@BeeDAre I completely understand why you would feel the way that you do. This is a timely thread as we were just talking about this this morning. 2 years ago , we bought a much larger house. My family thought that we were nuts. I did it for many reasons , one being more space , more storage and a place in the basement for my husband to build his picture framing area. The biggest reason was I want both of my son’s to always feel welcome in my home. I wanted a place that they could visit no matter how large or small their families are. We will not be changing DS16s room. It will most likely become an additional guest room, but no major changes.
Hi everyone, CC tells me there’s been over 1K posts here since my last visit, which I can easily imagine. I’m going to go back and read as much as I can to try to catch up! We’ve had a little non-school excitement here - mono. 
S hadn’t felt well for a few weeks but chalked it up to his crazy schedule and activities. On Monday I finally managed to drag him in to urgent care, they ran the blood test - and yup.
The good news - he’s apparently pretty much at the tail end of it. He stayed home all week, and seems to be good to go tomorrow, and has been cleared by his doctor. He seems to not be too concerned about the classes he’s missed, and is doing homework now. No sports, but he’s out of season and was just playing intramurals, so now that’s on hold.
I keep telling myself it’s better that he picked it up now than when he’s at college. Still - it’s been a long few weeks.
OK - now back to try to read and catch up on everyone’s news! Hope it’s been an excellent couple of weeks!
Hope your son is one the mend very soon . You are exactly right about its better that it happened now . My goddaughter caught the flu and her father ended up driving 4 hrs to bring her home to not infect everyone else and to take care of her.
Oh, @BeeDAre, what a story! I can’t “like” your post, but I can mark it as “helpful.” I am sorry that my short lines about the recommendation to keep college rooms the same if possible triggered such a memory. It is nice, however, that you are able to recognize that your parents are clueless rather than mean.
We are not planning to downsize right away either, @carolinamom2boys. Over winter break, S13 had five friends come to ski. It was close quarters with six college students, our three other kids who are still at home, DH, and me and a few pets. Lots of fun though!
That’s tough, @2manybooks, but glad to hear your son is doing much better. Here’s for a sunny and warm March to aid his healing.
Thanks, @EastGrad and @carolinamom2boys. He really is doing much better. His school uses technology really well, so he’s been able to keep up on a lot. Also, they don’t have any strict policies regarding absences for illnesses (or college visits 
) - so missing a week shouldn’t hurt anything.
I’ve read with interest the discussion about downsizing and moving. We live in a VERY expensive place - necessary for now to keep him in his school, but not sustainably indefinitely. It’s just me and him (well, and two cats) - and we rent. I’m not at all sure what to do moving forward. I’m leaning toward staying here at least through winter break, but we’ll see. But I do see from your post, @BeeDAre, that whatever I do has to be done carefully, and really be our decision, at least to some extent. He’s already moved twice, and having the stability here will probably be important during this transition.
@BeeDAre that’s awful! So sorry you had to experience that.
I am having an issue with my two D’s. One year apart. D16 has the 2nd master suite with a huge bathroom jacuzzi etc. D17 has her medium sized room, unattached bathroom but she feels like she has the short end of the stick having the smaller bedroom and having to share a bathroom when guests are in town. She wants to move into the bigger bedroom for the last year she is home, which I feel being the second child is justified. However my D16 says she will feel displaced coming home and not having her bedroom but now a different bedroom. Not sure how to resolve this one. Ugh
@greeny8 - although I’m an oldest, I believe your D17 is correct on this one. However, you should assist the girls to do the room swap when both are still in town, so that D16 can have ownership over setting up her “new” room. I don’t know how long you’ve lived in that house, but if it’s more than one year, then it’s only fair that each girl gets a turn in the good room. (Completely apart from how it doesn’t make sense to reserve the better room for someone who is there a lot less, which is not a fact I’d bring up because it might hurt D16’s feelings.)
I am the oldest of a large family, and there was no pretense of maintaining any space for me once I was gone even for my first semester at college…I still feel kind of bad about that.
D16 moved into S06 room after he got his own place after college. S06 went to commuting school so it was not a problem while he was in college. Depending on how much we have to pay for D16 college we might sell our current house and move to the different place.
S19 already has his eyes set on D16’s bedroom. It is a little larger than what S19 calls his “Harry Potter Closet”.
Very interesting topic. We too have discussed selling our home & moving.
You all have given me something to think about with regard to DS- a new house & still having it feel like ‘home.’
If my kids had their way we would never move but honestly after working all these years to save money to pay for their college entirely we kind of feel like it’s our turn to live where we want. Neither plans on going to a school even remotely near home so its not like they will be coming home for weekends and internships they get would likely be far from here. I will always be sure we have plenty of space for them and that its very welcoming (not the junk room!) but it may end up that we move at some point.
I think switching rooms is pretty common when kids go off to college. I was the oldest of 6 and was instantly replaced when I went to college. I was ok with it–I expected it so no surprise. I had shared rooms with various siblings my whole life. My kids each have their own room now. I don’t think my younger 2 will want to move–sizes are pretty similar and no other “perks” are involved. We’ll see.
@BeeDAre you gave us all a lot to think about how our actions could be perceived by our kids who’s current feeling could range from “get me outta here” to “why are you so anxious to get rid of me,” and at my house, sometimes expressed within the same conversation. Some days, it seems like every parenting choice I make boils down to emulating my parents or figuring out the exact opposite of what they would do and saving my kids one ounce of my own angst. I have no doubt I’m still not getting it right.
@2manybooks D had mono the fall of her Sophomore year. Other than honing her Sleeping Beauty impression, in hindsight it gave her more understanding of the importance of saying “no” when she feels overwhelmed. Also, that when you need help, it may surprise you how many people are willing to smooth the path. I wish your son quick and permanently healing.
D16 just filled out her first 1040(ez)…her comment - whoever designed this system should be fired. Lol, another welcome to adulthood moment!
D18 just did junior year course selection. Taxes and classes did not make for a fun weekend.
No plans to change location here as we have a D20. I would be surprised if she wants D16s room, but if it comes up at least I now have some perspective on how both might feel about it and will not make any snap decisions. My parents did move while I was at college but there were so many other things going on in their lives that I knew it was no reflection on their feelings for me. I was established in my own apartment by then anyway so “home” had already shifted to there in my mind.
I do hope that DS will bring some friends home at some point. That sounds like a lot of fun! Knowing “the guys” is something I will miss.
He did decline admission at two schools today. He is getting closer to committing. 
My own example is kind of extreme, I know, what with my parents not even clueing me in that they were even considering moving - and I doubt most people here would handle it this way! But just in some crazy case, someone is, thought I’d state my own case and experience!
Fwiw, I was actually fine with my sister dictating the decor and furniture - except for the double bed, and I think she just didn’t think about it, she was 15. My mother did not, either, she was kind of scatterbrained sometimes about stuff like this. Yeah, they were just being clueless, but it still hurt. I think the thing that really stung was that there was NO PLACE designated for my stuff anymore.
As for downsizing, we already live in a small house - D is my only one, and her sister, my stepD, is 13 years older and lived primarily with her mom. The house is 3 bedrooms, one story, and pretty much the size of your average townhouse or condo… starter house. When we paid it off and realized we’d have no more children, we decided to stay and save for retirement, travel, and D’s college. So, we’re probably already in the house we will retire in - or that’s the plan. We’re in a very convenient location, too, close to two major interstates, close to the airport for travel…
DH took over the third bedroom long ago as his own hobby space, and he has some stuff in the family room, too, which used to be primarily D’s toy and play room.
My desk is currently in the dining room, and I am actually thinking of moving it into D’s bedroom after she graduates college, and gets a stable job and her own place - years from now… I still want to have a bed in there, though, for guests or when she wants to come home. If we end up with grandkids, we can change the twin sleeper in the family room to a double sleeper/futon maybe.
I keep having this image that I am teaching DS to ride a bike all over again. When we started this whole prices I had to hold that seat and run along side the whole way. Now when we talk about college or go on a visit, I can let go a little sooner and he rides away with more confidence each time. In roughly 6 months he will hop on that bike and ride away without me holding the seat at all. There may be a few wobbles here and there. I may still be needed to put air in the tires or deal with some other maintenance issue occasionally but I will have done my job of teaching him how to ride that bike. We both will have accomplished something. I can see the way there, from here.
We are in trouble @Cheeringsection DS16 never learned to ride a bike. 
Yay/Boo and all those other mixed feelings for adulthood @labegg Yay for getting closer to a decision @Cheeringsection
@carolinamom2boys maybe it is time he did! I hear there are adult classes
Oh, and I failed to mention that DS learned years after most of his friends. DH tried to teach him by letting go of the bike on a hill. Needless to say, I was much more involved in this process from the very beginning.