Not on Facebook. Hoping to avoid it.
Wishing all of you affected by Hurricane Matthew the best of luck. Let’s hope it pushes out to sea.
The merit money at UA is attractive to so many of us, but even if D17 did not have a scholarship, it still would be her number 1! It is the perfect fit for my D and so many others like her. I love hearing everyones kids college stories, I have learned so much regardless of where we are taking about!
I too have thought about the FB group. The big advantage I see is that I bet @2muchquan would join. =))
Plus, they don’t have to be mutually exclusive, but in many ways I agree with @MotherOfDragons. The negative is for folks who would like to keep their anonymity. Or for the Luddites like @STEM2017. 
Guilty! Luddite with major self control issues.
I think corresponding with colleges on your kids behalf depends on the situation. I have corresponded with Georgia Tech’s Health dept when after 1 1/2 years all of a sudden DS13’s account was put on hold because they said he didn’t have all his vaccinations. I called and they fixed it right away. Also I have emailed/called their Financial Aid Department a couple of times over the years. They have always been very helpful. Depending on the situation,how quick things needs to be looked and how busy DS is I will step in when needed.
I like reading the Alabama posts also because I learn something that I did not know before. I feel the same about regional schools (not reopening the directional discussion). I grew up in the Northeast, attended college in the Northeast, and lived & worked in Boston & NYC. My perspective is a bit myopic, so these threads help to broaden my view.
I am amazed, however, at the high percentage of this group that is applying to Alabama. I wonder if that this is true for other graduating years, or if our year is more self-selecting.
We will need some sort of roll call next spring listing where everyone will be attending. Or maybe not, as I sense that my son may be one of the last to decide, and I will sit here watching the list grow.
@CT1417 There is a thread where people list their acceptances. Someone use to tally up the totals for each school for the Class of 2016 before it got shut down. Here was the old list: Class of 2020 Acceptances - Summarized - Google Sheets.
@carachel2 our instate options pay nothing for stats as well. Not that we are in that bucket with this child but have been there. That said, folks around here don’t seem to be driven by merit money, either it’s not an issue or they are on the CC path, or commuter branch school path. On the flip side they aren’t super hung up on prestige either so tend to target top regional schools or the 50-150 schools either on the LAC or National side. Our Alabama applicants, few as they are, were definitely not hunting merit.
@hadmeathello congrats on MSU!!!
@CT1417 much of that list is pretty popular around here actually, we know kids at most of the schools listed. Which in looking at our Naviance makes sense (and matches the above comment regarding the kinds of schools our HS kids/families seem to target). We’ve had kids apply at 15 out of the 20 listed or basically 40% of our seniors over the last 3 years have applied to schools on that list, based on the data. Western does skew it, but if you pull that out it looks like about 25% of our seniors apply to the privates on that list (plus Cal Poly lol). So, a pretty decent chunk of families and kids. The enrolled (yield) % drops as I’m sure cost does come into play and that list is all either OOS or private once you pull out Western. But bottom line is, while folks here seem to care less about the rankings, the local reputation factor seems to match up the list to a large degree.
@STEM2017 I get it. There are many aspects of this my child would prefer me to handle, or doesn’t find terribly important. It’s a fine line knowing when to reach out on your own and when to push your child to handle it themselves. Different kids are wired different ways and we’ve run the gamut with our 4, I expect the next one to be wildly different and extremely proactive. Vent away. Do what works for you.
@christygb I am so sorry your S is going through this and can only imagine how terrifying it is on so many levels. A lot of good advice and experiences here and a safe place to come share what is going on. Sometimes a day at a time, one foot in front of the other is the best possible approach. Letting your child know it is ok to let something go for now can be freeing. It doesn’t sound as if you are pressuring him but have you let him know it’s really ok to just let it go for now and it will work itself out when it needs to? That nothing needs to be thought about, talked about or or worried about right now? Is the GC at the HS looped in on everything? There can be a lot of pressure there with all the senior activities as well and I can’t imagine that helps things.
@RightCoaster I have my doubts about those to be honest. Often you can look at the Honors college entry requirements and quickly determine if your child is qualified to apply. It may well be valid but given that your student hasn’t actually applied there yet so they don’t have all the info, I’d do the homework now so your child isn’t disappointed.
@snoozn how terrifying! We had a campus shooter event when S11 was a junior…it was horrible.
@greeny8 stay safe and I hope the lights stay on! We have friends stranded there now and others scheduled to go down on Sunday that are freaking out. I have a trip there next month so hope the season is over and minimal issues for all right now.
@longwood I agree with the email comment. So frustrating. Life does not work by text message!
@picklesarenice I hope your D continues to recover, that sounds like major surgery and recovery, I’d be putting all on the back burner as well.
Thanks to all who posted about the medical POA. We have not done it for any of our kids and really should! Great info and much appreciated, I will definitely be doing it for S17.
Yesterday, D’17 found out she won’t be nominated for a national level scholarship by her school, so one school with an Oct 15 EA deadline is off the list. She didn’t seem disappointed at all. The committee said the “the competition was especially keen this year.”
She never shared her local app with me, so maybe she just wrote “My dad made me do this. My dad made me do this.”
Good progress elsewhere and I expect the EA submission flurry to start soon.
NMF packet has been transmitted to school. I can obsess and wait for the school to confirm and send to NMSC for a week or so.
To all those dealing with actual important issues like mental health and physical health, I send good wishes but sorry I have no specific advice to offer.
Onward and upward.
I’ll give a different perspective on encouraging a child to apply, and if lucky enough to get accepted, attend a highly selective school that I really hope is not taken the wrong way. My dad attended Penn and paying for college and grad school for his kids was a non issue. Husband attended Penn and I attended Georgetown and paying for college and grad school for our kids is not an issue. Hoping the trend continues and my kids can pay for my grandkids education without a problem. I know folks with fancy beachfront vacation homes that buy their kids BMWs as a first car who refuse to pay tuition beyond the cost of community college and have friends who take on a second job to be able to give their kids as many options as possible. The bottom line is that everyone spends their money differently.
I really admire all the research folks do into Merit schools and enjoy listening to all the talk about Alabama. However, as an URM my DD would probably not feel comtorable at Alabama. Have any of you seen the Alabama sorority recruiting video where only one girl was brunette? I know that when DD visited and attended a class at Vanderbilt she was appalled. She felt very strongly that the diversity at Vanderbilt was not integrated.
Good luck to all the 2017ers!
D got a copy of her English teacher’s LoR and I’m very happy with it. I think it’s a good complement to her essay. I’m glad the teacher mentioned that she works well with groups either in a leadership or team member capacity. This doesn’t come through in D’s essay and doesn’t show up in her activities. The teacher offered to look at her essay and I really hope D will take her up on it. So far the only critiques have come from oldest D and me. She has two more essays to write by November 1.
Parents contacting colleges
I’ve been making D do all the college contacting. I think it’s good practice for her (she hates emailing and calling). I also think the AO’s see it as a plus. However I’m going to make an exception once offers come in (please let offers come in!) I will be calling the disability offices to assess whether I think they’ll be able to offer the support she needs.
Prestige/college drama
Luckily this hasn’t been an issue for my kids, probably because they don’t run with the academic superstar crowd. For oldest D, Only one friend applied to Ivies and didn’t get in. I guess the most prestigious colleges attended were Smith and Olin. Most of her friends who went to college went in-state. A number of friends didn’t go to college. One of them is a magician trying to go pro. He has amazing talent, so I hope he’ll make it!
D17 doesn’t really have a social group and her one real friend (who she sometimes sees outside school) will be going in-state.
S18 is more like oldest D with a diverse social group. He is one of the “academic high achievers” in the group, but has friends who are happy to get by with C’s and don’t take advanced classes. There’s been very little college talk among them.
@christygb, My oldest D also suffers from anxiety and depression and has been going through some difficult times recently. She is a college senior who attends a local college and she sees us fairly often. This has worked well for our family, but I’m not sure it’s the answer for everyone. I was thinking of a possible different tack for your S, obviously after discussion between you, him, and the counselor. If watching deadlines pass is causing him more anxiety, you may want to encourage him to keep going (slowly and only as much as he feels comfortable with) on the apps. This might be a good situation in which to hire a professional to help with the essay or any other app issues that are difficult. It sure is a tough call and I wish him good progress forward in dealing with these challenges.
@picklesarenice, Uggh, jaw surgery recovery is tough. After mine I was at the point where I could have blended versions of just about everything when my birthday came around. We went to my favorite restaurant and I had them blend my favorite pasta meal. It was better than you might think (probably due to my desperation for real food at that point). I hope she has a speedy recovery.
Prestige: D flies under the radar at school. She is a very mature, humble, and self-aware kid, so she does not discuss stats or colleges with many at her school. She also marches to the beat of her own drum so cares very little about what others think of her choices. She is very happy with her college list and very excited about her top choices, and hopefully at least one of will come through with the big merit aid.
I don’t think we live in an area that is prestige obsessed so I’ve very easily spoken with many highly successful people about our college search and never felt that anyone looked down on her choices or thought she should be looking at more prestigious schools. In fact, a former colleague of mine recently told me that he wished his son had not been so obsessed with prestige as he ended up at a college that wasn’t a good fit. As I have said on many occasions, I think a large majority of those who are obsessed with prestigious schools just don’t know better. I have to shake my head when they start explaining why going to a prestigious school is so important because they clearly have no clue. You rarely hear similar sentiments from someone with a prestigious educational background. I have no doubt D will be successful no matter where she ends up and that’s all I need to know.
@christygb HUGS. I’ve been there. DS was this way second semester as a freshman. It’s one of the reasons DS is in his situation with high SAT’s but low GPA, lets just say end of freshman grades weren’t so hot.
I’ve been very worried college apps would get him there, and it’s why I’m trying to be fairly low pressure about the whole thing. We have a schedule, things are making forward progress. We will see what happened when it gets down to the wire. What helped for DS was a combination of therapy, pulling back on number of classes/projects, and giving him time in the summer to really slow down.
@MotherOfDragons Drexel has an Honors college and the Honors Dorm supposedly has some nice views of the city or possibly just the train yard near by
- I love the Bama talk and any school talk. I have an 11 yo so maybe one day it'll be useful. I have a N19 (Nephew 19) and I could see Bama being on his list as he as grandparents in the state and interested in Engineering.
- Not a luddite or FB user
- Last Fall my D's list was totally prestige driven. Hopefully 'I done learned her a few things' about colleges and her list is much more practical if not overly ambitious.
- I contact Colleges about Financial Aid other than that it's up to D to do it.
- D will not turn 18 until middle of Freshman year. Do parents of less than 18 year olds have to do more paper work for minors attending?
@Dolemite – my older son was 17 for the first month of college. I did not need to file any additional paperwork, however, any forms that an 18 year old could execute were not available to him. I think there is a FERPA form the student would need to file in order for anyone at the college to discuss performance with a parent. I recall that he was in the middle of ongoing acne treatment and needed to fill out a form authorizing his doctor to discuss his care with me.
Of course, since I do not have medical POA filed, you probably should not take advice from me.
I think most frequent users of CC have probably seen the sorority recruitment video if they are seriously considering Bama. I mean, we use friggin’ spreadsheets for goodness sake!
My kid, too, is a URM although she sometimes forgets it.
@Testingearly I too have thought long and hard about merit schools like Alabama and OU. Even though ds is a NMSF - I know as a URM those schools might not treat him well as a big brown dude… The money is so good at those schools but I do worry about the combination of alcohol and open carry in this political environment…
Take this with a grain of salt b/c D is very white — but diversity is an important thing to her. For instance, she felt a distinct lack of diversity at two schools we toured and it was a “get in the car and let’s leave” type of situation.
She went into the UA tour rather skeptical and expecting it to be the same. Those sorority and frat houses are crazy big and something she is not interested in at all. But— there was actually more diversity at UA than we saw at a lot of other schools. She was pleasantly surprised.
I’m surprised you guys are worried about sending an URM student to school at a big university in the south. I went t a large state school in Florida and there were lots of african american men.I lived with one. Became very good friends. He hung out with all of my white friends and we hung out with alot of his URM friends.We were ALL friends. Not to be controversial but do you think Bama is overrun by hicks that don’t care for african americans? I’ve never been to Bama, but have visited lots of big football schools and never thought they lacked diversity.
I saw way more diversity on my campus in FL than I did when I visited my friend’s schools in the north east. I never once felt a tinge of racism or anything. In fact, I felt more people looked at me funny sometimes because I came from New England. I wasn’t a typical southerner I guess. I would imagine there all sorts of kids on such a big campus and they would feel comfortable there. Maybe I’m wrong?