@sseamom I totally understand your daughter’s point of view. For some minority kids, who have lived in “exile” in majority communities, there is something wonderful about going to a place with more of an affinity group. My sisters and I all came to the east coast for college after growing up among the very, very few Jewish kids in our small Midwest town.
Exactly, @fretfulmother. D has been in the minority in school-even diverse ones, since kindergarten and was just thrilled to be the majority everywhere we went on our tours. H has his moments of doubt since his parents moved north as soon as they hit adulthood, but he’s warming up to the idea of her being down there.
For us, the two California private schools are comparable to going to the state flagship. One is actually less on paper, but it’s a small difference. I totally agree about fit and being sensible when it comes to finances, but I admit it does make me sad when people say they want to stay in state to save money when I know they never even looked at the OOS options. Yes, it may save money, but if kid really wants to go on an adventure away from home and has good stats, there are options that are comparable to state schools. Preaching to the choir here of course, but I am surprised how many people never even look.
Promposals - possibily the most idiotic thing that this generation has come up with…seriously.
Here in Texas (and ya’ll know everything is BIGGER in Texas) the promposals, prom dresses, prom dinner, prom weekend are out of control.
Here is a common scenario at D16’s school: Guy comes up with an outrageous Promposal - so far this year we have seen the gifting of a kitten with a “I’m not “kitten” you, will you go to Prom with me?”, a banner behind an airplane and ,no joke, a Vespa wrapped up in a huge pink bow with singing telegram dude dressed as a gondola guy, very popular also is a piece of" Kendra Scott" jewelry attached to a stuffed animal. Girl buys ridiculous priced dress from designer “Sherri Hill” which costs anywhere from $600 - $1200 and registers it so no one wears the same dress. Parents arrange a beach house rental for the weekend for huge elaborate pre & post prom parties also party buses (actually not a bad idea for safety reasons, although last year a party bus from an area high school was pulled over and several student arrested for illegal substances). Some families arrange privately catered dinners and a professional photographer. I used to wonder if real people actually did those crazy sweet 16 parties that were all the thing on MTV a few years back…
The whole thing makes me want to scream. IT’S PROM NOT YOUR WEDDING (or really you could have paid for a semester worth of classes with that money).
@labegg Whoaa that’s crazy! My son made a sign to ask a girl to homecoming. I hope that’s as elaborate as it gets. Now that he has a GF, they are going to two proms and I think they agreed a promposal was silly.
Holy Cow @labegg! That’s some serious craziness!
S asked a girl to prom with a stuffed animal and a card last year . She turned him down (and kept the presents), and that was it for him with promposals. This year he has a steady girlfriend so there’s no pressure.
@labegg I had to google Kendra Scott jewelry. It’s very pretty, but I don’t spend that much on my own earrings, let alone agree to watching S spend it on a girl who may or may not take it and run.
And the Sherri Hill dresses wouldn’t fly here. Two piece dresses aren’t permitted-- no tummy skin allowed-- and no thigh high slits. Though unlike other parts of the country where it’s been in the news from time to time, our boys can wear kilts as formal wear. Almost never happens, but it’s permitted.
Wow, @labegg that’s nuts! Please tell me that the Vespa wasn’t a gift to the askee-that is was “just” booked to make the Promposal!!
Last year was the first year our prom was even an official prom not held in the school gym. The kids don’t have the money for expensive stuff, limos or anything like that. I think they paid $25 a ticket for prom and dinner, it was mostly financed by ASB. D asked a boy in her class and he agreed, but was so out of his element that they didn’t enjoy the evening much. So far this year the plan is just a group of kids going together as friends. @carolinamom2boys found a fantastic link for me for custom-made dresses that come in under $100 and D will be ordering one once the theme is decided. She can’t wear store-bought formal wear due to her measurements. Believe me, we wouldn’t spend $600 on a dress!
I think there are a few of those “Sheri Hill” and other registered designer dresses worn around here. Ridiculous @labegg I’m sure your D is above that craziness. @petrichor11 If I turned a guy down, I wouldn’t keep the gift!
There are lots of great OOS schools that offer generous merit.
My D wanted a program relatively close to home and where she could do all six years of pre-/pharmacy in one place.
We looked at some schools in neighboring states, but they were twice as far away and also OOS pharmacy tuition was much higher than IS.
U Buffalo and U Ky consider you being graduate student after the first 2 years so any scholarships there would not be as valuable. Ohio State requires a bachelor’s degree before pharmacy school so that adds 2 years.
At Pitt her merit scholarship is good for first four years (adjusts to pharmacy tuition after first two years) and she already has conditional acceptance to the pharmacy school. It doesn’t hurt that we get a nice state grant by staying instate.
I started my US life in University of Washington, moved to Clemson 6 months later, spent 3.5 years living there and moved to TX after. Now I portray white southern WOMAN persona on the web. Black, white, Jewish, blah - I want to be that southern matronly woman. 
My S14 was considering NEU. CrowDad and I thought Boston would be awesome, but he was not interested in leaving campus to explore it. So he went to Rochester instead (and has rarely left campus there). We have since started exploring the Rochester area and found plenty to do and see.
S16 is much more interested in the vibe of a place, which is partly why New Orleans calls to him. I think I’d disagree with @Mysonsdad that Nashville could be seen in a day. Pretty sure I’ve tried to do that and felt I didn’t give it a fair shake.
Promposals – yeah, they happen at our school but not so much for the nerdy set (in our experience). Even the nerds apparently ask a friend (or in our case, her mom asked his mom) if the askee would say yes before they actually ask. Or they just go in a big group. Not sure, but unlikely my S will go this year, though we have a suit we bought him last year. Tux rental seemed like a waste of money.
@mom23travelers and @chicagosportsfn It will be harder to turn a 4 into a 6 but I think we’ll give it a try! I believe we could have purchased just a tassel but my S totally forgot about it during the two lunch periods he was supposed to buy it and it isn’t on the mail order form.
@labegg I’m glad I’m not in your school district! The most outrageous I’ve seen here for promposal is quite tame (cookies or signs would be typical). Pretty sure my D who went with steady boyfriend last year did not have much of a promposal at all. It is a big thing to buy an expensive dress and the stores ask which high school you go to so they don’t sell the dress to anyone else from same school. Still, most people are spending $200-600, with a few higher.
@carolinamom2boys I may need that link @sseamom mentions in #14407 for DD16 or DD19. Sounds like a real find. Care to share more publicly?
Go on Etsy and look up Renzrags . She is in California but custom makes dresses. Beautiful dresses. Very tasteful. I like that they are American made. I wish I had a daughter.
@labegg - I had to google both Kendra Scott and Sherri Hill and the prices don’t seem to be listed for the dresses which I take as a bad sign. 
ETA - I was surprised to see that those large florals are in again.
I will say that promposals are a thing (a dumb thing) at my school, but the nerdier crowd does it somewhat lower key, with a flower and asking. Some girls do spend upwards of $1000 on preparation, dress, waxing/styling/godknowswhat and new shoes and so forth. In fact, I was shocked to learn that some girls buy new dress/shoes for each dance, and that some even buy two of each to go to things like a bar mitzvah that have a service and then a separate party. I was shocked to learn this. It seems so wasteful and foolish. And I would feel better about it if these kids earned the money they’re spending, but it’s nearly all from indulgent parents, so I’m not sure a girl really knows the value of her $800 dress, which she would if she’d earned that money from working in a lab or whatever. Well, I guess that reveals how I feel. My own wedding dress was less than $200 (about 25 years ago, but still).
The one thing I think is smart, is the “party bus” or limo, to avoid DUI.
I think things are much more low key here. Mostly signs. I knew a young man who wrote “Prom?” on his abdomen and lifted his shirt as a way of wooing his potential date. Which…ewww. lol
@texaspg, you’ve got me laughing here. I’m trying hard not to merge my old image of you with the new revelation about your identity. 
The latest trend among DD’s friends is to break up with BF or GF now, before they go to college. Even the couples that been together for a few years are not immune. With them going to different schools, they want to start fresh and lose all ties. What surprising me is why they do it now and not the natural way as a long-distance relationship what almost never work?
@crowlady, did you check online if you can buy just tassel?
With the ability text and facetime it would seem a long distance relationship is not as long distance as it used to be “back in the day.” :-c