@sbjdorlo I found it interesting that your son does not want to return to California. This was something my H and I were discussing if she will want to return to California after graduation. Where do most kids from MIT end up geographically?
@Ballerina016, that is a really good question! I honestly donāt know. I think there are so many factors. Some kids like my son and fiancee donāt go to grad school, but others do. I am sure MIT keeps stats on this sort of thing. I bet you can dig around and find out post-grad locations.
My son was offered a very lucrative position at the company in Boston where he interned for two years (data science), but in the end, they wanted to start a new life together in a, for them, more family friendly (cheaper!) place. I am excited that they will be only a 5 1/2 hour drive from me. Better than a day long flight, ha-ha.
Oh, and I guess Iāll add one more thing about college choice. For my son, choosing MIT was almost 100% about the people (though location and size were plusses). He loved the energy of the campus, and just really loved the people he met when visiting. Because heās such an extrovert, it really was a huge deciding factor. He connected to more people there, and to see just how much heās enjoyed his time and to see all the wonderful friends he has, is to know that he chose well. I know my middle sonās experience will be nothing like that since heās an introvert, and he doesnāt like the location of his schoolā¦ 
I am just hoping he makes a few good friends!
@JustOffTheBoat, if the LAC is comfortable for your son, maybe he could do study abroad in Scotland?
I know nothing about transferring, but my D would lose the scholarship that makes her school affordable, so there is that.
Congratulations on your sonās success and best wishes to both of them.
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@JustOffTheBoat ā My son is headed to Amherst, so I REALLY understand your concerns about the claustrophobic SLAC. But size is relative. My son goes to a private high school with about 85 kids at each grade level. My guess is that your sonās school canāt be much bigger. So an SLAC with 1800 or 2000 kids will still be big by comparison. I went to an LAC with 2400 kids ā At the end of four years I felt that I recognized most of the kids walking around campus, but I was still meeting kids in my own class (whoād been there throughout) that Iād never met. And I donāt think that one could exhaust the educational opportunities at the small LACās. So Iām not sure that the size is the issue.
I donāt know which SLAC your son is considering, but my āclaustrophobiaā concern about Amherst is its geographical isolation. There are other schools around the area, but my understanding is that the Amherst kids really donāt go over to the other campuses all that often (donāt know if this is entirely accurate). But some of those other New England SLACās are even more isolated. However, for my son the option of easily going to a nearby (real) city and having a good meal out, listening to some music, or wandering around wonāt be there. I think thatās a loss.
I am convinced that at these SLACās the absence of graduate schools/students, and the total focus on undergraduate education is a huge positive piece. My sister is a tenured professor at a pretty prestigious New England university, and she has often told me of pressures that university professors face that LAC professors do not, i.e., research/publication, lecture tours, grad students, fellows, etc. She says itās easier to succeed even if youāre a poor teacher at a university than at a small college. Obviously one can get a fantastic education at a university (including my sisterās!), but your point about your son getting lost at a large flagship is well-taken. He probably could choose to get lost at a SLAC too, but itās not unlikely that heāll find a professor who takes an interest in him and who genuinely likes him. Thatās very validating. He might even learn to enjoy his interactions with adults as he becomes one.
Welcome, and please keep us all posted.
Finally, regarding Scotland: This first half of this Robin Williams video is about Scotland, and the Scottish origin of golf. Warning ā hide the younger children, as his language is, shall we say, a bit crude. But I always think of this routine of his when Scotland comes up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcnFbCCgTo4
Can we talk insurance? Is it preferred to take the collegeās health plan or opt out since DC is already covered under our plan? Does it vary from school to school or state to state? I donāt have any idea how this works
@Undercovermom1 ā We paid for the universityās health plan for S14ās freshman year. Our concern was that our insurance company (Anthem/BC) was the one company with which the universityās health services was NOT contracted. So we worried that it could be a hassle for him to be seen there (even though we wouldāve dealt with all the bills and EOBās).
It turned out to be a waste of close to $2,000 (my memory of the amount). The one time that S14 actually needed to use the schoolās health service their performance was sorely lacking. He wouldāve been better off going to a nearby urgent care center.
Youāll no doubt get information from the school regarding their health insurance vs. yours. Certainly if theyāre āin-networkā for you and/or youāre with a major carrier (where access to local non-university associated care wouldnāt be an issue) you should probably stick with your current family plan. Being in a different state shouldnāt be an issue.
(As I manage my own medical practice and deal with insurance companies all the time (including those out of state) feel free to PM me down the line if I can be helpful once you have more specifics).
On reason weāre relieved D16 is heading for a college in our metro area is that we donāt have to buy school-based medical insurance. Also, she can keep all her current providers. The required medical insurance at OOS schools was just too high-priced for us. That, and the premium for R&B at the coastal school.
@critter We were finally able to see Stanfordās financial aid. Pretty much the same as MIT, minus the small loan, which as my S pointed out, will be a wash when you take into account cost of traveling to CA v. MA. We were hoping that financial aid could clarify things a little more, but weāre back to square one.
@AsleepAtTheWheel I shared your input with my S. He really appreciated it.
@carolinamom2boys Hear you. You donāt want to push them in an specific direction. Weāre just trying to be helpful.
@kittymom1102 thank you so much! Very kind of you and yes, we are happy with the options he has! UMD College Park with the Banneker Key is winning so far I think but still waiting for the visits to Cornell, GA Tech, Rice and CMU and the decisions on March 31st (particularly UPenn which is dear to him for several reasons). UMD with all the programs he got into (honors college, gemstone and BK community) is comparable to an ivy league in terms of quality and resources to support him----especially because heās going to continue with a masters/PhD program, that is his goal. It will be completely free for him and close to home, so itās hard to beat thatā¦
@AsleepAtTheWheel hello from a fellow physician here! My former mentor is now the dean of the medical school at Stanford, a great place, and if there is a possibility to switch to medicine after engineering, it canāt be beat!
However, I think @kittymom1102 's son has his heart set on MIT and it seems that heās sure about his MechE vocation, so that should be a great fit for him and also closer to his home than CAā¦
@kittymom1102 ā You know of course that some of my note was tongue-in-cheek. Obviously either choice will be a good one, but I know which way Iād push if it were my son. Another way to view it is that regardless of how successful he is, heāll never be able to afford to live in California as an adult, so he might as well check it out as a student.
On the topic of pushing, my son had a choice between Amherst and one of the Claremont colleges. We pushed for the Claremont option. It did us no good. Unfortunately for us he had a rational and reasonable basis for his decision.
Congrats again!!
@ReminiscingDad Your S has definitely done his homework and knows what he wants. Good for him ! ! !
You are very insightful person, @ReminiscingDad
I agree with you. My impression is that Sās heart is at MIT. He is obviously very excited and honored by Stanfordās acceptance but MIT feels more like him. He loved the campusās vibe during his recent visit. This past Thursday, he attended a student gathering here in town and liked his fellow prospective students a lot. According to him, the kids were ānerdy-cool.ā Judging by how hesitant he is about making the trip to Stanford, I think he is just not into it as much as he is into MIT.
The main reason behind his excitement for Stanford is that he is the first kid in his school history to be admitted there. He feels he will be taking one for the team if he goes to Stanford. Not a good reason, if you ask me, but heās just a kid and heās reacting to his classmates and teachersā excitement.
Kids who need to fly - need to be prepared to spend 5-10 hours easily for travel.
D flew from Houston to San Jose or SFO and most of the time direct or with one connection. The flights were invariably delayed and even with direct flights, the travel time dorm room with 2.30 hr earlier pickup and 4-7 hr flight time + getting home is 8-12 hours. Last two direct flights she took, she boarded and one flight stuck around for an extra 1.30 half and another went back to gate to drop off someone who got sick before take off for almost 2 hour delay.
I was talking to someone whose kid flew from Houston to Philadelphia for school and she said every winter the flights got delayed or cancelled to be rescheduled due to bad weather.
@sbjdorlo - is the second S starting school this year and belongs with this group now?
@ReminiscingDad ā Not debating or invalidating the conclusion, but how many 17 or 18 y.o.'s can be sure of their vocation? Iāll take heat for this, but Iād say ānone.ā
@texaspg ā Flying is now simply another form of mass transit. Weāve had a bit better luck than you, but I cannot overstate the frequency of delays or cancellations when either my S14 or one of us is flying cross-country to meet up, and itās always a non-stop on a major carrier. A key concrete lesson ā NEVER book the last flight of the day.
@kittymom1102 thank you, as you know, MIT was my sonās dream and if he had had the option he would have also chosen it. However, H and I always thought he wouldnāt be a good fit thereā¦
@AsleepAtTheWheel fair point! I would say very few 17 or 18 y.o. are sure of their vocationā¦and one could also make the point that even when theyāre sure, itās good to be exposed to other fields to see if thereās an interestā¦
thank you for your thoughts
Here to disprove your theory @AsleepAtTheWheel . This girl knew her āvocationā at 14 and has been practicing in that field for over 30 years. I agree that itās not common , but is possible.
@carolinamom2boys thank you for your posting about dealing with mental illness issues in loved ones, very thoughtful and helpful post! sometimes thereās some denial and some belief that itās just a short term condition and/or that is it readily āfixedā with some treatment in a short period of time.
@crowlady about UMBC I have to say it has great research opportunities (maybe easier to get than at College Park, especially freshmen) and a lot of support from professors who are helpful with preparation for a masters or medical school. If they do well, students get a lot of attention from prestigious medical schools (Hopkins for example).
@carolinamom2boys I was myself that girl! Since age 14 I wanted to be a physician and here I am, enjoying my vocation still!
@ReminiscingDad your patients are very lucky. Out of all professions I think it is critical that doctors and teachers love what they do for living.
ā Youāre the exception that proves the rule.
ā I already knew that you were one in a million!!
In all seriousness, I think itās wonderful to have a passion and a direction, but I get concerned that kids may be limiting their career (and life) options when they choose or are forced to choose a committed pathway so early in their schooling. Thereās a big difference between being interested in something and studying it. And although it varies depending on the field, thereās an even bigger difference between studying something in college and doing it out in the real world. Unfortunately the competitiveness of todayās career market and the structure of many of the undergraduate programs force kids into these decisions earlier than is truly appropriate.