@JustOffTheBoat, and if finances are not a worry he could always transfer, right?
@crowlady We were less than enthused with our professional pic for the yearbook , especially considering the cost. My neighbor is a photographer and she will be doing some âinformalâ location pics.
@bookmom7 I donât think that attending the overnight accepted students weekend necessarily is a bad thing and indicates more indecision . DS16 attended one with the sole purpose of comparing it to his number one choice , and to clarify that he truly was making the right choice , so he wouldnât have a âwhat ifâ moment later on. Hope it gives your son clarity as well.
Iâve never entertained the idea of MIT as a be-all-end-all institution for anyone, as that does sound rather ⊠absolute and rules out the possibility that those students might ever have thrived and grown at other wonderful institutions, in programs suited to their interests and capacities.
I think the sense of a rabid push to be an MITer indicates an unhealthy expectation which could lead to unhealthy outcomes. If I am misunderstanding something about what has been said here, please let me know.
The differences in being on either coast cannot be understated, nor can the differences in the makeup of the origins of the student body, one to the other (Stanford to MIT). Anyone who would like to see a change from palm trees, ocean breeze (well, you can get it, itâs not like Stan is on the water), with aspirations of easy-life-easy-smiles-easy breezy, would certainly embrace the indisputable cement and car horn, meet the stranger next to you, jay-walking, change of weather metropolitan environment of MIT. No value judgments on either environment, so donât try to hit me with that, just looking at it from being in it. It is d i f f e r e n t.
There is no doubt that our kids are more open to change and adjustment at this time in their lives than they will be at any other. They want to uproot and leave home, they want to establish self out in the world, they want to find new friends and embrace the challenge of digging deep.
Geographic and social change can have significant impact on a personâs ability to adjust, but most of the kids are ready.
What the university offers in terms of how well suited it is to your kidâs strengths, long-known foibles and personality traits, are paramount to keeping in consideration when supporting your child in making this decision. And itâs not just what youâve seen and always recognized in your kid which are determinants of how you help support your kid to choose, but what youâve heard your child say they want over and above what you may have noticed is present in their lives right now. They may want to be bigger than they have been/have been allowed to be.
Itâs great when a child and family have enormous opportunities for the next stage, but they are the player on that stage, and that aspect of how things play out is central to the success of this mission.
Good luck to all.
Congratulations on all the good news to all! And even if some are disappointing, it seems that everybody has great choices anywayâŠ
We just heard about the two schools decisions that were pending (my son did not apply to any West Coast university since distance would be an issue for him). He got accepted at Rice with the Trustee Distinguished scholarship and a grant on top of that, which makes the offer close to that of UMD. Today he also got the good news from Carnegie Mellon, accepted to the College of Engineering and Sciences. So, we have heard from all the schools he applied to except from 3 ivies he applied to and weâll hear from on March 31st (we heard from Cornell already in LL). CMU financial information is not available yet, has anybody got it? Georgia Tech financial aid will be available by mid-April, the letter says. Good luck to all! Thank you for your cheering and supportâŠthe wait is almost over and weâre enjoying a taste of Spring this weekend in the DC metropolitan areaâŠ
@carolinamom2boys Yes, same situation here. I couldnât see paying jacked up prices for mediocre stiff photos with a bad haircut. Fall was too busy for me to research options. About a month ago I contacted some people with online portfolios â prices were more but the photos were beautiful.Then I saw in our neighborhood Facebook group that a journalist/event photographer was willing to do senior portraits. He doesnât specialize in them but knows the local spots for outdoor photos and is offering us a neighborâs discount. I donât know him but he seems interesting and my son might relate better to him than someone who mostly photographs aspiring models! If it doesnât produce good photos we can go to plan C.
@Waiting2exhale My S is deciding among three different coasts (East, Gulf, and West). We live in the East (though far south from the school heâs considering, which isnât on the coast actually), he thinks heâd like to go to the Gulf, I think heâs a good fit for West coast.
@mysonsdad - your RD numbers are right. However, H has always tried to show superiority over S by admitting a lot more early and their RD numbers have been running around 3.2% or so.
@Ballerina016 You remind me of me 4 years ago when I forced my D to apply to Caltech/MIT/Chicago early since it gave 3 shots vs one. She got into first two and lost interest in writing any essays for other schools! After a whole bunch of ivy waitlists/reject bloodbath on March 31st, S was on April 1st at 5 PM when she made it. I wish I was as forceful with the younger one since she had a really good shot at P SCEA and knowing S was still a crapshoot. I can tell you that it really wouldnât have mattered what you did with S since they admit something like 500-550 pre picked kids for sports and other institutional priorities in the early round and so donât second guess.
@kittymom1102 - S is a golden ticket to disneyworld. I told my D no point visiting schools in April since she would pick S and she was offended, diligently visited Caltech/Columbia/MIT and finally S and came home with S.
Reminds me of my Dâs pictures. She said everyone gets fall pictures, she wants winter ones. But there never seemed to be time or no snow or sub-zero temps, then in spring she was really busy and started working too.
So she finally got them taken by a family friend one week before she graduated, better late than never, but they turned out very nice.
@critter â We say at work that you can tell who the Raidersâ fans are, because they have more hair on their face than on top of their heads.
@Ballerina016 â Donât confuse higher ED admit rates with the chances for any specific kid to be admitted. A lot of the kids admitted through ED at any of the highly selective schools have a strong specific hook â theyâre recruited athletes. they play the bassoon, theyâre quadruple legacies whose families have donated a million dollars. They apply ED knowing that theyâre in. So those ED admit rates are high, but for the non-hooked kid theyâre not much different than the RD admit rates. Your advice to your daughter not to apply to Stanford ED did not adversely affect her, at all. Donât beat yourself up over it.
@JustOffTheBoat â Iâd have to imagine that unless heâs really really sure that he wants to go to Scotland, it should be off the table. Itâs far away, the winters are cold and dank, and itâs a set up for buyerâs remorse unless he heads off there totally enthusiastic and positive that itâs the place for him.
The other schools are so different from each other that my guess is that their student bodies must be quite different from each other. When heâs visited the schools (or at upcoming Admitted Students Days) does he get a feel one way or the other that these are âhis kidsâ? Any difference between the schools in the strength of his likely majors? Is he the type of kid whoâs fearless in terms of meeting professors, seeking out opportunities, and making his own breaks (large flagship type) or is he a kid whoâd benefit more from smaller classes and a much easier pathway to connect with faculty (SLAC)?
@kittymom1102 @critter â As someone who went to college and medical school in the Boston area (including one of those at H), whoâs now lived in northern CA for a few decades (but still visits the Boston area a couple of times a year), and who knows a number of kids at both MIT and Stanford, it would be an easy call â Stanford. Yeah, yeah, everybodyâs different, but the answer is still the same â Stanford.
Howâs that for not being bashful to give a firm (unsolicited) opinion?
Very helpful and encouraging indeed, @labegg. And how exciting for him to be abroad (if far from his bereft parents). Heâs already at a boarding school in the NE and has learned to manage himself well enough, so the lack of hand-holding might not be an issue. I canât help feeling that the small, liberal arts college option has appealed to him because it feels similar to his beloved boarding school. I fear he might outgrow it within the four years.
First of all, SUPER-DUPER CONGRATS @ReminiscingDad <:-P <:-P <:-P <:-P <:-P
Wow! ! ! Your S has amazing options 
That Rice offer sounds awesome! So happy for you and him =D>
@texaspg I really donât know which school he will pick at the end, but I understand his reservations concerning distance and Stanford. I thought about it a little bit and it would easily be at least 10 hrs of travelling from the moment he leaves our house to the moment he arrives on campus, ouch! I totally understand his hesitation.
Had he not gotten into MIT, Stanford, with all the sacrifices it entails, would have been the best option. Fortunately MIT is an option and a simpler one to that.
We are really encouraging him to go to check out Stanford. Above everything, we want him to make the most informed decision he can make. Iâm afraid that our âencouragementâ to visit Stanford comes across as a preference to him. Nothing could be farther from the truth. We only want him to gather as much info as possible.
As long as he is happy, Iâll be happy
@critter Thank you for the good advice about the FB pages. Iâll push DS to that tonight while he is watching basketball. The NCAA tournament has taken on an almost obsessive quality this year as Sâs diversion from thinking about college.
@kittymom1102 Exactly. My son had the same misconception that I preferred other schools over his top choice because I wanted him to visit his choices to make an informed decision, not an emotional one. Once he realized that, he relaxed and was able to make a decision .
My son has decided that heâs mediocre by âgoodâ schoolsâ standards because heâs been wait listed at Stanford, Claremont McKenna, U of Chicago, and Amherst, even though heâs been rejected NO where and accepted at Berkeley, UCSD, UCSC, USC, and Occidental with a healthy merit scholarship. Two questions: Does he have any chance at his remaining schools, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Brown, Vassar? Also, I am figuring that his diversity status is his fatal flawâŠwhite, upper middle income, parents have masters degrees, and Californian. Iâm happy with this, actually, but do you think itâs true?
@AsleepAtTheWheel Thank you for this. The small LAC seemed to fit like a glove on all counts. But maybe that was because it was just like DSâs boarding school. His tour guide and he could chat about students they both knew whoâd graduated from DSâs prep school. Comfortable now for an eighteen-year-old, but claustrophobic for a 22-yr old? DS flies under the radar, completely the opposite of those who are fearless about meeting professors etc. So the large state school appeals to him because he imagines being able to avoid too much interaction with adults. But there is a real danger that heâd become completely invisible. Perhaps still more time to gain confidence in speaking up in a LAC might be a good idea. That said, he is a quietly self-confident student, steady and adaptable, so Scotland is still an option.
@mommdc Promise me that parents are not involved in the process in any way whatsoever should their DC decide to transferâŠ
@critter, good to see you here, and I know all your comments will be super helpful to those deciding!
Re. Stanford and MIT: Well, our son did not apply to Stanford; he was just not interested enough to finish the application, and we are in California. So, there are actually kids in California who donât apply there.
Also, in regards to the comments about MIT being a be-all-end-all: I definitely see that from a lot of posters here on CC, but that wasnât our experience.
My son didnât even have MIT on his list until September of senior year. He thought he didnât want a STEM school, and I certainly didnât want him applying to MIT (for personal reasons), particularly because it was across the country. But, after MIT flew him out for their WISE program (Weekend Immersion in Science and Engineering-for low income, first gen, and/or URMs), he wanted to apply. Even after getting into 10/10 schools, he took until the end of April before deciding on MIT. He was also considering one of his safeties, UTDallas, because of the McDermott Scholars Award.
Probably the best thing my son did was not to be attached to any college during the application process. We went into the process with very low expectations since my son was homeschooled/dual-enrolled and we werenât sure what to expect. It made for a low stress application season.
Critter is right when she says historically Stanford, Harvard and Yale give better financial aid than MIT. And actually, in my sonâs case, Vandebilt was the most generous (he won a full tuition scholarship, but was awarded 13K in need-based aid on top of that-unreal!) followed by Caltech. However, Critter is also right when she says if you have outside scholarship, MIT can work out. My son very fortunately has a yearly outside scholarship, so MIT has been cheap for us thanks to my sonâs hard work and MITâs strong need-based aid/outside scholarship policy. We are extremely grateful to MIT.
My son loved attending school in Boston and actually didnât apply to any schools in California except Caltech and Harvey Mudd. He and his fianceeâ (theyâll be married in June) also did not consider living in California after they graduate college in June. (But they also decided not to take job offers in Boston, either)
@crowlady you did not miss it as I have not posted specifics. I likely will at a later date.
You are welcome to count on me as cruise director. I am just trying to be helpful, wherever I can.
@NanciB, while there is some truth that extremely high performing URMs (in the case of my oldest son) do very well in admissions in general, there are obviously plenty of white, upper middle class students that get into highly selective colleges. In fact, I would put out the case that full pay students definitely have the edge at certain colleges (such as WUSTL).
To give you a little hope, my middle son, who is white (we, the parents are white, from California, and I am college educated) and who was not a top candidate, managed to get into an Ivy League. I have no idea how, to be honest. He had a good SAT (2200+) and a couple of 700+ SAT IIs, but didnât have perfect grades, had no AP scores (though had some college classes), and had a rather weak transcript. He applied to 23 colleges (!) since again, being homeschooled/dual-enrolled and having a weaker application made all bets off.
He was admitted to 16, waitlisted at 3, and rejected by 4. He had a lot of safeties on his list, and he knew nothing about prestige at the time of applying. He wanted only to find a college we could afford. He got into exactly one highly selective college, but in the end, he was choosing between a school that admits 80%, a school that admits 35%, and the Ivy.
I would guess his music supplement (strong, but not prodigious by any means) and his animiation supplement (weak, but showed potential) helped as did his âstoryâ (diabetes, LDs).
I work part time as a college consultant and I can tell you that admissions can see very crazy and random (I felt the UCs this year were particularly hard to figure out this year), but have had plenty of upper middle class white students get into at least one highly selective college with less than stellar stats.
I would encourage your son to get on the waitlists of the schools heâs interested in, and then continue to demonstrate interest in those schools. Go visit even while on the waitlist! (But first check to see if the schools historically have taken kids off the waitlist) I worked with a student last year that went to visit a top school of choice while on the waitlist, and was eventually admitted.
Re: Pictures. I donât know if you all have Groupon & if this deal is national but it is worth checking out- they are currently offering a coupon for Shutterfly -amounts to 50% off.
You can create an amazing grad announcement with those pictures when they are done.
So many pages to sift through! Congrats to many of you on AMAZING acceptances! What stellar students we have on this forum! I am not worthy ^:)^
To those facing disappointments-Iâm sorry your kiddos are hurting. Even with many other options, any rejection is bound to sting.
I posted our journey on @Cheeringsection 's thread. I donât know how helpful it will be to anyone, since CC isnât a place, it seems, where too many kids are looking at HBCUâs (though D did apply to and get into Temple). However many people are reading this website, Iâm not sure how it matters if they figure out who any of us are. Iâve left more than enough breadcrumbs for anyone with a brain to follow, and havenât had any problems.
For @JustOffTheBoat and others with students mired in indecision, we made a pro/con list. It was VERY helpful to see written down in black and white, what made one school attractive vs. another. Though ultimately D chose the school sheâd been keeping hovering at the top of her list, the pro/con confirmed that for her.
As for MIT vs. Stanford or anywhere else-I have shared this before-my ex turned down MIT for a state flagship-not even his own. His reason had nothing to do with the school, only that he wanted to be able to continue skiing in the Rockies on easy trips home or in the Cascades on the West Cost, near his college. He was a CS major. Heâs worked at some of the most prestigious software companies out there, and thereâs a good chance youâve all used software heâs worked on. My point is that if your student doesnât choose MIT, theyâre hardly going to be second class. Those of you with kids accepted to these fine colleges will move mountains no matter where they go.