Parents of the HS Class of 2018 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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I have a graph paper notebook where I have been keeping college notes for a year, including deadlines for scholarships, etc. It is always in the same place. And now it’s not there. :((

I am hoping that I took it with me to the car to look at when I knew I would have extra time waiting to pick up D from work or another kiddo from an activity. I’ll look in the car next.

But youngest D has been cleaning a lot. I already warned her about organizing the mail because I was afraid a bill would get lost. The usual places where I keep my books have been shifted around so I’m a little worried that my college notebook is on a bookshelf somewhere and won’t be located again for years. I have a lot of books.

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Ok reading another thred here on CC has prompted my question…

  1. Have your or your kid completely not considered, or removed, a school from you list because of it's reputation for partying?
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Yes, @labegg. I’m sure my D will do her fair share of partying in college, but there are two schools (that I’d rather not mention) where D perceives there is too much of a party culture.

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There is a specific state school I would not allow my kids to attend due to partying, not that they would want to go there anyway. Lack of partying was very high on DS18 list of requirements. He understands that there is some degree of partying (drugs and excessive drinking) everywhere but he’s happy he found a school with very little partying.

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@labegg Simple answer is “no”. We know plenty of kids at “party schools” who are very serious and take full advantage of what the school has to offer, and kids who party way too much at Ivy League type schools (including kids who’ve been asked to spend a year or more elsewhere). We would steer clear of really small schools in really remote places if that’s all there is to do, but that’s a pretty small number of schools and wouldn’t be appealing for other reasons as well.

Plus, I don’t think “partying” is, within proper limits, a bad thing in and of itself. And those limits are ones that all kids need to come to understand not just for college but for life.

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So by extension…

  1. Would you remove a school such as, the University of Chicago (which has a decidedly not a party school reputation) if you discovered that there was evidence of extensive partying, only the a academic reputation of the school seems to overshadow the party reputation?
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@labegg That’s an interesting question. Our family has not made schools with party reps off limits for S18, and he has one of those schools on his list. I don’t like the fact that the school has that reputation, but it also has a reputation of being an excellent school and it is an in-state public option for us, so I didn’t think we could rule it out just because of that reputation. For me, it boils down to S18 ultimately having to make good decisions if he goes there. I think / hope S18 will find the right balance between partying, studying and other activities.

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Well, it’s D making these choices, not me. My guess is that she would not rule out a school like UChicago under those circumstances.

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I thought S18 would be able to click “submit” for several Common App schools last weekend, and he almost did, but just wasn’t quite ready. So I made another list, organized by deadline, of what each school requires, including the text of all essays / short answers. Lists are what I do when I’m anxious about something.

Glad I did that. It made me realize that S18 isn’t in as bad a shape as I thought. There are just a few school-specific questions he needs to answer on Common App, and then he will be able to submit to 6 schools - hopefully (fingers crossed!) this weekend. After that, everything is spaced out pretty evenly with deadlines at 2 week intervals through January 1. It’s still a lot of work, but seems manageable. He and I are both feeling much more optimistic and less stressed about his ability to get it done, especially with fall sports season winding down.

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@gclsports I think you are getting to the heart of my query. At what point does the academic reputation over come the party reputation? I am questioning, that there are some schools that have very serious party atmoshpheres that are often over looked or “forgiven” because of it’s reputation academically, while there are schools that may not be seriously considered because the perceived and perpetuated reputation for partying…

For instance: Texas State vs TAMU. I think there is some very serious partying occurring at TAMU, as much as at Texas State, IMO.

I attended Ohio University, a notorious party school, yet my own experience at Ohio U was not clouded by partying, in fact I didn’t feel there was anymore partying going on at Ohio U than what I experienced when visiting friends at Case or Miami U.

But what prompted my question is a thred that is talking about an increase in underage drinking at O-week at U of Chicago. I am wondering what the tipping point is and why some schools seem to escape the party label, when they may just be as “guilty”?

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I would be less worried about party schools for D18 and more worried about my next one. I think I may try to steer her away from party schools, but she will probably go to cc anyway.

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It’s a miracle!

All 32 essays (plus the main essay and a shortened version of main essay) are DONE! DONE! DONE! Edited, revised, everything. Oh my gosh. Such a good feeling for everyone in the family. Even though some aren’t due until December/January, S18 didn’t want a stress cloud over his head and got them all done.

So, a question - can he apply to his regular decision schools now and just indicate his application is for regular decision? Or does he have to wait until the deadline for early action/decision has passed?

Also, on the common app, does he need to request his counselor recommendation for each school that requires it as he submits applications or does the Common App automatically request a counselor rec once his app is submitted?

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Re: party schools - We left Tulane on the list for a long time, and it would still be on the list if S hadn’t liked UNM so much.

Partying can be avoided pretty easily, IHMO. At Tulane, S was considering the substance-free dorm, frex. At UCSB (hubs and I both attended), avoiding parties was as easy as staying out of Isla Vista.

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@labegg I didn’t know TAMU is considered a party school. @-) We are fairly new to Texas and hadn’t heard that before. Is it that bad? I knew they were majorly into tailgating and football games, but I guess I didn’t think of the partying aspect of it. It’s kinda funny I didn’t think of it because my husband and I both went to ASU, which was then and still is considered a party school. My kiddo is a gamer and is interested in the esports at TAMU and spends a ton of time studying. I hope all of that continues at college and he doesn’t get too caught up in the party aspect of college. %-(

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@suzy100 & Others

WashU campus visit from my D’s perspective:

  • I told her not to worry about getting bogged down with any financial aid talks during her visit since I’ve already run all of the NPC numbers and know about what scholarships are available, etc., so nothing new to add on the money side.

The campus was stunning & the dorms & food quality were as advertised – top notch.

The campus seemed to be isolated/insulated deep within the suburbs in its own peaceful little bubble.

All of the students she met seemed to be engaged, helpful, and generally happy to be attending school there.

She & her friends did a cycling class at a new state-of-the-art rec center that she said was amazing.

She stayed with two other girls in their dorm room for one night & met/talked with lots of kids from the same floor & they all stayed-up until about 2 in the morning just talking about this & that.

Partying: some floors in the traditional dorms tend to be more social & have more of a party vibe to them, and the suite-style living in the modern dorms lends itself to more privacy and a somewhat less social atmosphere. The kids say that partying is there (sometimes in a dorm, mostly at the frat houses) if kids are into that, but there’s no pressure on the kids to party – in her words: everyone’s cool either way. She was actually invited to a party the night she stayed over, but turned down the invite.

She said her choice would be one of the modern dorm suite situations where she can have more privacy and the opportunity to retreat to a quiet space to get her studying done without other distractions around her.

Side Note: I believe one of the writers of the movie Animal House attended WashU and based the idea of the movie’s frat house on his WashU experience.

The “South 40” area where the freshman/sophomores live is a beautiful area all by itself and, in places, has the feel of being in a Disney theme park – absolutely beautiful.

She met with the dean of the Olin Business School for about 45 minutes & got a great rundown on the school & programs offered – she said he was a really nice & helpful person.

She sat-in on two classes and each had about 20-30 students in attendance.

She attended a freshman accounting class & enjoyed it – she was even called on by the professor & was happy that she actually knew the answer!

She also attended a freshman economics class & the professor asked a question that nobody raised their hand to answer, so she raised her hand and answered. She & the professor then discussed the topic for a bit & he gave her a nod and moved-on. After the class, another student asked if he could see her notes on that topic & she told him that she didn’t have notes – it was just something she remembered covering in her HS AP Econ class.

She was happy with the classroom experience because one of her burning questions was whether she was smart enough to keep-up with the students who attend the higher-ranked schools. She actually left with the confidence of knowing that she could handle this and actually felt like she belonged with & could keep-up with this group of students.

She met with some admissions folks who gave her info on scholarships, financial aid, and the application process.

And finally, she participated in an interview with two alumni interviewers which she found to be a really helpful experience. It was her first actual interview & she said she wasn’t nervous at all & the interviewers actually made it a fun experience for her.

In-between, she grabbed a meal here & there, but she had a pretty full schedule and didn’t want to trade any of these opportunities just to eat. When I picked her up at the airport yesterday, she was starving so I took her out for some sushi and got a good debriefing from her!

She said she could definitely see herself attending school at WashU (depending on how the finances work out) and will keep it on her list of schools to apply to.

Even if we can swing it so that she could attend here & graduate debt-free, she’ll have to weigh the decision against attending a NM school & then having lots of money to apply towards graduate school. Tough decision, but still a good problem to have!

@suzy100, I hope you enjoy your visit & maybe you can fill-in some of the blanks from a parent’s perspective.

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I know my family’s college search as been influenced by school reputations, for better or worse. It is hard to not be influenced. My family is just as guilty.

@DiotimaDM. Re: Tulane - We happened to be in NOLA last St Patty’s day for a cheer competition. We took the trolley down St Charles to check out Loyola and Tulane. The cars filled up with Tulane kids all “pre-partied” on their way downtown to keep the party rolling. Some of the kids were being very, very obnoxious. It was enough for my DD say “no thank you, not Tulane”…up to that point I had thought of Tulane as a academic powerhouse not as much of a party school. I am guessing that Tulane is one of those schools that is excused from the “party” reputation.

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@trish02 . No, TAMU is not considered a party school, but that is my point. I see as much/hear about as much partying at TAMU from my DDs friends, as I hear about Texas State. Texas State seems to wear the partying King crown in Texas. It is just harder to stay in school at TAMU apparently. I personally know of 4 kids that failed out or dropped out of TAMU due to too much partying, last year. All top 10% auto admits - which explains why Blinn team is a thing I guess, lol.

Texas Tech also seems to escapes the serious party reputation, but there sure seems to be a fair amount of partying going on there, if my DD’s snap chat is a gage of such things!

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So the college admission shenanigans continue …

The biggest school on DD’s list has had her transcript since 9-13. Today I called to see when they would add it to her portal. Somehow I got transferred to the right department. The lady there said she had it but it hadn’t been processed, because there was likely something DD needed to do. I asked her what. She said, kind of huffy, that she would go ahead and mark it “received” right that very minute. And she did, darn it. Every other school managed to do it but this one.

And … I called and left a message for the guidance counselor. This was after a polite email on September 9, asking if she needed any info for the Common App (submitted September 1) and the two paper forms DD gave her with SASEs on September 5. I mean, seriously, how far do I push this? I’m getting all cranky now … and I wonder if the transcript issue was somehow related to the counselor STILL not doing her part of the Common App.

I just hit the button on the Common App to have them re-send her invitation email. Any other thoughts?

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@labegg I agree with you; there is probably partying at every school. I have heard about TAMU being hard to stay in school or keeping grades up. I can’t figure out if it is because of the notorious “weed-out” classes, feeling lost in such a big school, or partying. The idea of you personally knowing 4 kids who failed or dropped out of TAMU last year scares me.

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@bearcatfan I am wondering the same thing about the GC not getting their stuff done influencing the transcripts received for common app schools. The only schools currently not showing received for DD are her common app schools.

DD put in a request to see her GC last Thursday…she has yet to be called down for the meeting. DD thinks GC is avoiding her. I am going to make an appointment if she is not called in by Thursday.