AP Calc Struggle Son Symposium members: I am presently in an email war with my husband, who feels I am not doing enough to address the struggle with both the son and the teacher. Ugh. Current grade is a B-, which I think is fine. TacoHusband, on the other hand, is an MIT grad and has slightly different standards and expectations. (And no, having TacoHusband tutor son is out of the question. Has a father helping with math EVER had a good outcome?)
@tacocat333 I had this EXACT conversation with my H not that long ago. He is frustrated that E1 (eandesmom means 2 E’s so eandesmomson is redundant) will not ask him for help. Um yeah, his first stop is to tell the kid to look in the book (as if he didn’t already) and to do practice problems (as if he didn’t already). It’s insulting frankly. I wouldn’t ask him for help either. Only once S has “proved” he’s tried everything on his own does he actually hellp. Which never seems to help. It didn’t go well with SS11 (but my H has very selective memory on that one) and isn’t with S17. SD14 was a different story, she got a much nicer response…because she is a girl!
We are having our own drama. His calc notebook has been missing since thanksgiving. He is convinced that I moved it, cleaning for the holiday and it’s all my fault. I may have moved it, true, but to only about 3 spots and all have been searched ad nauseum. I do not EVER throw anything homework related away without checking. Most of what I moved was stuff from last spring! Which was easily found. So he can’t go back and look at his notes and is missing some homework that was in there. He currently has 6 missing assignments and while he’s still holding his B he apparently did poorly on a test last week (that isn’t showing yet but he had a hard time studying for due to the missing notebook). I am super frustrated he isn’t dealing with the missing stuff (at least that I can see and we get in a fight if I bring it up) as regardless of a missing notebook or not, it’s leaving points that he can ill afford to lose, on the table. Definitely worried this test will bring the grade down. I can live with a B but I do have to admit, I don’t want anything lower on his transcript if at all possible!
@eandesmom, I apologize but I am cackling, seriously cackling, over the claim that you moved the notebook. I had this EXACT conversation with both TacoSon and his little sister over the weekend. Because clearly I am the root of everything missing! And I routinely throw away things that look official, useful and important. But I stand in sympathy with the real plight, the missing notebook. And in smh over a spouse “helpfully” stepping in!
In our testy email exchange, my H was saying there needs to be a consequence for not working hard enough. Sadly, the threat of dad’s help is probably the best consequence out there.
@eandesmom As her teachers said, it is not handing things in and then grades dropping because they are late when she does hand it in. She is also taking an online AP Psych course which I knew was not a good choice but we didn’t really have any choices. She tends to test well with an occasional low test grade but for the most part all of her teachers know that she can get A’s. I just touched base with her today and she has been in touch with admissions counselors via text so she is being responsible on that front. She also told me that she might throw in UNCG as a safety because it is close and it does offer Russian. She would probably want to transfer but if she knocks it out of the park the next couple of months and proves that she can do the work then we will see what happens. I was really hoping to get some results by now but I am feeling good that she is taking more of a proactive approach.
I understand with the overwhelming schedules of seniors. I try to check in and text her with what needs to get done. I pretty much laid the groundwork for her with schools. I did the initial research while she was away based on her interests and then she researched further. She has taken on so much since returning from Croatia. She turned 16 in May, returned home after 10 months, started driving, got her license, and started working at Starbucks while babysitting and petsitting, all within a few months of returning. I hope that colleges will see that she really has had a full plate. If she can pull those 70’s up to 80s after vacation and maybe a few 90s, I think she has a good shot, It is just nerve wracking!
I know what the roller coaster ride is like. I can completely relate to the missing calc book. My son that is in 8th grade does this often. I can only imagine what it is going to be like with him. He was told he can take 10th grade math over the summer so he could be in Math III (is that what it is now, I forget lol?) for his freshman year BUT he is “forgetful” and often misses assignments so the only way he can advance is if his teacher gives him a recommendation.
@eandesmom If he is open to Jesuit schools take a look at St Louis University. You might get enough merit to bring it right to $40K
I’m still firmly a member of the AP Calc Struggle Son Symposium! S17’s 2nd quarter progress report is out–it’s kind of like a midterm review for the quarter, the grades dont show up on transcripts, but it gives parents & students an idea of how things are going, and gives time for corrections before quarter grades come out. He had a low B last quarter, and for this quarter he’s currently sitting at a C, Uggh! The teacher’s comments say, “… is missing a lot of homework, his quizzes and tests are ok.” Double-Uggh! And he pretty much refuses homework help form DH & me, saying we “don’t do it right.” Nevermind our combined PhD and MS in engineering plus the fact that we managed to get S15 through AP Calc homework, where his homework grade actually IMPROVED his grade… Let’s hope E1, Tacoson, and my guy all pull it together…
@mackaterinasmom It sounds like she has a ton of stuff on her plate right now, and she’s just trying to figure out how to juggle it all. These kids want to do it all, but sometimes just need to let something go. I hope the meeting opens her eyes, it sounds like she’s fully capable of doing the work, good luck!
@MSU88CHEng, my kid is good about turning stuff in but test scores aren’t great. Can we perhaps combine our Struggling Sons to create the perfect AP Calc student?
I’m shaking my head at today’s mail. We were waiting for an EA decision from my alma mater, for which TacoSon is more than qualified. Admissions indicated packets were mailed on Friday. We are local to this university, so figured it would be today. No big envelope, but I DID get a shiny card asking for alumni donation. Seriously?! Admit my kid (with enough aid, natch; it’s a no-go without the aid) and I’ll be gifting you with lovely TUITION! Silly school. So now I just wait for the Case Western decision at 8pm (which is probably a no).
@mackatarinasmom I have a son who tests well and struggles with turning stuff in. Often though I find, upon probing, there are actually other issues beyond disorganization and not taking the “late” penalties seriously enough going on. He does get easily overwhelmed on the organization side so I do nag and keep tabs a bit. He doesn’t like it but the alternative bites him and if he’s on top of it, no nagging. LOL! Good luck though, it is a lot to juggle.
@tacocat333 no worries, it helps to know others share the pain. He’s actually been good in this class until the notebook incident with the homework in on time so I am hoping it is a brief blip.
Although I do need to buy him a new notebook today. Sigh. I would be supremely annoyed about the timing of the $$ request!
@stlarenas I will check it out, thanks
5 hrs and xx minutes until we hear decisions from Case Western… my S17 and I are biting our nails… It is his reach. He tests bad and his first 2 years of high school, he did ok but his head was filled with dreams of being a professional soccer player! He finally got the bubble burst in 10th grade - he realized he wasn’t really as good as Messi! LOL
By the middle of that year the lightbulb went off in Biology. And everything changed. He was fascinated with the workings of the human body and filled his “tv-time” with youtube videos of surgeries and medical documentaries. He didn’t realize then (ignoring my prompts) that he needed to keep up ALL his grades not just the classes he liked and was good at. All it takes is a C and a D to bring an otherwise good student - mostly A student to significantly bring down GPA. So - mediocre scores plus 3 -year GPA 3.4 didn’t give him much confidence for higher rated schools. He only applied to CWRU because they invited him to for free - like many students. (*his classes this year - All A’s so far, AP- Physics/Biology/ English Lit, and Calculus )
However after his interview with an Alum, couple with her positive feedback, stellar in-depth recommendations, plus having acceptances from many colleges w/ pretty sweet merit aid, had him thinking that he might have a chance. Both of us just want this over with so we can either celebrate (and scramble to write many scholarship essays) or relax and wait for one more decision (UMD-CP) which has a high possibility for acceptance.
So…here we go…
BTW - CONGRATS to all those who have received acceptances, especially to 1rst choice schools!
Congrats to all who have received good news this week!
@eandesmom - Did I see that you have a child interested in Chicago? Loyola Chicago seems to be quite generous with merit aid and might be of interest to you.
For the board more generally - At what point should one worry about having an admission offer and/or merit aid rescinded? My D is looking at all A’s this semester EXCEPT for AP Stat, which has been a miserable experience. She is working hard, getting As on all the homework, studying with a tutor, and doing everything except getting good grades on the exams. I work in higher education myself and recognize in this teacher a strong bias toward students with natural proficiency in math; her goal with the students who try but struggle is to prove to them that they don’t belong in the class (she has said as much in class, suggesting that some students in the class do not belong there). Accordingly, tests often test what has not been fully taught, as she tells them they will need to be able to figure it out for themselves come college (which is nonsense). I am much hoping she’ll pull out a C in the class and cringe to contemplate anything worse. Any thoughts on this?
Thanks.
Good luck, @Sailinghedgehog! It’s difficult to wait, but there seem good reasons to be optimistic. Colleges love an upward trend and a good story.
@mackaterinasmom, what a stressful time! Your DD is on the young side if she just turned 16 in May and she’s a senior! Perhaps a gap year, a 5th year at a prep school, or a first year at a local university might be a good approach? Is there any way you can get her to cut back on the Starbucks, pet sitting and babysitting to free up time to complete her assignments? As @eandesmom noted, there could be underlying issues affecting her. I have a good friend with a DD who had similar issues in high school and they worsened in college. They now regret not addressing the situation earlier since she has had a very difficult transition. I am not saying this is your DD’s situation, but couldn’t help but notice a similarity in that their DD kept taking on more work-related responsibilities rather than doing school work, and was not passing in assignments. Wishing you and your DD all the best!! This is such a stressful time - for parents and our kids.
Super interested to know what she did in Croatia and where she stayed. DH has family there.
Just got another acceptance: St. Mary’s College of Maryland. She’s not too excited, but it’s in-state and we can afford it. Affordability is pretty exciting for me.
Son got some exciting news today. He was invited to compete for several Presidential scholarship at one of his top choices. Not sure what his chances would be at winning one of the full-75% tuition scholarships is but just showing up to compete gets you an automatic $3,000 scholarship. We had told him he needed this to make the school on par with his other acceptances and apparently he worked hard at the essays. Nothing like driving to Wisconsin in January 
@“Queen’s Mom” Congratulations on an affordable school! Why do they never seem to be the top choice?
@suburbancat - Thank You! now its less than 1 hr 42 min left…
@“Queen’s Mom” - congrats on your daughter. My son got into St. Mary’s as well. Its a fall back and with the scholarship and aid given us, it has become the most economical college so far. It’s college choice #3 since it is only a 20 min drive from us!
TacoSon was accepted to Case Western! I figured he had about a 50-50 shot.
Happy for him, but the aid offered (small amount of merit, work study and a couple of loans) barely makes a dent. He won’t care a bit; he has a dumb prejudice against going to school in Ohio. /rolls eyes
@mackatarinasmom Don’t have time to say much. But hugs… I’ve been there but not in senior year. Sounds like S17’s second semester freshman year though… Does well on tests but get in all the homework. I might PM you more later (I’m going out in a few minutes) & don’t like posting too many details on the board.
Seems a bit late to pull up first semester grades at this time. My son’s teachers can be very strict everything from not taking late homework at all, to taking at least 10% off each day it’s late.
The wall of colleges sounds horrible. What a way to shame some of the kids. At least here in CA… community college is a great option for this type of situation. Two years at a CC and you can transfer into top UC’s if you do it right. And it’s not really an embarrassing option. Many students go this route just to save money & because they aren’t ready to move out of the house.
@Sailinghedgehog Contents on CASE!!! Hope it can be affordable. Would have loved if my son applied (my father went there) but it’s a bit far from the rockies.
S17 did get his formal letter & info from UofO. Does make it feel more real but it’s less impressive than I though it might be.
Ok so, S17 got deferred to RD at Case Western. They want mid-term grades. Now I wonder that if he did eventually get in, would they give him the aid he needs?? Oh well he is ok although a teeny bit disappointed.
Whew, catching up! Not that I want you guys to struggle or anything, but it sure is nice not to be alone. I think S18 should join the struggling sons of calc. He HATES it (AP Calc BC), but thank goodness he has a great teacher. He will put stuff off to the point of setting his alarm for 4am. But then he does struggle mightily and makes progress. Grades here are straight A, B, C etc. with no plus or minus. His final grade in calc is 90.07! And this teacher already stated absolutely no “bumps.” If you get an 89.9 don’t even ask. Great relief has flooded the house.
Sorry about gratz’s and hugs missed, but we’ll all be here awhile, right?
We’re getting ready for our Christmas trip to Germany and D17 picked up mail on the way out. First, a rejection from OSU honors. We were both a bit disappointed, but I’m pretty sure it was . The essay might have been the big issue. This was in high stress apps time and she basically just re-purposed a paper for her engineering class. The topic was “adaptability” and I agree that adapting algae to create fuel is super cool. But they don’t want your dry academic paper about the technical details! OSU was not looking great price-wise, so there’s one less school to spend any more time on.
In the same stack was a big UVM envelope, and it was nice to see the giant “YES!” on the outside even though she already knew from the portal. But what she spent most of her time with was the big packet from CSU honors. I am soooo glad she made that cut. She even decided not to apply at CU.
So, as we were nearly home she pointed out that it was past 6pm (mtn time) and she might as well see her first rejection. We checked it out. Yep, Case Western had deferred her to RD (keeping good company with @Sailinghedgehog’s S). She definitely seemed to take it in stride as we’ve well known it was a reach. At least we didn’t waste time/money on a visit. @tacocat333, big gratz (or should that be “catz”) on Case! Too bad it looks like it may not work out for other reasons, but it’s a nice shot of confidence when a school says “Yea, we’d like to have you.” Remember: In the real world (non-CC), Case is a highly selective school with a great reputation.
@eandesmom, yes the list has become a globule slowly showing us its true form! D does still love Smith and I think she’d have a great and productive time if she went there. But she’s the pragmatist, so Smith just sits in the corner, looking lovely, but not getting much of our attention. After looking at how strict the EE timeline looks at other schools, I think she may feel there’s a disadvantage of only having an engineering degree rather than EE. Maybe it doesn’t matter between Smith’s “name-brand” and alumna network, but it is a different beast from her other schools.
Talking today, she is liking WWU, Michigan Tech, and Gonzaga. I’m not sure what happened to Rose-Hulman, but until the merit shows, I’m not going to say anything. She’s been spending a lot of time lately looking at and thinking about money. She told me she decided today that if she gets into RIT with a presidential scholarship of any size ($10,000 - $16,000), she will go there and take on the debt. That could be as high as $40,000. But they have a required (at least for engineers) co-op program which she would love. I could continue to count the ways we both love RIT, but what I really need is a support group to help me make it to RIT decision time in mid-March. Hmmm, where might I find such a group??? :-h