, which is a nice thing to discover on an online forum.
ETA: we’ve been really, really fortunate in that the kids’ GC has been awesome. This would be much harder if she weren’t.

8891

@labegg We’ve done much of the same in terms of living well below our income and saving a ton for our kids college. I get really bugged by the parents that buy their kids a really nice car but then “can’t” help them at all for college. If parents can’t pay I totally understand that but they can still give good advice and spend a lot of time helping their child find a school that is the best fit in terms of finances and what they want academically. One of my son’s close friends has parents who have said we can pay nothing for you. Mom wanted him to do a military academy or ROTC but he really didn’t want to. In the end he ended up in a ROTC style program BUT because he didn’t know he needed to fill out the scholarship app with his school app he isn’t getting his school paid for this year. So he will owe a number of years of military service after college AND has incurred $30K in student loan debt this year while going through a really rough military style training at school that was his last choice and he didn’t even get in for his major. He could have gone to 2 years of community college and worked to pay for that and then to 2 years of school while working and probably could have come through with that same amount of total debt without the military service. He had high enough stats there were a number of schools he could have gone to for free as well.

8892

Wow - I miss a few days’ reading while on a work trip, and acceptances roll in! Congrats to everyone who is getting the good news, and for everyone waiting - yup, we’re there too. S has his one “likely letter” - three more apps pending (2-3 of which are EA - depends on whether one school will let it skate in, since he applied before the deadline on the west coast, not realizing that the Common App deadline is East Coast time), two more to finish up.

The big milestone for him was getting past the UC/CSU deadline. He didn’t apply to any in-state state schools. unlike basically all of his friends and classmates. He was getting at least some pressure to “just go ahead and apply to one or two” - but he knows himself well enough to know that a big school isn’t where he’ll fit in and do well. Now that the UC deadline is behind him, he can carry on with what he knows he wants to do.

Most of our friends and family are laying pretty low. I think only his gf and I (well, and his GC and a couple teachers) know his complete list of schools. He’s perfected the art of shrugging when he’s asked where he’ll be next year.

Today’s task is on me - make sure the CSS Profile thing is sent everywhere it needs to go, and that the noncustodial profile has been completed, too. Thankfully, there’s zero controversy there - just a quick check to make sure it’s on its way.

8893

@sseamom I think it’s great she wants to be a teacher! The world needs smart, accomplished people (especially women of color) who want to mentor the next generations. And it’s a real skill. Not everyone is meant to teach others.

8894

Petrichor-I have a photo of D as a three-year old “teaching” her stuffed animals and dolls. She has ALWAYS been teaching others. I remember coming into her kindergarten class early one day and the teacher saying, “Everyone who is standing next to ‘Sseadaughter’s’ desk to ask her for help, go sit down.” There were at least 10 kids in line.

8895

@CAMidwestMom , most kids around here go to colleges within a few hours’ drive, and certain schools are more popular than others.

A few tippy-top hs grads aspire to Northwestern, U of Chicago, or UMich.
Many hope to attend UIUC, Indiana, Purdue, U of Iowa, UW- Madison…
But - there is no shame, usually, in going to the directionals. As I explained on another thread here recently, UIUC is expensive for a state school. Many cannot afford that, even with good grades and scores. The directionals are bit cheaper and B+ kids with good test scores will often get merit $ at them.

The schools in Chicago are popular with suburban kids - Loyola, DePaul, UIC…

There are also a few nationally known LACs within 6 hours drive of our area, and ALMOST NO ONE ever mentions them, or has heard of them if you bring them up:
Beloit, Grinnell, Knox, Macalester, Earlham, Illinois Wesleyan, Ohio Wesleyan, College of Wooster, Kenyon, Oberlin - these schools are not all the same in caliber of students, but I guarantee if a top student chose Kenyon or Oberlin, many folks in my area - even those who are college-educated and sending their own kids to college - will ask, “Where?”

Some people in IL have heard of Knox or Beloit - but it seems more have not.

D applied to three non-flagship state schools, and many people I talk to IRL have only heard of two - Southern Illinois U, the one in IL, and Ball State, a school on the Midwest Exchange (a lot of the MSEP schools are popular because of price and easy to be admitted to some…)
When I tell people she applied to Ohio University, they have no idea where that is, never heard of it, or confuse it with The Ohio State…

One of D’s classmates, a year older, decided to attend Syracuse. But it’s a rarity to hear of classmates going to schools farther than 8 or 9 hours away. My own family’s amazed I’m willing to let D go to Ohio U, because it’s over 7 hrs drive from us. 4 - 5 hours seems to be the limit for most.

eta: Many students around here do apply to around 6-8 schools though. I think maybe it’s because UIUC is not a safety for a B student with average test scores, and if they want a Big Ten school or flagship, they need to apply to others - but those will be expensive (or like UW-Madison or UMich, also not an academic safety…) so they also apply to a number of directionals and private schools.

8896

Anyone’s child apply to UCB? Did you get the LoR request? My son got it this morning. In a group of 5 kids at school, counting him, only one other received the request. My son is counting it as a positive since he had higher stats then the others, and he was the one to receive it. Just curious if anyone else’s DC got it as well.

8897

@laknomad D applied to UCB, but hasn’t gotten the request. When did he submit his app? D submitted hers on the 26th.

8898

@Undercovermom1 I think he submitted Sat or Sun. Can’t remember which day but about 2 days early.

8899

@Undercovermom1 did your D have ELC?

8900

My D is ELC and did not get it yet.