@jeepgirl. No loans for my D. In fact I’ve sweetened the pot for D to keep costs low. I’ve given her a budget of $12k a year for tuition + R & B. Every dollar not spent is hers to do as she wants upon graduation.
My sons app does the same. It seems the check my application status is not working on UA website. If we put in his name and pin it brings us to create a new app or return to homepage. I was going to give it a week and recheck.
Acknowledge. Ucsb and ucsd. I think she should throw in ucsc too
@itsgettingreal17 I like your approach about keeping costs low. I had a discussion with my son recently about the cost and value of the schools on his list. He has a few schools that cost $65k per year. He has a couple on his list where he may qualify for some merit and bring the cost down to $30-40k, so maybe a savings of up to $25k per year if he chooses the least expensive option. I told him he could use the $25k in a variety of ways, such as getting a car, using it for grad school, using it for a downpayment on a house when he gets older etc. It was a really good discussion. We discussed if the more expensive schools would be worth it in the short and long term. How would they help him reach his goals? Could he do just as well at the public school vs expensive private? Might he actually like to spend the next 4 years at the public vs the private?
I wish I could get him interested in our state school, but he just didn’t like it at all, and in New England it’s pretty hard to find “value” schools that work for him. He doesn’t want to leave the area.
@pokerqueen On the UA site click on new app and it will bring you to your app.
I really hope my D gets into a reach because safeties are a sore spot for us.
She loves our state flagship and would happily go there and I could but don’t want to pay for it when there are so many free tuition/free ride schools available for stats, nhrp, and possibly nmsf. I don’t mind paying our EFC for a reach but I do mind paying the same amount (full pay minus a small merit scholarship) for our state U. If she chooses our state U over a free tuition option, she is going to have to make up the difference with federal loans and summer work just because I feel its an unwise choice.
Thanks. That worked. A bit convoluted but at least I can see his school has not yet sent his transcript but his SAT scores are there. Now as long as the Presidential scholarship doesn’t change much we are set. Hopefully, a week at SITE will seal the deal for S and there will be little stress from college apps.
@RightCoaster I think there is a difference between grumbling about tuition and not being able to afford the state flagship which may be the case for many. In some cases the child may not be able to get into the state flagship or many of the state schools (UC’s for example). It is easy to say, just go to a CC for a few years, or a state school with horrible stats, and transfer but for kids who want and are capable/desiring of the 4 year experience at a decent school, and for parents who wish to help them find it even if they can’t afford it, it is stressful. There are many I know, who are facing their first child going to college and finding themselves blindsided by costs being what they are. Is it shame on them for not being educated enough or planning/saving appropriately? Maybe but it doesn’t make it any less difficult for those finding themselves in that spot. I think it is wonderful that you have no stress and everyone you know just grumbles but that isn’t the reality for many many people who are simply trying to find the best possible option for their child, that they can afford and that, for most, is stressful.
I know many many stressed people and many others who are not and many who are a combination where they have solid affordable options but stress to find better fits that are also affordable and their child can get in. For the vast majority, the 100K difference in the discussion you had with your son, is not a discussion that can be had at all, they are looking at the 30-40k schools as being too expensive and if they are worth it compared to the 21K secondary state school or lower cost CC.
YMMV 
I could understand the concept that kids cannot understand affordability if we were talking about 5 and 6 year olds. But we are talking about 17 and 18 year olds. At that latter ages, kids should be able to understand affordability issues. They may not like the reality of them but that is another issue. Though its an issue that they should learn to accept because its a reality.
@whataboutcollege My DD has similar stats and I completely agree with you. We are having a lot of difficulty finding more than one safety. I told my daughter last week that she would not get into Tufts and she was very surprised. I showed her the naviance for her school and literally not one student with an ACT above 32 has been accepted within the last 5 years and only one student with a weighted GPA above 4 has been accepted. All those red Xs for high stats really drove the message home that Tufts should come off her list. Schools are dropping off her list like flies and nothing is being added. I am worried.
@eandesmom I do feel bad for all posters in this thread and on CC who are feeling stressed out. I admit I may live in a weird " bubble" and may be completely clueless and ignorant, and for that I apologize.
I do sense some people in here are stressed out about $$ and that stinks.
I also see people having problems finding schools where there kids can study certain subjects and I personally have never had to deal with that. That stinks too! Both of my kids are only interested in studying subjects taught at thousands of schools, so I’ve never even worried about it.
I just like to think everything is going to work itself it out for everybody.
@saillakeerie I agree that the kids should be able to grasp the concept of affordability and value at 17-18. I hope everyone starts having talks with their kids on how much stuff costs, how they need to find jobs to pay for the stuff on their own in a few years. It is eye opening to the kids. My wife and I will run through our family’s monthly expenses with the kids to show them. We’ve discussed what they are going to need to earn to maintain a lifestyle they like, and also what kind of jobs will pay them what it takes to live that lifestyle. If they want to live a different lifestyle, they can adjust their earnings potential up or down.
Totally off topic but Ohmyword… My mother! I try not to engage her in college talk. She is so negative. Nothing is ever right. My niece and nephew go to outstanding schools and worked hard to get there but since they are full pay, my mom only seems happy when she is complaining about the cost of their schools and my brother who is “having to work so hard to pay for it.” (Trust me they are fine in the $$ department).
Then in virtually the same breath she complains that my brothers kids don’t have summer jobs but THEN complains that my D can’t come spend time with her for weeks on end. Hmmm, yeah it’s because she has a JOB!
So we were talking about school and D yesterday and she doesn’t like any of Ds choices. Pitt is “too far away and who has heard of it anyway??” But UA, which would be full tuition for D and is one state away? “I hate that you are considering that because it’s such a party school.”
Can I just have a permanent eye roll button for her??
So maybe we could start a fun Friday thread with the funniest eye-rolling comments from family?
Ha @carachel2, I’ve learned to not talk about school stuff with my parents. They don’t really care that much and they don’t know anything now either. Like the " never heard of it" comments, classic!
My mom brings up the story about me not going to Northeastern to participate in the best co-op program ( her words) but instead chose the #1 party school in the nation. It’s like I committed a crime!
I have to tell her every time I see her that I’m doing fine. I really don’t think she believes me.
My dad seriously doesn’t care at all. I could tell him my kids are going to Trump University and he’d say “sounds good, have fun”.
I am a firm believer in “if you can get something for less then why pay more”.
I don’t believe that just because a school is lower ranked by some metric, that the individual departments cannot be equivalent or even outshine the ones at other schools.
We were looking at pharmacy schools and in our state Pitt was the top choice. Excellent program, not too big (about 100 students in the pharmacy school), great research university, hospitals right next to campus.
My D loved it after our visit and since she received a scholarship that makes it affordable, it enables her to do the 2 yr prepharmacy program there as well.
I really don’t care if nobody has heard of Pitt, but around here most health professionals have either gone there or know someone who did. It was the best choice for her. That’s all that matters imo.
@Rightcoaster I completely agree with you re teaching budgeting. I recently ticked that one off my list. I had D sit down with me last week and she helped me come up with my new monthly budget based on the new job. It was very eye-opening for her. She had tons of questions. We also discussed credit card usage.
Lots more on the to do/teach list.
…catching up (not doing my homework, lol):
@jmek15 Stonehill College is in my hometown, and some of my high school friends now work there. It’s a lovely school, and has become considerably more prestigious than when I was a kid. It’s not easy to get to boston or the cape from Stonehill, and Easton is a pretty sleepy town, but it’s not a bad place to be in the grand scheme of things.
@VickiSoCal I just texted my kid and she doesn’t know where her IB login is, either. Too many balls in the air.
QO(one of the past)D(ays): AP stuff. AP classes-the girls take a mix of regular, AP and IB classes. The school tends to be fairly culturally homogeneous (ethnically heterogeneous, though) in the sense that there aren’t a ton of “slacker” kids even in the regular classes. The school takes the kids who would be bored in “regular” classes and tracks them into some really amazing vo-tech classes like a world-class culinary institute, an engineering track, uh, a few other ones that I’m not as familiar with, but they get certificates, they can DE with the local tech schools and community colleges-they really figure out how to fit the kids well and have them succeed.
So if you want to go crazy with the AP classes and get the crazy GPA, there’s a crowd of kids just like you doing that. If you are going to do the full IB, there are about 50 kids each year that do that. There are some real benefits to being in such a large, high performing high school. The drawback is, if you have a kid like my D18, being a bright slacker with a 3.0 (now 2.8, ugh), you are in the bottom 10% of your class rank, even with AP and honors classes on your transcript. So, we’re changing tracks for her this fall (easier classes) and she’s focused now on GPA and qualifying for the HOPE scholarship. She’s figuring out how to play the game.
@BigPapiofthree wrote
I try to remember that this is a big, big world, and there are many amazing opportunities and places for our kids to go and see. I don’t want my kids chasing someone else’s dream. I do like to read about the ups and downs-sometimes our kids (and your kids) do amazing things, and sometimes, they don’t. It’s all good-none of them are superheroes. The all fives kid may have anxiety issues. The 2.8 kid (cough) may be incredibly kind and be glad she took AP CS, got a C in it just so she can say she did it.
It all works out as long and we don’t get all “I can’t be on here because my kid can’t keep up with the rock stars.” There is no keeping up, there’s just “this is working out well” and “oops, not so much”-all the kids are doing SO AMAZINGLY WELL COMPARED TO THE REST OF THE PLANET THAT IT’S NUTS!
Sorry, had to shout. 
I believe it’ll all work out-just keep swimming, keep doing due diligence, re-assess when things don’t work, don’t hate on your kid if they screw up, don’t hate on yourself if you screw up (ok, hate on yourself a little, but then move on). Celebrate the accomplishments, mourn the failures, and know that none of the kids are perfect, thank goodness.
I think part of what helps keep me calm about the whole school prestige thing is that we have friends and family members who have gone to ivy and elite schools, and f&f who’ve gone to average schools. It doesn’t decide your future for you at all. It just doesn’t. As long as the girls can find a school where they are pursuing something they are good at and engaged with, in an environment that supports them and allows them to flourish, then it’s golden! (oh and graduate without crushing debt-that’s a must).
@flatKansas and @novicemom23kids D17 chose not to do APUSH either, because she doesn’t enjoy history. She got a 90 in her on level history class-lol, just enough, and no more. She’s like, I don’t need the aggravation of that class.
@LoveTheBard my D’s high school won’t allow D17 into AP Calc BC unless she has a 94 average in AP Calc AB. Their rules. I suppose nothing’s stopping her from taking the AP test, but the class is closed to her because it’s not the college board who’s teaching the class.
Ok, I’m up to page 625, I have to go do my homework…
@carachel2 funniest comment from my mom: “well why don’t you just send him out here?” (to CA. Oh Mom, bless your heart.)
semi-related funny: Until I found CC and opened my eyes to the current state of higher ed, I had no clue that my alma mater is now super competitive. My diploma is retroactively cool-by-association!
@RightCoaster …I need to find a way to brush my mom off but she actually IS interested or at least shows enough interest to ask questions and then jumps all over my answers. ugh.
@mommdc I completely agree! My mom will never get D’s love for Pitt b/c she has never been there and doesn’t really understand anyone who wants to go out of state.
@MotherOfDragons
“I think part of what helps keep me calm about the whole school prestige thing is that we have friends and family members who have gone to ivy and elite schools, and f&f who’ve gone to average schools. It doesn’t decide your future for you at all”
Did you read my comment that I went to the biggest baddest party school in the nation, at a time when that truly meant something? Surprisingly, I turned out fine. I’m not living on the streets or working flipping burgers.
I’ve mentioned this before but my most successful ( both financially and personally) friend was a kid that was taking
remedial level classes through high school and probably graduated HS by the skin of his teeth. He got into an OK college somehow and thrived, and eventually went on to create a wildly successful international business for himself which he still runs. It’s amazing.
@latKansas LOL! I just said to my husband last night. Admissions is so much more competitive today. I went to UD (Delaware. I know people love to call it UDel but it seems so funny to me because NOONE called it that when I went there, granted that was 20 years ago but…) I don’t think I would get accepted there today, besides the fact that all in it cost $15k OOS back then as a full pay student. Don’t I wish it was the same now…