My daughter will look at sorority options at 2 of the schools on her list. I was in a sorority way back when and really enjoyed it. My sister was in the same sorority. Our sorority is at my daughter’s top choice. We did a drive by the house on Friday while we were at the campus for Honor’s College preview. It’s her choice once she checks it all out. Both colleges rush in the spring, which I think is a great idea. They get a chance to settle in and meet people.
Went to accepted student day for UF today. They had a guest speaker that would have been fun to see but due to bad weather (which caused a pretty major accident and traffic delays… hope everyone was ok), they were not able to speak. Otherwise it was a reasonably productive visit if only for the chance to have a discussion about college without it ending with a “come on dad, i have better things to do” attitude 
I was surprised at the lack of financial aid info available and it seemed like they assumed you had toured previously (DW had taken S18 last summer and I missed out as they only offer weekday tours) as the tours weren’t well advertised or well organized. Don’t try to do both the engineering tour and campus walking tour as even though they don’t show as conflicting, they are. The engineering tour took much longer than advertised (it was a decent tour though the guides were a bit repetitive). Lots of housing options available to see first hand today but the information and signs for where to go were limited. Unfortunately we won’t really know if he gets his housing preference for awhile yet. This was big on his criteria for choosing a school and I’m sure it is for others too. It’s a bit of a shame you have to go in blind when making a decision between schools.
TL;DR: If you’ve toured and know this is where you are going, I wouldn’t strongly recommend the Florida Days visit, but it was ok and comparable to other accepted student days we’ve been to.
We’ve now put deposits down but when I said all the cool kids make it official by posting on Instagram he said that wouldn’t happen cuz he is not on Instagram. Walked into that one…
Just need to make it through one more quarter!
When S16 headed off to college, I didn’t anticipate he’d have any interest in rushing or greek life. He was a fairly quiet teen who had a small friend group, played some sports, no real girlfriends in HS. His college doesn’t allow fall freshmen to rush, but at the end of his first semester he asked what I thought about him joining a fraternity. I suggested he go to the rush activities and see what he thought, and he ended up receiving a bid and joining a fraternity. A year and a half later, he seems to really enjoy the fraternity experience, in part because I think it made it easier to meet other students and find activities over the weekends. He also seems to enjoy the philanthropic events they do individually and with sororities…never expected him to tell me he woke up at 6 am on a Saturday in April to run a fundraising race!
I’m not sure if D18 will rush, but I will strongly recommend she wait at least until the spring semester like our S16 did, so that she can first get settled in and see if she finds other activities that she’d prefer to do instead. I realized after S16’s experience that I wasn’t quite sure what his social life would be like once he was off at college - they do grow and change after being away from home, that’s for sure! His growth has definitely been positive - each time we see him it’s clear he’s figured out how to balance school and college life, and I’m hoping D18 figures it out as well.
@Booajo Congratulations on Richmond and Denison!
University of Chicago moved from deferred to Declined. Not surprising, and does not change much due to NFW, but each “rejection” stings just a little bit
.
@DavidPuddy the rejections alway hurt a little.
Re Greek life, I joined Alpha Phi Omega, a co-ed service fraternity, in the fall semester of my sophomore year. Although we had pledging activities, it wasn’t connected to the university’s “regular” Greek system with rushing or bids or anything like that; anyone who wanted to join and completed the pledge requirements (mainly service hours) was admitted. APO doesn’t allow its chapters to have residences, so we had a campus office like other clubs. Although technically Greek, I never thought of APO as being a “real” sorority/fraternity.
It was a wonderful experience. I joined because most of my friend group did, and once there I met others who became even closer friends. It’s where I met my husband. The spirit of volunteerism still stays with me as a result of my positive experience with APO. If there is an APO chapter at UTD I will probably encourage S to go check it out, or at least to take a look at service clubs in general. As for a more traditional fraternity, I suspect most of them would be of no interest to S but if he wants to join one I will support it. I would encourage him to wait at least until his second semester to commit to something so time-consuming though.
Sorry about UChicago @DavidPuddy.
Decision made, deposit paid here! S18 is joining the Wolfpack at NC State this fall.
How I wish I’d found this board months ago! Mom of a senior. This process has been exciting but excruciating on many levels.
Re Greek life, be prepared in case your kid, despite their current lack of interest, decides to rush at the last minute. When all their new friends are heading out the door of the dorm on a Friday night to attend a rush function, its hard to say no and stay behind. My older D swore up and down that she had no interest in rush even though sororities were quite active at her school, so we did nothing to prepare her, or us. She ended up rushing at the last minute with friends from her dorm, and was unprepared for the rejections as well as the acceptances. She eventually decided not to pledge anywhere, then went through rush again in the spring in order to join a specific house where she had friends and was comfortable. It worked out great for her and she loves her house and sisters, but if I had to do it again I would sit her down in the summer before freshman year (and make her listen this time), educate her about the rush process, where her female relatives were members, etc… I would also prepare myself for how expensive joining a sorority can be. Now, S18 swears he has no interest, and I believe him and that’s fine. He is still going to get a RUSH 101 tutorial from me.
DS has officially committed signing the acceptance letters for both the Ole Miss band and CME. It has been the decision for a couple weeks and money is already down on deposits and orientation but it gets a little more real when he signs the binding contract.
Still waiting on 8 schools. Sigh. D is handling it well, but all the other kids are chatting obsessively at school about waiting on the same schools and it’s not helping.
Regarding Greek life, DH pledged a fraternity his freshman year at UT-Austin. It was a lot of fun…so much fun that he was put on academic probation first semester. He didn’t end up sticking with the fraternity but had a fun freshman year that ruined his gpa. I pledged a sorority as a transfer student and it was a very positive experience. It truly depends on the campus, the particular group of people, and the discipline of the student. I was focused on my major and enjoyed the social life and friendships of the sorority. My very shy niece came out of her shell by going through rush and joining a sorority in college. DS18 does not plan to go through rush. He has heard some stories by older friends from his hs who are in frats now and all involve some level of hazing and ridiculous requirements. One states that he is “required” to let his “brothers” drive his truck whenever they please. Another shared that pledges are always “on call” to be designated drivers for the active members which could mean getting a phone call any hour of any night of the week and driving home a drunk person who just might puke in your car (hey, I was excited that they were using DDs). There have also been stories of the crazy partying, drinking, and drugs. DS has not partied in hs and I think is actually scared of the pressure to do things that he doesn’t want to do. I do think there are positives including the friendships, social life, philanthropy and negatives including cost, time commitment, and usually a good deal of partying (although that will happen outside of greek life too…just may be more persistant in greek life).
@vistajay Can you offer some insight for those of us unfamiliar with Greek life? As in costs and how to prepare for rushing? My husband and I attended a large state university where greek life was very popular but somehow we ended up making our way socially without being involved. I will say my friends that were involved had a wonderful experience. But with all that said I’m clueless about greek life. Any advice that I can pass on to my daughter would be greatly appreciated. She has said she doesn’t want to rush, but she is one that I could see change her mind if all her friends decided to do so.
@klbmom18 wow, does that sound familiar! We are “only” waiting on four though.
@cliffhanger2018 I love your name! Very fitting for us right now.
Congratulations to everyone making final decisions. We will be one of the last ones to do that but at least it will be over relatively soon. S18 is picking up his graduation announcements today. :((
@AmyBeth68 I am certain different colleges have different fees and charges but I can tell you that at my D15’s school, the financial obligations go beyond joining fees and dues. Not only did she have a one time fee to join (which was pricey in itself), but there is a fee per semester for the rest of her 4 years there. She also gets penalized with a fee if she misses a meeting or function without a written excuse from a parent. And please don’t get me started on the specific clothes they have to buy to represent everything from recruitment to formals to themed parties. I am talking a printed booklet with specific items for recruitment that is pure lunacy. Shoes must be a certain heel height and color, shorts from a specific store (white, 3 inch inseam, JCrew), a gold belt 1" from Target, a blush, not too pink, not too beige dress for greeting incoming pledges, etc…My college did not have a greek system so this was all new to me. D22 sees all the craziness and says ‘no way, no how, not for me.’
Based on all she has seen within the fraternities at her school, she has told me that S18 is never allowed to pledge. He has no plans at this point, but like @vistajay said, things might change when he gets to school and his new friends are rushing. It terrifies me.
I hate to hijack this thread with sorority talk but could go on for days on the pros and cons my daughter has experienced by being part of one. Happy to PM anybody that wants more info or insight.
@AmyBeth68, at schools with very traditional sorority systems-like USCal, W&L, UT-Austin…you need to send in letters of recommendation from family members or friends who were members of that sorority, during the summer before arriving on campus. I know that sounds old fashioned, and my D scoffed at me, but it makes a difference many places. Most of the girls from New Orleans that I know who go off to college will send such letters to target sororities. It is not necessary with all sororities, but certain ones, at certain schools, care about it and care if your grandmother was a Kappa, Tri Delt etc… We also found it harder at a school like USC if your D is out of state. All the in state girls will already know girls in all the target sororities and probably attend summer functions or informal get togethers with them. You are behind the curve if out of state. As for cost, dues alone at USC are $4000 a year. And that does not include all the gear they need to buy. Not meaning to sound negative as my D loves her sorority, but these are things to think about. I am sure others can offer their own experiences at other schools.
Wow I really was/am clueless about Greek Life. I knew there were costs involved but had no clue it was that much. I don’t think my D18’s top school is very strongly Greek like some of the other schools she has been accepted to. She is adament at this time that she wants to join a service Sorority or co-ed Fraternity. I am hoping that perhaps she stays that way. Thanks to @vistajay @VaNcBorder and @traveler98 for all the insight and help. This is a part of the process, and it’s great to go in with a better sense of what to expect.