Just woke up to seven very different stories in this thread with one big similarity… STRESS. May 1st, please come quickly!
@labegg Funny thing is, when older step-D moved into an apartment with three friends, she ended up being the one who followed the other three around, nagging them to empty the dryer and turn off lights when they left the room! And now that she has her own place, you could probably perform surgery in her living room.
Not at all what anyone would have predicted right before she graduated high school. Our standard then was that we had to be able to see most of the floor.
I gave up fighting with D18 over the state of her room. I cannot see the floor and I can’t tell what’s clean and what’s dirty. She does her own laundry thankfully. Somehow it’s my fault she can’t keep her room clean…she doesn’t have a “real” closet (armoire instead - house is 100+ years old and nobody needed closets then), didn’t pick the right kind of furniture, she doesn’t have any “good clothes” so she has to unearth everything to find something to wear, etc, etc.
Up until HS my D16 was very neat and tidy, right around mid sophomore year, I think she was abducted by aliens and I am not exactly sure who this imposter changeling is but I want my kid back!
@RyanG1207 you’ve got me beat, I am still the laundry fairy.
@petrichor11 - you are giving me hope!!
I keep telling my DS - “I already feel sorry for your roommate”!
@RyanG1207 My D and yours must be separated twins! Her room is exactly the same as you describe and we hear very similar excuses (rooms too small, closets too small, etc., etc. My D has never been a neat freak but this is getting out of hand. She does do her own laundry BUT…where does the dirty clothes end and the clean clothes begin is a job for a private investigator! I am trying to have lots of patience (because of the stress factor) but I cannot wait until all applications are in so that part of the stress is over and we all can enjoy the holiday festivities together!
I was told once that a messy room\desk\car was a sign that the person was using all their organizational skills in other areas of their life. :-?
@Cheeringsection my dd is very organized…so that must be the reason!
All of my older kids are/were complete slobs and I gave up fighting over it. Oldest - now 24 - is quite a bit neater in her own place, but she babysat for us last weekend and did she clean up the dinner stuff, nope. Sigh. Second son, now in Army and forced to endure room checks. Hahahaha. Third, my senior, not quite as bad as the others, but at this point biding my time for the major clean up and redecorating after he leaves.
Once or twice a year, I threw everything on DD’s desk and floor in her room into a big garbage bag and left the bag in the garage for a week asking if she need anything, pick them up in the garbage bag, otherwise, I threw them out. It worked for the time being and now… don’t ask me. 
@lvmjac1 Twins! I decided with
S16 leaving next year and D18 not too far behind that I just want to enjoy this time with them at home and not fight about things like this as much as possible.
Seems like we all had different versions of the “state-of-the-bedroom discussion” last weekend. Here’s mine with D21 (that’s not a typo; I have many more years of this):
D21: I want to redo my bedroom for Christmas. I want a loft bed with a desk underneath.
EastGrad: What do you plan to do with your current bed, desk, and dresser that matches the furniture in your brother’s room, furniture which is much better quality than the loft bed you propose?
D21: I don’t know, maybe we could sell it in the classifieds?
:-S
@RyanG1207 separated twins in the sameness of their mentality sense not actual age. But I agree that there is a point where you want to enjoy this limited time left with them. That is why as much as it galls me…we keep her door closed a lot! See no mess…feel no frustration.
@Cheeringsection I would sure like to know which are of D’s life those skills are being used! It’s sure not schoolwork or her room!
@lvmjac1 I agree - same twin mentality. Yeah, I try not to look in her room as much as possible…but it’s on the way to the bathroom and the 100+ year old door doesn’t work so well these days…
Reading books for personal satisfaction over the past two weekends is also something Waiting2exit is doing. I just assumed she had submitted almost all of her applications because that is the priority right now, right? Silly Mommy.
She is reading a lot of women writers’ memoirs of the journey to being Somebody, and the lessons learned from things which seem at first like failure. She shares the parts of her reading that she has found exciting, inspiring, or flat-out amazing, and that makes me feel amazing, as she is simply not the come-closer/share-in-this-with-me/hugging kind of girl.
I did go to a graduation a few years ago out of town, where I stayed for two nights. Upon returning I think every dish and bowl was in the sink. They had not heard me enter the house, so I had a moment to decide what to do instead of run off the litany of how little they respect my house. I took out a garbage bag and threw everything in it, then took it out to the can and placed everything other the other bags of garbage.
I can’t win, though. The only other driver in the house (my husband) went and replaced everything. Not a word spoken.
That made me furious.
What are her favorite memoirs, @waiting2exhale? We need a little inspiration around here…
Count me as another parent who maintains sanity by keeping DD’s door shut. Last time I peeked, all drawers of both dressers were pulled all the way out and, I swear, every item of clothing was on the floor. I told her that wherever she ends up, she should make sure to check the box for “another slob like me” if asked to describe compatible qualities in a dorm-mate. Still, while I imagine keeping the room neat as a pin when she goes off to college, it won’t make up for how much I’ll miss her…
@Smilla Are you sure you weren’t in my house?? I often joke that if burglars broke into my daughter’s room they’d think that someone had already ransacked the place and would probably move on.
Did anyone see that episode of The Middle where someone was house sitting for the Hecht’s and she called the police because she thought someone had broken in an ransacked the house ? That’s what these stories remind me of .