This is likely true for my D too. Unfortunately I think it is much easier to judge the latter than the former before attending. 
QOTD2 Hmm. S has been basically unconcerned about dorms during visits and he’s stayed in a variety of dorms over the years, but only for a week or so at a time. As long as it wasn’t an overcrowded triple, I don’t think it would matter to him much. I’d generally encourage him to choose a community style hall over a suite style hall where he’d share a bedroom with a roommate. However, he does like his alone time, and if there were a choice to have his own bedroom in a suite room where he was still forced I mean encouraged to spend most of time in a shared area and interact with roommates, that would probably be ideal.
Welcome! @dcolosi D has toured, officially, 6 schools so far and is familiar with a number of others from spending time on their campuses for summer programs and camps. We are scheduled to tour 2 more before acceptances start coming in.
D is applying to 15 schools and for big merit scholarships, honors programs, and where offered, some special programs that meet her area of interest. All of her schools are very similar - big state schools, D1 football, strong biz schools, good Arabic offerings, offers large merit scholarships. D will be happy to attend any of the 15, though she does have her favorites. It will come down to which schools show her the most love, i.e., gives her the most money, and only if she has multiple similar offers will it come down to preference after a campus visit. D is in the running for NMSF, so if she makes it, she will be attending one of her NMSF school unless her other favorites come through with the big money. D is more than half-way done with her apps, but is already experiencing essay fatigue. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s already written at least 15 essays but has at least 10 to go and I’d really struggling with the one she is currently working on.
Re: Comments from others re: where D is applying - Only those who don’t know my D ask why she isn’t applying to an Ivy, etc. (as D would have a decent shot of getting into at least 1). Those who know her know she wouldn’t like an Ivy, liberal arts school, or other competitive private university. D, while very studious, is a rah rah, need to be near a big city, on a big pretty campus, that is diverse kinda gal. Now kids at her school, they keep trying to pressure her into applying to elite schools. She actually considered applying to an Ivy just to see if she gets in (I don’t agree with that approach) but when she saw the essay topics, she was finally convinced it wasn’t worth the effort.
QOTD: The dorms won’t be that much of a factor for D, though she does like the nicer dorms we’ve seen. She originally wanted a single, but I told her I’m not paying for that upgrade. And after this past summer, where she actually had a roommate that she really liked, she’s come around to the idea of a double.
Back in the day…not nearly as back in the day as probably everyone else on this thread :)), everyone applied to 10-20 schools, including lots of top 20’s. I applied to 13 plus local safeties.
of school visits: 13, I think. Many have been fairly deep dives: tour & info session plus attending a class or two, meeting with students we know on campus, etc. Three interviews so far. Half of Feb break, all of April break and a week this summer, all dedicated to visits. Definitely did not spend this much time visiting schools with older son, but we limited his visits to a four hour driving radius.
of apps: TBD. I believe three schools have fallen off the list after visit. Will probably apply SCEA & a couple of EAs, where allowed. Outcome of those apps may further influence lists. There are definitely a few more that he intends to apply to that we have not visited, and will not, as they require flights.
Reactions…I don’t talk about it much. The outcomes are completely unpredictable.
Dorms: I think we have only seen the inside of a dorm on one of the 13 tours. Housing as a concept is something I inquire about (availability after freshman year). The dorm room will not be a game changer, however, he is someone who will be as trouble as I am about the bathrooms.
I still remember the three colleges I applied to-Carnegie Mellon, Oberlin, and Gettysburg. For fine art.
What was I thinking?!?
/
QOTD(2 or 3): What is your student’s school’s policies about college visits?
So D’s school only allows 2 excused absences for college visits. I don’t see how that makes sense. I guess D is just going to be “sick” quite a bit as she will not enroll anywhere she hasn’t visited.
School visits, our school doesn’t have a policy that I know of. With that said, we pull your kids for actions and it has never been an issue.
Ds’ school allows 4 days, but they have to fill out a rather elaborate form.
New this this year-calling in sick isn’t excused anymore. You have to call in sick and provide a doctor’s note. Seriously I can’t wait for them to be done with high school.
QOTD: I’m not sure how important a particular dorm would be for D’17. What I think would be good for D and what she thinks are probably not the same. In our visits though, she’s been spoiled by seeing some amazing dorm rooms; Wash U. and Vanderbilt come to mind. She’s also seen some “pits”; here I’m thinking of Pitt’s towers and SLU Griesedieck. It hasn’t seemed to matter.
Of course, you’ve now sent me into a neurotic crisis, because all other things being equal, I don’t know what the most important factor is for her. If she knows, she’s not shared. No deal breakers and no deal makers.
I think my coping mechanism for this will be denial. I’ll pitch it as “She’s looking at the whole package.”
My high school had the “if you are a senior, you are allowed 2 days for college visits” policy. But no one really keeps track. I know people who missed 4 or 5 non consecutive days for college visits and never got in trouble.
Only applying to 3 schools, all instate so all are financial matches. All are safeties or matches, will be applying to the honors programs, those will be matches and reaches.
QOTD
We have avoided the college talk with the relatives as most did not attend college but “know someone that got a full merit scholarship to Harvard but turned it down to work on a fishing boat” or “know someone that got a scholarship to every college in the state but turned them down to go to CC to stay near his mom.” They all think my D is some kind of freak of nature smart, so they will think wherever she goes must be a good school, as long it has a football team. She hopes to have one acceptance from the rolling admissions school by Thanksgiving and a second by Christmas, that will make the holidays go better for her.
We are not allowed any excuse absences. My daughter called in sick for the ones we did.
QOTD (visit days allowed): I don’t think the school has any hard rules. We’ve seen where many parents pull their kids for vacations and other non-illness related reasons. Among neighbors and acquaintances, “mental health days” seem to be a thing.
However, it is D’17 who is typically unwilling to miss school for non illness related reasons.
No days for college visits and no calling in sick. Parents can no-longer write absence excuses for their kids, they must have a doctor’s note.
My D had a per-arranged appointment with the director of admissions at her top choice school during a college rep visitation day. Her teacher would not excuse her to attend the meeting since there was a test that day. If she left she would have to take 0 on the test, no make ups.
No wonder so many kids end up at CC.
@MotherOfDragons OMG that is THE most ridiculous thing ever. So now if your kid has a viral illness that requires NO office visit… You have to have an appointment anyway??? They cannot do that for one absence.
A school district around here tried that once and after I pretty much harassed and faxed and called them daily for clogging up my schedule with non-acute visits just to get the note they dropped the policy. It’s ridiculous.
Ours requires a note after 3 days of consecutive absences and I do think that is reasonable.
For college visits seniors are allowed 3 excused days. Although the kid who got into all the Ivy schools tweeted about his acceptance day visits and from the tweets it looked like he was gone 8 days straight so I’m not sure if they were strict about the rule or not.
Per the HS website: Campus Visits
*Students are allowed to visit college campuses three times during their junior year and three times during their senior year. These visits are considered field trips, and therefore do not count as absences.
How do I arrange a campus visit?
- Students must prearrange a college visit with the college of interest.
- Students must come to the guidance office and pick up a college visit form and have it validated by guidance secretaries. This form includes parent permission and teacher permission.
- These college visit forms must be completed and turned in to the attendance window prior to the day of the visit.*
Of course when we planned them the day before or after a school break on the way to vacation we took the siblings too…and their absences were unexcused.
Oh and when my D told them she was visiting Vanderbilt (mostly because it was early in the search and we were going to be in Nashville anyway) she said the GC "practically rolled their eyes in disbelief and said ‘really, Vanderbilt?’ "
@TimEnchanter We just dropped our D16 off at UK! She is a recipient of the Patterson Scholarship, full tuition plus stipend for room and board. Our university bill for the semester came in at $280. Our bill for D13 at UIUC (in-state) is, uh, considerably higher.
I know the college admissions game gets crazy. We were comparing schools with a variety of net costs per year. Anywhere from $39K per year to $22K per year to $12K per year to UK’s basically free. Multiply by 4 and it’s humbling how much college costs!
Our D had a LOT of trouble accepting our budget. She pictured herself at a prestigious selective school. It took some time, but she has come around to seeing the advantage she has. Save your debt for grad school or professional school we kept saying. Save us from debt so we can help you in other ways, down the road.
Most of her friends are also going to big Public Universities, but some to elite selective privates. It’s all in the rear view mirror now, very diffferent from the anxiety and tension of senior year where everyone’s self-worth seemed tied up in where they got accepted or where they would end up going.
Hang in there everyone. Keep your feet on the ground!
No bureaucratic issues here! 
We started back to school in mid-July precisely for the ability to take time off for college visits. We are planning on 2 weeks off the end of Sept.
@Mom2aphysicsgeek Word is the administration at your D’s high school is super cool.
@CaucAsianDad Your D’s teacher should be reprimanded and/or promptly dismissed. Inexcusable behavior.
ETA: If that had happened with my son, I would involve the principal, the GC, the teacher, and probably the nurse, just in case.